Why are single dads praised and single moms shamed?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm assuming that people think that it is harder for men to take the mom and dad role than a woman. And unfortunately women are judged as the one who is supposed to take full responsibility for using adequate birth control when it is the responsibility of both parties. If a woman agrees to only using a condom for sex a man can disagree and say no we are going to use spermicide too.

I just finished a Korean tv show called One Spring Night about a man who was a single dad. In the past when his girlfriend got pregnant he assumed that they would get married. After she gave birth she ran away leaving him to raise their son with the help of his parents. The entire drama was about how shameful it was that he had a child out of marriage and that he would not find a woman who would be will to marry him. It was considered a very big deal.

Probably the premise of men get praised might be different in different societies.

ElissaDido · Accepted Answer

I feel it's because society has less expectations from men when it comes to parenting.
It's extremely rare for a woman not to care about her child. A woman will almost always look after her child.
It's much more common for a man to bail out of a relationship the moment his woman gets pregnant and to let her deal with the child on her own.

Therefore, since we have less expectations from men, society tends to give more praise to single dads.

I do think that this difference of perception boils down to sexism at the end of the day.
Some people will tell you that a woman with a single child is probably a slut. But they forget the fact that the pregnancy also needed a "slutty" man to happen.

1828avaava1828 · Accepted Answer

hmm You're asking me to answer a question that may have confounding or intervening variables. I respectfully decline to say without furthur research. I hope these are acceptable terms. Thank you!

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

Single dads come off as responsible, caring and loving because of the stigma of men leaving a woman when she gets pregnant. So when it’s the other way around it has the opposite effect.

Single mothers come off as irresponsible, loose and bad with judgement because it can be seen as her either sleeping around or sleeping with the kind of guy who would leave a pregnant woman.

When a woman leaves a man and her kids it’s more frowned upon and the guy gets praised for staying because that’s not the common scenario. When a guy leaves a woman and his kids of course the guy gets shamed but society wouldn’t be surprised since it happens so often, the woman gets shamed for “choosing” that type of man in the first place.

Nobody thinks about maybe the spouse died, or maybe the spouse was a really horrible/abusive person.

Djolea · Accepted Answer

When it comes to divorce, usually the kids stay with a mother. It's so common that whenever the father takes the kids, you know something is seriously wrong with the mother. Besides, mother's role is to be the nurturing parent, while the father is a role model, a strict figure to look up to. At least, that's the ideal, right? So when someone who is supposed to be a serious role model takes a role of a nurturing parent, it shows him as a uniquely loving parent, which is rare. And that's what makes the man more appealing if he is a single parent. At least that's how I see it.

hahahmm · Answer

Because most single dads handle everything on their own. While most single moms are getting welfare/alimony/child support... while yelling about how self-sufficient they are.

Also the typical single mom is bringing a parade of child abusing low rent makes into their childrens’ lives with the main goal of having ‘fun’

Typical single dad has higher standards.

Yes, these are generalizations.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

Single dads basically break a mold of being less than capable caretakers in comparison to their female counterparts. If the woman is single, is it because the father left, was the child an accident, etc. Most don't consider that the father died in combat, of health issues, accident, etc. Most assume that the father left or that he was just a piece of shit. They then proceed to blame the woman for making bad decisions.

It's messed up, but it's just society.

lumos · Answer

Women are expected to parent. Men aren't. So when a man does parent, it's all oohs and aahs because he's doing something people didn't really expect him to do. Women are therefore held to a higher standard because they're expected to do most, if not all the work. So they're under a magnifying glass.

GraveDoll · Answer

I have never Shamed either and never will

I respect anyone who doing thier best to raises children. It bad enough you have so many ignorant assholes in the world trying to make you feel bad for pass mistakes. But anyone who can keep thriving through all the hardship will still get the highest respect from me. Hands down.

BeMuse · Answer

Probably because 80% of divorces are filed by women. If women are usually the one's running out on the family and the man keeps it somewhat glued together, then it’s seen as a good thing. That said, plenty of women don’t want to date single dads. When it comes to single moms, well if they don’t know who the dad is you can see the problem… If they run out on the family and take the kids away from the guy which happens a lot against the wishes of the guy then again it’s a problem.

the_mad_tinkerer · Answer

Who's shaming single moms? Cause I will fight them.
In all seriousness, dad's get praise because there is a lowered expectation of fathers. Which is fucking stupid, because most of the men I know are fucking super hero work horses that please everyone at the expense of themselves.

ManOnFire · Answer

This is not true all. For decades single mothers have been empathized with while single fathers have been virtually not talked about, and when they are they've been said to be less able to handle the responsibilities than a single mother.

Single fathers are still less often talked about and praised, and when Father's Day comes around single mothers will even feel the need to shit on that!

0112358 · Answer

Generally a single father had fight to get his kids, he really wanted them and likely was able to prove he was a better parent. He almost certainly could have more easily not been a single father.

Single mothers cover a wider spectrum. People may make some unfair assumptions, but they certainly wouldn't make the positive assumptions they would about single dads.

almondcake · Answer

I really do not think this is the case , it just feels that way. For the father to have the kids he must be a very good option and there arnt that many single fathers. But there are so many single mothers that it stands to reason a few will be not so great and these few stand out as a bad example giving all single mums the wrong stereotype. Not so long ago all football supporters were thought of as thugs because a very small minority caused trouble. Its the same thing but different circumstance

bro25 · Answer

there's a solution to fix this "societal problem" Male sure that you're with someone you want to have a kid with instead of fake love. Though we cannot forget the inevitable that could make a single parent such as death, incarceration, military circumstances, or extreme illness otherwise most other excuses can be fixed or improved so that there are less single parents

AcidT0y · Answer

Single moms are not often in that situation by choice, it's usually due to poor choices. Single dads more often than not have had to go through a lot of trouble to get sole custody of the kid because it's generally harder for the father to get custody.

I honestly don't think anyone should be praised for looking after their kid. That is like the minimum requirement of being a parent. But still that could be one reason.

Lance1965 · Answer

Most single dads I have known are doing it all on their own with no child support, no alimony and little to no help from anyone unlike MOST single moms who have their monthly cash bonus to look forward to each month. Most men are seen as not much more than a sperm donor.

esotericstory · Answer

Because a woman is much more likely to receive the child because she is primary caretaker. The father is secondary caretaker. If the court places the child with the mother, it is to be expected, she is the primary caretaker after all. If the court places the child with the father it must be because the primary caretaker was a worse choice.

bellamossa · Answer

Because single dads have to fight much more against institutions and law to keep giving their kids a present daddy, while institution prefer to cut it sdhort and support the kids custody at the mother only. And that makes HEROES of dad's fighting for their kids, while mothers trying to separate kids from their daddies are rotten pieces of shit. That's why they get shamed, coz they hurt the kids.

kaffezo · Answer

maybe because society has this notion dads are lazy, don't do much and are just basically sperm donors. moms do all the work so when a single dad does it all, it's a shocker. I don't know.

SexyAshh · Answer

Because society makes it seem a woman with no husband whom has a child is a whore. Whereas the man would appear as a hero

Monicatimourlove · Answer

I know right yes we have the chrildren, we are caring for child while he gets to walk free, WTF taking there DI away? let me let you in on a little secret most don't know how drivers license so they really don't give a s*** We all should down harder on men and there babes being born make them accountable education education help

lucasnabizada · Answer

'EVERY SINGLE' SINGLE MOTHER SHAMED-
Wow so much for hyperbola... You're totally tripping bro... They are almost always praised, even if single motherhood or single fatherhood are both equally harmful to a child and especially his future

N192K001 · Answer

Single-dads are praised? Haven't they been seen as having failed to keep the woman? And is there no issue of being mistaken for a pedophile kidnapping their own kids in the playground?

ImJustCurious13 · Answer

Unless the single parent is a widow, I think single parent households are a damn shame whether it's a single mother or father, and this is coming from someone who was raised without a father figure for the great majority of his childhood.

markscott · Answer

I have a niece who is a single mom. We loved her, and never shamed her. She is a great person who made a mistake.

StephenCF · Answer

My biological dad became a single dad by leaving my mom around the time I was born... I most certainly NEVER praised him for his decision or lifestyle choice 🤬🤬🤬

xoellen · Answer

Because they are women. It all goes back to what society views.

AngelLily · Answer

From what I have seen most of the time single moms are praised while there are times where there not.

OrderofChaos33 · Answer

Because single dads are usually not sucking someone dry for child support or abusing the system getting food stamps and using child support money to get nails done and go on vacation lol

ChefCurry · Answer

Having kids as a guy and no mom is a big nono. Girls dont like that baggage. Guys are more likely to be cucked than the other way around, when it comes to taking care of someone else's kid.

MarshmallowFellow · Answer

They aren't. They're both praised if they have had wrong done by them or lost a loved one. They are shamed if they have done wrong and taken the kids with them away from a loving parent partner.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Probably because girls are built and trained for nurture and guys are not.

Anonymous · Answer

A single dads aren't really praised, it's more that they get some props for steppibg up when the mother doesn't care or is unfit..

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

What? haha Single moms are always exalted and everyone shows them compassion.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Because single dads have it harder. They're not getting child support and they don't have big daddy government bending over backwards to give them benefits.

GD360 · Answer

Its bad but, women look promiscuous, while men just look like they were abandoned by spouse.

standardguy · Answer

Because 70% of divorces are done by women. So they rob money and kids and the man is the victim. The man who can gain his kids though is a hero.

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve never heard of either of them being shamed, if I’m being honest.

Enolan12 · Answer

Patriarchal and misogynistic societal standards that are as deeply rooted into culture as racism. That’s probably why.

CoffeeWC · Answer

People raised by single moms are more likely to end up in prison than those raised by single dads. Look it up.

Billy1002 · Answer

Single dads are praised? I dont notice this double standard at all

clonesclone · Answer

Single moms are constantly praised... they really shouldn't be though. Most of them are irresponsible tramps.

AdmiralBailey · Answer

Because men are good people ~Mr Bails Extraordinaire

jgokgotit · Answer

Actually it is the other way around.

Giggletr0n · Answer

@ElissaDido that's pretty well said, good stuff.

DamnCurtis · Answer

Haven’t noticed this trend anywhere.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

I don't know, but it's ridiculous

PrinceOfAljazeera · Answer

single moms are lowest of the low thats why

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Double standard stupidity.

kam222 · Answer

I've never heard of single moms being shamed

MlleCake · Answer

Sexism. The end.

KeniKeni · Answer

People

Thatsamazing · Answer

Uh they are?

Anonymous · Answer

society

Slim57 · Answer

Since when

Why are single dads praised and single moms shamed?

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