Living in the Past Syndrome

[gypsydream]

So I have noticed a recurring phenomenon in my life; I can't stop living and looking in the past, when things in my current life aren't going so great.

Currently, I do not care for my job, my school, I have no boyfriend, and all my friends have vanished.

There was a time, maybe 2 years ago, where I was so content with my life and everything felt perfect. A lady came into my work, back then, and asked "when was a time where you were your happiest?" And my answer was, "I am at my happiest, right now." She then explained that if your answer is anything other than now, that you need to analyze your life and fix what you can to change that answer to now.

I had the world at my hands 2 years ago. I had just gotten my first job and everything was so exciting and new, and my coworkers were amazing. On top of that, I was so in love with my boyfriend and was on cloud nine. I also had a group of friends I was inseparable with and they always made life so fun.

...but time goes by and things change... a lot. My boyfriend starts showing his true colors and stops treating me good, he made me feel as if I had no presence. He became selfish and stopped trying anymore. I had to get out. I now feel there is nothing I can find to do or that I want to do with my time anymore because I gave so much of it to him. Being with him also negatively took a toll on my circle of friends. I started seeing them less and less and after a while, they all just moved on with their lives without me. I would try to make plans but they always fell through. At my job, most of the coworkers I loved left, and the environment is so different now. It used to feel so laid back and fun, and now, all anyone does is complain about the simplest thing.

All of the negative aspects occurring in my life seem to just keep piling up. It seems that every time my life isn't going great, I always look back on the times it was great. I just dwell in the past and wish I could go back and stay there.

I think the point is that sometimes, certain things are only meant to be in our lives for so long. I feel that there is a reason why some things tend to go stale, it's life's way of telling you that it's time to move on and this situation has just run it's course. I think things do happen for a reason.

Why is it that when we are having a tough time, the past always seems better than the life we are living right now is? It's because back then we didn't face the same obstacles we are now. I think maybe I, or even you, can romanticise the past because we are so blinded by what our current hardships are. I am unhappy now but I know I am capable of happiness and that's a good feeling. Here's to a road of looking forward and recreating the happiness I know I am capable of.

What are your thoughts?

[BrittBratt2416]

Yeah its called nostalgia, everyone looks back to a time when things were different and much more simpler. For example, I always look back at the music, fashion, and shows I use to watch as a kid in the 90's cause its what I grew up with and remember. To me back then things weren't as complicated as they are now and even I wish I could jump back to the 90's or least experience what the 80's were like sometimes. I also think you look back to the past because you have regrets that you wish you could do certain things differently. Now that you know your boyfriend was no good you probably wish you could go back and drop him before his true colors even appeared. You also wish you would hung out with your friends more often, You also wish the people who made you comfortable at work were around. Sometime I wonder what would have happened if I kissed my crush back in elementary school when he came over to hang out, even though he thought I was grotesque. But looking back at the past sometimes is a good thing, you learn from your past mistakes and know what you can do differently if the same problems end up repeating itself in the present. Now all you have to do is look forward to the future.

[Kuraj]

What I believe in is that happiness is only temporary, because as you mentioned, people and circumstances change, loving relationships all eventually turn into shit, people who meant the world to you turn out to be the things that will hurt you the most.

I have personally just learned to accept that human existence is just a miserable predicament and that living happily ever after is just a fairy tale quote.
Once I got that out of the way I just learned to be happy and content with the "small things" in my life.
Such as going to bakery every day to grab some kornbaguette to make a salmon sandwich when I get home, or walking my cat around the woods here while taking pictures for my work.
I stopped caring about people or my future, instead focusing on making money to buy me whatever I want at any given time.
Come home to work out, have a long bath then sext or have sex with fwbs who are similarly disinterested in pursuit of anything more.

And now I'm fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Asad1ONE1]

Past is history; learn from past mistakes and do not dwell on negative thoughts, for they will engulf you. Remember good moments in life. If they happened before they can happen again.

Future is mystery; focus on the present and do not leave God and prayer and hope, for He will help you find the right people to be around and achieve good times.

The BIGGEST mistake anyone, including myself, can make is using past experiences (good or bad) to judge the people of our world. There are 7.5 Billion+ on Earth. How many have you seen?

[AnomalyGuy]

I'm pretty unhappy. I have a girlfriend but she's just not answering me back. My family is rude. My girlfriend is my only friend. I have PTSD and depression. But happiness is a person's choice. They can choose if they're upset or happy. Sadly, I can't exactly choose.

[meganthemenace]

I do, sometimes.. Sometimes I visit my grandmother and long for her old house in the same spot that burst into flames, years ago.. But the new house just doesn't feel the same.. It's less homey.. Plus, the older house is the one I grew up with and have the fondest memories of.

[fueledbythc]

Happiness is a choice. I learned that when i was depressed. During that time, nostalga was the only thing keeping me going. I just take things by the day, spread my happiness with everyone, even as little as a smile, a simple acknowledgement, etc.

[Asad1ONE1]

Yes happiness, just like anything else, is earned.

[Browneye57]

My god, you got all that swirling around in your head?

People reminisce - it's common. If you want things to be different and better then take steps to do that. Start something new, explore a new interest, socialize, get a new job, etc.

[Bezbozhnikustanka]

The PST was misseriable, the present is misseriable, I doubt I'll have any fun in the future, what the hell was the point of being born?

[TomBradysJersey]

I'm kind of unhappy right now too, tbh.

[Asad1ONE1]

Earn it. Be fortunate to be very young now.

[Anonymous]

I'm guilty of this and sometimes it's painful