Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

9teen

The definition I have for an old soul is basically a young man or woman who does not really fit in the modern way of living and has this strange nostalgia for how things were in the past.

´´Someone who has a greater appreciation and understanding of things that might be dismissed by others their age. An old soul would have a different taste in things than the mainstream media. They are often wise beyond their age or appearance.

~ Anonymous

We love the company of the elderly.

This may sound strange but we have a better (of course a non romantic) connection with people who´ve been through a lot and are full of experiences and knowledge. We love to hear the stories from the elderly and we could talk with them for hours. We find a lot of common ground with them despite the great age differences. This might make it harder for us to date people from our age because we generally don´t find the satisfaction of a good conversation and we don´t feel understood. The elderly are full of wisdom, full of stories and sometimes we wish we could go back to their simple yet incredible life.

We don´t like modern dating.

We are holding our traditional values high and we do not care about society´s nonsense that it is not empowering and it is backwards or whatever. We view modern dating as a complete waste of time and we think of it as immature and destructive. We view one night stands, hook ups, promiscuity and casual sex as trash, meaningless, shallow and again destructive. We value virginity and chastity even though it might mean nothing to you. We value depth. We value a solid emotional commitment. Love is pure, it is about growing together and improving one another, not about giving/taking or just to fill up your loneliness. We value marriage. Quality over quantity, It is.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

We love ´gender roles´.

Even though we think there is no such a thing as gender roles because it´s natural (see my other take about 50/50). Just like the old times, we want the man to be the breadwinner and the woman to be the caretaker. Doesn´t mean she can´t work, she can, just not full-time like the man. The man is responsible for the finances, the woman is responsible for the house. It really isn´t a wonder that this way is working the best out though.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

We don´t believe in equality.

We don´t believe the male is equal to the female. That´s like saying the day is equal to the night. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Both are attractive in their own way. We don´t seek gender neutrality, making both genders lose their uniqueness. Plus, it wouldn´t work out because in the end the male is built differently than the female, mentally and physically. Forcing equality while it is technically seen impossible leads to destruction as you may have noticed nowadays. We expect a man to treat a woman like a woman and a woman to treat a man like a man.

We don´t fall for the average guy or girl.

We strongly believe masculinity and femininity is a thing just how it is backed up by science. We don´t fall for the average guy of nowadays who is embracing femininity and we don´t fall for the average girl who is embracing masculinity. We strongly feel attracted to those who are the gender they are and are embracing their own gender. Women being women and men being men.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

We have strong morals.

We despise swearing, disrespect, disloyalty, dishonor, dishonesty, promiscuity and impoliteness. It´s rare to find someone who shares the same morals. The majority of today has at least one or more of these. We would refuse anyone who doesn´t have strong morals.

We have a strong sense of purpose.

We know exactly what we want and we know how to get it. Apart from the family life, we aim higher on an academical level as well. We could never work out with someone who has no ambitions and no purpose in life. We wouldn´t only get bored, we think of it as a waste of time of his or her life too, especially if life is giving so many opportunities to develop yourself in different ways. There is no limit and it will all benefit you in the end. We don´t fit into the ´entertainment´ society. For us, it´s all about hard work and development in different ways to become a better version of ourselves.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

We have a strong sense of identity.

We have high standards because we know who we are and what we have to offer. Throughout years of developing ourselves intellectually (rationality, academically, languages, common sense etc), personally (character, maturity, confidence, wisdom, respect, etc) and physically (dancing, cooking, writing, sports etc), we don´t expect to date anyone who isn´t at least on the same level or higher. We have this need to feel impressed. If we don´t feel impressed, it will be nothing but maybe a friendship. We would never date someone who isn´t intelligent and hard working.

We know when to walk out of a relationship too. We would never let anyone walk over us, mistreat us, disrespect us and play with us. An old soul is more mature than his age peers. Our minds are mature. We don´t take any nonsense and we use our rationality instead of our feelings even when we have deep feelings. We have a clear view of what´s right and wrong.

Don’t expect us to dress provocatively.

We value elegance and dignity a lot. We want to be respected, it doesn’t matter whether someone finds us attractive or not. We´re not here to impress the public sexually nor do we seek any validation. We are comfortable with ourselves. What matters to us, is that we look clean, have our style, are comfortable and receive respect. Revealing or slutty clothes aren´t equal to beautiful. In our eyes it is trashy. Modesty is beautiful, which means no cleavage, not too much skin showing etc. The only way to get us dress revealing, is in private. We have an antique and elegant taste of sensuality though, which is nowhere as close as modern´s way of brutal provocative lewd kind of taste.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

Our personalities are complex.

Throughout years and knowledge we have improved and discovered more and more from our personalities. Our personalities are probably the most intense and contain a lot of depth. We´re dreamers and thinkers by nature. We are passionate about learning. We think incredibly a lot, thinking deeply about a subject and going from one to another. We see deeply into the nature of reality. Having depth and seeking truth in a society that values materialistic status, objects, and superficial appearance can intimidate most people from getting to know us.

We have old ears.

We don´t like modern music and that might be a reason enough to not date someone. We love classical music, and all those old school ones. Metal, rock and what not sounds like trash to us. Mainstream music is 9 of the 10 times only about drugs, alcohol and sex, not only incredibly cringeworthy but someone who glorifies that is absolutely a deal breaker in our eyes. Music should be like art, it must hit you emotionally, it must have contained effort to create it.

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard

We love solitude.

We don´t like to be social all the time. We don´t really like parties, drama, noisy places, crowds and what not. We actually enjoy reading a book, gardening or just researching an entire subject more. We need that time to sort our minds out and to do something which fills up our energy and satisfies our burning passion. We´re fine being alone and we don´t necessarily need friends in order to survive. If we like someone´s company more than our own solitude (happens when we love) then that means he or she is special to us and connects with us on a deep spiritual level.

Conclusion.

Falling in love with an old soul is hard because the chance that you will attract them isn´t big. Old souls usually go for other old souls who actually understand them. If you managed to attract an old soul and have passed those high standards then know that we expect you to meet our needs just like how we will meet yours. Apart from having an incredibly strong connection and a very interesting person to talk to, you´ll also experience another deeper kind of love and see other perspectives of life. It´s hard but it´s totally worth the effort, they say.

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. ~ Lao Tzu

Why Falling in Love With an Old Soul is Hard
41 Opinion