Why is 18 considered an adult?

[Anonymous]

The brain difference between a 17 year old and 18 year old are exactly the same. There is no difference. So why are 18 year olds considered an adult? I just turned 18 a week ago and suddenly I'm sexualized by some of my online friends who are in their 20s, and they knew me since I was 17. And suddenly I've been given all these responsibilities and I'm not allowed to do anything immature anymore, I'm not even allowed to watch kids cartoons why? why.

I get that 18 year old is when you finish school and go into the adult life but I'm still in lockdown, I can't experience the adult world and I'm scared too, I've seen people always dying on the news and stuff like that and disgusting shit so why would I want to explore the outside world, and probably get drugged at some pub I go to or whatever. The day I turned 18, mum took me to a casino and it was the most uncomfortable experience of my life, I'm not trying to say I'm still a child I'm not but why is 18 consider the age that you're an adult when its very similar to being 17.

And what about all the minors that dropped out of school and have their own apartments like 16 year olds in my country are allowed to have their own apartments and can drop out of school for instance. Also in my country 16 is the age of consent so... And even if in most places its 18, its still like what if the 18 year old still isn't ready to have sex.

What exactly makes an adult an adult, shouldn't it be at least 20 where you become an adult? even thats quite young but the brain is quite developed by 20, but by 25 thats when its fully developed into an adult. I don't know just thinking about how weird it is for a 35 year old to date a recently turned 18 year old... like its a bigass age difference but no one would call it grooming because 18 is the age of an adult...

Updates

+1 y

by the way in my country you can drink at 16 and you can drive at 16

[SteveSmith1985]

Who told you you shouldn't watch cartoons?

I discovered SpongeBob SquarePants when I was at least 28 years old---and I think it's GREAT. If somebody wants to judge that... they can kiss my Bikini Bottom.

Now... here's the BIG Secret. You don't ever FEEL like that fully-responsible, got-it-together adult you assume you haven't reached yet at 18. You will look at yourself at 25 and not "feel" like you should be considered an adult all that much more than you do now.

I have had conversations with people about this... people I grew up with now talking in our mid and late 20's... where we marveling about not feeling like we're adults yet. These people had kids and were professionals doing well in their fields.

They were living a life that WAS as adult as it gets, but still were like "what the fuck... sometimes I have to remind myself I'm supposed to be an adult."

So, you are correct that considering an adult to begin at 18 is arbitrary. It could possibly be any of the ages you made a case for. There is no difference in anything the day you turn 18.

Your friends who changed how they relate to you after your birthday... are straight-up being shitty to you. I guess it depends on exactly what you mean by 'sexualized' you... but that sounds like shitty people to me. . I'm sorry.

So, we (as a society) have said 18 means your an adult for many things legally because we have (rather arbitrarily) said "This is the age at which we can no longer justify restricting you from...(whatever)_... because we feel like you have the capacity TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS."

Again, that really just is for "legal" stuff. Where they had to draw the line somewhere, and that's where they drew it. Arbitrarily. That's why it's 21 in some places for some things, 19 in other places. It's that the line had to be drawn somewhere.

You are under a serious misunderstanding about what it means to be "an adult" at 18. It means you are considered old enough to make a dumb decision and potentially suffer the (legal) consequences.

It does not mean that all of a sudden you should find guys you thought were only friends making sexual advances towards you.

As a 36 year old guy, I can tell you that while it might be LEGAL for me to have sex with an 18 year old. It isn't socially acceptable, and everyone would kind of see it as..."allowed but a bit icky".

Maybe the most important thing is when you asked "what if an 18 year old still isn't ready to have sex"

You always maintain the same right to decide to say "no" when it comes to sex. Always. Anywhere at ANY age.

Nobody ever has to have sex unless they're ready.

Anyone can say no. "consent" in the case of turning 18 simply means that you have the INDEPENDENCE TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF that you WANT to have sex with this old man.

Younger than 18, and that adult is considered to have committed a crime because you are deemed too young to make your own decision.

Don't worry... people DO NOT actually think of someone who is 18 or 19 (or 22 for that matter) to be "an adult" in the same way they do a 35 or 45 year old. It's just the legal line. People my age DO call people your age "kids" (just sometimes we try not to in front of you to not hurt your feelings).

Listen. You're gonna be ok. This worry of yours will seem really funny to you looking back on it later. I promise. Because it's unnecessary.

Don't worry... what you're feeling is pretty normal. It's not as bad or as drastic as you think.

Casinos are not good for anybody.
Also, you're more likely to have a good time at the pub than get drugged.

[ChrisMaster69]

It used to be 21 in most places.

then it was lowered to 18.

in progressive 21st century countries they even recognise the move through the teens.

12 , 14, 16 and 18

there has to be some reference for laws and regulations.

at times it’s a number at times it’s a large red flag and warning

[MrOracle]

"It used to be 21 in most places."

LOL, no it didn't. That might have once been a common VOTING age, but that wasn't the age you were considered an adult. In fact, the age you were considered an adult has historically been quite a bit younger.

Different cultures have had "coming of age" ceremonies, and for men, the age has usually been somewhere between 12 and 16 until into the 20th Century. Even the concept of adolescence - a transitionary period between child and adult - has only been around since the 1950s. Prior to that, once you hit the magic age (16 for males in the US and most of western Europe was the norm from around 1500-1900), you were considered a full adult, and could buy property, enter into contracts, and be charged as an adult for crimes.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

It's just the legal age cutoff (in the places where 18 is considered an adult, anyway). You're correct that there is almost no mental difference between 17 and 18. As a matter of fact, when one becomes a "real adult" isn't even so much about age, as there are people who never grow up no matter how old they get. 18 is just the age where you are legally allowed to do more, responsible for more, etc. There has to be a cutoff somewhere.

I know the adult world seems scary when you're just about to enter it, but it really isn't that bad at all. As a matter of fact, I love being an adult so much more than I loved being a kid or teen, because with more responsibility comes more privileges. I love owning my own home and car, making my own decisions, paying for my own things, etc. Being an adult gives you so much more control over your life, which in turn means there is much less standing in the way of you doing the things you want (within reason, of course) and becoming who you want to be. Becoming an adult is very intimidating at first, but is really so great in my opinion. Yes, you have to be responsible and make good decisions in order to have a good adult life (which in my opinion, isn't really that hard, it just requires being realistic and disciplined, and being aware of the consequences of not doing what you need to do), but you have your complete freedom and independence. I also like the adult world SO much better than high school. Adults are generally nicer than high school kids (obviously there are exceptions, but there will always be an ass in every crowd), and the work environments I've been in have been so much better as well.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being an adult and enjoying things you enjoyed as a kid, though. We never truly "grow up" in the sense that we don't still enjoy certain things from our childhood or simple things, nor should we. There are tons of adults who still watch cartoons, play children's games, etc. If it's not hurting anyone including yourself, what's the big deal? There might be young adults who try to make you feel like less of an adult for it (and for other things), but those are just kids trying really hard to act grown up and mature. Enjoy your life however you see fit!

For what it's worth, I also think it's weird for a 35-year-old to want to date an 18-year-old, because there is a huge difference in life stages, as well as typically a power imbalance (as on average, a 35-year-old tends to be a lot more independent, has a lot more life experience, and is typically more financially stable than an 18-year-old). I do think most significantly older people who chase barely legal teens like the fact that they tend to be more impressionable and easy to manipulate and take advantage of.

[NaomiKey1992]

Awesome response

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@NaomiKey1992 Thank you! :)

[IveGotNoName]

Because some age has to. Some people are grown up at 18, some aren't. But then again, some people aren't even grown up at 25... there has to be a line, and it just so happens that 18 is that line

[Asker]

Why can't 20 be the line, a 20 year olds brain is significantly more developed than a 18 year olds.

[IveGotNoName]

We can't base it off of that, because then boys would have to become adults later than girls

[ChiPaPa]

It's been different throughout history and culture. Ancient Rome had two ages 14-17 and then 25 for full adulthood for men. Women could be married off as young as twelve.
If you're talking about the US, most states had it at 21 and then went to 18 for all.
The conscription into the military, especially in WW2 was a start and then in
1971, the federal voting age was lowered to 18.

[MrKinktastic]

Because there had to be a line somewhere and 18 is the one they drew for consent in America where the majority of tv/pop culture comes from in the western world. So it became the de facto norm.

[AviatorTom]

It's arbitrary, but some age had to be picked. 18 is usually when you're no longer in school, starting to get out on your own, and starting to be self-sufficient, so it's a reasonable choice.

[Manchild2018]

I don't believe there is any difference between a 17 or 18 yr old to be honest but if someone of legal age decides to date an older person that is not grooming it is still 2 consenting people.

[JohnE_62]

I think because of the draft back in WW 1 and 2 and the Vietnam war, they were drafting young men at 18, and the right to vote, I guess it sort of stuck because of it all.

[Retiever]

I personally think it is because it’s the age most people graduate.

[jimmy2]

Been that way for a long time. I think it because the age you can go to war

[Zlantur2]

It's just the laws. If you feel ready at 16 or 20 it's up to you

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Why does 16 seem far more older than 15?

[Jintendo18]

Should be 25.