My girlfriend lost her virginity to someone else and she keeps saying sorry, is it worth another chance?

[DustinMJ]

We were both virgin (I'm still am while she isn't anymore) and it was her idea to wait. So we waited for 2 years.

Then two weeks ago she went on a party, got drunk with her friends and cheated with a random guy, losing her virginity in the process. It was painful for her. She confessed it to me the following day, regretting it. Not sure how to process this.

My question of ''how was she able to give it away just like that to a complete stranger and not me (not even when we were once both drunk, she still would said ''I'm not ready yet'') still has no answer. While still loving her, I can't help it but feel something forever got tainted. I can't stop playing the mind movies of what happened and now I'm the one that doesn't want sex.

Updates

+1 y

I'm still wondering how was a complete stranger able to get it just like that while I've waited 2 whole damn years.

[rjroy3]

I wouldn't be able to give her a second chance and honestly. You shouldn't give her one. You need to leave her. This is something you need to do for yourself as a man. Giving her a second chance here would only make her lose more respect for you and you would lose respect for yourself. Because she outright betrayed you. If you don't put your foot down she knows that no matter what she does it doesn't matter, because you'll take her back anyways. She can disrespect you as a man, because you'll take her back. She can cheat on you, because you'll take her back. She can do x, y or z bad thing and it doesn't matter. Because you'll take her back anyways. She may not logically think about it that way. But if you take her back after this, then that's what she will emotionally understand.

This is something you have to break up with her over. End of story. She needs to feel the weight of what she did and she needs to know that you will walk away. The only way to do that is walk away. Maybe a year from now you can try again if that's something you want, but you definitely need to dump this girl.

[DustinMJ]

I dumped her today. I couldn't take it anymore. I'm now suspecting that she might not have even been physically attracted to me at all and she used me these 2 years I waited.

[rjroy3]

@DustinMJ

I wish you the best with moving on brotha man. I know it can be hard to go through something like this. As silly as it sounds, I'm proud of you. Coming from a stranger lol.

Don't let this make you jaded or harden your heart. A girl wouldn't stay with you for 2 years if she wasn't also getting something out of it as well. She wasn't just using you. She probably loved you. The relationship was just broken. Girls don't cheat on you merely because of physical attraction. She didn't cheat on you to hurt you. She cheated for herself. Not that it makes it any better. Just pointing out that her cheating isn't about you specifically. She didn't cheat because of something that superficial.

[Alessus]

Doesn't matter that she was drunk or that she regrets it in my opinion, by acting like she did she has shown both a lack of loyalty to your relationship and a lack of moral backbone in general. Even if you were willing to look over her cheating for now, can you say it wouldn't bother you? Because unless you can get over it quickly and forgive her, I think it's going to end up bothering you more and more as time passes and you'll only cause yourself undue suffering. So my advice is break up and find someone else. She made her choice and now has to live with it's consequences.

[DustinMJ]

I don't think I'll ever get over it. She gave away something precious that it was suppose to be shared with me.

[vulpesinculta]

Ultimately it's your life and your decision but I'd really say no. There's no excuse for cheating, especially if you were both waiting to keep it as something special. If she's willing to cheat on you when drunk once, what says she won't just do it again?

It might break your heart to end it but that's really not the kind of person you want to tie yourself to.

[DustinMJ]

What kills me more is we were once drunk and she still said she wasn't ready but she gave it away with a total stranger, just like that. Then she keeps saying sorry, that it meant nothing with him, etc.

It's not usual at all for a girl to just give it away easily. So now I'm thinking if I've been waiting all this time for a different reason she has such as me not being good enough for her from the start.

[DustinMJ]

from

[vulpesinculta]

Yeah, if she gave it away without a second thought to a stranger then I can't believe virginity ever meant much to her to begin with and she definitely had some other issue somewhere.

Everyone makes drunken mistakes and stuff but I don't think you can be drunk enough to forget the existence of a whole two year relationship where you and your partner have been waiting for each other for your first times.

Sorry man, seems an absolutely sucky situation and I'm sorry your girl would do that to you.

[DustinMJ]

Just broke up today. Still sad but I mainly feel like a total loser. My time was wasted.

[vulpesinculta]

Sorry man, you'll find the girl for you one day and she won't be a cheater.

[btbc92]

It is your choice to stay or go. She should have never went to that party or be going to such parties anyway. She knew what the situation was going to be when she got drunk. The thing is both of you could have got married, but at the same time, she made her bed. And her friends are equal to blame as well knowing that she is with you.

[DustinMJ]

Just dumped her today. I'm moving on. I can't get over those mind movies I'm having of her and the other guy and how it must have been like, all of them gross images.

[btbc92]

Then it is for the best. No use pretending.

[estoydorado1]

She's a liar and she's been playing you. She pushed you to wait and then slept with the next guy she was attracted to. I wouldn't even be surprised if this wasn't the first time. Sorry she leeched 2 years of your life from you. I'd just let the relationship drop if I were you. This was really shady and cruel of her.

[Robertsean350]

Agreed. It was a shitty thing to do. She doesn't deserve a second chance. Maybe return the favor and see how she feels.

[estoydorado1]

@Robertsean350 Wow, I'm super late but no don't do tit for tat. Don't feed into her b. s. any more than necessary. All cheating out of revenge will do is make you as culpable for the downfall of your relationship as she is and it'll show the world and your girlfriend that she still has influence over you. Just drop her and start focusing on healing and moving forward. Trying to get even with her will only draw out your pain, anger, and the drama.

[DustinMJ]

Just dumped her today. She can be with the other guy for all I care. I'm guessing by now that maybe she wasn't physically/sexually attracted to me. Otherwise why would she give it away like that to a stranger?
I feel like a loser.

[estoydorado1]

@DustinMJ Yeah, it's really suspicious that she made this huge deal of waiting with you for 2 years and then 1 night she just hooked up with a stranger. You're not a loser. You didn't fall for her apologies and you cut ties with her. I'm sorry you lost all of that time but good on you for taking back your life.

[dinecify]

Yoh, that's bad. It's entirely up to you though. Will u truelly forgive her? What happens when u finally have sex? Will you hold this against her? If u can live with it, give her a chance

[DustinMJ]

No, I just broke up today. That was suppose to be our special moment together. Instead all I see now is tainted mind movies of her and the other guy. I feel like a total loser.

[dinecify]

You are not a loser. You are just human. All the best in ur healing process. It sucks right now but in time you'll get better

[oriontheking]

Dump her now. You waited 2 years for nothing. She will just cheat on you the next time she's drunk at a party, anyway. You can't turn a whore into a housewife, and what she did was definitely whorish/slutty, so just dump her and cut off all contact with her.

[DustinMJ]

Yes, that upsets me the most. She made me wait 2 years (she still said no to me once when we were both drunk) and she gave it over as if it meant nothing to a total stranger.

[DustinMJ]

Usually a girl doesn't just give away her virginity like that. I'm starting to think that I was never good enough during that whole time I waited. Otherwise, I don't think she would have given it away easily.

[oriontheking]

I guess she views you as a nice guy that's the type she wants to marry, but not have wild casual sex with.

Just like some guys view certain girls as sluts to have sex with and other girls as marriage material, girls view certain alpha males as prime candidates for no strings attached sex, and other, more beta male guys as providers that they want to settle down with once they've spent a decade or so having sex with the alphas, and once their looks are starting to fade. They always act prim and proper around the beta providers, as if their vaginas are made of gold and diamonds, and withhold sex from the betas in order to make them earn it. They will spread their legs for any alpha, but a beta has to put a ring on their finger if they want sex.

[DustinMJ]

I just dumped her now. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I would always be wondering if the other guy was better and that killed me. Along with what she did.

[oriontheking]

Yeah, I can understand that. I don't know you or her, and even you yourself may never know for sure and may always wonder "what if I never dumped her", but you probably made the right decision.

[TruthOfCoral]

dude honestly I think she's lying to you and previously lost it to another guy but is trying to use the party as a cover up or she previously cheated on you and basically now had the guts to tell you, if you really mattered to her she wouldn't have cheated cause even when drunk you still have a choice and you would only do something if you really wanted to do it. best to just dump her because she clearly can't stay loyal and cheating can never be forgiven.

[Bndei]

I think it is to your advantage. You have leverage, this with will help you. Most people your age focus solely on their girlfriend. You on the other hand you have an opportunity to have more.
Date her for a while then tell her you want more exposure. She will have to understand because she is the one who made the mistake in the first place. women are naturally more monogamous. You will find you have more influence on a lot more people. Thus, you can advance your virginity agender as many times as you want until you get tired and settle down later on in life. It does not have to be with her. She kind of left you for someone else. She can't propose to you.
Having a girlfriends is more than just falling in love. There is a practical aspect to it.

[casscade]

Listen, man I don't know either of you so I cannot provide an accurate answer, but if I were you I'd give her a second chance , mainly because I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to break up with someone also if she admitted it to you the day after, that says more about her character than cheating on you does.

[IcoHollen]

Dustin that's my biggest fear mate I fear that with all my heart I would just simply let her go and move on even if is painful get another girl wanting you to be her first

[giandy13b]

Yea what all the men are saying is true, don't disrespect yourself by keeping her, it's always going to bother you and will be a bad wound in the relationship.

How dare she do such a thing, you need to protect yourself and walk like a man.

[Mayank0458]

Just Break up with Her , But it was Nice Of u that u Waited for Her , But its Time to move on , She Made Her decision , Now its Your Turn To make your decision 👍

[Tony_1693]

Oh fuck that bro. Leave her.. She made you wait two years and then pulls that? Nah man.

[DustinMJ]

Breaking it sometime today. I guess I wasn't thinking too straight when she confessed. She has called again to say she regrets it, that it meant nothing with the other guy and that I'm her world still.
She was my first relationship, first date ever. I'm going to dump her still, even though I'm hurting at this moment.

[Tony_1693]

It sucks dude.. it will take some time. I've been through it myself.

[DustinMJ]

I dumped her today.

[Tony_1693]

Good shit. How are you feeling?

[EvangelTepes]

Because she only looks to you for emotional comfort. Congrats! You're deeeeeeeep in the friend zone. 10/10 recommend breaking up, especially since you're still with her so she already knows she could get away with doing it again.

[mykered623]

I am sorry man. I've been there it sucks. I left when that happen. You're just lucky it wasn't with someone you knew

[thedancingcookie20]

She still had drunk sex with a random but not even you? Unacceptable. Red flag. Not worth

[DustinMJ]

I just dumped her today earlier. I couldn't deal with what she did. I don't think it's fair that I waited for her and she did that. Plus, I would have kept wondering if the other guy was better, if I was always not good enough, if she was never physically attracted to me at all.

[thedancingcookie20]

Good for you. You deserve better

[false]

you'll have to decide if its worth a chance or not for yourself but keep in mind that if you decide to stay, youve got to accept and expect that this WILL happen again.
hope you'll do the right thing 😃

[agirl537]

I would leave her ASAP, she made her choices, and now its time you make yours

[Anonymous]

Are you two sexual in other ways?

You should probably break up regardless, but it might help understand what happened.

[DustinMJ]

She didn't even wanted oral back then, just getting fingered and making out. I just dumped her today. I'm feeling like a total loser for waiting these 2 years. I'm now thinking she wasn't even physicaly attracted to me.

[DustinMJ]

physically

[Opinion Owner]

Look on the bright side.

You might have married her.

[Peopleschamp]

Ask yourself this, do you want her to pull this same stunt again? Don't give her the chance.

[LeeKenz]

I would leave her because she cheated on you. End of story.

[Nelsoen]

Leave her before it's too late. She's not worth your ego dude

[Vipera]

Fuck her and then leave her. Move out and look out for more options in your life.

[iDeathLord]

Break Up.. she cheated on u and she is a liar.. sorry for these painful words 💙👍

[HoneyBunny1997]

Break up with her, if she did it once she will do it again. 😤