Ahhh, living alone. My oldest top priority goal when I was still living under my creators roof. I couldn't bear the time being with them and being dependent on them and basically being their property.
I still remember it like a veterans scar: The 13 year old me (10 years ago) decided, that I need to move out and live on my own. At 15 years my decision was manifested and there was no turning back seeing I have practically lost my home - Germany.
I have been continuously living alone for a year long now and I loved *every* moment it. Earlier before that I was cohabiting with someone (I will not tell who it was). And that started in around 2014 with some breaks in between (I went to the institute to get my associates degree in the town and moved ~60 kilometers away from my creators).
I love living alone!
And here is why:
Everything is in place. Everything is exactly where I left it
In my parents home items often went missing or were misplaced. Most of the times I couldn't find what I was looking for. Especially when it came to paper. Those disappeared faster than you could turn away for an hour and come back and find it no more. I have even lost books for my institute, which I managed to make my parents pay for it (seeing it wasn't my fault for stocking them actually away and not finding them there anymore).
It's a complete mess in my parents home. Items. Go. Missing. Period.
Talking was and is of no help.
This is why I'm living alone on my own terms.
Silence. Sweet silence.
No screaming competitions, no freak shows, no drama, no fights and no television spreading bad news and propaganda. Just the sweet silence and harmony. The thing I was craving for oh so long and got only when I was temporarily alone in my parents home. I am alone and in peace. This is where I rejuvenate and recharge my energy.
I can do whatever I want - FREEDOM!
As long as I am not burning down the apartment that is of course (well, you get the point).
I can watch porn and not even hide it
I can masturbate at will
I can listen to music in moderate-loud volume
I can stay up and sleep at any time
I can come and go at will without telling anybody
Around here I am the lord (aside from the actual landlord)
I can bring a woman here and have sex with her at my place! At last! Nobody else will know (unless she snitches)
This is what I did in Valentine's day 2018 (if you don't know - PornHub goes free premium at this day for 24 hours long):
No one is bothering me
No one is here. No one is making any noise. No one is bothering me.
No one is making me sad or miserable or degrades me in any way.
No one is vaping inside the room or comes (or becomes) home drunk. No one is bringing any guests home.
I'm not missing anything or anybody. But if you do, you're alone and *you* can bring guests yourself without asking anyone for permission or notifying them.
Need I say more?
Well Ja, actually.
Before I moved out it was like my parents decided the mood for me - how is the day today going to be? alright, scheiße or extra beschissen? By default it was scheiße.
Here and now I decide my days - all of them. What will I do today? What can I do today to improve my tomorrow? Any long term plans? What's for tomorrow? Every day counts and I make them just that. In any case no more forced miseries.
What I have been missing the most growing up. I love seeing that high speed and reliable ping!
Seeing my parents were never interested or able to get a home with normal wired internet. Always had to (and they still up to this day do) use 3G internet with terrible connection.
Note, this is a server in Germany and I'm not in Germany and this is why the ping is so high - I did it in order to preserve my location privacy.
Developing lone survival skills.
Cooking, cleaning, time management, financial management, getting things done, getting enough, restful sleep, house chores, laundry... all those duties fall on me and that's how I like it. I like being the responsible one since I can change things at will *snaps with fingers* just like that and not hope someone will do it for me after having asked them for the tenth time.
I craved it like I craved sex (aka masturbating to porn) and independence and freedom! In my opinion privacy is crucial for a healthy self development and I had minimal of it before I departed for the institute.
It is quite expensive!
90% of my salary is spent on normal and adequate living expenses as a result of me living comfortably alone.
It is much easier to share the home with someone but this someone must be someone cool, who will never backstab you or vandalize your stuff or anything.
Also it's much more comfortable sharing the home when it has 2 bedrooms instead of just 1.
Not so Awesome 😐
Still, it's worth every cent of it! My well being depends on it big time. That's how it's supposed to be.
In the beginning and the end of every day money talks. Money makes it possible. This is capitalism and I need not to explain myself any more.
Now I just wish I could have done this at 15 years of age if not 13. So many years were wasted in vain and there was nothing I could do about it at that time and place. Time is precious! Time and Money are the assets! And then you have to consider what kind of comfort you want to live in. The level of your chosen comfort level will determine how much time and money you will spend on daily chores.
All that matters to me now is continuing and maintaining this cycle. That's life!
Thanks for stopping by and reading this.
Peace y'all 🦄