Can getting molested so young and abused by your mother make you act evil?

[Anonymous]

It's been a while since I haven't seen a psychologist for update due to the pandemic. Sometimes this had been wondering.

At age 10: I served a couple months on a juvenile detention center but then got transferred to a mental health institute. I did terrible things. They had me there for conduct disorder and my description was ''a child with callous and unemotional traits''.

Then at the age of 15 (a year before my release), I confided on my childhood psychologist and finally told my story. I had been molested many times by different guys; starting at age 6 and the last one happening days before my arrest. My mother used to beat me sometimes too. I didn't realize the molestation was that bad since it didn't seem like I was forced into it. In my mind I thought what I was doing was normal. I thought it was normal to talk about sex with classmates. It was like a power trip at the time. Hurting smaller kids and living things (then laughing and smiling afterwards) made me feel strong.

If all that happens to a child at such an early age, can it distort the brain/mind to the point the child acts does terrible things and acts evil?

[Iron_Man]

And some people but you had to overcome adjust and adapt sick Out professional help and pray about it

[Asker]

I'll eventually set up an appointment when they have one available. I'm still on the waiting list.

[Iron_Man]

Good and God bless you

[NewZion]

Dunno. I sure as hell am more sexual now and try really hard not to think about that past shit (shudders/shakes head back to reality).

[Asker]

At the time, my mind didn't even registered it as molestation. I thought getting molested was when a child is screaming and the adult is forcing the act. It wasn't like that. They used to smooth talk me into it and did it in such a way that I was able to realize it was molestation until I was in my teens.

[NewZion]

Haven't talk to a lot of folks openly about it. But it's usually more subtle than violent for sure. As a I didn't think about it either. Mine was done while I was asleep or very groggy in the morning.

[NewZion]

*As a kid

[Asker]

When I realized it was molestation, I hated and blamed them all for what they did. A couple of them are rotting in prison but not all of them. I recalled crying and feeling rage for the first time ever when I told my psychologist (I was 15 by then) at the time.

[NewZion]

Must have had mixed emotions. I doubt folks who've experienced molestation would completely forget. I sure as hell try. Keep pushing sister, and don't let those memories get you too down if you can help it.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't make you evil; but it makes you more likely to turn to evil.

[Kaneki05]

Yup for sure can and looks like it already has.

[Asker]

I assume they must have already known (before my revelation) that I was a product of a bad enviroment. I'm saying this because at the time, even with that bad description... most of them thought I had traits of a sociopathic child but not psychopathic.
That means I was able to be rehabilitated because I wasn't born bad. I was made by constant torment in my life.

[Kaneki05]

No one is born bad. Who we are and what we do is all because of are experiences they change us. And most people with any kind of mental illness are trauma related. And yes they may have impacted you to be psychopathy or whatever. But even then you can still change. Not fully and never maybe to "Normal" But fundamentally you still control what you do and how you act.

[Asker]

It took me so long to figure out it was molestation. I thought it was only molestation if it was done in a violent manner towards the child. I don't recalled ever crying or screaming when those guys did those things to me. They were smooth talkers and did it in such a manner that I didn't notice.
Then when I was 15, I started crying suddenly when revealing that to the psychologist and felt hate and rage towards them. I wanted them to all rot in prison. I wanted them to pay for what they did. Only a couple of them are locked up.

True. I'll never be completely normal but I actually do look back and regret all those things I did back then.