Why is only the woman a homewrecker but not a man?

[Anonymous]

She was knowingly having an affair with a married man, she got called a homewrecker. Even in Spanish shows (whether in real life or soap operas), she was called that too. She was known as the woman that steals other women's husbands.

Yet, nothing happened if it was a man having an affair with a married woman. All of the sudden, the man wasn't the homewrecker. All the blame was on the cheater as it should be. Why is it only the woman the homewrecker but not the man? If he knows she's married, both of them are destroying a family. He's on it too.

Updates

+1 y

I think cheaters and homewreckers of both genders should be shamed equally, not just women.

[BullShark]

Not true. Both genders i. e either the husband or the wife can both be homewreckers and whoever says that only the women are and men can't be, are sexist.

If you knowingly cheat on your spouse with someone else, despite having kids of your own, guess what? You are a homewrecker. It's common to have ups and downs in marriages. Maybe you guys aren't seeing eye to eye that much anymore, maybe your both bad parents and that's drawing a line between you both, maybe the sex isn't as good enough as it was during the earlier years, your partner doesn't give you the same attention as they used to, or in worst case scenarios, either one of you is having financial troubles.

You need to work out your problems together, in a healthy manner, not go out there and start sleeping around with someone else or look validation elsewhere. Identify the problem, discuss it together and go to counseling if need be. This doesn't just affect you, but it also affects your kids as well. I've seen and known too many kids from broken families who have divorced parents, and let me tell you, it's a really sad sight and you genuinely feel sorry for them.

[NamerOfStars]

Because traditionally, social shaming isn't part of the retaliation for a man who steals another's woman- he just gets killed for it. Social opprobrium isn't really a factor.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's true. Men get shamed just as much.

[Kaneki05]

I disagree, the other person is not the one who committed to someone therefore they are not to be shamed or blamed. Just the one who committed aka your partner who lied to your face.

[Anonymous]

Cuz if it’s a woman then it’s the woman in the relationship that calls them a home wrecker. If it’s a man then the man in the relationship just leaves. From what I’ve seen women just care more.

[Asker]

I just find it funny when women are still fighting for their cheating husband. I feel like saying ''girl, wake up, he chose to cheat. All the other woman did is show you who he is''.
What I actually did with a cheating boyfriend once:
Me towards them: Looks like he's all yours now. He he's not problem anymore. Have fun. Bye.
Me: blocks him and hasn't spoken to him in over 4 years now

I find getting cheated on the easiest break-up. You can ditch them so easily vs dealing with other issues in the relationship and trying to work them out.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly that’s spot on.

[MrHopper]

Agree, hopefully the mass media will catch up in time

[Asker]

I hope so too. The woman (either she was the cheater or mistress) didn't do it all by herself. Both are disgusting characters with no values.

[genericname85]

i disagree with the concept of a "home wrecker". cheating is a decision made in personal autonomy. it's not the fault of the person who is cheated with.

[SiberFox]

Both are terrible, everyone agrees on that. But women control the sexual market and that's what this is referencing.

[Anonymous]

Well, it’s more serious when a girl does it because she has more control over sexual relationships. A guy has little to no control and everyone knows we are horny dogs and will fuck anything you throw at us.

[Asker]

It still doesn't take away the fact that it takes two to make it happen. The woman didn't do it all by herself. A cheater (of both genders) to me is a worthless person.
Yet some men won't cheat with their best friend's gfs. They sure respect the brother code but not remain faithful to his wife. So I don't not buying it that there is no self-control at all.

[Opinion Owner]

We have more testosterone and we often have animalistic tendencies to spread our seed. We are still animals and this is proof of that. Man has a desire to continue his genes so we will spread it where we can and sometimes we uncontrollably act out.

[jahaims]

Where I am from both are equally shameful

[Asker]

Then maybe the change have been made recently. Up to 10-15 years ago, only the woman was shamed if she was either the cheater or homewrecker, lose-lose for her. Meanwhile the male could continue living with life without his reputation getting tainted.

[RuthlessAggression]

nope, not true at all