"It's not what you hear, but how you listen to it." She said to me.

Its not what you hear, but how you listen to it. She said to me.

So, I have this older female "friend" so to speak. (She's actually kind of a stalker who works at my university campus as a registration counselor). So she basically looks like Jessica Chastain above, but much taller. Her family comes from old money, so she's rich AF technically, but still earns her own income at the university.She likes to hang out with me.

She's a divorced 40-something year old redheaded woman without children. She only ever wears black clothing, and she's kind of naughty. A very sharp-witted, aggressive, shark of a woman. No nonsense, no-BS, and can intimidate some men with her boldness. She does boxing and is an expert poker player (not that I've seen her play, but I'll take her word for it), and is uber-confident, especially considering her age and being single and childless. If one were to make a guess and "read the room," it'd seem like she has the hots for me (but I doubt it, since we're the same height, she's rich, extremely attractive looking, and definitely an Alpha Female). But for some reason, she likes to hang out with me.

One time, she invited me to go shooting with her, at the shooting range. She's a regular there. We had some serious talks, mainly about me and my life, and she always likes asking me questions about myself. So this day, I finally asked why she was hanging out with me, especially being seven years older than me. She's a straight-shooter, as I said, so she asks me, if I was an uneducated thuggish black man. I was confused, so she asked again, aggressively.

"Are you an uneducated, unintelligent, thuggish black man? Are you a nigga?"

I chuckled, half in disbelief, and half in genuine humor, and said, "No, I'm not a nigga."

She nodded her head briefly and pressed her pointer and middle fingers against my temple, and then said these words to me (most of them), that I still remember burned into my brain.

"No, you're not a nigga. You've got a brain. You're intelligent. You're not the type to let a two-syllable word control you. You're not the type to get manipulated. You're not the type to act like a f*cking moron because some rich a**hole is getting elected to the White House to continue doing the same sh*t the last one did. ...You think. You act. Others don't think. They only react. And I honestly don't know too many people like that. Why am I interested in you? Because you don't have confidence and swagger. And I can't figure out why the blue f*ck you don't."

I still don't know what to say to this, to this day. I was just left speechless. Like... Wow. What do I even say to that? And how does this one lady I've known for five to six weeks know me better than most people in my own life? Including family members.

After collecting my thoughts, I kinda changed the subject a little and asked her how did she end up as self-assured as she is. She said this was a secret of life she knew that was very simple.

"It's not what you hear, but how you listen to it."

And I didn't know what else to say after that.

Who can interpret this to me? I don't know what to make of all of this and it's been quite a while since this day. It's just this perplexing experience in my mind.

"It's not what you hear, but how you listen to it." She said to me.
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