No Sleep, No Sex, No Summer :'(

[Anonymous]

No sleep. My loving husband of only 3 months was diagnosed with severe Restless Leg Syndrome, which until it is properly controlled, prevents him from getting to sleep at night. We no longer sleep in the same bed, because he kicks and fidgets when he tries to sleep, and he suffers through long hours at his demanding job to pay our bills while I'm on maternity leave. Talk about overtired.

It causes me to go into overdrive when he's not sleeping, so I stay up thinking I can help him somehow get to sleep. He almost always send me to bed saying "you can't do anything about this". It'll take me a while to let go of the fact that it's not something I can help my husband with, which makes me upset.

No sex. See above... lack of sleep seriously kills the mood. Not sleeping in the same bed will also kill it, as well as having a newborn baby. It's a siesta of mood-killing vibes that mean our sex life is non-existent. We try to get excited, and we both really crave the intimacy again, so here's hoping something changes and it eventually comes back around.

No summer. After gaining weight after baby was born, I never leave the house without pants on, generally always scarves and hats and baggy shirts, and it's HOT. God forbid I leave showing flabby skin though...yikes. I sometimes feel like I'm covering up my body for religious reasons, but no, it's for lack of self confidence reasons. It'll get better, I'll eventually have more time for myself when baby gets older and I care about looking better again.

Damn, girl! Hahaha

Vent if the day, done. Thanks for reading!

[KnightCastor]

I'm very sorry for your husband. Not being able to sleep is the absolute worse thing in the world. Seriously. There are very few things that are worse than not being able to sleep at night. Is this something he was recently diagnosed with? Did he just recently show symptoms of This? Maybe high amounts of stress has brought this on? Is it his job? I'm not saying that he should up and quit... but, maybe start job-hunting for a different job? Something not so demanding? He could also get a doctor's order that prevents him from doing certain things at his job.

In terms of not sleeping in the same bed... MANY and I mean MANY married couples don't sleep in the same bed. I'm talking about happy and loving couples that have been married for MANY years... not sleeping in the same bed. Does not effect their intimacy or sex lives in the slightest. They have the same amount of sex as the next couple.. they just don't sleep in the same bed. For whatever reason they don't sleep together: wanting more living space, liking the idea of having their own bed, working different hours, etc.

What I'm saying is the two of you should work a bit harder to maintain the intimacy between you two. Even though all these thing are happening in your life, certain things should always remain a priority: taking care of the family, intimacy and each other's happiness.

In terms of your self-confidence, you need to realize that things will happen to your body as you go through life and you have to accept these things and continue living normally. I got glasses. They were the ugliest things ever... but, I accepted it and moved on. I got braces, I accepted it and moved. I gained weight.. I accepted it and moved on. Weight comes and goes. Braces come and go. Even glasses come and go. When you're much older, you will SERIOUSLY regret not cherishing the youth and beauty you have now. You have a husband and children that think you're beautiful and that should be enough for you to believe that you're beautiful as well.

I seriously hope you're husband gets better!