How do you learn to not care what others think of you and become 100% comfortable and confident with yourself?
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Society likes to build this image of how people should look, act, and be as to what is "acceptable". Younger people perceive those images as something to look up to. Back in my youth, we had Britney Spears, Cindy Crawford, Pamela Anderson, Christina Aguilera, Janet Jackson.. Sure, everyone has their flaws, but that's what's great about being human! Nobody is perfect, but we can all be friends? At least it used to be that way. This generation has deteriorated because of social media. people pass judgement on each other too soon. How you look on the outside doesn't define u as a person. But, learn to accept urself, who you are, what u want to do, and if someone wants to criticize u, tell them to go post on FB or Twitter b/c obviously they have no other life.
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One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was you are not going to get everybody to like you. It's not that I don't care, it's more of I do my best but I don't worry about what I can't control. Being comfortable comes from having a feeling of inner peace. That inner peace comes from being secure in who you are and knowing you are not perfect but you did your best! With all of that said. There are certain personality traits I despise and will not allow around me. I have no use for a known liar or thief. I have no use for people male or female that cheat on their SO or have a history of doing so. She might have the body and face of a goddess. If there is nothing inside I rather go spend my time getting a root canal. I know of a guy that lives near me that is worth millions of dollars. He has no personality and tries to buy his friends. The other night a lady I was with ran into him with several women. Just seeing that dynamic made me ill.
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the trick is not "not to care". you are not supposed to be 100% comfortable and confident. you can always improve something about you. yet you can still be content with yourself while knowing tha your are not 100%. it's also not important to learn to "not care what others think". it's important to value "the right peoples opinion" in regards to you.
so for example: random guy in the streets calls you an asshole. so you should know that you're not an asshole and that guy doesn't even know you. so you can not give a shit about him calling you an ashole. but if your best friend says you're being an asshole, you probably should not just dismiss that.
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At your age it seems so you important to care what other people say and think about you.
But trust me, when you get much older, the day will come when it won't even matter to you.
I think at the age you are now, if you're a good guy, people will probably like you and you won't have to wonder what they think about you; therefore you won't think about that so much.
But if you're a bad guy and do bad things, then you might care about it.
How do you stop caring? You can tell yourself that you are doing your best at life, and other people have not walked in your shoes. Everyone's time here on Earth is different.
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Not sure how to convince you, a 16 year old that other people's opinions don't matter. Mostly cause it took me lots of time and experiences with people to realize their opinions don't matter.
I geuss basiclly my best advice is...
Nobody is perfect, none of us are, we all have our own faults, most of us can see other people's faults weither they be surface level like looks or something deeper like a twisted perspective or bad personality. Everyone has something wrong with them, especially the people who go around pointing out and making fun of other people's short comings, they are desperately trying to rationalize their issues by making others feel worse and convincing themselfs "my issues aren't as bad as theirs"
Eventually you'll actually appreciate the openly rude people cause it saves to the time you would have wasted on them if they were sneaky and manipulative and hid their ugly personality till you got attached.
Some average woman here wants to call me ugly cause I called her average? That dosent hurt me at all. Some muscular dude wants to body shame me cause I don't spend every free minute in the gym? Again I don't care, I've got better things to do than be eye candy for shallow women that only talk to hot men.
I just do what I want and if people don't like it I don't care. -
There isn’t a specific age. Some kids grow up with parents who guide them and teach them morals and ethics that kids will abide to and stick with. But generally I would say after the age of 35, people start to learn more about this world. Experiences are what shape us. Dealing with negativity on social media just for having a thought can receive so much backlash if the comment was not intended to be malicious. Learning more about this political structure/hierarchy, this monetary system. People passing away, moving away, break ups with someone you love.
I would be lying if I said I don’t care what anyone thinks. For most part I won’t care. But it’s like if I sat down on a bus and I saw a mother and a child and I continued sitting there. Nah that’s rude, I would get up. I would look stupid prick if I didn’t care. No one is perfect, reflection is also a key part. I will say this, for any child who grew up in a dysfunctional environment, that child will not be a confident child. It’s extremely important to have good, supportive parents that encourage their kids, but also say it’s alright if you fail, to bounce back and do better. That child will grow up with more confidence.
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I think that's really hard to do on a realistic scale since we are all social beings who naturally need connection to be happy and to survvive. It's even been that way since the beginning of man or cave days. It's why we are naturally programmed to have sex and reproduce and have families, I think. But also on a general scale, we are ALWAYS interacting with people.
But I think I get what you mean though why this question. I think it's just a matter of trying to PRACTICE being confident in what you are doing and your purpose in your life and not letting people who you think are going to harm you (either mentally or otherwise), to get to you. However, you may come off as arrogant to some people and if you are sensitive or empathic like me, it's going to be a challenge but I think in general, if someone is a stranger, maybe don't let it have THAT much of an effect on your day/life.
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went through that and it's a process.
You have to find your true heart and discover and resolve past traumas that are limiting you. Some of this is personality, you are different than your siblings so cannot measure by them. You may be a sensitive personality which means you have strong emotions. Those things developed become spiritual gifts.
In other words, you want to get your heart aligned with love instead of lower emotions like shame, fear, regret, etc.. When you are functioning out of better emotions, you have a lot to give that is truly amazing... discernment and other gifts.
starting with "I don't give an F" is kinda freeing thought. then turning that to care, if that is how you feel.
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Have a "Fuck It" attitude
The older you get, the stronger your "Fuck It" attitude becomes naturally
Why do you think old people can get away with saying anything they want.
BECAUSE THEY simply DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF THEY HURT YOUR FEELINGS OR GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK
Same thing goes for crossdressers that crossdress in public. They learned to not to NOT TO GIVE A FUCK and learned to lived their own life they way they want to live it and not how others think they should live.
Like me, I will wear a woman's two piece bikini to the river, beach or a mall and not give a fuck of what people think.
Honestly, I get more praise and tons of people wanting their photo with Bikini Man
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Those shouldn't be the goals.
If you never cared what anyone thought, you would be arrogant and conceited and people would not like you.
If you love everything about yourself then you lack humility and don't believe in working toward becoming better.
Some people fixate on the idea of confidence, being confident, confidence in others. I don't. I look for humility and lack of arrogance. They are much more attractive to me.
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Realize that only you know yourself and all the experiences that make up who you are and how you react.
You only have control over yourself.
It allows you to just sit back and let others live their own lives.
People judge pieces of us. Moments of behavior. The parts that are ever changing. We can always improve or choose to stay the same. That choice is ours not theirs.
- 6.2K opinions shared on Other topic. u
personally... I battled depression as a child and teen, for about 10 to 12 years...
by the time I overcame all of that internal struggle... whatever others could think or say had little or no effect on me, lol...
but there's probably much better and healthier ways to gain confidence and comfort within yourself... lol - 4.2K opinions shared on Other topic.
I always like to use a Dr. PHIL quote that I think underlines it all, "You wouldn't care so much what other people thought about you if you realized how little they do".
We really do give ourselves too much importance in other people's lives. There are 8 billion people on this planet. To quote the movie fight club, "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake". Lol
The realization of this is a good thing though. Because to God you're precious! He/She Made you perfect! Now get out there and enjoy life. Dance, be happy, get stupid, because you only get one go at this. Make worth remembering!
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I learned meditation from BSWA, among many others & wire my brain to perform advanced mental feats in regard to control (much like a master musician at their instrument), in the process sacrificing whatever was necessary to build confidence.
To that end, in my experience, many people I meet are such addicts asking them to cut down to a 1GB per month data plan would be unacceptable - they're not willing to make even minor sacrifices & are basically wanting an instant-gratification, convenient miracle cure that doesn't exist, let alone FAR harder sacrifices I made, each individually far more than the aforementioned curbing of phone addiction.
If you're ready to do ANYTHING NECESSARY to achieve this, and go as long as it takes, I know the answer, but I believe what you want is something w/ minimal to no inconveniences to trivial addictions.
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I learned that when people project stuff about you it's really their own insecurities coming through. We generally see ourselves in other people. That's usually why we judge to begin with. It's like a mirror.
So, whenever someone tries to troll me either on here or anywhere, I never take offence because I know it has nothing to do with me.It's actually really freeing to see things this way I've found. It helps you see clearer too instead of getting offended and reacting badly.
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You’ll never stop 100% caring. I still care to an extent but i know my opinion of myself is what matters most. Thats all im worried about and i know im set in my ways and not intending to change. So what good would it do to put much care into what others think of me
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Learn to love yourself because in the end, the only person that will be with you for the rest of your life is you. Also, no mstter how weird or quirky you think you are - own it. It's what makes you YOU. After learning and accepting these facts I stopped giving a shit if people disliked me. I simply started loving my own company. I stopped plessing people, stopped sucking it up in dating, and stoped giving a shit if people are watching at me when I lypsinc to my favorite songs on the street. Life's kinda short to be worried about what others think. Unless you have had hygiene. In that case you should shower more often, I don't know.
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I used to super care and be super shy and had major social anxiety... I guess at some point I realized its hard to make everyone like me, but easy as can be to tick people off without even trying.
I realized that people are going to think and do what they want and nothing I do is going to matter, so just do whatever I want and not worry or care about them.
Sure I still do to a little extent but if someone gets all bent out of shape over it, that is THEIR problem not mine.
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Be born comfortable and capable of doing anything.
Alternatively, never have any flaws, or at least admit to having any.
Alternatively alternatively, become a cynic and stop caring about everything. Although that's moreso apathy than confidence, but no one will be able to tell the difference!
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I learned this once from a mentor a long time ago. When you see a homeless person on the street and they say you're ugly do you care? No because they are a homeless person. You see no value in that person so who cares what they say. But if your boss or someone who has an interest in your self preservation says something then you care. Know the difference. We can't always not care what others think but we can decide who deserves that emotion from us.
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I don't know u have to find a way to define who u are. r u a boy and prefer pink over blue? u know u do but u never admited it to urself or anyone cuz of the way u were afriad they will jduge u? I don't know so just question those deep like stuff about urself I don't know experiment with non trraditional clothes and I don't know smth like that for example everyone around me wears jeans and like shirtes but i wear princess dresses and lots of childish stuff. it was hard to like show myself how i am cuz i was afriad others will judge me but like i had to have that internal proces as well as external of admiting im diferent and like diferent stuff and then showing it externally anfd i found what i like through experimentation. so, I don't know just try and experiment with literally anything til u find urself and when someone judges u just remind urself that this is u and that u love and accept urself the way u ar5re ikd i hope this helps
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I accept who I am & love myself as the woman I am. You have to love yourself to be confident in yourself.
I try to improve myself every day. Be the person I want to see others be in the world. Do I get it right everyday? Do I fit the mold of what others want to see?
No.
But I try to be the best human I can be. -
Age mostly! As you get older you build self-esteem and confidence. And your care what others think doesn't go away but changes. How is hard to explain. But you accept what others think and grow tougher skin. BUT this is not saying you no longer care.
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Studying stoicism, specifically Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. To me at least, they are the easiest ancient stoics to get into. In the modern era, stoicism is widely misunderstood; the stiff upper lip of Victorian England comes close, but there is so much more to a complete philosophy.
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