He won't let me look through his phone.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend always takes my phone and looks at my contacts and stuff. I know he texts girls,and some of them like him but when I want to look at his phone or just take it he always takes it back. I'm pretty sure he's not cheating.

but why would he not want me to look at it?

Updates

+1 y

Well I don't think its not a control thing. But he thinks its funny that he takes my phone and looks at my pictures and stuff. But I don't have anything to hide so I really don't care if he looks at it

[PilatesGuy]

The point is, why would he want to look at your phone and why would you want to look at his.

Sounds like there's no real trust in your relationship dude, and if that's the case then you're in for a pretty crappy ride.

Also, he sounds like a control freak if he thinks he has the right to take your phone and look through it whenever he likes, and you sound like a doormat if you let him.

Sounds to me like you guys are at the beginning of an ugly, rocky road together. Maybe have a look at the articles page on this site and read some of the dating and realtionship stuff. There's a lot there about controlling relationships and you two sound like you're in a battle for dominance which he is winning at the moment.

Looking through your partners phone and checking their messages is NOT normal behavior between people that love and trust one another.

[Asker]

Well I don't think its not a control thing. But he thinks its funny that he takes my phone and looks at my pictures and stuff. But I don't have anything to hide so I really don't care if he looks at it

[aly-marie]

I would be skeptical about his intentions even though you don't think he's cheating. He still may be doing something he doesn't want you to know about.

My response would be different if neither of you looked at each others' phones, but this situation seems unfair. He wants his privacy but doesn't let you have yours (I know you don't have anything to hide, but that's not the point). I wouldn't let him look at my phone if he didn't let me look at his. And he'd have no right to get upset about it.

I don't know anything about his reasons. How does he react if you try to take his phone? Is it just because he's a private person? You know him best. I just think the privacy level should be equal and you should both communicate and set boundaries.

[Asker]

He doesn't get mad he just says " ah noooo gimme my phone" I asked him why he won't let me look at his phone and all he says is "cus you don't need to see what's in it" or " you shouldnt be seeing what's in it" we are both 16 and I don't know if its just a privacy thing or he has texts from girls that maybe he flirts with. Should I ask him about it agian? and then just tell him that I think he's doing stuff behind my back? or what.

[aly-marie]

I would probably just leave it alone for now, maybe stop letting him see your phone too so he knows how it feels. Maybe he just wants his privacy. I wouldn't be too worried about it unless he's constantly texting and not telling you who he's talking to, or not ever letting you see.. or leaving the room to take calls. Things like that.

[Anonymous]

Next time he takes your phone, snatch it back.