How do you feel about parents that spank their kids?

[i_am_tbjxii]

No Spanking is not abusive in my opinion. I think it’s justifiable if the kid does not listen.

Updates

+1 y

Agreed thanks for your opinion especially since you been on both sides of the argument.

[Anonymous]

I've had some interesting conversations about this. I spank, but I WILL judge parents for telling their kids multiple times, whining at them, yelling at them, getting pissed off and at the end of their sanity and THEN spanking. That's when abuse happens.

I ask them to do, or not to do something. ONCE. If they don't, I have a very light, thin paddle and they get a swat to get their attention, then I ask them again. I never have to raise my voice or get angry.

If you wait until you're angry, yelling, and stomping around, they associate the spanking with your anger. They'll only start acting right when you're pissed off... and they'll keep you CONSTANTLY pissed off, which is stressful for everybody. Do it immediately and while you're calm, and they associate it with not behaving. They'll listen, you won't be angry all the time, and life will be less stressful for everybody involved.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I agree some parents take their anger out on their children and that’s wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not necessarily taking their anger out on them, it's letting them piss you off to the point where you blow up. You have to keep control of the situation

[iloveboobs10]

As a father it is very tough to raise children now adays because everyone has an opinion. Yes I have spanked my children in the past for very extreme cases but as they got older I didn't need to. I could sit them down talk to them and explain what they did was wrong and they understand to a point. Just remember it's about self discipline when disciplining ur child a spanking is the very last option. I hope this helped in some way

[i_am_tbjxii]

Absolutely at a certain age spankings are no longer necessary

[i_am_tbjxii]

My mom done the same with me

[iloveboobs10]

They grow out of it and the situation gets better for everybody

[Anonymous]

I don't have children but I babysit my brother all the time I've tried a lot of methods to discipline him cause he got no respect for me, but since I took my mother's advice and start using corporal punishment, he's behaving now cause he knows that it will be consequences for his misbehavior, so yes i believe in spanking as punishment

[i_am_tbjxii]

Yes sometimes that’s what it takes for them to listen. Corporal punishment is only affective for a short time till it become predictable

[Opinion Owner]

It got to be used right though, not using it as every day punishment.

[i_am_tbjxii]

^ nah not everyday just when they do something like act out in public. Bad behavior doesn’t happen everyday I get what you mean though

[Apple1996]

I spank my kids😆 and I hold no guilt especially when they're being bad and I tell them something over and over again and they dont listen.

[i_am_tbjxii]

That’s the point I bring up what if they continue not to listen? They see through meaningless threats after a while

[Apple1996]

Yess definitely, I do time outs too but that is very ineffective for my kids. They don't learn from sitting in a corner. I always talk it out with them tell them what they are doing is bad. But sometimes spanking is necessary. Before kids I thought it was wrong but now that I have them I get it

[Anonymous]

I spanked a few times. It wasn't anything I was planning to do and it wasn't very effective for my child. There were other things that were more effective for her like having things taken away or time out. With spanking she usually just got more defensive like why did you do that?

I think spanking should saved for things like running out in the road or other dangerous things. Years ago one of the parents of the kids in my preschool classroom was a psychologist and she didn't believe in spanking. One day she came in and confessed that her son had run out into a busy parking lot and she gave him a spanking. Sometimes in cases like that we have to keep our kids alive. Reminds me of a woman who saw her son on tv throwing rocks at police in a riot. She ran downtown hauled him home hitting him as she went. He was an older teenager. It was that or end up in prison or shot dead

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https://youtu.be/T51G5j0c10Ahttps://youtu.be/FOBrX8I2oNI

Again I do not advocate physical punishment but sometimes it is a matter of life and death. My child who doesn't even remember the 4 spanking I gave her told me after this incident that if it had been her she knew I'd come and get her and let her have it. I'm pretty easy going but there are times when we have to be tough.

[Opinion Owner]

I personally do not believe in spanking as the normal punishment. Only for more serious situations. I usually could come up with some pretty creative punishments without spanking.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I agree not for normal stuff

[Agape93]

I’m all for it. I have little patience for people not doing what I tell them lol

[Hurlyburly]

It shows me that the parents never learned to solve conflicts without violence. Which says a lot about their own maturity level.

[i_am_tbjxii]

The way how I see that that’s demonized is kinda crazy to me because today since less parents do it kids are so rude and disrespectful. They don’t take their parents seriously.

[Hurlyburly]

All I can tell you is that my father DID spank me and all what he earned from that was me distrusting him and even slightly hating him even into my adult years. He apologized many many times but I've never really been able to forgive him up until the day he died. If that's how you want the relationship with you'd children to be then it's up to you. I sure as hell would not want that.

[i_am_tbjxii]

It depends because their is a fine line between abuse and spanking people don’t understand.

[i_am_tbjxii]

If your getting beat for everything bad thing you do even if it’s little that my friend is abuse

[Hurlyburly]

Still, there are many many other ways to show a child that it did something wrong. Being violent towards someone you are expected to protect does nothing good.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I see your point.

[PondyPand]

Yes if there's potential harm to themselves or others if not.

[i_am_tbjxii]

If they’re spanked or not spanked?

[PondyPand]

Yes.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I see

[Anonymous]

There have been various studies that have shown it does more harm than good in the long-run. There are better ways to discipline your kids.

[i_am_tbjxii]

Like? Lately from what I seen corporal punishment have given kids too much freedom and they are really disrespectful. I see it in Walmart all the time

[Opinion Owner]

Walmart is a mess in every way, I doubt a lot of those parents discipline at home. Parents give in too easily too. If your kid is screaming over not getting a toy, you don't get them the toy just to shut them up, that reinforces bad behavior, but yet I've seen parents do that before. Parents need to start parenting again.

That's really what you have to do, set your foot down, show them that being disrespectful won't earn them anything (i. e leave the store and go home without anything, grounding them from certain things, stating what behavior is acceptable or not, etc) and they'll learn. That's what my parent did and I got over being a brat.

[i_am_tbjxii]

I see your point but unfortunately not every parent has it that simple.

[Opinion Owner]

Would you mind clarifying what you mean by them not having it that simple?

[i_am_tbjxii]

Some kids continue to not listen and cause a scene, while some listen to the verbal warnings.

[Opinion Owner]

Sure, some kids are easier than others. Doing it one or two times likely won't stop any future bad behavior, that's why you have to keep at it.

[i_am_tbjxii]

Can’t argue with that I respect your opinion

[codycccccccccc]

In a few extreme cases its necessary but not as a every day punishment

[i_am_tbjxii]

Ofc Not everyday. Sometimes that’s what it takes for them to listen.

[Anonymous]

Not the worst thing they can do, but I’m probably never going to spank my kids.

[i_am_tbjxii]

That’s alright I understand

[scooogy]

Abuse has causes. If spanking had no cause, why don't you do it all the time?

[i_am_tbjxii]

Easy cause I never always got spanked , it was only when I was behaving badly in public or I wasn’t listening. Which is when it’s necessary, sometimes you can tell a kid something 3 times and they don’t listen

[i_am_tbjxii]

And at a certain age spankings is no longer necessary

[scooogy]

Then the same question would go to your parents. And who is to decide whether it's not "necessary" anymore?

[i_am_tbjxii]

Around pre-teen years

[i_am_tbjxii]

Just before 13 which is the age were they can usually take full responsibility for their actions.

[scooogy]

Forget it, you seem to not be able to read questions properly.

[LuvAsh]

I don't think it's abusive

[i_am_tbjxii]

Sometimes its needed

[Zerstörer]

Why not go a step further and hit them? :^)

[i_am_tbjxii]

If you tell your kid something twice and they don’t listen what are you gonna do?

[Zerstörer]

Threaths ^^

[Zerstörer]

And prove your ability to enforce them

[i_am_tbjxii]

Spankings are a last resort to something bad they never done before.

[Zerstörer]

It depends on how bad. If something is really bad spankings may be deserved. There are alternative ways. A normal kid should already punish themself with bad emotions that prevent it from happening again

[i_am_tbjxii]

Yeah that’s what I mean like fighting a sibling and they continue to hit their brother and sister because they might’ve played with their toy.