What does it mean when a guy says he can't be with you 'right now'?

[kristen_k7]

I was seeing this guy for a while and we pretty much broke up but it was never really a solid break up and he just kept saying he didn't know what he wanted. I can tell he's not super happy and then today he said he just can't be with me right now. Why is that? He didn't say he never wants to be with me and we have great chemistry, he just can't do it right now... Guys what do you think this means?

Updates

+1 y

I guess unhappy isn't the right word... he just seems very confused not just with us but a lot of other things.

[quiet_guy]

well...you know him better than anyone else. most of the time? if your gut tells you something? its usually the best thing. it always smart to ask someone about it, but your 1st gut instinct is usually the way to go. if you think he's got other problems somewhere else in his life and that's keeping him from you? you're probably right. the thing is...he's gotta trust you enough to want to open himself up. and whether its real or imagined, he think's he's got a good reason for not telling you these things. he might be embarassed, or ashamed. but whether its a good or bad excuse, he doesn't wanna talk. and that's something that you might want to think about before you get deeper into this relationship. this is something that might not ever change. I thought he might have another girlfriend, but if he doesn't have another set of friends or another "life" that you don't know about? then he probably doesn't have another girl. and if he doesn't wanna talk? well...there's really nothing you can do. if you're looking for answers from this guy, you're in a tough spot. good luck.

[quiet_guy]

he might have another girl he's seeing and maybe he's thinking of breaking up with her to be with you.

[kristen_k7]

Honestly I don't think that's what it is.

[likewoahhh]

wow, way to be positive.

[McLovely86]

I hope you get some guy feedback on this. I'm in the same situation. He doesn't know what he wants. He's not all "there" or himself. He can't figure out why it "switched off" from wanting a relationship to not. Pretty much can't handle a relationship right now with work and school picking up. I always though I don't want a relationship meant I don't want a relationship with YOU, but can it really be that they can't handle it and its not YOU that's the problem?

[kristen_k7]

It's so frustrating! Cause I feel like he does like me but he can't explain to me why we can't be together right now. I just don't get it and it's tearing me up :(

[McLovely86]

Yeah it is. I honestly feel they should just be honest. You are going to hurt that person either way might as well tell the truth. We had an hour long discussion about ending it. And actually he kept saying he didn't know what this point was that it wasn't the end. He wants to still text and call and see me when he has time. But the romance should be taken out because he isn't all there. Everyone keeps saying he just doesn't want me or that there is someone else. I thought so too and I let him do all the

[McLovely86]

talking. He said it wasn't about anyone else, he doesn't want a relationship with anyone.There's nothing wrong with me and he has nothing to complain about, he just can't figure out what's going on with himself. Either way he could be telling me the truth or leaving something out. If there was someone else Id want to know or if its me he does want to be with then just say it.

[McLovely86]

It sucks. You want to know. You are still going to feel the same about that person but at least you know if there is a chance or not. Even when a guy has told me there was someone else. I still liked them it just made me make myself try to move on faster.

[happyhippie]

I'm in the exact same situation! He doesn't know what he wants what is that? Come on guys please answer this!

[likewoahhh]

maybe he's going through something at home.

[quiet_guy]

whether its good or bad, real or imagined, this guy thinks he's got a good reason for not being with you. if its not someone else he's seeing, then who knows. maybe something out of his past, or like someone said...something going on at home. maybe its something about you that he's worried about. I'm NOT saying there's something wrong with you or hinting that there is. but it could be something he's heard or seen you do or say. but if he doesn't want to talk about it, that's a problem.