Do you feel you are getting your emotional needs met in whatever form you need them — do you even know what they are for you personally?

[VIVANT]

This question is one where I have no way of answering myself but I was curious to ask regardless.

I think we are pretty much left to on our own, to sort out this side of life through trail and error— if even that. I think many people will go to their grave not even having rally been safe if what they needed emotionally. I recall reading when I was a kid that children need a minimum of 13 affectionate touches a day. I told my my great grandmother (who actually was the one affectionate person is ever known) would jokingly tap me 13 times every morning on my head 😂 I don't know where in the world they came up with that number it’s just funny bc it’s so ridiculous but was said with authority.

Anyhow I feel like a lot of people would be calmer snd happier and more helpful to others live healthier & probably longer, if that side of life was smoothed our. It’s really difficult tho to know what you need bc emotional needs - not material replacements - tho ubiquitous are unique & hard to market and so we don’t get much advertisement for them. Plus it’s not really something considered cool to talk about so I tbh k we get used to thinking of something basic as a special need for certain people who think about that stuff bc they need it.

im wondering how many of you give thought to your emotional well being & if you are aware of being content or feel wanting, etc etc

Internet

Yes

No

No clue

Other

[Lliam]

My wife satisfies my emotional needs.

First is 100% trust. It's like a warm blanket. We can confide in each other. We know each other better than anyone else. And we never have to worry about judgement or abandonment.

Second is care. She really cares about me and does all kinds of little things for me because she loves me. We don't have kids, but she displays motherly instincts toward me an our cats. It's hard to explain but, for instance, if I have a sniffle or something that I'm not worried about, she makes me take supplements and things to get better. She's just very observant and makes sure that the cats and I are happy and comfortable. Not that I need a mommy, but it's nice to have someone who cares about me. And, as a guy, I find that feminine kind of caring comforting. She shows me every day how much she loves me.

Third, we are pretty much on the same page when it comes to politics, spirituality and other things, so we can learn and talk about those things without creating conflict. We learn from each other when we discuss things.

We're both independent-minded, but we can still count on each other.

We like a lot of the same stuff, too. And have similar attitudes toward money.

[VIVANT]

That does sound like you enrich each other and it is a very special thing you found as you know, I imagine you high put in a lot of effort. It’s quite something to extract so much from two people together, wow.

Thank you for answering, some good news 🙂

[Lliam]

Thanks, Vivant.

We HAVE worked at it, and mostly thanks to my wife.

When we were in our first year of dating, she asked if I would be willing to go to a couple's counselor with her to make sure we were compatible. I had never done anything like that, but I said okay.

We met with a lady counselor for maybe a couple months or so. Some of it was uncomfortable but we learned a lot about ourselves and each other. It was a valuable experience.

With my consent, she has enrolled us in couples' counseling twice since we've been married. Not because we were fighting or our marriage was in trouble, but just to keep our relationship happy and healthy. Among other things, counseling has greatly improved our communication skills.

It's interesting how the two of us have grown up together over the past 27 years. And that has created a tighter bond.

[midnightmoon05]

I generally don’t need a lot. When I do, I can get from my hubby. Or my past partners. Before them, it was from my mom (ages 0-10). My mom is very affectionate and caring. Our love/emotional needs were fulfilled by my mom. Even now, she still gives unconditionally to her grand children.

Our emotional needs started from the day we were born, it’s from our closest caretaker.
word of affirmation, affection, hugs, touch, caress, encouragement, even a smile, the way they look at us with love and tender care can affect the way with who we become and who we trust.
sense of security and love all came from 0-2 years old.

as a baby, they learn to feel connected, secure, TRUST, from their care taker.
when they cry from hunger, they are fed. When they are wet, they are changed. When they are hurt, they are told, I’m here. Are you okay. Let me put a bandage on. All is well… hugs, kiss… k… hush along and go play. They are sung to, read to, held, smile.

with all that… We grow up feeling loved, we then feel good to be on own own as we move towards our younger years. We then meet our future partner, we give what we received from our care taker. We give love, smile, … we feel love, connection. Fall in love because we feel safe, secure and have trust.
we create our families, and both parents give similar love, security to our children… each generation continues. there is no fear in love.

[midnightmoon05]

I also love showing lots of affections physically and verbally. Emotionally I am also available, however I am careful how other seek them. If they are extremely needy. I will help them but I won’t enable them.

I work with 5,6,7 yr olds. I can tell those who has their needs met and those who need support.

[menina]

I'm 100% sure that I'm not getting them. I was bullied when I was a child, I was bullied when I was a teenager and I've been bullied by my "family" since I was born. I have friends, they're great but they can't replace the love and care that a family is supposed to give you. My "family" has never been here for me. They made me feel worthless and miserable, they're always trying to destroy my dreams, they don't support me and of course they hate me.

Maybe one day if I have a family of my own I'll be able to say that I'm getting my emotional needs met but for now it's impossible.

[VIVANT]

Wow menina, I never would have guessed. You have such a gentle uplifting personality, I Kishinev you cane from lots of love. I understand the torment you felt I had somewhat similar situation tho differences, tho I think the right people can feel like family, and I am fully confident you will create your family in time. I can’t imagine your future any other way. I tend to have a good sense about people for what it’s worth 😂 💕

[menina]

Awww thank you @VIVANT! You're so sweet! 💙💙´
I hope you're right and I do want to have a family one day. I want to love and to be loved.

[VIVANT]

I’m rooting for you !! 💕💕💫

[menina]

Thank you! I appreciate your support. :)

[OlderAndWiser]

I need to feel that I am the most important person in the entire world for my partner, and I need to feel that other people are in a better position because I have made a contribution to their lives.

[VIVANT]

This must be something you have thought about in your life and have been able to accomplish to an extent. It would be difficult to have such clear vision , I imagine, without the experience of it. A happy story lol thank you for answering 😊

[OlderAndWiser]

I am perhaps TOO introspective and I certainly have pondered this question on many occasions!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'll never have my emotional needs met and I have been like this since a child and age 21 I was found eligible for disability so I been on that income and I'm age 54 but me and my late mom had the same income so we would share expenses but my dad was the reason and my peers from school would bully me, I've never met a woman who would agree to wait for sex until after marriage.

[VIVANT]

I’m sorry to hear that good guy, you do have obstacles not everyone has, you seem to be a very thoughtful person and I imagine if you met the right person they’d greatly appreciate this about you. I think you are indeed a lovable person. Chin up 🤗

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@VIVANT Awe thank you so much!

[Chazmatazz269]

No. As a man, i don’t have emotional outlets without great cost even in familiar and comfortable circumstances. I’ve been a stranger in a strange land for over two and a half years. I have no one and nothing. I feel blessed that i’m not yet considering suicide.

[humanearth]

I have no clue

I'm brain less like a stick of butter

[VIVANT]

I’m with you brother 👍🏼 🙂

[ChiTown33]

Met enough. I know I have a family that cares about me. I'll always be single and while it isn't exactly the life I've chosen I've kind of made my peace with it. I believe happiness is mostly attitude. Finding the joy in life regardless of your situation.

[Philyouup]

i chose other , no long to explain at the moment Miss Viv.

[VIVANT]

Thank you Phil perhaps another time 😌

[Jamie05rhs]

It sure would be great to feel loved! I'll tell you that.

[VIVANT]

Jaimie very honest response, thank you 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT You're welcome!

[Anonymous]

I'm living alone since decade...
So I'm emotionaless person...

Again I have to call Albert Einstein to understand your intelligence questions girl. 😜

[VIVANT]

😂🤣

Seriously tho I totally understand the living alone thing for decade — same-but you are young and clearly have a sense of humor, you may thaw out in the right circumstance. Thank you for answering 😊

[Opinion Owner]

Your welcome babe vivant 😘

[KrakenAttackin]

A good question but a question mostly for women. No one cares about men's emotional needs.

[NathanDavis]

not many will care that much for menchildren that are always whining about women on the internet**

your auto-correct messed up

[KrakenAttackin]

@NathanDavis Not will they care about simp-cucks.

[NathanDavis]

oh lol... you're 40's

thought you were 22 or something

well, mentally... more like 12

no wonder why so bitter and grudgy

[VIVANT]

I asked everyone bc I care and bc I’m aware it is a difficult subject for most people to confront, in my opinion partly bc there is a lack of cultural support in doing so- I think a lot of negative feelings come up when we go to consider something like this, if we even do.

And bc for many of us we wouldn’t really know where to begin.

I do not think your response is terrible tho a bit absent I can sympathize… I know a lot of men feel this way but the thing is women feel this way too. Life is very alienating and loving in a world where the essence of what makes us Guiana and whatever needs we have to feel complete and flourish are instead marketed for profit, my guess is majority of people have gaping holes in their lives where emotional well-being being should be, tho it may take diff forms.

There’s another part I was going to explain but I’m really tired atm and I know I won’t manage to explain clearly so another time.

Tho I do know there’s no point in debating with oriole if they feel isolated or if hired, it’s not a year and feelings don’t lie. We give diff analysis of them but they are what they are.

I appreciate anyone attempting to answer this question, I do think it is very difficult. 🙏🏼

[Blackcosmo]

Not at all. It's been awhile since I've rejoiced being with someone. I barely go outside.

[blondfrog]

I am not sure but thankfully I am no where near as emotional as I used to be. I feel pretty empty inside most days.

[Samantha_17]

Tough question :)

[VIVANT]

I know ! 😂 I usually like to answer the questions I ask, to be fair, but it I can’t 🥵

[JaxiCats]

Yes and sort of I'm constantly thinking

[ChefPapiChulo]

tldr

[VIVANT]

Maybe next time 🙂🙂