The Do's And Do Not's Of Depression

[MatthewGoodman]

About 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression, that is about 5% of the world's population. Yet many of us don't know what to do while helping a person with this mental illness, so that is why I took the time to develope this Take outlining what you should and shouldn't do.

DO'S

Do Let Them Know You Care

Often times people with depression feel like nobody cares about what they are going through. Like they have nobody to trust. Ensure them that you care for them and that you are there for them when they need you.

Do Give Them Their Space

Sometimes it is just best for certain people to be alone. If they really just want their space, give it to them. Let them be and give them times to gather themself if needed, but don't neglect them. Be there when they need you.

Do Let Them Vent

Venting is a great way to let someone ease off of their emotions. It can also be pretty upsetting if someone is venting to or at you. Let people with depression vent and don't take anything they say personally. Sometimes when you are venting you say things that you don't really mean. Just give them time to let everything out. Make sure to pay attention while they are venting. Sometimes you just need to vent to someone, but when they aren't even paying attention, it feels like venting to a brick wall.

DON'TS

Don't Say You Understand What They're Going Through

When comforting someone, don't tell them you know what their going through, because chances are, you don't. Depression isn't just feeling sad, often times it is accompanied by feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, loneliness, self hatred, fear, guilt and/or dread if not other emotions. So unless you TRULY know what they are feeling don't tell them you understand, because if you don't you can just end up making things worse.

Don't Pressure Them

Pressuring a person with depression to tell you what they are feeling can potentially make the situation worse. Often times people with depression don't feel like they can tell others what they are feeling. This also leads into our next point.

Don't Let Them Bottle Their Emotions

This is one of the things that makes depression so devastating.People feel like they can't share what they are feeling, so they end up just bottling those emotions. Bottling emotions can be good at times, but if it is done to excess, it can lead to mental and even physical illness. Encourage them to share what they are feeling, but don't pressure them.

Those are just some of the Dos and Don'ts of depression that I could think of. If any of you have depression or know someone with depression,do you agree? Is there anything that I should've includes? Please let me know, and as always, thanks for reading.

[Whimzy]

I've had worsening depression for about ten years, and it finally hit it's peak during my senior year of high school. It got so bad that my teachers finally started noticing that something was wrong. The school ended up setting me up with a counselor who came to the same conclusion that I had a few years before: I had depression. I'm doing a lot better now, but one thing I wish more people understood was that telling a depressed person that they "have no reason to be depressed" doesn't help them, it only worsens the problem. I was told that so often that I had stopped trying to seek help and instead focused on helping myself by learning what made me happy. Grounding techniques to focus on something other than my thoughts and emotions, writing to de-clutter my mind, walking until I was so exhausted I'd pass out as soon as I sat down so I wouldn't have the energy to do something stupid, reading to escape myself, were all things I had taught myself. If people hadn't made me feel like I should be ashamed for seeking help for something that I, in their minds, didn't have, then maybe I would have learned those things sooner and maybe I wouldn't have almost ruined my senior year.

Great post, though.

[Wolframium]

Person with depression here. Let me answer couple of these things.
“Do Let Them Know You Care” No. They don’t (care). Who is “they”? Well…everyone. You write about it in that very paragraph, this is exactly, how I have it. Not that many people to talk to, and if I bring something negative, then suddenly, I am too negative, toxic and so on. “But Wolframium, it’s not about you bringing it couple of time, you do that all the time!” I’m sorry that I have depression, which doesn’t go away. I’m sorry for inconveniencing you.
“Do Give Them Their Space” Oh, they do that. Too much. Too well.
“Do Let Them Vent” No. Just…no. You vent, you’re out. No more talking, you’ll be ignored. Because…you know…buzzwords like negative and toxic. God damn it, where are the days, when toxic actually meant really harmful substance? Hydrargyrum or plumbum for example. Those are toxic elements.
“Don't Say You Understand What They're Going Through” Well…they don’t say that. Because I cannot talk about my shit, because I cannot trust basically anyone, because there is nobody to listen.
“Don't Pressure Them” Again, like with the space thing. They don’t. Mostly, it’s vacuum of ignoring me.
“Don't Let Them Bottle Their Emotions” Bottled sadness, depression and loneliness. Only 1 € per 1 l bottle. Who is interested?

I guess it’s time to be honest. I manage, most of the times. But one slip and some friendship might go away. “Well, that’s not friendship then.” Yeah…no shit, Sherlock. “Well…do you have some…like…actual friends?” No. How do I know? The only thing what you have to do is just observe, how people act, what they do and maybe stop writing them first. No…don’t do it, because you’ll find that nobody cares about you. Or maybe someone does, good for you.
Partially, I get it. You cannot ask for people to be here for everyone. To remember you, talk to you, withstand insane emotional outbursts. On the other hand, that’s the problem (at least for me). That nobody cares.
Do you know, why I don’t write comments (this is this-site-specific) on any article type with more than 30 blue comments? Because nobody would read that. It would only stay on some database on some server somewhere. And I would like to ask people (like I get any answer :-D ), who comment, when something has like…150 comments. Why?

[Wolframium]

Why do you bother? No, there is nobody, who will read that (chances are so tiny), let alone comment on it. Sure, it might cost you not much of anything to do that, but add it all up, every time, when you comment somewhere with a lot of comments.

I guess I feel like this. Nobody cares, because nobody even sees. It’s simply too much, you’d have to know that you have to look for something specific in specific place and time…
I guess all what I am asking for is…loving girlfriend and couple of close friends. I will never have that. No, no, STFU. I can say what I want, it doesn’t change reality in any way. What I do changes things. And what I do? I’m trying to find new friends. And guess what… Conversations just…die after some time.

[watisgoingon]

and DONT take any pills to fight depression. just don't do it. it might be a short term solution but it won't help in the long run. it's not worth it. take up swimming lessons instead or be active in a group of people who are exercising. its fun and it will FOR SURE improve things

[JenSCDC]

Telling people to avoid medication outright is very dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Yeah... this is true... but... personally, I try to tell as few people as possible and no matter how much one of my friends tells me it’s ok to vent... I feel really guilty when I do... like I might have made their day worse...