No, it's fine. At least in California (and I know many other places), housing costs went way up after the recession started to ease, and few people can afford to live alone anymore. A friend of mine had been renting a 2-bedroom apartment (800 sq feet) for $2000/month, and they raised her rent to $2400/month, and then to $2600. She ended up moving into an "inlaw unit", which is basically a small studio apartment, as she couldn't afford that rent.
I just worked on a 2-car garage that was converted into an upscale studio apartment in Oakland - and not in the nice areas in the hills, but in the run-down (but quickly gentrifying) area near downtown. That studio is renting for $3000/month, and the guy who moved in feels fortunate to live there. There were over 30 applications for that space.
Yeah I worked in Cali my lot rent to park my camper was $1600 a month I don’t know how people do it
Well, part of this explains why I don't want to move to California. Too damn expensive.
It’s a badass state though damn it’s fun I moved to Norfolk va from there it’s like going to prison
But cheaper
Damn
You went to college. It's almost a given you'll live with your parents for a while. You don't just graduate, get the top pay grade of your field and have all your loans paid off. It's not a turn off unless you have no desire to get out of that situation within the next 3-5 years
I actually got a job that pays higher than my mom and she has her own degree and great paying job. It’s just temporary because I’m saving and currently applying to medical schools.
Not a deal breaker, but as a guy whose not looking to rush into anything serious quickly I can see it being kind of a big deterrent. I mean, your mom will probably know a lot of what happens of your dates, she'll know the night you first (and always) have sex, and you'll meet her mom anytime to go over to her place, even just to drop her off. even if she's a cooler mom, shell always be "more there" and that's a lot of pressure to add when you're still figuring out if you have chemistry/genuinely like each other, and not just measuring up to more than one person standard.
@EnocV we are 4 girls in my family and 1 boy, my mom is mostly judgmental of my brothers girlfriends rather than our boyfriends. She doesn’t care about our love life and if someone brings people, she’s antisocial and goes to her room and doesn’t come out until they leave lol.
The guy I’m seeing is 36 and lives with his grandma and it’s not a dealbreaker for me. I actually have more respect for him because of it. He moved in with her when he split with his last girlfriend to help her out because she was on her own but did not want to move into a nursing home and needed help.
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It depends why you live with them. In your case, I don't see a problem with it at all
I personally wouldn't see it that way because I am one of those people. I understand there are plenty of reasons and in the end if I'm dating, I'm doing it for the girl, personality and looks, jokes and hobbies, interests and values.
The fact that someone lives with parents shouldn't have a negative impact on that person's image, but I am sure that a lot of shallow people do care.
I live in a big city where everyone wants to be, so everyone outside the city is forced to move in for good jobs. Bucharest Romania.
I was born here. I still live with parents and I'm in the range of 25-30 just to get an idea.
I do feel a girl that moved from outside the town and living in a rented apartment, would see it as a deal breaker. I actually am a bit worried about that and did recently think at this because of this girl I suddenly crushed on. "she might think I'm a low life, a loser".
But you have to look at it this way:
- renting is out of question as long as I have a place to stay in town.
-buying in a good place with upfront payment would cost me equal to about 80 months of work. That's the difference between my more than decent paycheck and the cost of an apartment.
There is the option of buying through loan, but why have an apartment to yourself when being single and not shoveling money from one side to the other?
Imagine that pay the mortgage, pay the utilities for an apartment all by myself. It would be a lot of fun to say the least.
I do however plan to get one, just so I can get this off my chest.
I doubt most guys would care in your situation. It's completely different if someone is 25 and still being taken care of by their parents. I read some opinions from the guys that said women would care of it were a guy. If he's doing it to save money, with the job he has and does his own laundry. Isn't living with his mom because of some kind of attachment issue , then I wouldn't care. He'd obviously move out and find a place with me when and if the relationship made in to that point.
The situation and reasons matter.
I think it depends on the situation, like for example financial reasons and you just need somewhere to live until you can support yourself entirely. Even in some cultures living with your parents during your adulthood is completely normal. In my general opinion, if the guy I’m interested in is still living with his parents I wouldn’t find it a deal breaker as long as he’s making a conscious effort to work and save up enough to move out, pays for his own shit and does his own chores/errands otherwise if he’s just piggybacking off his parents playing video games in the basement then yeah it’s a dealbreaker. Also if he’s 30+ then I’ll probs start to find it a little weird, I feel like that’s the age people should be well off on their own.
Yes and No both.
It's yes because, if you are being forced by your parents ( physically or emotionally/mentally) and you are not doing anything to stop that or to make them stop that by taking justice when you can do that, or if you have some compulsive reasons for staying with your parents even when you can easily move out. In these cases if can be a deal breaker
It's not a deal breaker if your relationship with your parents have always been full of love, affection, caring, understanding etc and you have always had the right to live your life by your rules throughout your life. In this case if you wish to live with your parents, it won't be a deal breaker at all.
In this case it would be "NO"
I wouldn't care. Not even if I didn't get along with your parents. Would still have the basic respect towards em anyway.
If I can throw a guestion back, what do people mean with that independency when talking about it, and I'm not judging. Just want to make sure I got an understanding of it's meaning.
I guess some people don’t think that one cannot live with their parents and still be treated like an adult and have independence. I meant my initial comment of independence as me stating that I am self sufficient and don’t have to go to my mom and say “hey can I have money” or ask her for rides or what she’s cooking for dinner, or ask her for permission to leave my house. I live in her house but I do everything for myself. Meanwhile, brother and sister don’t live in my house yet they are constantly having to rely on her. So I don't know who said that living on your own makes you independent...
I'm 26 going to be 27 in November and I'm still with my parents. I do have a boyfriend but for me personally I would feel like it's deal breaker and wouldn't want to date a guy til I got my own place if I was single. Thankful my boyfriend doesn't care but that's cause he's still living with his mother.
I think there is a bigger picture here. How much is a typical mortgage? Is Rent explosively high in your location?
Are you wanting to still live with your parents or are you financially just trying to start to put money away for a roof of your own.
In some instances it's easier to pay for bills when you have a significant other, it sounds to me like you just haven't found yours yet, but you want to.
Also, I guess you are talking about judgement, would you judge a potential love match if he was fully capable, working fulltime, looked nice, treated you well but just happened to live at home and eat Sunday dinners around the family table. Or would you think maybe he shares the same values I do. I WILL give this a chance!
No dear, not at all. If you live with your parents doesn't mean you're dependent, it's your choice, where you like to live and enjoy. In India mostly children live with their parents even at 50. So it's all about your choice and comfort, boys might don't like it (though this isn't something so big) but right guys willl accept.
It is seen as more of a dealbreaker I think from a woman's perspective if the GUY is living with his parents.
To me, if you're doing drugs - smoking pot and refuse to work... and you live at home, I don't want to date ya. If you have a decent job, room for promotion, love it, help your folks, and eventually plan on moving out, you're good - especially at 26.
I'd be thinking it was weird if you were 35 and you were successful and earning enough to be on your own and were stable, but insisted on being at home.
I'm 24, haven't finished any college or univerisity, still live with my parents and do not even have a consistent job currently. Relax. As long as you're making money and trying to save you're fine. It's best you stay at home and save until you're confident you can be comfortable living alone. Until then reap the benefits of disposable income.
I would not care as long as you don't need your parents permission to go out or stay at my place for the night. It would be also important to know whether you can live on your own or do parents do everything for you. Hopefully you wouldn't also mind moving in with me in relatively close future
No lol. I can leave for a week if I wanted.. without asking for permission. Like I can travel freely and won’t have to worry about anyone taking care of my house or anything. We’re like roommates lol
No not at all. It's in my eyes really sweet and considerate of you to reside with your mom.
You shouldn't bother about guy's opinions on what you feel that you are supposed to do and is right. So no not a deal breaker at all. Your guy should be proud of you *-*
I hope not, I'm 23, still live with my parents, going on to do a masters, so when I finish that I'll be 24 without a good paying job (I'll still have a job, just not a good paying one) so I'll be in the same situation. In the current economy I don't think it's fair to just someone from living with their parents because getting on the housing market is increasingly difficult.
Guys have no fucks to give about this, only girls do. Girls won't date a guy that lives with his Mom, but many of them would date a guy that lives with his... wife.
Well I rather date a guy that lives with his mom rather than his... wife
I dont see it as a problem myself. I dont like living alone so i plan to skip the living alone part and directly move in with my future girl.
Moving now means more chores, less income, more worries given i first have to recover from my burnout and aside from the ability to have sex easier i would gain absolutely nothing.
I think a working person at age 25 should be looking to move out. Like if you moved back home for a year or two, whatever, but if you've been there since high school, that would be a huge red flag. Be independent ya know.
Yes, I would be worried (if you were a dude)
It's a lot harder than it sounds to move out.
@winterfox10 I know it is. I was in college then moved off campus and lived in an apartment for 2 years, and I had 2 roommates, shared a bathroom (fun), but paid all my bills. I don't think it's impossible. I know if you live in a place like California it can be more difficult. I even specified, a person who is moving back for a year or two, cool, that's them saving up and building the foundation to get on their feet. But someone who's been home all this time, (not focusing on school) just working... why haven't they saved up enough to leave? I would be worried.
If I were a girl and you were a guy, then it would be.
But in your situation, unless there were extenuating circumstance, like your mom being seriously ill, she is living with you, or you live in Asia where that is expected, it would not be deal breaker, but it would suggest that you would be a throwaway girlfriend, not a LTR one.
No, it’s pretty common for people 25 or older to still live with their parents. If anything, it may be more acceptable for a 25 year old woman to live with her parents than a man of the same age.
Live life the way you want it.
Don't be dictated by others thoughts. Your still young enjoy your life with your parents. I guess they are best friends in your life, and they are happy each day they see you.
My mom likes having me around. She always says that she prefers me there because we’re both like roommates and peaceful lol. Otherwise she’d be alone since my dad passed away and my brother and sisters are all married
Sorry to hear your dad has passed away.
I know what you mean about being like roommates. I lived for nearly 20years from home. But came back to care for my mother.
I spent the best part of 6years with her. And we were like best friends. Pity my 5 brothers and 1sister missed out on her quirky and funny side of my mother, which I really miss. But still get a giggle from my memories about her.
What I am saying. Do miss out on her and your life together. Live every minute with her. Because only you will remember her true self.
Considering that women in Michigan see it as a deal breaker, I wouldn't give a woman any consideration if she lived with her parents. Also unless you pay all your own bills, including rent or a house payment, I don't view the person as entirely "independent".
Well I'm not a guy but i think it depends on the society you live in. In America living with your parents at age 25 is looked down upon while in other countries people don't move out till marriage. Personally I don't see a problem and I think you shouldn't care what others think as long as you and your parents are cool with it.
Not for a girl, no. Now if you're a guy, and you're still a dependent, it could be a red flag.
For example, I moved out when I was 17, bought a house when I was 19, and was making bank. New car, a boat, living large. Of course that was more than forty years ago. :)
@iFarted - I dunno, my youngest got a masters in Comp-sci in 4 years and got picked up by a tech-giant in silly-con valley making bank. He COULD buy a house, but waiting to see if he really wants that kind of commitment. Starter homes are a million bucks! Instead they rent - their first place was $4500/mo. But the two of them make a couple of hundred grand and they were still broke, so they moved to another apartment and saved about $1200/mo. Enough to pay his student loan. It's tough, but surely do-able. His wife, whom he met at school, also got a masters in their 4 years. They're pretty smart kids and work hard to get what they want.
I'm 25 aswell and I know, it wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
Even if I'm living alone for almost 3 years now.
You're independent, you have a degree. Perfect!
You don't have your own place yet, so it gives the guy many possibilities. Which is good.
If you have OR find someone, you can build something up together.
In the mean time, you can spare some money as you live with your mom.
You're doing "fine" girl, don't worry ;)
It's fine. I don't blame someone for not wanting to buy a house, then have to turn around and sell it to move in together with an SO eventually anyways.
Plus you can save money to make a better down payment once you find the right person so you two will have lesser payments and have it easier financially.
Good question! Waiting for some answers bc I am in the same situation. Generally I think if it's a guy then it's lame but not a deal breaker. For me, if I'm not serious with someone to live with I'm saving money this way and not lonely. I would like to live alone but it's costly. My boyfriend says I should get my own place. When I tell people I live with my mom they like roll their eyes like I'm immature or something. I don't know.
I think the fact you think it's lame shows that you're insecure about your situation. If that's not the case and I'm wrong, okay. But I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
You're a woman, so its no big deal if you never move out.
@diegoD lololol
No. Many guys may be snobby towards it but they aren't worth it. Plenty of guys do it too. Things are expensive out there and there's no reason to force independence before being financially ready. That only brings more stress to the family, not less.
Well if you not planning to stay forever it's fine but if you are girlllll how the hell are you suppose to have sex if your parents are in the next room? might as well find people to be roommates with and move out.
I’m not really dating so it’s not a hindrance for me. I just met a guy and I was wondering like if my current living situation was a deal breaker for some. He didn’t seem to care, he was understanding when I explained the reasoning behind it.
He lives on his own so we’ll be hanging out at his place lol!
its not a problem, i did it till age 33 and now i can afford one of the most expensive houses in the country, which i have now ;)
Not necessarily when I started to work around 16 years old I worked on the road doing construction so why would I have a place to live I'm going to be gone 3 months to 6 months at the time means I have to have someone to look after a place while I'm gone and cost me money
In the time we live in, you'll see that more and more. People won't be able to leave their parents home as soon as they could before.
I'd say no, it's not a problem, but you can't ask your boyfriend to live with your mom too. You'll have to choose at some point.
Who care? You can live wherever you want and feel comfortable. If you're comfortable and happy then that's all that matters. Living alone isn't always good or something magic to give you happiness or make people change their minds about you.
Mostly yes. However, if your mom is living in your place rather than the other way around, or if it's a caretaker type of relationship where you moved back with a parent to help them due to poor health or whatever, I could make exceptions.
Depends. You said you live with your mom? So only your mom then? There’s probably a reason behind that.
But if someone’s just living there because it’s cheap or whatever, while they have a regular job, that’s weird.
No. Inconvenient maybe, especially if overnkght stays are froend upon. But i have my own place so always invite SO to mine.
I don't think it would be for many guys. It's interesting how there's a double standard at play though with this situation. I wouldn't date a guy in a similar situation.
Interesting! Out of curiosity, why would that be a deal killer for you?
@winterfox10 I'm trying to get rid of this bias currently, but I would want a man that is independent (he lives on his own, has a steady job and a car). I understand why some men are living with their parents (free rent, for example) but the fact that he's still at home, dependent upon his parents is a bit of a turn-off. :/
Seeing as you have like good intentions and good career made out for you, I don't see it as anything bad. But say if you had no career in check, and were there not because you wanted to save money, but because you couldn't leave. That would be an issue in my opinion
It would have been a deal breaker 20 years ago, but because of the economy, it's just so common now, that it's considered normal, and even wise, to live with your parents.
nope, i'm almost 25. people who say it's a deal breaker would be a deal breaker for me cause they make me feel stupid.
I live my parents after being fired and then deciding on a career change, no one has decided not to date me because of that.
Not a deal breaker but if your a guy in the same situation looking for a girl then you better lie
Lolololol I dont think it’s bad
Then your one of the few
Depends on your situation. For example, I’m temporarily living with my parents at 25 because of financial issues. I plan on moving out again once I get that resolved.
I think all the people who moved out at 18 are all flat broke now cause they had too many expenses from the beginning. Save money while you can and have a nest egg.
It is a western ideology to live an individualistic life.. Africans Asians middle easterns.. they all tend to take care of their parents.
Believe it or not your parents are growing older and less capable of doing things.
Now if their super rich and can hire help you can go
At least that's how it works where I'm from
Could be worst. I personally don't have a problem with it. I'm makes good financial sense to not spend frivelous money and to save by utilizing your parents if they are willing to let you still be at home. As long as you are willing gti stay at his place here and there it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
It is actually economically smartest thing to do. But i would prefer if she is willing to move out in order to live together if the relationship progresses that far.
Not a deal-breaker but you certainly want to try to get started in life.
My ex is in her thirties still living at home. We where together for almost 9 years. I moved in with her and her mom. Then later her dad and further down her worthless brother moved in. She refused to move out always some excuse I eventually moved out. Honestly I see her in her 50s living with her mom and dad brother with the 7 cats they have.. I should of left sooner..
Your dating life/bringing home a guy doesn't have to be intense. Have them come over, it's not a deal breaker as long as you're not ashamed of it. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
I don't some do some people have this stupid thing of having to leave at 18 which is dumb I also live with my mom because it's cheaper and I have no reason to find my own place no relationship s I go and come when I please and pay rent if your cool with it find another adult who is leave the children to their debt and have fun
No. But I wouldn't really believe that you are truly independent. Unless you can prove it or have evidence you have lived on your own without literally anyone's help for more than two years.
I’ve done everything for myself since I’ve been 16. I only live with my mom. I buy my own groceries. Help with bills. I put myself through college. I bought my own car. I know I’m independent. I just don’t think it’s necesary to rent and pay someone’s elses mortgage. I rather wait a bit and buy my own house.
Exactly!
Renting an apartment isn't paying someone else's mortgage
How have you done everything for yourself when you live with your mom? that's her house not yours
@asker unfortunately that's not really saying a lot. You buy your own groceries but do you cook every meal and wash up every time? You help paying the bills but do you know how to set up utility contracts and understand laws in regarding to utility bills? You bought your own car, but did you chose a good car by your own judgement? Did you paid your license, lessons and all the maintenance that come with it? Essentially, you can say all kinds of things but ultimately, the greatest evidence you can back yourself up with is you literally move out and live entirely on your own without ANY support from anyone else. Financially, emotionally AND logistically.
Thank you!!
Lololol I answer yes to all of that! Let’s just change it then... let’s just put it this way: I pay rent and my mom lives with me. That’s more of my situation because I’m the one that pays bills, I’m the one that cooks and cleans. You guys act as if just because someone lives with their parent they’re automatically coddled. Whenever the moment comes to move out, i will. I hadn’t my own apartment that I paid monthly for. Did I find it necesary? No, which is why I live with my mom, who actually benefits from my presence more than I do from hers.
I had my own apartment*
Girl you just said u love with your parents. omg I'm done 😆😁
@maddithebaddi we agree to disagree because ultimately your judgement is clouded by your narrow minded opinions regarding the situation. You can only speak for yourself as I can only speak for myself. I understand, you probably had to work at an early age and move out at 18 starting from scratch, as many people have. I had to provide for myself and help my household after my dads death when I was 16. No biggie. I did what I did and continue to help provide my mom. I don’t need to leech off or am depending on her. I contribute and work. Independence is having what’s necesary to survive by yourself. If I was forced to leave my house tonight, I have more than enough money and knowledge to move into an apartment that same night. I don’t have to borrow or run around frantic. Regardless, the original question wasn’t even about independence; thus, this is rendered unnecessary.
One thing stood out to me is that you said you had (more) benefit by living with your parents (instead of living on your own). Meaning that you are right now, living an easier life compare to someone who truly live independently. If you are truly being 100% doing everything yourself in the house, you would not be living any easier life than someone who live out on their own. You would've received absolutely NO benefit by living with your parents if you are truly 100% doing everything yourself. Meaning, you can or prove to me personally that you are capable of true independence. I believe have a strong potential that you can, far better than other freeloaders. But I still say you had it easy, compare to anyone who truly living out on their own. You sold yourself out by saying "I see more benefit of living with my mum than renting my own", meaning you do NOT had the daily 24/7/365 pressure of taking care of literally everything yourself. You had it easiER.
Exactly she is not independent . she is basically a 25 year old toddler 😁😂🤣🤣😆
All she needs is a diaper
The benefit of living with my mom is that I can take the load off my retired mom and not feel like I’m wasting my money on an apartment that doesn’t even belong to me. I rather put all the money I have into my parents house rather than give it to someone else for their pocket. People have different opinions on it. Like I said, if everyone in my family considers me independent despite my living situation... then I really feel stupid for pleading and fighting a case to both of you when in reality, you guys hold no place in my mind and shouldn’t faze me. To you, I have nothing to prove. And to @maddithebaddi I have nothing to argue about. Wish you the best.
And there is nothing wrong with that at all. thats good you're helping your mom. the confusion just lies at the word "very independent ". there's nothing wrong with living at home
Lol this is jokes. You ask a question inviting for opinions and when you get answers that you don't like you get incredibly upset and unable to keep a cool head. Good grief.
Always thought the idea of "paying rent to others means giving money away" is such a dumb idea - we are all one and the same. The fact you separate who are "on your side" and who are not is why this world will always have violent conflicts. If you weren't living in your moms house then she'll just rent your room out and she'll get extra money anyway. No difference.
I have ALWAYS wanted to know this. I honestly thought it was going to be a HUGE yes, a big deal breaker for wanting to date the person living with their parents.
I still live with my parents. I literally have no bills and all my money from my job goes 100% to me. But hopefully that changes and I can get a girlfriend and find a place to move in together. Pray for me.
No, cause I'm 24 and still live wit my O. G.. As long as she workin toward somethin.. Lol.. I generally don't care..
It would only be a deal-breaker if he has no ambition and is not trying to better himself or make it so that he'll be able to have his own place one day.
A good 35% of my co workers at a cooperation live with their pants. Fuck this economy.
I dont have a car but live alone. Im ashamed and emberrassed about no car. So I dont date.
I hope people live with pants, could you imagine not having a house without any pants
@BrittBratt2416 apologies for the typos. I was on a bus and had to leave for work in a hurry. At my corporation that I work at a few people live with their parents but have a car. I have my own place but dont have a car. We dont get paid enough for both like our parents didm
That's fine sense there's a lot transportation options out there like taxis, buses, and uber. Plus you can save up for a car if you want to anyways, but at least you have you're own place. I don't have my own place or a car yet I do drive but just don't have a car =/
@BrittBratt2416 based on stigma. Id rather have my own car than regardless of if I live with my parents.
I dont care you wanna go out ill take you to the fanciest Mcdonald's i know
The fanciest you say? And they say chivalry is dead 🤧
😂 lol
In Arabic culture we move out of our parents house when we get married or live abroad
It is good, they are the who raised us and gave us everything, so I don't see any problem with that
Same in ethiopian culture! Men choose when, but typically women leave once they find their life partner.
It depends why, and in what circumstances, she lives with her parents.
That's pretty standard where I'm from. People still have enough sex so that is not a problem. Also as long as they can cook, clean and have a job its not a deal breaker.
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