Why many Christians don't go to church

This morning, I type while my family is at my old church. Why I'm not with them I'll elaborate.

Believe it or not, during high school, I feel I was most bullied and gossiped about within my (gasp) church's youth ministry. It had all the substances of high school: the cliques, the chatter, the dating drama. But it was at a worse degree since it was a big youth group, but yet small enough for the effect of that behavior.

It got to the point where I was dragging myself, kicking & screaming, every Sunday to youth group in high school, no longer focused on the message, but to prove to my high school enemy (who was also my "sister in Christ") that I wasn't weak enough to let her reap me out of my own youth group. It got to the point where I didn't feel any love from these people, as everyone seemed to be ripped to shreds.

A few years later, after moving back home, I met Jordan, my brother's friend. He's your typical "Christian boy": administers communion, attends Christian college, is wanting to be a youth pastor. However, after hooking up a few times, I became enamored with him. However, it got to the point where the air was cleared. He had gone through my brother to tell me that he wanted nothing more than sex. I was heartbroken, but quickly got over it. A month later, he was sleeping over with my brother, and specified that he didn't want me hanging out with them this time. I adhered to this, and went to spend time with my best friend & her family for a bit. Coming home, I laid down, and got a text from him asking to come up to see me. He came in my room drunk in his boxers, and needless to say, it led to sex. He wanted it, so I did it. Right after we were done, he said "I think you need to get some sleep" and left. What angered my brother was that he wanted to hang with him, yet sneaked up to get with me.

Back on topic...I'm not sure if I want to worship with people who allegedly share the same God as me, but fail to emulate it. In the Bible, St. Paul doesn't require Christians to congregate in large numbers, but simply recommends it, as he doesn't require it but recommends staying single. I imagine if he were to see the activity going on in churches like the one I used to go to, he'd be disgusted and without surprise as to why I choose to stay at home on Sundays now.

Going to a steepled building every Sunday doesn't constitute living as a Christian. My own brother isn't even a Christian, but still goes for the social aspects of it. Reciprocally, I don't feel that not going to church constitutes someone not to be a Christian. We all have our own relationships with God. I will admit that reading my Bible would be beneficial, especially the New Testament, which has a lot of spiritual material in itself not limited to just Christianity (as it is cited in other religions such as Islam, Buddhism, and Hinduism, where Jesus is held as a prophet or another god).

I even see a lot of self-claimed Christians who tend to use the Bible in an ad hominem manner toward others on here, and a validation for intolerance. Condemnation of homosexuality, sexuality in general, and exclusion of other religions from God's harmony. As quoted by Shakespeare, "even the Devil can quote Scripture to his advantage."

Christians on G@G, I'd love to get your opinion on this. Non-Christians are welcome to comment as well.

Just some food for thought.

Why many Christians don't go to church


Most Helpful Guy

  • I believe in God, as well. I don't believe in labeling myself Christian, because I believe that was man-made. Man has made the Christian "religion", along with the laws of the land. Man has over time, in my opinion, twisted things found in the Bible to suit themselves. That being said, I believe what you see today is the result of that. Yes, so-called Christians are considered false prophets/hypocrites. You will find that in the Bible - I did. Every church has them, including the one I was grown up in. Just because people do bad things, doesn't mean God doesn't love them. People should read the Bible, and not be superficial. Those that go to church for social reasons and not for the divine true relationship with Him are the ones in trouble. They need prayer just like anyone else who needs His help. If your son cheated on a test, you would punish him but does that mean you can't love him? Same applies here. God doesn't like us doing bad things, but He still loves us. He gives us free will, even us doing bad things. I think we have enough intelligence these days to tell the difference.

    • Yes-sex outside of marriage was invented to prevent bastards, and so the Catholic Church could make money off of people's blasphemous lust through indulgences.

    • Show All
    • Basically, if you sinned, you had to do something to make up for it and erase the sin (most famous example being saying "hail mary"s) . However, something that priests started doing somewhat aggressively in the middle ages was requiring people to pay for indulgences for their sins. Basically, to get their sins forgiven so they could go to heaven, people had to pay money to the church. So if people sinned more, the church made more money. (And actually, this corruption was a major causal factor of the protestant reformation).

    • Yeah, I think their goal was for people to stop sinning. Then, it made the church sin.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I love this and it's so true. I also had similar experiences. When I was younger, my family went to a church that was just horrible. It seemed like everyone in this church was just so "clique-y" and stuck-up, I hated it so much. Every single Sunday I would go and no one there would talk to me, I felt excluded, and not welcome. Eventually, it got to the point where I just dreaded going and so my family withdrew our membership and switched to a different church.

    The difference is night and day. I absolutely LOVE my current church and have been attending it for about six years now. The people are so welcoming, they take the time to talk to everyone and make everyone feel included and wanted. And THAT is how Christians should be. The way the people at my old church behaved wasn't right and that is exactly why so many people are turned off from the religion in general. A lot of so-called Christians just have this superior and horrible attitude and people see that and think all Christians are like that. It's really sad.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Gonna sound cliche, we are not perfect. We make mistakes. But there is a difference between an honest mistake... and just pure... well, evil, which that guy you explained about was.

    Since I am catholic, I adhere to the teachings of the Church, and try to life my life as faithful as possible. Do I make mistakes? Yes. Do I have thoughts of lust, sex, desires? Yes. Have I violated all of the 10 commandments? Been doing that for the past 22 years of my life

    I remember going to the Vatican when I studied abroad, and I went to one of the confessionals. Long story short I broke into tears because I had been carrying a lot on my shoulders and didn't really talk to anyone about it, for fear of judgment. All the priest said was "you are going to sin, you are going to make mistakes. The best is to minimize it, keep it controlled and contained."

    Hope that makes sense. Basically if you're conscience is clean, you're probably doing something right, but just because you try to adhear yourself to a teaching, religion etc, does not make you superior. In the end, God judges us for our actions, not anyone on this planet

  • I never took church seriously. When I was a kid I'd wander the halls pretending i was in a space ship, or bring small toys to play with during services, or draw stuff. Almost always refused to go to Sunday school and stayed with the adults. It was just something I had to and listen to people pretend to know things they dont know. Man I've been to sooo many churches as i've moved around several times, and always went to my moms friends other churches. The trends run among them all.

    It is however useful for conducting psychology experiments, I've learned as much about psychology from church as I have about christianity. I haven't been to church in probably 10 years, and am kinda wanting to go back, to do psychology experiments of course. lol

  • This was very well written, and I agree with you whole-heartedly. The Church today has fallen far from the graces it began in. I try my best to attend Sunday services but I sometimes just cannot bring myself to go.


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