If a man can't understand a rape victim's trauma is this a good comparison?

[CelineBV]

One time, I got into an argument with someone claiming that after a year, a rape victim should already get over it. He didn't seem to understand how traumatic that is.

I know I shouldn't have said this but this is what I told him:
How would you like it if a much stronger gay man, ugly and older than you immobilize you and stuck it in your ass? You should get over that in a year too right? I got no reply back afterwards other than a nasty stare to which I answered ''that's what I thought''.

Updates

+1 y

He got me so pissed off that I came with that example and gave him that comparison. Both are horrible acts against your will and you're unable to defend yourself, escape from the opponent.

[Rainbow_Boy]

It goes without saying that you're right, and that other person was just being a prick. Rape is a very serious trauma, whose effects many people (mostly women) carry all their lives.

I'm a gay man and got raped, so also know the feeling. It had started as consensual sex where, at some point, I wanted him to stop. He didn't. I'm quite small in size, he was much bigger and stronger, so got what he wanted. I have always thought rape was terrible, but since that day I found a stronger bond with rape victims and a better understanding of their ordeal. Now, I am much more aware of how I carry myself in public, try to be extra careful at night when I'm alone, etc. I don't think my trauma will ever truly heal, let alone getting over it in a year.

[CelineBV]

OMG I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through such a horrible ordeal. No means no. If you haven't reported him, do so now. He needs to be locked up.

[Rainbow_Boy]

Thank you so much! All my girlfriends showed the same reaction as yours. I guess it was my inexperience in the whole thing that helped him get away with what he did. With all the time passed since then, there is no way I can prove anything. But I learned my lesson in not putting myself in a position where a man can take advantage of me. Other than that, I'm counting on the measures most girls take to protect themselves in a non-sexual situation when they are alone, like carrying a mace spray, etc. One would think things should be OK for a man, but being small and weak doesn't help. And further being an effeminate gay can actually make things worse in attracting violent men.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s fair what you came out with.

i worked with a guy that beat the shit out of another guy, who had said about his daughter something similar.

On the lines of, well it’s just like rough sex, she will grow out of it.

As a parent he was not really happy with this and showed his displeasure.

[CelineBV]

Wow what an ignorant comment from that scumbag. My mind is puzzles. How can anyone be so ignorant to not know how horrific rape is?

[ChrisMaster69]

@CelineBV oh I know, the counselling centre I worked at dealt with rape counselling for guys and girls.

While some people will go on about false rape case, they detract from the numbers of guys that are raped or sexually assaulted by other guys, they number is believed to be really large due to under reporting.

[Aurora1010]

Why shouldn't you have said it? I don't see anything wrong with making that comparison, he was being an asshole

[SecretsofKB]

Well, you're comparing rape to... well rape...

So I think that qualifies a good comparison.

[CelineBV]

I was so pissed off by his ignorance. No one would be able to ''get over'' such a horrific event in a year. That would be a life trauma.

[Effably]

It is. I can see how he mighy think it is different as there is another additional layer of preference on top but really it is probably one of the better examples.

[Cubus]

Men can also get raped, especially when they are children/teenagers.

[CelineBV]

I know and that's also why I came up with the example. That jerk was only focusing on rape happening to women and that they were ''making a big deal out of it'' and that ''a year is good to get over it''. He sure had nothing to say when I told him that example.

[Astarlessnightsky]

You are comparing rape to rape, soooo i guess thats the best comparission.

[LightOfTruth]

My ex could not deal with her rape to the point that she didn't remember. Time does not heal things, work does.

[Anonymous]

That would be comparable to a woman being anally raped.

[CelineBV]

Since men don't have vagina, that's the only forceful penetration equivalent I could think of. That and the fact that I was so pissed off at his lack of understanding of how horrible rape is.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand, but being vaginally raped and anally raped are significantly different. That's all I'm saying.

[Anonymous]

Men are too busy having their lives ruined by false rape threats at least y'all got your freedom.

[SecretsofKB]

How many times have you gotten your life ruined by a false accusation? How many people do you know of personally that have had their lives ruined by false accusations?

I know it happens and it is terrible when it does, but it does not happen as often as you are implying.

[CelineBV]

Is that the only thing you can come up with? Every single time there is a question about real rape, that's all you come up with; the times it wasn't rape.

This question is pertaining to actual rape victims, those that have nightmares about it, that are in intensive therapy because of that. Did they deserve to live with that nightmare? I don't think so.

[CelineBV]

A real rape victim has freedom? Wasn't the freedom taken away already once it was done against her will?

[Opinion Owner]

Real rape might be bad but at least you get to live your lives.

[Opinion Owner]

Men everyday get locked up for false allegations

[SecretsofKB]

Every day? Seriously? Find me an official report that shows that...

The emotional damage sustained from a rape does not equal freedom. Nice try though.

[CelineBV]

So if that example I've just mentioned happened to you then ''it's bad too but at least you get to live your life''? That's rape too.

[Opinion Owner]

You literally set them up for getting anally raped for jail.

[Opinion Owner]

Getting raped in jail is worse than getting raped outside of jail.

[SecretsofKB]

@CelineBV

As tempting as it is to continue to argue with this guy, my suggestion would be to stop...

He will never agree with you as he is seemingly incapable of understanding any of this.

[CelineBV]

Then you would know the place where a rape happens changes nothing. Whether in jail, in the park, at home or elsewhere, it's still rape. It doesn't changes the fact that you got raped.

[SecretsofKB]

@CelineBV

Reasoning may not work.

[call_me_scar]

The guy is a asshole

[noohair]

Good answer.

[Anonymous]

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