What about being independent do you like?

[Valiqueen]

So I like the fact that there's freedom but it's just the part that I have to keep buying things because they are out that chokes me😩

[OpenClose]

Personally, if there is anything I need done, I like to learn how to do it first. That way help becomes a convenience, not a necessity, and I don't have to expect or demand it from others. I've had people get mad at me because I'm not available to help them with something and they are unable to do it themselves. It just feels... wrong to *need* someone to do something, and then to get mad at others because you refuse to learn yourself.

So like, I bought my first house in 2019 and immediately got to work automating it. Custom lights, sensors etc. My smart thermostat wasn't compatible, so I hacked the existing system and added sensors so I could integrate it into the rest of the system. Hacking a proprietary thermostat ended up getting me a well-paying job at the company who made it. I also had to replace the sump pump what things to look for in a good product and how to replace it myself. I'll be working on finishing the basement hopefully this summer, so that'll be diy framing, drywall, and carpet install. I wanted to do that part myself because I have a custom acoustic isolation wall design I'll be using.

When I got my first car, first thing I did was learn to change the oil, tires, transmission fluid, etc. Though the transmission was acting funny, so I took it somewhat apart and replaced the accumulator springs. And then the supercharger lost seal so my mom's boyfriend and I removed the supercharger and changed the manifold gasket. Painted it gold while we were at it.

Again, I like to know that I won't *need* someone to be there in order to function. I have little to no issues asking for help. But I like knowing I can still get the job done if it isn't available.

[CuriousThought]

People mistake independence with only doing things yourself, the best thing about independence is the freedom to ask for help.
However, for me the best thing about independence is the path ahead, its not clouded by a relationship or a social group per say, sure life changes but knowing I have the freedom towards making a life my own is the best thing. I'll never marry or have a family, but that doesn't mean I'll be unhappy. My independence means I can surround myself with everything I love in life, so that I'm content within my own 4 walls with things that make me who I am

[Youryeodongsaeng]

I like that I don't have to depend on anyone. Depending on parents is such a bother. It's more of a bother when you have siblings who are nowhere near the age of 18. And since my mom has food stamps, it takes more than an hour to get out of the grocery store because everybody else wants something that they like to eat. I am not out of the house yet, but I would like it if I could finally get my driving lessons in and get my own food stamps so i can just go to the grocery store, get what I want and leave under 20 minutes and be able to drive myself home. Plus, driving to places that I need to go to will be very handy.
Also, living alone will be much more peaceful.

[Apulu_3]

I can make my own rules. I don't have to follow anyone and limit myself. I can live my life to the fullest. No one can judge me because I will be earning my money and spending my money too. Just being independent in night time when everyone in my family are sleeping except me is so exciting so it will be so good to stay independent my whole life.

[bingbongbangbung]

Well you still have to obey the laws of the government and the rules of your workplace. And anyone in modern society has to depend on stuff like electricity, heat, internet, supply chain, etc., to function. Unless you live as a hermit in the wilderness or live off grid, you're not truly independent. And ofc there's taxes, bills, and insurance to pay for essential and luxury goods/services.

[Apulu_3]

@bingbongbangbung By that I don't mean to include politics and all. I mean personal life of course.

[Djaay]

I've always been independant and always been married at the same time. But being a independant leader is also about others that follow. If no ones following you in your independant leadership , then you're just a lkney by yourself person , not a true leader. Which means your not accually free.

[Anonymous]

Why are women so hung up on the notion of being independent? Isn't it just being a normal adult? Wouldn't you consider it odd if a guy says "I'm a strong and independent man"? Sounds like something a teenagers would say, don't you think?

[Valiqueen]

We are not hung up. And yes, it's expected of most people (in this generation) to be independent.
What I tried projecting was that being independent is expected but it's kinda of hard especially when ones just getting into it. Being an entrepreneur and a student, I very much appreciate everyone that's fully independent. Whomever the person is. Married or single, a student or not

[MzAsh]

Well, some parts of society promote the idea of women depending on a man as her provider and protector. Is independent women do get pushback from those with more traditional ideals.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh What does that have to do with women feeling the need to proclaim from the rooftops that they are a "strong independent woman" as if it is some major accomplishment? The fact there are traditionally minded people has nothing to do with that.

[MzAsh]

It’s partially to rebel against that narrative.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh So like a teenager then. Okay

[MzAsh]

It’s about establishing personal agency. Nothing wrong with this. However, I think some women could stand to say less about it and let their actions do the talking.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh How exactly does a 25 year old woman saying "I am a strong and independent woman" help establish her agency?

[MzAsh]

That alone wouldn’t, but actions would.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh SO I take it you're not going to address the actual subject here then.

[MzAsh]

I guess I’m not giving you the response you are looking for.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh You're just not responding to the actual issue at hand. But I certainly understand why you, as a woman, would be reluctant to.

[MzAsh]

What would you say is the actual issue?

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh Women who feel the need to tell everyone they are "strong and independent" have the maturity of the average teenager.

[MzAsh]

The same could be said about men who claim to be alpha or dominant. Oh well. It’s their own business what they want to call themselves. You don’t have to like it.

[Opinion Owner]

@MzAsh I'm glad we agree.

[dovendyret]

I like being responsible for my life. That includes making sure everything is stocked up, things paid on time and so on.

[Sour-rose]

I wear wtf i want and eat what i want. And depending on if that burrito had beans in it or steak that wasn't included in the description, it's best I probably not call someone over to cuddle because I need them.

[TwinkleLily5]

Being free to do what I want, not having to worry about how my actions will affect my mate, nobody else’s added stress, learning more about me as an individual, peace, free to flirt, —so fun and exciting!

[Jadethedream]

Not having to worry about the other person but focusing on yourself in a healthy way

[Kkstarzz96]

You're not really free until you can go into a car and get away anywhere you want. Compare it to when we had to lock our door as teenagers to have privacy or alone time.

[bingbongbangbung]

But if you rent a car or buy it via financing, it's not really yours which applies to most people

[Kkstarzz96]

Mines 22 years old this year. I bought it 3 years ago. She always runs and she's in my name after a year of purchase, and I was very low income

[DonkeyDan]

Not having to constantly think of someone else and consider what they want, I can please myself and do whatever and whoever I want.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I love how I live by my own rules, I do my own thing & I don’t have to answer or report to anyone & I can come home whenever the flock I want.

[loveslongnails]

No one is truly independent, you know that, right? The closest you can come is living off the grid, growing your own food, building your own shelter with implements you built from scratch, etc. I like having options to choose from, whenever I can.

[hahahmm]

And if you ever achieve 100% independence, they will send a bunch of people after you in helicopters, to make sure you're okay and to "rescue" your kids from being denied access to Internet porn or whatever. Probably would trap & tag you like you're a wild animal. It's what they want to do to amazon tribes.

[loveslongnails]

@hahahmm I don't think anyone would care enough to find you in this country. (usa)

[hahahmm]

Heard a story of a guy who made it to like 99% independence. He was an a-hole violent criminal so I don't support that but the reason he got bagged & tagged was cause some random hunter found his bunker with solar panels and reported "this doesn't belong here". I guess if you own a LOT of your own land you could disappear on it tho.

[Justneedtokno]

Not really having to answer to someone. Being able to know that you’re resilient on your own and you can make it through certain things because you’ve gone through it before. Knowing your limitations

[Honesttguy]

Not giving fuk about things i dont give a fuk about.

[Puppystarfish23]

I love but I can buy what I want whenever I want and don't have to ask anyone if I'm allowed

[Jltakk]

Haven't felt that in years, but it was nice being able to stay out past midnight.

[Alyssa_11]

Everything. Living my best life. No questions asked.

[TheSpaceGnome]

independence is worthless, agency has value, but you want agency AND backup.

[hahahmm]

Yes,

[loveslongnails]

What do you mean by "agency" in this example?

[TheSpaceGnome]

@loveslongnails agency is the ability to get shit done on your own, independence is choosing to do everything on your own. Never choose to if you can have backup, but always be able to if you can.

[loveslongnails]

So in this definition, "on your own" doesn't mean "alone or by yourself (singular)?" It means that you were able to orchestrate getting something done, with or without help from others? Just want to be sure I understand.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@loveslongnails correct, everyone is so focused on being by themselves and handling everything themselves as being an adult, but its not, being an adult is knowing how to do things yourself, but being smart enough to value cooperation and safety nets.

Agency is having the knowledge and skill to have control over your life, independance is having everyone you interact with say "fuck you, do every task yourself".

Smart people have agency, but also things like a family run business, a big house with several generations of their family in it, and pooled money that earns passive income.

[sheikalana]

Not having to ask permission for anything. Not depending on others financially.

[Jamie05rhs]

Marry someone like me who enjoys the procurement duties.

[Citizenkirk]

Being able to make my own decisions

[anton_dee]

Nearly everything. Don't rely on anyone to live life

[Avicenna]

You do what you want when you want

[Anonymous]

I dont have to listen to her talk about her nonsense

[Siren777]

Being able to do whatever I want when I want.

[RoseJ123]

Making my own decisions.

[Cowboy6666]

Freedom and more privacy !!

[TheAfrikan]

Make my own choices and doing me fulltime.

[JustiReno]

Being able to eat whatever the hell I want

[Anonymous]

Everything. I see no flaws with autonomy at all.

[Molly1992]

I like being able to make and break my own rules.

[Wise4myage]

The feeling of freedom is amazing.

[lovedejj_xo]

Just enjoy my freedom and time.

[scott04sa22]

Have my own sleep hours lol

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You can prove to yourself how responsible you are.

[Kelly6]

more power, freedom and choice

[tponderingundead]

more space and time for yourself.

[TsAubreyKate]

The extra weed and liquor I don’t have to share

[Iron_Man]

Getting ice cream

[Valiqueen]

Ha ha😅

[Iron_Man]

Cool lol

[In_Trance]

what's not to like