How can they appear less intimidating or more approachable?
What is a good way for them to approach you?
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Do tall guys intimidate you in general or even ones you might like?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Dude I had the same problem as you! It's not the height! It's maybe your experience and "skills" with women. I hate to say skills because it sounds like a game or a psychological manipulation of women. In reality "skills" is just what normal human males 'should' act like to attract women. It comes naturally IF you are a man who is for example... well dressed and groomed, socially confident, have goals and dreams and works hard, takes pride in his self and his life... blah blah blah all that crap right. So you can find plenty of videos and articles detailing how to play the 'game' without improving yourself, and that in my mind is kind of a manipulation but w/e.
So I was having the exact same feelings as you up until pretty recently I even asked about it on here just like you. Basically I had been upgrading myself. My style, my life, my confidence, and with that I went from being a 'nice guy' with shitty social skills and women skills to a more confident person. So I was talking better with girls but I still hadn't figured it all out. Girls were interested to a point but also kind of creeped out because I was still a little off.
Now I'm doing way better. The better I get, the less I feel like girls are intimidated by my size. Before girls would shake and tremble and quiver when I talked to them. I felt like they thought I was going to rape them or something. Now I talk to girls and it's all good. I guess they really did think I was gonna rape them, but not cuz I was big, but because I wasn't 100% normal, and women fear strange men cuz strange men evolutionarily are outcasts and thus they rape women to pass on their seed which otherwise they couldn't. Women evolved a defense mechanism in the form of fear of men who aren't "normal."
So upgrade yourself! Work on yourself and your life. Be a better person not just cuz you're a nice dude who is respectful of people, but because you're a hard worker who cares about himself and is interesting in his own way and all the lady skills will come naturally with it. But I suppose it wouldn't hurt to learn some tricks too. Sometimes it's nice to identify what's going on.
well my house dean is 6ft 6 so I kinda have to accept people being taller than me but my friends who are taller are dicks about me being like a inch shorter (i used to be same height as everyone but you know puberty order says fuck you)
My sister is, she says its just too big for her she wouldn't know what to do with that; Her boyfriend is shorter and more skinny, she prefers that; I however prefer it, id climbe that like a tree lol, cause I have a extreme need to feel safe and protected, so I prefer someone who looks intimidating to others... Id say our preference is mostly from difference in out character
You know, they actually don't, I've never come across someone who made me feel intimidated due to their height. I've felt intimidating because they'd give me dirty looks, or look my body up and down but not because of their height. If anything I feel really tall people are very careful around me, both physically and when conversing to not make me feel small
They don't box me in when standing, or walk ahead of me with their crazy long legs 😛 They're very careful to move around me when I do, they don't talk over the top of me - not in the rude sense but just in general conversation when everyone jabbers over each other. I've literally never met someone really tall (like over 6'3) who does those things around me
Maybe... particularly if you're trying to fit into the "nice guy" box? Like are you a people-pleaser? Are you too flexible so it seems like your time isn't valuable? Do you adopt the qualities of the women or men they seem interested in, to seem more likable instead of letting your own attributes shine through?
I naturally want to he'll people. So yes I am a people pleaser. Yes, way too flexible. I don't think adopt other people's qualities. I try to be me but hid things about me to see more mature.
Have you seen any of Matthew Hussey's videos on dating? I know they're marketed at women now but his explanations on knowing your value and how to communicate that while still being desirable are really helpful
It's good to feel like you're doing something for others, but it's important not to lose your own needs in that or become too available so you're taken advantage of
Well you poor tall guy, maybe where you're from women are intimidated or where you tend to hang out, come to the Caribbean no one here gets intimidated easily 🤣
I think I actually have a few family members and friends around that height. 😄 I'm only 5'' lol but have someone that is around 6". Don't worry too much. : ) If your pretty open and cool with people it should be fine.
No or maybe yes, I like to approach shy guys but I don't like anything more than friendship with them. So If I approach a guy It means he just looks approachable and I have friendly intentions with him. Must not be what you want. I like being approached by men.
Lol i feel small too but i have my own insecurities that contribute. For now just keep talking to them, girls love guys taller than them. I know i do esp hugging them, getting to know them in the beginning is always the hard part
Then keep calm, i noticed that if I'm nervous others become it and vice versa. It's contagious and some people avoid interacting with others because of it.
There's always gonna be nervous moments though so push through it
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