My child's father is sleeping with his own cousin, what do I do?

[alackeyb22]

So me and my baby's father has been together for a rocky 3 years. We tried planning our lives together which consisted of me moving to Alabama with him and his family with our son to raise him together, however, it only lasted for 36 days because just last week i came back to Cleveland Ohio to stay with my family. During my time there, things started off perfect but then got extremely rocky. His attitude changed, he became extremely disrespectful, he started hanging out a lot and always left me home with the baby by myself. Most of his family was nice but then there were a couple that wasn't. After things went bad, I took my son and left. Shortly after getting back, despite how things ended we still kept communication for the sake of our son and agreed that we'd remain civil. One night I decided to call him and update him on our 9 month old who had just came down with a bad cold. He didn't answer my call but then called me back hours later when he was around his male cousins. For some reason, something told me to investigate. I still had access to his messenger from when we were together as a way to "prove" to me that I could trust him. When I signed in I so happened to find these messages between him and and his 17 year old cousin, the daughter of his father's brother. Mind you after doing the math, all this took place during the time I was trying to call him. I never in my life would have ever suspected any of this while down there. This girl watched and held my child. My child's father is 23. After approaching him about it I told him that I wanted to cut off all contact permanently and now he's threatening to fight me in court for joint custody. In Alabama, age of consent is ofc 18, so not only is it incest, but pedophilia. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Do what I do. Wait for him to come home, on the bed with your head down and ass up, put a uttplugg or dildo into your vagina and tell him to put it up you butt. Have lube ready, butter works in a pinch.
You might want to try anal by yourself. I rub my clit while doing it.
Oh make your butt is clean and you haven't had a big meal recently. I had a serious accident while doing anal with a one night stand while drunk, the sheets got covered in crap as did he. Thankfully he used his credit card.
A good tip i find is too while in the shower unscrew the shower head and stick the hosepipe up your butt with the water on ( not too hot or cold) and let the water fill up your anal cavity until you've an extreme urge to poop, run to the toilet quick as you can and let all the water out along with any poop. It takes a while and just when you think your done pooping more comes out. Do this 2-3 times, be sure to shower yourself down after when your sure your done pooping the water out because that water drips out of your butt still and stinks

[SouthernSweet]

I'm not sure about elsewhere, but in my state, if the parent in possession of primary custody lives more than 200 miles from the other parent, the non-custodial parent is the one responsible for getting to and from that child for visits. I would immediately apply for child support. That will grant you some ground to stand on. Use those screenshots. It may not be illegal in his state, but check yours. If it is illegal in your state, you can use it as grounds to keep them both from your child.

[Tyrael]

That is absolutely wild. It's a pity he hasn't actually broken any Alabama laws however. I'd cut that guy off all the same.

[SouthernSweet]

Actually he has. The screenshots show that the 17 year old was rubbing him. Thats sexual physical contact. And is plenty enough to be tried and convicted. Not to mention the entirety the conversation is grounds for enticing a minor with intent to seduce using the internet. I know someone who went to prison for having a conversation like that with a minor.

[SouthernSweet]

Nevermind. I kept reading and saw the age of consent there.

[Tyrael]

Yeah, she's over 16 so he's done nothing wrong in the laws eyes I'm afraid.

[SouthernSweet]

Glad I don't live there. I want my kids protected as long as possible.

[alackeyb22]

Well since I live in Cleveland what are my rights and laws because i really do not want him around my son. He smokes marijuana illegally, he is completely incapable of caring for a child due to many other reasons besides this, like come on now

[SouthernSweet]

Do you have proof of any of your allegations? If not, it's just hearsay.

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet his father's girlfriend is proof and witness I've been trying to contact her

[SouthernSweet]

But would she stand up in court and say that? Most people won't go to court to say a guy smokes weed because they were probably doing it too.

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet why tf are you questioning me as though I'm the goddamn guilty one when I've been taking care of my son on my own since he's been out of the womb? I CAN put him on child support because he barely gives shit as is but I've been trying to be nice as well as independent and responsible enough to take care of my own damn child. Rather it be a poly test, a drug test or whatever cause the mf smokes more than he does anything else AND LIES. I'm not fucking crazy or else I wouldn't even be posting

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet I don't even want money from him the only thing that I want is for him to LEAVE ME AND MY CHILD ALONE permanently

[SouthernSweet]

I'm just trying to be as helpful as possible. I've been in a similar situation. I helped my sister gain custody of her kids after her ex cheated on her with a minor. I'm glad that you are able to do it on your own. But the child support is to establish boundaries for him. Putting him on child support cements your position as primary caregiver and as custodial parent. You want that. Until then, there is no custody order and because he is the father, he can LEGALLY come and take the child from your arms and leave with him.

[SouthernSweet]

As far as the drugs, if it's not able to be proven beyond doubt, they won't even test him. That's why i asked that.

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet I see what you mean. I feel powerless... is there anything I can do

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet or is there anything that I should do?

[SouthernSweet]

As I've said, your first step needs to be establishing a child support order.

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet ok then I'm definitely doing that. He's a huge liar. Mind you when I go back into his messages, that entire thread is deleted and even when I approached him he COMPLETELY denied everything as though I was crazy and as though he didn't get caught. I saw another thread of him talking to a friend making it seem as though I'm making up the situation and questioned rather or not if he can "prove" that I "edited these texts". So he's trying to cover up, blackmail me and take my child even though he doesn't even has the ability nor even wants to take care of him! This is insane

[SouthernSweet]

Very few judges will take a child from a mother who has a job and a support system. On top of that, you have his messages. Know any good hackers? You could go into hers and screenshot there too. She's young and doesn't know to hide stuff yet. Kidding. Don't do that. But, definitely keep what you have. Just in case he does decide that he wants to go to court. Because you have the child, he would have to come to your jurisdiction. While his actions may not be illegal, it is morally wrong. And most judges, even in his state, will view it that way.

[alackeyb22]

@SouthernSweet thank you so so much. At least there's some hope I guess. I'm going to need years of therapy after all this shit.
But thank you so much. I'm so sorry for being aggressive. This really is very frustrating to go through and I never understood it until now by me finally having my own child and now experiencing it

[SouthernSweet]

I can imagine.

[Liam_Hayden]

Nothing. Here are the state by state laws on first cousin marriage.

www.reddit.com/.../

[Liam_Hayden]

Also Alabama's age of consent is 16, not 18.

[Anonymous]

From what I can tell, Alabama state law prohibits relationships between ancestors and descendants, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, but not cousins. He is not in violation of incest laws in the state of Alabama. You also seem to be mistaken on the age of consent within Alabama. State law set the age of consent at 16.

Being that no crime has been committed, as defined by Alabama state law, there is nothing you can do.

[alackeyb22]

You're right, but I still have the right to make sure that I do everything to keep my child safe and with this situation I absolutely do not feel comfortable with him around them. That's just me personally rather it is a crime or not

[Opinion Owner]

Of course, it is your right to do so. However, if he does decide to fight you in court over it, he will almost certainly win. There is no legal ground for denying him the ability to see his child. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of that before you waste any time, money, or cause yourself or child any unnecessary stress.

[alackeyb22]

So what the hell can I do? Cause I don't want him near me

[Opinion Owner]

Legally? Nothing. Illegally? Kidnapping, a felony offense, and fleeing to a foreign nation outside of America's jurisdiction and ability to recover the kidnapped child.

[RoastedToast]

Sweet home Alabama 😂 uh oh.

[alackeyb22]

Lollll exactly it's sickening but ig now I can laugh

[Anonymous]

Turn over this info to the his uncle and the local police.

[nikooo0ooo]

LMFAO HE LIVES IN ALABAMA TOO, WOW.

[DizzyDesii]

Disgusting. Dont hookup with him ever again

[Avicenna]

You need legal advice

[bklynbadboy1]

Dump him and move on