Do you "embrace" or "fear" getting older?

Question

Today would of been my husband's 55th birthday, but instead he died 2 months before his 47th birthday... I say embrace and enjoy getting older, not everybody gets that chance... And it was my mom's and my grandma's birthday yesterday, My mom just turned 73 and my grandma 94 ...

InventorofWarp · Accepted Answer

"Not everyone gets that chance". Jesus that hits home. Makes me think about how Alysa never even made it out of her teens and here I am. Sorry for your loss by the way.

I do fear it a lot because, I want an older woman as a girlfriend/wife no matter what, but everyone's always had sex and had relationships by the time they're in high school so by my age she's had tons and now she's 40 or 45 and has been having sex and getting whispered sweet nothings since she was younger than me probably for as long as I've been alive and I've... never had either.
And it always makes me think about like "will she still enjoy calling me 'boy' and
'kid' and joking about it with me and think of me as the hot younger guy? At what age will she finally think it's all weird, 26, 27? At what age can I no longer be called 'kid' or 'boy'?".
It's ironic because a lot of the kids, who are typically between 10-18, I counsel as a Youth Pastor always, A: Actually seem to assume I'm a lot younger than I am (they appear to think I'm in my early-20s as opposed to my mid-20s). And, B: Seem to think that even 35 is really young, presumably because most of their parents are actually over 45 or 50 and seem to be getting older and older (my parents HAD me in their mid-30s whereas most of the parents of my friends as a boy were mid-30s to mid-40s). So this always surprises me that they see 25-35 as young. The odd few think 20 is old and the odd few think 45 and 50 are still young.
For some reason getting that from kids is kinda validating.
Also the number of girls I counsel who also have a crush on me and occasionally call me "cutie", "sweetheart", "handsome" or a "sweet boy" also tells me that even if you're older someone can see you as that and think of you that way. For the record, no, I don't look at the girls I counsel or ever intend on acting on it and I definitely don't entertain their little comments to me. But, I won't lie, it is kinda nice in just a precociously adorable and sweet kinda way to know they think of me as a cute/hot guy or a "sweet kid/boy".

Lliam · Accepted Answer

There is no point in living in fear. It makes us miserable and has no benefit.
People who look on the bright side are much happier. Instead of focusing on what we don't have or what we have lost, why not look around and be grateful for the ability to enjoy what's around us? Aging is like that. We can focus on the loss of certain aspects of youth, or we can embrace the good things that age brings. What about experience and wisdom?

Fear of the future is fear of the unknown. Why fear what "might" happen instead of thinking of all the good possibilities? I think optimism manifests good opportunities.

As a child, I couldn't wait to get older. And as a teen, I thought anyone over 30 was old.
But guess what, if you don't die, you age. It just sneaks up on you as life passes.

There are things I don't like about being "older", but there are aspects of it that rock. I can't change reality, so all I can do is go with it and be grateful, not only for what I have, but for all the experiences I have had in my life. There have been ups and downs but I have had so much fun and will continue to do so. I consider myself fortunate to have made it this far, and I'm not done yet. :-)

Minxxie · Accepted Answer

I try not to fear it but it's really hard in a culture that fetishizes youth so much, especially female youth, and demonizes older women. I mean, the biggest porn category is "teen" and adult female models are considered old because the ideal age to model is 12-16 instead of 25-35. We literally have children modeling in bridal catalogs and nobody finds it weird.

The human brain doesn't finish development until between the ages of 25-26 but that's also when people will learn your age and start implying that you are "getting old". ... Even though you literally JUST stopped growing. I know that being an older woman negatively impacts most aspects of your life, especially your career, ESPECIALLY if you want to change careers, and that's what scares me, not that actual aging so much.
I also feel like misogyny has blinded many men from the beauty of older women because youth is so fetishized. And the reason youth is so fetishized is that the younger than woman the easier she is to control and groom.

I think if humans were taken out of the cultural structure we live in right now a LOT more people would naturally be drawn to older women. I'm bisexual and I find a lot of older women attractive so it confuses me that the way they look is so demonized. I just know that it is, and I'm not looking forward to dealing with the consequences of that personally.

Ailito · Accepted Answer

Personally I'd hate to live past 40.
I'm 28 right now. And I honestly never in my youth, think that I'd live this long.
Nor did I want to. I thought I would die around my 25th year.

Idky
... yes I do.
Honestly there are more then a few reasons why I dont want a long life.

I'm not afraid of death. A little unsure and nervous about the afterlife or whatnot.
But not of death.

I am afraid of pain though. So hopefully I die either quick or painless.

😥🔄😅 Not probable, but I can hope.

WhiteSteve · Answer

Sorry for your loss🙏 That’s a good way to look at aging. I’d say I fear aging though, because most of my personal value comes from athleticism and hopefully a reasonable degree of attractiveness. Like everything I enjoy is dependent on being young and hedonistic, haha, I’ve never felt like old age had anything for me. So the idea of not being able to play sports absolutely guts me, that’s my raison d’être. I’m thankful because most people are done after high school, and I’m still ballin’ (puckin’?😂) in my 40s. But if the next twenty years fly as fast as the last twenty did…. YIKES, I’m on borrowed time. Also, when pretty young ladies start calling me “sir”, it might be time to swan dive off the Tobin Bridge, Charles Stewart style (anyone old enough for that reference?😅). I’m not there yet, actually some young ladies at a concert eye-F’d the shit outta me a few months back, not that they’d have continued talking to me when they found out I’m old enough to be more fit to hang out with their dad😂, but it was just good to know I still pass enough for a young’un if you don’t get too close to see the crow’s feet lmfao.

But yeah, I’m trying to recalibrate the way I feel about all this, but I’m not a family man, WhiteSteve’s life is all about the greater glory of WhiteSteve, lmao, so I’m not really sure what to fulfill myself with when sports success and female attention are out of the question🤷‍♂️

ohshee · Answer

The best part about getting older is we Embrace everything even fear.
For me I'm the same person I was when I was when I was when I was when I was twenty. But I think sometimes I'm starting to stutter I think I'm also going through puberty because I think my voice is starting to crack. if I could turn my head far enough to see I think I even have a crack in my ass now that's old but it is what it is. They say we get wiser with age. No I don't know if I should fear that, or embrace it. I think about going to fear anything it's going to be that I stop experiencing new things or even old things, but in a new way. And I think the only other thing I would fear is not find you all the answers I'm looking for and if that's the case I'm going to embrace all of the answers that I have
I'm truly sorry for your loss because I can feel your pain and you're loneliness missing your best friend.. for some reason you celebrate our time here with our birthdays in years but it's only a moment in time and there's never enough of it

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

I don't fear of getting older. I like it, i look good compares to others whom are at my age (2 years plus/minus) too. I habe seen men who plant fix their hair, looks like a fucking barbie head. I have seen men at their 30's dey their hair, maximum patheticness and minus 100 self confidence. Some women said that beard is like makeup, so asked if they don't wah their faces, will makeup get thicker on their faces? Yeah! I think not. Am getting white hairs on my beard (on the sides only) and it's freaking awesome.

Bricealan · Answer

My view is this, "Brains". I have to be the best I can be at any age, and that includes, mentally and physically. For that reason, any thinking person should plan for whatever it takes to meet those goals. I have exercised my entire life, most of the time very vigorously, kept my weight in check, flexibility, and muscle strength accordingly. I intend to keep that as long as physically possible.
So, to answer your question, I suppose it is a combination of both 'fear' AND "embrace" because we never know what may happen to us, in the future, and all we can do is 'prepare' for what is next in our life.
BTY, "brains AND beauty" Merry Christmas!

Bruce

Anonymous · Answer

Hate it. Nothing good about it. Everything breaking down sooner or later, and respect from others worse especially from just out of diapers snot-nosed teens and millennials.

I was a model and thought life would always be great. Well one look in the mirror now and that settles that. LOL No aging gracefully does not work, neither does the grey hair, the wrinkles, the extra layers on my tummy well everywhere actually!! No not thrilled at 70 and the best thing I guess is I do not try to look younger as older people that do that to me anyway look worse. So natural is my deal. My hubby is 82 and people all the time do not believe it , he looks in his early 60's. I hate him.. LOL

humanearth · Answer

Im fighting it, by still trying to out work 20 somethings. Yeah I did not learn my lesson when I went into the ER with a breathing problem.

Only if the 20 somethings worked as hard as me. I wouldn't have to push myself like a 20 year old

Like today I made firewood. Started at 7am and just finished at 6:30pm.

Yes that includes spliting the wood with a splitting maul.

Had to get it done before the freezing rain comes tonight.

Made 7 full cords

My 20 something kids kept on needing a break. All I took was lunch

Todays kids are wimps to hard work

ChiTown33 · Answer

I don't fear getting older so much as I fear not being whole. Not being able to take care of myself.
I got a taste of that this year when I had surgery and it was determined it wasn't safe for me to go home because I had stairs and I couldn't walk. I'm very prideful and I'd rather die than ask for help. I would exasperate the physical therapy nurses because I wanted to get up and run when it was barely advisable to walk. They kept saying they like my enthusiasm but do it safely. I told them I only got 2 speeds STOP and ALL OUT. They had to beat it into my head that's why I was in the hospital. The last year has been a real eye opener for me. I'm not going to handle getting old very well because I'm stubborn and don't like to admit defeat on ANYTHING.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I just brace it and get old I will be 54 on Feb 9th, 2022, My late mom would be going on 77 on Feb 21, 2022, and my maternal grandma would be 109, on April 2022... My maternal grandparents did everything for us... We were closest to them but my paternal grandparents had one son who they treated like gold and did everything for them and we were like shit... One year my maternal grandparents gave of all $50.00 for Christmas and my sister spent it on a new coat that had fur and my paternal grandma made a smart comment right on Christmas day to my sister... When my maternal grandparents took sick I helped care for them including grandma with dementia and grand-dad and I remember cleaning his whole house but they did for us when we were down and out I remember was losing the house and my grand-dad saved it for us... Yes, I fear getting old maybe completely losing my mind or some other illness

Leonharted · Answer

I subscribe to Stoicism. I neither fear nor welcome getting old or dying. I simply accept that its largely outside of my control. I may extend my life with a healthy diet and regular exercise, but I will still age and die. A Stoic believes that concerning himself with what is outside of his control distracts him from the things that are within his control, which means focusing on them keeps him from being the best person he can be.

That's the ideal, anyways. None of my children have died. Neither has my wife. Losing them may make me fail to live up to the ideal I have set for myself.

snowboarder720 · Answer

I fear it because I won’t be able to do all the awesome things I could do when I was much younger. Though I do enjoy building my career and seeing what the future has for me later down the road.
I guess I can’t have the best of both worlds. I loved partying while I was still in school. College kicked my ass but it was worth it. Life dynamics sure do change as I grow older though. More than I had expected. I always get very sad when one of my close friends passed away. I’m also not looking forward to seeing either of my parents dying.

Tenner9 · Answer

Well my advice to anyone under the age of 40 is don't even let getting older in your brain. just get on with enjoying living life with your family and friends. When you reach your 40s you don't have to embrace, fear or even bother thinking about getting older. From the moment of birth there is only one absolute guarantee in life and that is death. Only human life has the ability and awareness of their immortality. Its thinking, learning, talking and listening about death a person starts to understand their immortality and except that they will die in the future. Death is just as important as life is and should embraced as much as life is because without death there could never be life.

Adam_INTJ · Answer

I fear it. I'm basically paranoid about the future.

●I diet against obesity
●I work out to fight alzheimers, loss of muscle mass, and cardiac disease
●I use minoxidil to fight baldness
●I have a thorough dental hygiene routine to prevent dental disease
●I pursue professional development and started a roth IRA last year to save against my potential poverty in old age.
●I'm obsessive about finding a wife before we're too old to have the delights of a young marriage.

Age comes with the results of past choices and a loss of potential to reverse their consequences. Decide well today, because regardless of its size or your decision, it will effect on the rest of your life, no matter how little you notice.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Have never live in fear and nicer will.
I age gracefully with love and wisdoms to share with those I love.
no retreats and each is a née day and née adventures. I have a lot to look forward to and a lot more to learn and to give.
I hope many feel the same and not waste their time.

LrningthisLife · Answer

embrace it for sure. In fact some elderly people seem grateful they lived years of their youth as they did in comparison to now. I don't know why that's the case but more than ever they are inspirational for youth, teaching that ages and years well-lived surpass all difficult or sad times. Much respect

doopayo · Answer

I’m sorry for your loss. I think I both embrace and fear getting older, if I’m adult I’ll have more freedom but with more freedom comes more responsibility and more responsibility is just more potential stress, I also have no idea what I want to do with my life yet

Petermorgan34 · Answer

I embrace it, You can only handle being wild and crazy so much before you mature and grow anyways. Without aging and getting older it would be a sad existence of staying the same without growth. I embrace getting older and gaining wisdom that I can hopefully pass on to the younger generation. Plus we will be young again either in the afterlife, or next life

Moose304 · Answer

I think, therefore I am! As long as I can think clearly I am Ok with my life. I am 63. I have taken very good care of my body and stay physically fit. I guess I have experienced every emotion known to mankind. I'm happy with my life and when it ends I will be OK. I don't worry about what I can't control. Right now I am watching a 35-year-old lady sitting crossed-legged on my couch doing a word puzzle. Life is good!

Fireguy17 · Answer

No.
I did a lot of stupid stuff when I was younger, and I figured the lord had a plan in mind for me because he could of had me way too many times.
I have no clue what that was, but I have spent 39 years in the fire/ems service so maybe that was it.
Hopefully I still have many years to go.
Every day is a gift, and the only way I got this old was living long enough to get this old.

Anonymous · Answer

HELL NOO.. EWWWW.
I know it's inevitable and that's the reason I hate this life. Nothing good lasts forever.
I wanted to be forever 5 but when I turned 17 I felt so old like grandma.
Next year I'll be 23 but feel like near 30's and being old.

whosDmann · Answer

Well, this is 1 of those, at this point in life I'm having to be real with myself and accept and try and embrace that it is inevitable.. I believe there was a bit of... fear to an extent... I look at older people and some can hardly see or walk , can't drive... and I've played sports and am as active as possible, I just would like to find that fountain of youth.. . And sorry to hear about your loss..

Anonymous · Answer

Both. I won't deny that I make everything is possible not to age like a mummy, I exercise as much as possible, eat healthy food and bla bla bla... But I know that getting old is inevitable, you don't beat Kronos, you accept that life is short and do whatever you can to have a happy life.

ItsOnlyMe70 · Answer

I try and not think about it and just live, the things I did growing up into my 20's and early 30s, i made it to 50 is all I can say is thank you to the man upstairs, it sucks some don't get the chance to live out full lives but can't think about getting old just live, like the man said get busy living or get busy dying, just stay busy living, don't think about old, just live

Anonymous · Answer

Neither, I just go with it. I recently turned 40 but I don't feel any different than when I was say 24. But since then I was that old I started living a really healthy lifestyle so that might be part of it.

Although you could say I recently felt turning 40 on my boobs if you know what I mean (i. e. 40 lbs of pressure).

GingerGuy · Answer

Fear I guess. Not so much getting older itself, but the possible health issues that go with it. But at the same time, they could happen anytime and you really have no control over it. But just knowing things can happen is enough sometimes. I think very few "embrace" it. There's not much to look forward to with it lol. Other than retirement!!!

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

I fear it, as I'm probably going to go bold.

I do a lot for my looks, so not something I'd want TBH, although it would be interesting to see how I age, given the amount of effort I put into my appearance, without trying to sound vain.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I am more afraid of missing out on things while young than getting older as certain things you can do when your younger not older. Like having kids.

On a side note, I have a gamer friend, who says we don't get older. We gain levels. I'm not into games, but I at least know what that means.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't like getting older because I didn't have any fun whatsoever when I was young, isolated, depressed and most of all penniless.
I want to enjoy life like a young, happy, free and energetic animal. I am catching up to it very f***ing slowly.
I am not ready for my age to be increased by 1 every year.
Most of all I missed out on young love (teenage, 20s love).

Julielamar2 · Answer

Certainly I fear, I am afraid of seeing myself physically diminishing and being dependent on people who will want to help me. Would I use cosmetics etc? No. I don't judge those who do or will.

That being said, what can I do about it? Nothing. So is life. I believe in my old years I would become a stoic lol, it will surely help me to cope with the state of old age

Pink2000 · Answer

I fear getting older because I fear that one day I’m gonna be alone with everyone I loved already gone and all I’ll be able to do is reminisce on when I was young. I don’t want the health complications that come with getting old either.

LesterJester · Answer

I neither embrace or fear getting older. I just keep moving forward like I always have. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the same as I was when I was 23... Still figuring shit out and winging it.

dustybiker · Answer

Not anymore. I never did see myself getting old. Happy belated to your mom and grandma, and my thoughts are with you today. 55 in spirit!🥂

Starla1234 · Answer

F E A R  I think I have a phobia of it actually 😅 I feel like I haven’t experienced enough yet, and the years are ticking away.

Honeyyyi · Answer

I do fear but i won't get embarrassed about getting old , i would love to see my future grand children i wonder who they are sometimes lol

Avicenna · Answer

It's orthogonal to anything I do, and I live my life not worrying about my age.

SphynxUK · Answer

I wouldn’t say I embrace it. I just get on with it. We all age. It’s natural.  I like being this age and I’m fine with ageing.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Just time running out, as most guys don't live very long.

Even a lot of my classmates or old friends went around 30.

Always had the aim/wish to survive at least to 40, after that, every day is a bonus. It's okay, a lot of people don't get even that, just trying to live a little quicker.

t-8900 · Answer

I dont want to die. But if I had to go just put on a hour of the latest in American politics and I'll gladly embrace the sweet release of death.

sage2021 · Answer

I fear it. I'm already old and it sucks. It happened so fast too. Nothin' I can do about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

I am trying to embrace it but mostly I hate the hell out of it.

sensible27 · Answer

(i fear not living more than I fear death possibly)

Tomtom9494 · Answer

I was never attractive so aging doesn’t bother me, I can see how beautiful / handsome individuals may fear and do whatever they can to slow the process out of fear of losing all that their looks granted them

McKellar · Answer

Fear of getting old? No. Big time excited & stoked about getting old,... no.
Can a rewind back the clock? Unfortunately not.
Accept this anyway regardless if I feel great about this or not? ... well it's not like I have a choice unfortunately.

I_want_a_moustache · Answer

The only thing that scares me about getting older is that I'll have too many responsibilities. I'm waiting for my inevitable mental breakdown so I just hope it doesn't happen then because no one will care. Other than that getting old sounds like it could be a good time to take up new hobbies.

normalice · Answer

Neither, really. It's just a fact of life. The key is to adapt to whatever age you find yourself.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If I was older and I would want to have lots of family and friends and possibly kids too

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Embrace I guess. There's no way to stop it so might as well just accept it lol

Wester1967 · Answer

Take a long drag of your cigarette. Grab death by the collar. Pull him close and exhale all your smoke in his face.

KatherineJ · Answer

Ask me after January. Right now I’m embracing it. But as that big “40” is coming, I have my doubts and fears.

Likes2drive · Answer

Only if I’m not getting older with family or someone special, , I hope to be around a long time to see my kids accomplish many things and to accomplish my goals too

Lynx122 · Answer

I don't care. All the things I wanna work on in my life don't have anything to do with my age. I'm still fully healthy and can do anything I want to so I'm not limited by my age. I do deal better with some things because of my experience but in my head that's not really connected to age either it's more the things I've gone through. So I'm pretty neutral on the whole thing :D

PaganWarrior · Answer

Doesn't matter because no matter what, I'll get old. That's life.

jshm2 · Answer

Neither. It's one of those daft things people needlessly worry about. You will die when you do, just as you will grow to the height you will - regardless of how much you worry about it.

Dnice1 · Answer

It doesn't bother me, I've blessed with looks that make people think I'm younger than I actually am. Even when I turn old I'll still look young.

Mahito · Answer

The older I get, the more smarter & better I get; that's I really need to get money & a date. So I'm too worried about my looks.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Neither really. It's a fact of life so I don't try to fight it.

LindaT1974 · Answer

Embrace it, not as if we can stop time so might as well grow old disgracefully lol

zagor · Answer

Not overly delighted about it, but for now it beats the alternative.

Wiredone · Answer

I wouldn't mind getting old if things didn't start hurting so much.

loveslongnails · Answer

I'm not afraid of it, I just don't like it all that much.

TheAfrikan · Answer

I have never feared againg simply because the more I grow I move closer to that class. And all the bet to your granny @brainsbeforebeauty.

Do you "embrace" or "fear" getting older?

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