Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): Have you heard of it, or do you identify with it?

[Ozanne]

Yes, this is an actual thing. When people often say "you're so sensitive" - perhaps you are. There is nothing wrong with being that way. It's said that those of us who are Highly Sensitive People (HSP) make up about 15% of us. So while others are experiencing normal stimuli to things, people like me who are HSP are often experiencing more than you can imagine.

Hearing

Usually every sense is more acute. You can pick up things a little more when you hear them. Or you hear absolutely everything go on around you, rather than tuning things out to focus on one thing. This can be very overwhelming, and sometimes frustrating if you're in a restaurant trying to listen to what someone in front of you is saying, yet you also equally pick up the conversation at the table next to you, and the table on the other side, and the tables behind you and in front of you.

Sight

Your sight may be strong - even if you require glasses. You see colours more vibrantly, and have a better sense of your peripheral range than others. Because of this, you may experience more headaches - and even then, your headaches are worse than others' since you tend to feel things more.

Taste & Smell

These two are often linked together, and for a HSP they allow people to feel more pleasure when eating. A smell and taste can linger, and you can pick up things such as the smell of something faint where someone else may not smell anything at all.

Touch

There are those who love being touched and those who hate it. For the HSP, being touched is such a sensation, that we can go to the extremes of either way. Touch can be so sensitive at times that it can actually feel painful. I responded to a topic to someone recently about oral sex and why it is uncomfortable for some people, simply because they are too sensitive to endure it for any length of time. For a pleasure zone like a clitoris, the first few moments can feel fine, but quickly feel painful.

Feelings

With sensitivity of course the nervous system is also affected. HSPs tend to feel much more, and show their feelings easily. They pick up on cues from people, notice even the slightest change in behaviour, and have 'a sense' something is happening more than most people do. Some people might guess that the boss at work is having a bad day because his/her door is shut. But the HSP will sense their boss is having a bad day before that door closes, by picking up on slight things that are unseen or unheard by most.

There is nothing wrong with being a Highly Sensitive Person. There are many advantages of being stimulated more than others. Those who are HSP usually identify danger before others do, they can get a sense of the people they deal with very quickly. They are creative, they are expressive, and they are often romantics. Do you think this describes you or someone you know?

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/highly-sensitive-people-signs-habits_n_4810794

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/what-its-like-highly-sensitive-person-hsp#1.-Being-an-HSP-affected-my-childhood

https://hsperson.com/

[ragequeen]

I hate being an HSP. It's ruined relationships or made them insanely difficult. We get hurt easily and we understand people better than they think and that gives us the advantage of knowing motives. We pick up on everything and nothing gets past us and that makes us being unable to live peaceful lives. We get stressed when people confuse us or we don't have the emotional control over a situation. We set strict goals for ourselves because we are afraid to fail. Trust is a lot more difficult. Surprises or unexpected things make us stressed. We like to plan far ahead. We often know what is going to happen. We can come across as heartless and cold but we do so to protect our highly vulnerable selves. These are many reasons why being an HSP is a weakness.

[Ozanne]

Have you read any books about it to get some control over the times when you would feel more emotional? There are some good ones out there by Elaine Aron. I have a few that I page through now and then to remind myself of things I tend to forget when my emotions run high.

[Bee-Hatch]

Heard of it. But is this just medicalisation of something that's just a natural trait of some folk? Is HSP something that can be diagnosed by medical professionals, or just one of those things that folk decide they've got because they read something online?

[Ozanne]

Good question. It's not a disorder, disease, or condition, per se. It's very unique. It was something my doctor told me about a long time ago, without having the means to 'test' me or even diagnose me. I had some issues about something separate, and after listening to me describe my sensitivity about something, he was the one who told me that I have overly sensitive reactions to normal stimuli. I went home and did some reading about it, and found I identified with almost all of the examples. It's a nervous system personality trait.

[Curmudgeon]

"There is nothing wrong with being a Highly Sensitive Person."

Unfortunately, yes, there is. In a world of cruelty and trouble, getting easily overwhelmed by it all is a weakness.

"There are many advantages of being stimulated more than others. Those who are HSP usually identify danger before others do, they can get a sense of the people they deal with very quickly."

All of this is true, BUT if they are so sensitive that they get overwhelmed by it and cannot use it to their advantage, then what good it is for them?

[Ozanne]

Yes, these are good points.
"There is nothing wrong with being a Highly Sensitive Person." I wanted to let people know that they shouldn't feel bad about being HSP as many who don't understand it tend to label it as having infantile traits. But actually experiencing them in the world we have today - of course, it's a challenge, you're absolutely right.

"... what good it is for them?" Those who are HSP tend to be more creative, more understanding, better at spotting errors or finding danger, good at thinking about things very clearly (with that they make good friends and partners because their empathy and listening skills are quite good). They also have a knack for being artistic, and creating comfort for them and others.

[Curmudgeon]

Don't get me wrong, I am not knocking such people, to an extent I am (or was) one. But it was a weakness, believe me.

[Ozanne]

LOL! I know it's a weakness! It's always been regarded by those who aren't HSP, and even those who have it wish they weren't that way. I have to work harder to be stronger. :D

[cooldog980sw]

I didn't know what HSP or an empath was until about 2 months ago when my therapist identified me as an empath. I think they're basically the same thing. But i get majorly overwhelmed in crowds because I'm absorbing everyone else's emotions. It's nice when 1 on 1 but there are a lot of down sides to it when you don't have a handle on it

[Ozanne]

Yes! Oh my goodness I can relate! I never did like visits with people when it was more than one person. And in my house, I need the TV off and the lights dimmed low. I don't mind music, but it's meant to stimulate me, not really used as just background noise (because for me, there's no such thing as background noise).

I was social as a young girl and young woman, but looking back I have admitted to myself that I didn't really enjoy gatherings. I didn't like the noise, and didn't like the overwhelming feeling of too many people. I remember having boyfriends, where I'd beg them for a night in, and when they wanted to go out and party (taking me along), I'd ask them to at least give me a quiet night in next time. They could never understand that, so it never happened, and back then I didn't know I was HSP anyway.

Had I known a lot of that then, it would have explained a lot, and I could have defended my reasons for it better.

[cooldog980sw]

I was always trying to figure out why I was always so emotional and overwhelmed easily. The only thing my family could think was possible high functioning autism but HSP and empath made the most sense when I discovered it. I was always wondering why it was easy for me to listen to other people too. I thought I was weird for being a guy that was in touch with my emotions (and other's emotions).

[AutophileAngel]

I know I am one of them. From the first grade of school til 9th, I have been bullied constantly by my classmates for ‘being sensitive’ and a ‘crybaby’. I was 9 years old when I was told ‘it’s just a phase, you’ll get over it’, i have been told the same thing when i was 14, 16, and when I turned 18 they told me ‘you’re still young, you’re confused, you will grow out of your sensitivity’ like it was some piece of cloth to be grown out from. Now im 21 and this “phase” has not passed yet, and I have come to accept it. Feeling more can be a blessing and a curse, but I choose to see it as a blessing, I use my empathy to help people, even strangers. I love bringing smiles to people’s faces. I love art, music, literature more than anything, because I feel like I can connect to them easier than people. A lot of people have taken advantage of my personality, and the worst thing is that I cannot do anything about it since I empathise with them still, and I know it may seem naive, but the world is as bad as it is, i don’t want to add to the cruelty.

[RingOfFire]

Haven't read the comments yet, but my guess is that most or all people think they are "highly sensitive people." What's the alternative? Being highly insensitive? I don't think anyone thinks of themselves as insensitive. I'll read the comments after and see if I am right.

Reading that first list of traits, I certainly think I fall into the HSP category.

However, I think there is an important distinction that should be made here. There is highly sensitive and there is highly DEFENSIVE. Maybe the former is not so bad to be around. But the latter is a major headache. I can't stand being around people who take everything you say as an attack on THEM. They are such narcissists and terminally insecure. They think everything is about them and everyone is out to get them. There is no talking to them. And with today's woke "everyone is a victim because America is a racist, sexist, homophonic, xenophobic country" mentality, these little defensive narcissists are everywhere!

[flamiE]

I definitely identify with it I was also called highly sensitive a few times. Now I don’t think my senses are more acute as I don’t hear a lot of things lol but I definitely am very observant and this is probably my worst trait as a lot of times people just feel a certain type of way for no specific reason but I always try and look deeper into it just cause I don’t want to add to them feeling bad in any way and I don’t know why but I always think I’m the reason. Also, does over stressing about not saying something out of place count? Lol I think that’s part of it as I’m constantly worried i’d make a fool of myself. Being empathetic and caring is very me and I think those are pretty much the only advantages of being over sensitive. Most of us also love strongly which is a plus but it can be too much for some people. Aw and sensitive to touch. Yes. In any way. Okay I think I ticked off enough things to convince myself I definitely fall into the HSP category.

[Arivor]

Interesting... Do you also have an exaggerated startle reflex? Where the least unexpected thing will cause you to jump? I guess what I'm trying to ask is if it is a conditioned response or genetically based?

[courtney06]

Yea that happens to me. Sometimes I’m the only person who noticeably jumps. It’s really embarrassing.

[anon1903]

I have that reflex in my friend circle

[Ozanne]

It depends where my head is at I guess. If I'm in lala-land, of course. :)

[anon1903]

Tales of an absent minded person

[Kaneki05]

Yeah i know it. Seems annoying to have and tiring, would for sure see it as a bad thing. I already have many things in my head that make life hard nvm if that was added. So people with it kinda feel sorry for. Also like a lot of things i bet some snowflakes use this as an excuse. Tbf i am kinda highly sensitive to some stuff but it's very subjective for example i can smell blood pretty well, if someone around is bleeding i will know, and i can smell it through my skin sometimes super weird but humans are.

[Not_Average]

Seems like a useless label and study to describe weak people. Sometimes people just need to toughen up. Coddling to this type of behavior does people more harm than good. If you’re highly sensitive, then you should expose yourself to external stimuli that forces you to build emotional resilience. Becoming complacent with being weak shouldn’t be something we advocate for. I’d disagree with you that saying nothing is wrong with it. Overstimulation to basic life circumstances will lead to a lot of negative ramifications. If you cannot process emotions and life in a rational way, then you need to work on that.

[msc545]

People with HSP are *neurologically* different than people without it. Are you really going to call that "weakness"?

[msc545]

People who don't have HSP are generally intolerant of people who do, even though HSP is a neurological variant, and people are born with it, and cannot change it.

[Not_Average]

Hey how come you come on my opinions, insult me, and then don’t respond when I ask you why? I’ll be willing to take to you about this if you just respond to when I asked you why you insulted me out of no where because we disagreed. You’re not about to follow me around on this website and come at me on every opinion.

[Not_Average]

Again, you work in a psychology field, and call yourself a professional... yet you possess an inability to disagree with someone without refraining to personal insults and put-downs. Why is it that you cannot practice what you preach? I fail to see how that displays professionalism or emotional maturity. You disagree, so you attempt to put me down and make me feel as if I’m lesser. Why should I attempt to have a constructive conversation with someone who acts like this? You seem as if you’re someone who’s toxic and should be avoided based upon your behavior.

[Not_Average]

I acted the way you did when I was a teenager. I no longer deliberately go out of my way to insult others on a personal level merely because we have differences. 4 + 4 = 8, but so does 5 + 3. I recognize that we as human beings think and approach issues differently and I welcome others to challenge my thoughts because I might be able to learn something. I learned this through life, not a degree.
My credentials are in engineering, so why is that you act like this despite earning a psychology degree?

[msc545]

I am not trying to insult you, but you write interesting things that I sometimes disagree with.

[msc545]

You are being really defensive. Trust me, if I wanted to insult you I would do it in a way you could not mistake, but I am not trying to do that. I am simply trying to have a discussion. If you can't do that or don't want to you can always block me. In the interim, can you try to answer my question?

[Not_Average]

@msc545 Oh. I was referring to this. “ Perhaps you should consider changing your username here to below average as a more accurate reflection of your true nature” as quoted by you.

I don’t think I’m being overtly defensive at all. I think I’m responded in a rational way and I’m seeking an answer before we proceed forward. I choose not to deal with toxic people regardless of their status or psychological credentials. So why the personal insults when people disagree with you? You seem to be on my case of lacking sensitivity, but you dish it out in a really explosive hurtful way. What exactly do you stand for?

[Not_Average]

Because again, when I disagree with someone, I don’t attempt to make them feel lesser as a human being. You being the medical expert in psychology that you are, I’m quite puzzled. You also getting on my case for lacking sensitivity by calling particular behaviors weak is also a bit confusing given your behavior.

[msc545]

Uh, I didn't write "Perhaps you should consider changing your username here to below average as a more accurate reflection of your true nature” at all. Wrong guy.

[msc545]

I don't know who wrote that to you or where it is written (not on here), but I didn't do it.

[JakeS00]

I’m a sensitive person for sure, I can get affected easily. But the sensitivity I have isn’t so bad once you can cope with it and not let it invade all the time.

[Ozanne]

Yes, this is true when you live with it your whole life. After a while you learn to adapt.

[stuntbrain]

Huh🤔 when I tell people I experience more than their minds are even able to imagine, everybody calls me a pompous ass. This proves their cognitive shortcomings and overall inferiority

[Ozanne]

Exaaaaactly.

[Psychoanalytical]

A 100% me!

I would attribute or link it to my OCD, since it makes my thoughts more intense.

That's one reason I'm not an easy person to handle. I don't have much friendships as well, since I can get hurt fairly fast so I avoid emotional hurt by avoiding social bonds in general.

However, when I spot someone as sensitive as me, I try to seek their friendship, because I know they will understand, appreciate and respect my sensitivity.

[arineunha]

we should be friends

[Psychoanalytical]

@arineunha That would be great! I'm glad you found relevance in my experience and I hope you will encounter people who can meet the level of intellectual and emotional depth that matches your sensitivity.

[Elsa143]

That describes me so accurately. No wonder that I get MAD at partners when they change their behavior or they act fishy. I can detect lies. I'm very suspicious of others and their motives. I will definitely dig out what they're up to.
I am trying to become more insensitive because people aren't trustworthy.
Insensitive so that I won't fall in love quickly or get attached with some snake.

[SjE78]

two of my past girlfriend's were like this, my last girlfriend hated any form of criticism even if she asked for it, she would take it to heart and take offence to whatever is said even though it was not actually anything bad... the ex wife was even worse, she would claim we had a blazing argument even when all that happened was we just simply disagreed, no raised voices or anything bad but she would make out i was yelling and such... even though that was never the case...

[Ally247]

A life coach I used to meet with told me I was a HSP, and while I can see myself identifying I think the term is overused and people just see one or two traits and decide they are one, because of that I think a lot of terms people use now are ridiculous and I no longer care for them.

[girlzruleboyzdrool]

I'm only part of that. I puck up on other people's feelings, by feeling them
So therefore, very empathetic.

I also have an extremely high intuition Nd know things

And I dont even kill bugs or any creature because I can feel them too.

I love being with other people

I am highly sensitive to pain and am very intune with my body

I'm intune with the other world too except I don't like it

[TessCasie]

Yup I’m living with one right now. He has become like this cause his mom would get beaten up while pregnant by with him. He relates to it all of the options you mentioned. Poor guy feel sorry for him. No wonder when I am near him I can’t exhibit anger even the slightest subtle he can sense it and responds harshly.

[knottywriter]

I've always been more sensitive to things than "normal" people around me. It's always nice knowing you aren't alone. Typically just learn to adapt to it in whatever situation life brings.

[Anonymous]

I’m well aware of it, I am a HSP and I think for men it’s even tougher as some people think we’re gay. Nothing wrong with being gay, but it’s unrelated, my sexual orientation has nothing to do with my level of sensitivity.

[Ozanne]

If a woman has it, she's being too emotional or hysterical. So it only makes sense if a guy has it people have to call him names and be completely ignorant of what is going on. That's why I wrote this, so that people can clue in, and hopefully knock their shit off.

[LifeIsExodus]

Hey. I love the post.
Dont u love it when you're tired of being super sensitive and when u let go of things you just drop down to what normal people feel like ALL THE TIME?
That's awesome.

[Ozanne]

Sometimes I wondered why others felt some things were so dulled down. I'd taste some food and find it delicious, tasting all the flavours. And someone else would say, "Meh, it's good I guess." I'd hear a dog barking a mile away, and say "Did you hear that dog?" Most people: "No. What dog?" I'd be thinking, why is everyone just so not in-tune with everything?

[OddBeMe]

I’m an HSP but repress it so much my family think I’m robotic sometimes.

[Ozanne]

YES. I have done the same thing. I have learned to turn off so many things when all I ever wanted to do was burst with emotions about it. But holding it back has almost made things seem more the other way around. One of my past jobs required me to not get so wrapped up and involved with feelings - so it was around that time I had to shut it off and shut off completely. The feelings were all still there, just held down, if that makes sense.

[OddBeMe]

I’ve learned to vent emotions privately. Watching animal videos, etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m all of those and just recently learned that term :p I’m cry lot, stress easy when observed, and get overwhelmed. I feel that I read voice tones well and it also affect my mood afterwards ( not always a good thing if you have to be supportive to someone). I like being alone after socializing and absolutely dislike loud noise. I feel music and reading novels help me relax

[Opinion Owner]

I feel things deeply and detach to avoid getting hurt sometimes. I think I felt a tiny earthquake back in grade 7, but teacher and classmates said it was nothing, but next day found out there was an earth quake

[Hangry22]

First time hearing it but i am not sure if i am just sensitive or a HSP. All the traits ont he list matched me except i like violent movies. Also my clit is painful to touch or rub so i don't use it at all. So probably not

[Ozanne]

I do not have all of those traits either. You don't need to match all the criteria, but if it's most of them, you will know if you are or not. Also, they way people react to their heightened senses are going to be different from person to person. But if you are affected by them, more so than others, and you have many of the traits - you just may be. But I don't want to put ideas in your head, if you don't think you are and think maybe you just have a few traits and don't feel so much of many others, then you probably are not HSP.

[Hangry22]

I do feel bad for others. Something bad be it pets or humans as in animal abuse or any act of humans where they see other humans as just animals. I can't describe it correctly
If one of my friends is sad, that would affect me and i won't be able to be happy. Lots of such stuff around the world that bothers me and gets me depressed. I feel to cry the moment i hear a dog crying and it will affect my work for some time. Anything like that where people or animals walking around randomly gets me sad and thinking. It's weird
But i don't care about assholes and jerks getting punished or being sad so I don't know

[Ozanne]

"But i don't care about assholes and jerks getting punished or being sad"
Me either. LOL