What does it mean when someone says “that’s not the question right now”?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

CONTEXT: I asked if he wanted another kid and he responds with “That’s not the question right now. Let’s figure out our situation first.” (I possibly might be pregnant with his kid & it’s be his second with another woman) I’m not sure if he meant between us or possibly being pregnant.

he did tell me prior that he realized he didn’t want a relationship because he’s still so messed up

Updates

+1 y

Not ready for a relationship** Typo

[SnowedIn]

Usually that they're trying to deflect the conversation.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[SnowedIn]

Often if someone says something and then the other person says "that's not the question right now" the second person is trying to avoid addressing what the first person brought up. Not all the time, but this is the case a lot.

[Asker]

I asked if he wanted another kid and he responds with “That’s not the question right now. Let’s figure out our situation first.” (I possibly might be pregnant with his kid & it’s be his second with another woman)

[SnowedIn]

I think that's a bit of deflection.

But, knowing that, it sounds like in his mind the situation is the more immediate answer needed.

[Asker]

So is it more of a “I don’t want a kid with you but don’t know how to tell you.” Cause he did tell me he realized he wasn’t ready for a relationship cause he’s so messed up emotionally.

[SnowedIn]

I don't think it's that so much as in his mind the first thing he needs to deal with is your situation and not the question of a child

[Asker]

Do you mean the situation with me being possibly pregnant?

[SnowedIn]

I read his response about figuring out your situation as he wants to either define your relationship or, yeah, determine the pregnancy and then figure out about wanting a kid (your question)

[Asker]

I just feel a bit uneasy about his wording cause it makes me feel like he doesn’t want a child with just me but doesn’t know how to say it. especially before when he said he’s not ready for a relationship because he’s so messed up.

[SnowedIn]

I think you are 1000% justified to feel uneasy and unsure

[dreamstar72]

He might have meant that he is more concerned about your two relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

Depends on the context.

[Asker]

I asked him if he wanted another kid because I might be pregnant and his response was “that’s not the question right now. Let’s figure out our situation first.”

[OlderAndWiser]

He probably did not understand that you were hinting at that possibility. What is the situation that needs to be clarified? Trouble in the relationship?

[Asker]

So is it more of a “I don’t want a kid with you but don’t know how to tell you.” Cause he did tell me he realized he wasn’t ready for a relationship cause he’s so messed up.

[OlderAndWiser]

More likely, he doesn't want a baby with anyone.

[Massageman]

Either WANTS to focus on another topic or NEEDS to focus on another topic (for various reasons).

[Jamie05rhs]

It sounds like he wants to have a talk about your relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

If he goes ahead with sticking around to help raise your kid, then that means he's stuck with you for 18 years. That's a big commitment. That's why he wants to hash things out with you relationship-wise.

[roy_ricky09]

Simply means they don't want to talk about what you want to talk about

[Paulychicagoluv]

You're trying to side step the real problem or question that started the conversation

[MementoMori777]

Did you change the subject or try too

[Asker]

I asked if he wanted another kid and he responds with “That’s not the question right now. Let’s figure out our situation first.” (I possibly might be pregnant with his kid & it’s be his second with another woman)

[MementoMori777]

Wait he doesn't know you are pregnant with his kid?

[Asker]

He does. Yes.

[MementoMori777]

Them maybe he thought you were talking about it third?

[MementoMori777]

That sucks smh

[msc545]

Why ask us? ASK HIM.