Why do I always lose fights and get beaten?

Question

I want to be a tough guy. I want to look confident when I m with girls. I want them to feel secure when they r with me. but I m just the opposite. I have the anger but my hands n feet gets cold n weak when I start arguing with guys. I have been involved in 4 or 5 fights n most of the time I've got beaten up. I want to hit first but I can't do it as a result I will be the first one to receive it n as I receive the first blow I get down on the ground n get punched n kicked until someone intervenes. I have had my nose bled n eyes cut in most of the cases. it's so embarrassing. I feel like a pussy. Am i a pussy for always getting beaten up? what should I do?

AdamThomas · Accepted Answer

Do you train in boxing/muay thai/mma/krav maga? If not, do that. Learning how to hit hard is the most important thing.

As for not being able to throw the first punch, that's normal. When it's getting heated your body produces the "fight or flight" response and pumps you full of adrenaline. You'll probably feel weaker and start shaking a bit, and usually people mistake this for fear, but it's just the affects of adrenaline. Adrenaline makes you faster, stronger, and it numbs pain. It happens because back in caveman times there was a lot of danger from predators, the animals our ancestors hunted for food, or rival tribes. It's a performance enhancer. We feel the affects of it more today, and we become confused by the effects because there's little danger nowadays.

I used to be the same until I started boxing with some guys I knew. We'd do a lot of sparring, and they were twice my size so they'd beat the shit out of me twice a week every week at first, until I started getting better and better. When you do it every week it's no big deal, you don't get scared or intimidated by anybody. Just like I said, the reason you feel so nervous is because you don't face violence very often.

JSmith925 · Accepted Answer

You need Kung Fu. It teaches you how to avoid confrontation and how to be effective when you have no choice. It is utterly brutal. Unlike many other martial arts, it is no sport. Rooted in the military, Kung Fu still contains throat, eye, groin, joint and nerve strikes. The particular type I study is called Kuntao Silat and comes from China and Indonesia. I have practiced for thirty years, training at various times with students of Willem Reeders. You can find wiki articles on Kuntao Silat and Master Reeders, who also went by the name Liu Seong.

HyperOrphic · Accepted Answer

I am going to be hon est here: being able to win a physical fight doesn't make us automatically feel safer with you, especially if you throw the punch first. It actually shows us that you're more likely to provoke DANGER and that you have a potentially violent attitude. Mind you, yes, there are some women into super aggressive guys, but seeing as you're not, there's a better way to handle it.

What is more sexy is a guy who can use his words and his aura to make people back off - and if they don't, has enough pride to take his girl's hand and lead her to a safer more comfortable place. It shows you have a solid enough masculinity to tell someone who's bothering you to stop, but are wise enough to consider the safety of your girl first by not putting you or her in a situation where someone could get hurt.

I hope this helps, good luck.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You need to learn some good choke-hold and Grappling techniques. It is possible to put someone in a hold so if they move, then their arm or leg will break. This way they' ll realise they can't beat you. It doesn't even matter if they are bigger and stronger than you, because with skilled techniques you' ll be able to overpower a guy with only two moves. You then have to choices either, hold him until he backs down or beat the fuck out of him as you have him in a hold.

Lollylou2015 · Accepted Answer

Personally, If I were with a guy and he was fighting I'd feel rather embarrassed at how childish he is. you'll be more of a man if you act maturely and don't get involved. But if you are in a situation that you can't walk out of then of course defend yourself but don't get too carried away. Women will respect you more in that way. I'm sure they'll prefer a gentleman rather than a hard man with an inflamed ego. If that makes sense.

Brian-Brain · Answer

I am good with fighting. I never lost a fight. And it is unlikely I lose a fight if my opponent is not a trained fighter. But I suck at getting girls.

Here's what i am trying to say. Your ability to fight has no effect on how many girls you can get. And if you manage to get a girl through fighting it is not a girl you want to be with

Don't start fighting to get girls. In fact don't fight at all. It's barbaric. I said before I am good at fighting but if there is any chance i can walk away from a fight I will take that chance even when I know I can easily beat my opponent.

I'll bet most girls like guys that show restraint, that are kind and can rely on their intelligence instead of there fighting skills. Please stop this.

Why don't you work on yourself from the inside out. That's where true strength comes from.

tayoker · Answer

You have to know that fighting is not a sign of confidence, your personality decides that, well with fighting you can build some confidence. .. but to make another fights, not to improve your actual value... i remember when i was a kid and i was badly proud of my self when i kick someone's ass, but now i see it as a pointless type of thinking, i see it as a less confidence behaviour, well it's nice to not get beaten up, but i wouldn't start a fight with someone wants to from the first place, well train sometimes, get some meat, go to gym, motivate your self.. and the most important you have to know who you really are, and then improve, everyone can do the best they can, but they have to know how to do it in their own way... don't think fights will improve your confidence. . no it's going to improve your arrogance. .. wish to get stronger, but i would recommend you to use it to defend your self onle..

Anpu23 · Answer

Fighting is a skill, it's not something that you can just do. It's not as easy as just throwing a punch, there's much more to it than that. If you haven't studied combat and have only been in a few fights then it's not surprising that you find yourself in that situation.
The real trick to fighting study is to not have to fight, and when you choose to its not out of fear or anger. (if your mad you've already lost). To be relaxed and calm.

chrisbigman · Answer

Are you actually trying to be in fights or do they come to you? It seems like you are trying to fight people which is real stupid, since you or the other idiot could die. I prefer not fighting. I prefer fun and happiness, not stupid crap like fights. And people are smart enough to know not to mess with me, due to my large frame.

chercheur · Answer

You're a pussy for thinking it's manly to engage in fist fights, not because you get beaten up. Do you seriously think that impresses a woman?

Remonster · Answer

Your confusing toughness with the ability to be confident around girls. There is really no need.  But if you wanna get tough pick a martial arts and dedicate yourself to it!

Klaatu51 · Answer

oh well... maybe hit da gym bro... and workout like a maniac 8)

FallenAngel92 · Answer

Don't start shit, but don't allow people to walk all over you either.

Gamergirlpunk13 · Answer

Honestly? You don't need to get into fights for a girl to like you, and in fact doing so just to impress a girl is gonna turn them off every time. Just be yourself and trust your gut.

phanindra554plus · Answer

Violence is not a good option.

BertMacklinFBI · Answer

learn how to fight

Why do I always lose fights and get beaten?

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