Why am I feeling like this?

[Anonymous]

me when im trying to look good

All my life i always have a hard time receiving compliments from people. I feel like i don't deserve it at all.. Even tough it's just the simplest compliment like my eyebrow makeup looks good, my shirt looks good on me, or i look beautiful today. I feel like theyre all liars, and the compliments aren't genuine... But when i look uncomfortable when people compliments me, they look confused af or they usually make sure that i actually look really good that day.

A little backstory, I've always been called ugly by my family, as i grew up and it kind of stuck in my mind that i'm actually really fuckin ugly and whatever im gonna do to make myself look slightly good, i feel so bad for myself and there's always this feeling where i feel like.. it's pointless to even try, you're a fucking clown and deal with it lol. Now to me, every compliments feels like it's fake and i shouldn't trust them, it feels... unusual for me, it makes me feel defensive everytime i get one. Whats wrong with me, do i have low self esteem or am i just insane?

[Isaack]

It does sound like you have self esteem issue. Try to consider the things you've done that might earn the compliments that you hear. If people say you're fit, rather than dwelling on how much body fat you still have, think, "that must have been because of that pull up I did one time. Go me!"
As for feeling like a clown, you could try actually putting on full clown makeup one time so you can differentiate it from your normal look. If you end up liking it, then you could have fun being a clown for real. I know I do.

[jshm2]

You just don't know how to take compliments, is all.

It's rather sad and people will think you a clown for it. But you can move past it by always trying to improve your game.

[Mafia24]

How can we decide without seeing your pic?