Is it a deal breaker to be 25 and still live with your parents?

I’m a 25 year old girl. I have a degree. I have a good paying job. I’m very independent. I just still happen to live with my mom. Is that something that guys consider a deal breaker?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • You went to college. It's almost a given you'll live with your parents for a while. You don't just graduate, get the top pay grade of your field and have all your loans paid off. It's not a turn off unless you have no desire to get out of that situation within the next 3-5 years

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    • I actually got a job that pays higher than my mom and she has her own degree and great paying job. It’s just temporary because I’m saving and currently applying to medical schools.

  • No, it's fine. At least in California (and I know many other places), housing costs went way up after the recession started to ease, and few people can afford to live alone anymore. A friend of mine had been renting a 2-bedroom apartment (800 sq feet) for $2000/month, and they raised her rent to $2400/month, and then to $2600. She ended up moving into an "inlaw unit", which is basically a small studio apartment, as she couldn't afford that rent.

    I just worked on a 2-car garage that was converted into an upscale studio apartment in Oakland - and not in the nice areas in the hills, but in the run-down (but quickly gentrifying) area near downtown. That studio is renting for $3000/month, and the guy who moved in feels fortunate to live there. There were over 30 applications for that space.

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    • Yeah I worked in Cali my lot rent to park my camper was $1600 a month I don’t know how people do it

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    • how do you live in California and pay those taxes? That's what everyone I know always says about California. The taxes.

    • @pooper89 Wages are higher on average, but it also means a lot of young adults have to keep living with their parents for longer than perhaps used to be common - or maybe need 2 or 3 roommates to rent a house together.

Most Helpful Girls

  • The guy I’m seeing is 36 and lives with his grandma and it’s not a dealbreaker for me. I actually have more respect for him because of it. He moved in with her when he split with his last girlfriend to help her out because she was on her own but did not want to move into a nursing home and needed help.

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  • Not a deal breaker, but as a guy whose not looking to rush into anything serious quickly I can see it being kind of a big deterrent. I mean, your mom will probably know a lot of what happens of your dates, she'll know the night you first (and always) have sex, and you'll meet her mom anytime to go over to her place, even just to drop her off. even if she's a cooler mom, shell always be "more there" and that's a lot of pressure to add when you're still figuring out if you have chemistry/genuinely like each other, and not just measuring up to more than one person standard.

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    • Exactly.. A lot of pressure..

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    • Well.. My mom the same for me.. I'm only child. That's because we boys don't see all the things that woman can see

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 170

  • I wouldn't care. Not even if I didn't get along with your parents. Would still have the basic respect towards em anyway.
    If I can throw a guestion back, what do people mean with that independency when talking about it, and I'm not judging. Just want to make sure I got an understanding of it's meaning.

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    • I guess some people don’t think that one cannot live with their parents and still be treated like an adult and have independence. I meant my initial comment of independence as me stating that I am self sufficient and don’t have to go to my mom and say “hey can I have money” or ask her for rides or what she’s cooking for dinner, or ask her for permission to leave my house. I live in her house but I do everything for myself. Meanwhile, brother and sister don’t live in my house yet they are constantly having to rely on her. So I don't know who said that living on your own makes you independent...

    • Haha thank you. Brought a smile to my face =) and thank you for clarifying. I do agree with you and stand by my initial statement. No deal breakers here.

  • Live life the way you want it.
    Don't be dictated by others thoughts. Your still young enjoy your life with your parents. I guess they are best friends in your life, and they are happy each day they see you.

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    • What if that's not what she wants?

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    • My mom likes having me around. She always says that she prefers me there because we’re both like roommates and peaceful lol. Otherwise she’d be alone since my dad passed away and my brother and sisters are all married

    • Sorry to hear your dad has passed away.
      I know what you mean about being like roommates. I lived for nearly 20years from home. But came back to care for my mother.
      I spent the best part of 6years with her. And we were like best friends. Pity my 5 brothers and 1sister missed out on her quirky and funny side of my mother, which I really miss. But still get a giggle from my memories about her.

      What I am saying. Do miss out on her and your life together. Live every minute with her. Because only you will remember her true self.

  • I'm 24, haven't finished any college or univerisity, still live with my parents and do not even have a consistent job currently. Relax. As long as you're making money and trying to save you're fine. It's best you stay at home and save until you're confident you can be comfortable living alone. Until then reap the benefits of disposable income.

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  • No dear, not at all. If you live with your parents doesn't mean you're dependent, it's your choice, where you like to live and enjoy. In India mostly children live with their parents even at 50. So it's all about your choice and comfort, boys might don't like it (though this isn't something so big) but right guys willl accept.

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  • I hope not, I'm 23, still live with my parents, going on to do a masters, so when I finish that I'll be 24 without a good paying job (I'll still have a job, just not a good paying one) so I'll be in the same situation. In the current economy I don't think it's fair to just someone from living with their parents because getting on the housing market is increasingly difficult.

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  • No not at all. It's in my eyes really sweet and considerate of you to reside with your mom.
    You shouldn't bother about guy's opinions on what you feel that you are supposed to do and is right. So no not a deal breaker at all. Your guy should be proud of you *-*

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  • No. But I wouldn't really believe that you are truly independent. Unless you can prove it or have evidence you have lived on your own without literally anyone's help for more than two years.

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    • I’ve done everything for myself since I’ve been 16. I only live with my mom. I buy my own groceries. Help with bills. I put myself through college. I bought my own car. I know I’m independent. I just don’t think it’s necesary to rent and pay someone’s elses mortgage. I rather wait a bit and buy my own house.

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    • Lol this is jokes. You ask a question inviting for opinions and when you get answers that you don't like you get incredibly upset and unable to keep a cool head. Good grief.
      Always thought the idea of "paying rent to others means giving money away" is such a dumb idea - we are all one and the same. The fact you separate who are "on your side" and who are not is why this world will always have violent conflicts. If you weren't living in your moms house then she'll just rent your room out and she'll get extra money anyway. No difference.

  • You're a woman, so its no big deal if you never move out.

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  • I dont see it as a problem myself. I dont like living alone so i plan to skip the living alone part and directly move in with my future girl.

    Moving now means more chores, less income, more worries given i first have to recover from my burnout and aside from the ability to have sex easier i would gain absolutely nothing.

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  • I would not care as long as you don't need your parents permission to go out or stay at my place for the night. It would be also important to know whether you can live on your own or do parents do everything for you. Hopefully you wouldn't also mind moving in with me in relatively close future

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    • No lol. I can leave for a week if I wanted.. without asking for permission. Like I can travel freely and won’t have to worry about anyone taking care of my house or anything. We’re like roommates lol

  • Not a deal breaker but if your a guy in the same situation looking for a girl then you better lie

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  • Mostly yes. However, if your mom is living in your place rather than the other way around, or if it's a caretaker type of relationship where you moved back with a parent to help them due to poor health or whatever, I could make exceptions.

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  • Considering that women in Michigan see it as a deal breaker, I wouldn't give a woman any consideration if she lived with her parents. Also unless you pay all your own bills, including rent or a house payment, I don't view the person as entirely "independent".

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  • Not for a girl, no. Now if you're a guy, and you're still a dependent, it could be a red flag.

    For example, I moved out when I was 17, bought a house when I was 19, and was making bank. New car, a boat, living large. Of course that was more than forty years ago. :)

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    • now if you work for 10 yearsin a city like San Francisco you still mightnot be able to own a house.

    • @iFarted - I dunno, my youngest got a masters in Comp-sci in 4 years and got picked up by a tech-giant in silly-con valley making bank. He COULD buy a house, but waiting to see if he really wants that kind of commitment. Starter homes are a million bucks! Instead they rent - their first place was $4500/mo. But the two of them make a couple of hundred grand and they were still broke, so they moved to another apartment and saved about $1200/mo. Enough to pay his student loan. It's tough, but surely do-able. His wife, whom he met at school, also got a masters in their 4 years. They're pretty smart kids and work hard to get what they want.

  • It is actually economically smartest thing to do. But i would prefer if she is willing to move out in order to live together if the relationship progresses that far.

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  • Your dating life/bringing home a guy doesn't have to be intense. Have them come over, it's not a deal breaker as long as you're not ashamed of it. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

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  • If I were a girl and you were a guy, then it would be.

    But in your situation, unless there were extenuating circumstance, like your mom being seriously ill, she is living with you, or you live in Asia where that is expected, it would not be deal breaker, but it would suggest that you would be a throwaway girlfriend, not a LTR one.

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  • its not a problem, i did it till age 33 and now i can afford one of the most expensive houses in the country, which i have now ;)

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  • No. Inconvenient maybe, especially if overnkght stays are froend upon. But i have my own place so always invite SO to mine.

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  • It would have been a deal breaker 20 years ago, but because of the economy, it's just so common now, that it's considered normal, and even wise, to live with your parents.

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  • I'm 25 aswell and I know, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
    Even if I'm living alone for almost 3 years now.

    You're independent, you have a degree. Perfect!

    You don't have your own place yet, so it gives the guy many possibilities. Which is good.
    If you have OR find someone, you can build something up together.
    In the mean time, you can spare some money as you live with your mom.

    You're doing "fine" girl, don't worry ;)

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  • I dont care you wanna go out ill take you to the fanciest Mcdonald's i know

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  • It's fine. I don't blame someone for not wanting to buy a house, then have to turn around and sell it to move in together with an SO eventually anyways.
    Plus you can save money to make a better down payment once you find the right person so you two will have lesser payments and have it easier financially.

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  • Seeing as you have like good intentions and good career made out for you, I don't see it as anything bad. But say if you had no career in check, and were there not because you wanted to save money, but because you couldn't leave. That would be an issue in my opinion

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  • In Arabic culture we move out of our parents house when we get married or live abroad
    It is good, they are the who raised us and gave us everything, so I don't see any problem with that

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  • I think it's normal if you help at home in some way like paying some things.. electricity, gas etc.
    Maybe you are saving money to your own house or apartment and you don't want to waste money in a rental home or apartment

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    • Saving money through living at the parents' house is no different than asking parents for money to save to buy a house.

    • but if you contribute with your salary to help the house, it is different

    • Depends on how substantial that contribution is. If it's like $100 a month, then that's a joke. Living with parents saves at least $800 a month, does she pay her parents $800 a month? I don't think so.

  • In the time we live in, you'll see that more and more. People won't be able to leave their parents home as soon as they could before.
    I'd say no, it's not a problem, but you can't ask your boyfriend to live with your mom too. You'll have to choose at some point.

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  • It is a western ideology to live an individualistic life.. Africans Asians middle easterns.. they all tend to take care of their parents.
    Believe it or not your parents are growing older and less capable of doing things.
    Now if their super rich and can hire help you can go

    At least that's how it works where I'm from

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  • Could be worst. I personally don't have a problem with it. I'm makes good financial sense to not spend frivelous money and to save by utilizing your parents if they are willing to let you still be at home. As long as you are willing gti stay at his place here and there it shouldn't be too much of an issue.

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  • My ex is in her thirties still living at home. We where together for almost 9 years. I moved in with her and her mom. Then later her dad and further down her worthless brother moved in. She refused to move out always some excuse I eventually moved out. Honestly I see her in her 50s living with her mom and dad brother with the 7 cats they have.. I should of left sooner..

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What Girls Said 35

  • It depends why you live with them. In your case, I don't see a problem with it at all

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  • I'm 26 going to be 27 in November and I'm still with my parents. I do have a boyfriend but for me personally I would feel like it's deal breaker and wouldn't want to date a guy til I got my own place if I was single. Thankful my boyfriend doesn't care but that's cause he's still living with his mother.

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  • Who care? You can live wherever you want and feel comfortable. If you're comfortable and happy then that's all that matters. Living alone isn't always good or something magic to give you happiness or make people change their minds about you.

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  • I don't think it would be for many guys. It's interesting how there's a double standard at play though with this situation. I wouldn't date a guy in a similar situation.

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    • Interesting! Out of curiosity, why would that be a deal killer for you?

    • @winterfox10 I'm trying to get rid of this bias currently, but I would want a man that is independent (he lives on his own, has a steady job and a car). I understand why some men are living with their parents (free rent, for example) but the fact that he's still at home, dependent upon his parents is a bit of a turn-off. :/

  • I think a working person at age 25 should be looking to move out. Like if you moved back home for a year or two, whatever, but if you've been there since high school, that would be a huge red flag. Be independent ya know.

    Yes, I would be worried (if you were a dude)

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    • It's a lot harder than it sounds to move out.

    • @winterfox10 I know it is. I was in college then moved off campus and lived in an apartment for 2 years, and I had 2 roommates, shared a bathroom (fun), but paid all my bills. I don't think it's impossible. I know if you live in a place like California it can be more difficult. I even specified, a person who is moving back for a year or two, cool, that's them saving up and building the foundation to get on their feet. But someone who's been home all this time, (not focusing on school) just working... why haven't they saved up enough to leave? I would be worried.

  • I live my parents after being fired and then deciding on a career change, no one has decided not to date me because of that.

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  • Well I'm not a guy but i think it depends on the society you live in. In America living with your parents at age 25 is looked down upon while in other countries people don't move out till marriage. Personally I don't see a problem and I think you shouldn't care what others think as long as you and your parents are cool with it.

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    • Agreed. In Bulgaria we often have 2 generations under one roof. It's not a big deal like it is in America.

  • Good question! Waiting for some answers bc I am in the same situation. Generally I think if it's a guy then it's lame but not a deal breaker. For me, if I'm not serious with someone to live with I'm saving money this way and not lonely. I would like to live alone but it's costly. My boyfriend says I should get my own place. When I tell people I live with my mom they like roll their eyes like I'm immature or something. I don't know.

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    • I think the fact you think it's lame shows that you're insecure about your situation. If that's not the case and I'm wrong, okay. But I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

  • You are not independent. You live with your parents

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    • Just because I live with my mom doesn’t mean I don’t pay my own stuff and make my own money. So if I had a roommmate I wouldn’t be independent?

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    • I knew who to call and what to do too, but its not something to underestimate, there's a lot more to it, but i guess you will only find out once you get out of the house.

  • It would only be a deal-breaker if he has no ambition and is not trying to better himself or make it so that he'll be able to have his own place one day.

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  • nope, i'm almost 25. people who say it's a deal breaker would be a deal breaker for me cause they make me feel stupid.

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  • Well if you not planning to stay forever it's fine but if you are girlllll how the hell are you suppose to have sex if your parents are in the next room? might as well find people to be roommates with and move out.

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    • I’m not really dating so it’s not a hindrance for me. I just met a guy and I was wondering like if my current living situation was a deal breaker for some. He didn’t seem to care, he was understanding when I explained the reasoning behind it.

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    • Lol well that's good but still strive to get out of your parents when you can. Or just move in with friends or with him if you two stay together for a long time.

    • What do you mean how are you going to have sex? Just close the door, your parents know that as an adult you are a sexual individual.

  • I doubt most guys would care in your situation. It's completely different if someone is 25 and still being taken care of by their parents. I read some opinions from the guys that said women would care of it were a guy. If he's doing it to save money, with the job he has and does his own laundry. Isn't living with his mom because of some kind of attachment issue , then I wouldn't care. He'd obviously move out and find a place with me when and if the relationship made in to that point.
    The situation and reasons matter.

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  • Depends. You said you live with your mom? So only your mom then? There’s probably a reason behind that.

    But if someone’s just living there because it’s cheap or whatever, while they have a regular job, that’s weird.

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  • Depends on your situation. For example, I’m temporarily living with my parents at 25 because of financial issues. I plan on moving out again once I get that resolved.

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  • That's pretty standard where I'm from. People still have enough sex so that is not a problem. Also as long as they can cook, clean and have a job its not a deal breaker.

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  • Not anymore. It's expensive out there! Yes I want my daughter to be independent but I won't penalize her. As for anyone wanting to date her, they should realize that jobs don't grow on trees anymore.

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  • I think it depends on the situation, like for example financial reasons and you just need somewhere to live until you can support yourself entirely. Even in some cultures living with your parents during your adulthood is completely normal. In my general opinion, if the guy I’m interested in is still living with his parents I wouldn’t find it a deal breaker as long as he’s making a conscious effort to work and save up enough to move out, pays for his own shit and does his own chores/errands otherwise if he’s just piggybacking off his parents playing video games in the basement then yeah it’s a dealbreaker. Also if he’s 30+ then I’ll probs start to find it a little weird, I feel like that’s the age people should be well off on their own.

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  • Not a deal-breaker but you certainly want to try to get started in life.

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  • I don't think so. You've got a good paying job and you've got a degree, that should be enough.

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  • I think there is a bigger picture here. How much is a typical mortgage? Is Rent explosively high in your location?
    Are you wanting to still live with your parents or are you financially just trying to start to put money away for a roof of your own.
    In some instances it's easier to pay for bills when you have a significant other, it sounds to me like you just haven't found yours yet, but you want to.

    Also, I guess you are talking about judgement, would you judge a potential love match if he was fully capable, working fulltime, looked nice, treated you well but just happened to live at home and eat Sunday dinners around the family table. Or would you think maybe he shares the same values I do. I WILL give this a chance!

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  • If you are planning on moving out soon. No. If you are planning on staying longer. That's a big no to me

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  • Not with all the inflation going on lmao.

    It matters with men more though hahah

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  • If u living with her just because she can't take of herself anymore its fine otherwise it's not

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  • i don't think it should be. if you have your shit together it doesn't matter in my eyes

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  • If guy is interested ask the girl why

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  • I think so, and it gets worse with the years.

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  • Nothing wrong with that

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  • YESZZZZSSSSSSSSSS

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  • LOL
    😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
    No

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