How do I move on? I repress emotions and it appears through self destructive behaviors out of nowhere?

[Robintt]

[ohsheeT]

Okay so why do you repress emotions why not just say this is what I feel and I'm allowed to feel that I'm not going to get crazy with it but this is the way I feel that's the way it is and be done with it you don't have to take it on personally and make a big deal out of any kind of emotion that's what life's all about is not picking a side not picking an emotion to go full blast crazy on or not care it's right in the middle and that's where you have to focus yourself hey this happened I'm pissed off about it there's nothing I can do about it that's on them somebody does something to hurt you take a couple steps back look at the whole situation be honest with yourself you can let up and go crazy or you could just relax and say it just happened there's nothing I can do about it except for learn grow and maybe stay away from that person or whatever but always take the Middle Road that's where you're supposed to be it's great to have passion and emotion it's a beautiful thing when two people connect and can become that energy as one but there are things in life where you can't not control and why do you want to control it you want to just be in the middle let it roll off your back take a deep breath because getting crazy upset or out of control that doesn't help anything all that doesn't make things worse right

[Guy13]

I saw a lot of this in another venue. These "beautiful people-females" with vast hollow and empty spaces were supposed the be the happy people but were not. I saw that repression and "hide away thing" manifest itself in eating disorder, cutting, and the scream faces when not on shoot... Find an unbiased individual, such as a Pastor or Counselor, that can give you and honest and objective opinion... to think on?

Is this rambling making sense?

[Robintt]

Thanks, I used to talk with my therapist. It lasted about a year. My problems make me avoid people. I'd prefer to recover first because I can't even be myself.. I don't like the person I am right now. I chat with some trusted online friends...

[Guy13]

You're smart !! You have avenues established. You sound like a doer... I love that in people as we all have the "whining and second guessing" but you and I do not get stuck there !!! Bright future :-)

[Robintt]

Thanks, thanks sweet and empowering. I'm smart but apparently not enough right now. I don't like to whine because it leads to nothing. But I'm helpless now and tired of trying

[Guy13]

Yep, it can be cyclical and never ending. Have you considered changing your venue. Usually, it is a per-existent condition underlying the difficulties. Crazy boyfriend, parent, etc? Guessing.

[Robintt]

Yes, you're right. My parents are the reason of my problems.. Every time I'm away from home, I feel so great and happy.. I live with them we're very close and I can't really imagine leaving them because I'm scared I won't manage. I'd have to go to school (I just finished one but I'd like to take a gap year). And it's hard for me to take such big steps because my whole life my parents didn't even let me go out and hang out with people, I'm very dependent on them.

[Guy13]

Gap school... are you in Europe?

[Robintt]

Yes, how did you know

[Guy13]

I thought I recalled Gap school being a European thing... I played soccer with internationals in undergraduate. I had internationals-Brits and Cambodian stay with me in high school. I went to a high school that was soccer-centered...

[Robintt]

That's cool did you like it? I guess if you want to take a break and go traveling you can do that regardless the country

[Guy13]

Those guys stayed with my family and were recruits actually looking to get into USA universities... My Coach knew about them from his past and connections.

[JohnK123]

Lmao well then hmu… joking haha if u do that’s cool if not that’s cool too

and I don't know try new fun things that u will enjoy

[Wise4myage]

Have you considered seeing a therapist?

[Robintt]

I had a therapist in the past..

[Wise4myage]

Consider going again.

[Robintt]

I don't know... :( I think I just need to be consistent and take challenges which I don't do because it all loses its point sometimes

[Wise4myage]

Then focus on being consistent. :)

[Robintt]

That's the problem, I don't know how. And sometimes I doubt it makes any sense

[Wise4myage]

That's why therapy would be good.

[Anonymous]

therapy and working on yourself

[Robintt]

That's what I know...
What kind of work?
I had a therapist

[Opinion Owner]

open up a little at a time not all at once start small and simple and do a little each day

[Robintt]

Sorry, that's much more complex :( but thanks

[Opinion Owner]

do some reading on self help books a lot of them are complete crap but a few might work. also start off slowly by yourself without others around you don't start off by opening up to others right off the bat you start by admitting truths to yourself out loud with nobody around even if it's small simple things

[Opinion Owner]

sorry i should of explained it better

[Robintt]

Thanks. Haha yeah, you need to bd careful what book you're reading. There are many excellent ones though. I read books but I just have this 1 things I do repeatedly and I can't stop it. Every time I do it I feel ashamed and depressed but after some days, a week I get a little better and promise myself that'll never happen again but it always happens. Now I feel like giving up.. I don't see a point of trying again because I simply don't know what to do to stop it. I used to have an eating disorder which was also a form of self destructive behavior. I somehow healed but I found another way to release my emotions :(

[Opinion Owner]

someone i deeply love battled an eating disorder but also when working on yourself consistency is the key to improving yourself just keep at it and do it for yourself because you want to better yourself

[Opinion Owner]

just do little at a time you'll get there but remember it won't happen over night or in a few days or in a few weeks it's a long slow road

[Robintt]

Thanks, I don't battle an eating disorder anymore but I can't stop repressing my emotions which appears through self destructive behavior

[Opinion Owner]

it'll take time to overcome that just go easy on yourself

[Robintt]

I can't move on

[Opinion Owner]

move on from what?

[Robintt]

I just don't see the point of starting anew because I promised myself many times not to do something that hurts me but I always do it anyway and I need to find out what to do, to control my emotions.. Otherwise there's no point in starting again

[Opinion Owner]

what self destructive things do you do?

[Robintt]

I'd rather not say. Especially publicly. Also, it doesn't matter..

[Opinion Owner]

ok that's perfectly fine

[In_Trance]

therapy

[Robintt]

I taked to a therapist for a year