When a guy says "he doesn't want a relationship now"?

Do you think the girl in the video is right or is this phrase just an lame excuse when he really likes someone else or he just doesn't like you that way or maybe a bit but not enough to be your bf?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn’t watch the video.
    Anyways I’m in a phase of my life where my married is ending.
    The lesson I learned from it is, whoever is not on the same page as me, I’ll just respect that and let go.
    Because I know what I’m doing and what I want.
    If the guys doesn’t wanna be in a relationship then it’s understandable to an extend.
    If a guy told me that I would understand because since I’ve been getting out of my own relationship, I also don’t wanna deal with anyone that doesn’t want the same things as me.
    The girl should not beat herself up. Seriously is not that serious, is better being along that miserable. She should be more confident than that.
    We will all find someone whenever and whoever doesn’t want us right now, who cares? 🤷🏾‍♀️ at this age a lot of people just wanna have fun. Let them. Achieve your goals in the meanwhile and then in the future you’ll find someone (me too, the girl too)
    Hope I could help have a fun day

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You girls are more thinking about what men think, than man actually think at all.
    I won't gonna watch the video, but I guess I'm still able to give a self-referred answer, because I'm also not looking for a relationship now. That doesn't have a deeper or tricky meaning. It's the honest and direct truth. Some guys like me have something else they force at. I have set my priorities on studying and taking time for myself. There's simply not enough time for a girlfriend. I had one and made the experience that there's not time left for other things when I'm in a relationship. So when I say I don't want a relationship now, I only said what I mean. I don't understand how girls already imagine something more complicated into what we say.

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    • I think she’s wondering why guys will say they don’t want a relationship, but will still want to spend time with a woman, take her out, have sex, etc.

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    • @Calixx maybe to don't feel alone without getting something too serious. I don't think a dude can keep this for long since he will start loving her and he will want to have a relationship with her, but for the beginning I guess it could work.
      @Asker I didn't set a special age or a special achievement I want to get before getting ready for the next relationship. When my I would just fall in love today with the next girl, I guess I would want to be with her, but since there are no girls around me so often and I don't try to search them, it's unlikely this will happen. I have been working as a construction worker for about a year so I can agree with you there.

    • This is true, females seem to put a lot of meaning into things guys don't actually mean

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Some guys never want to get in a relationship and some are really saying.. they just don't want one with you by saying they don't want one at all. It happens all the time.

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  • He wants just sex, or he might like you but afraid of committment. Doesn't see the point of a relationship unless he feels it not just someone he likes or loves but keeper material, otherwise he's wasting his time and yours. He never sowed his oats like he wished and wants to do that before commiting to a relationship again... so many possible reasons

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  • Lol it could mean his keeping his options open for a better woman? and doesn't want to give up the joy for sex. Or it could mean the guy finds doing other things more important than a relationship right now. See men dont think the same way woman do. If a man told me he wasn't ready for a relationship then id say okay... call me when you are otherwise his just going to use you for that thing between your legs.

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  • It means he doesn't have anyone else but he's also not looking for a relationship with you. If he finds a girl he's interested in he'll change his tune pretty fast. That's basically how I am, but all the time. I don't want a relationship, but when I meet certain girls throughout my life I've wanted one with them

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  • She's pretty spot on. I have my goals prioritized, I don't see how a relationship would help me achieve what I want quicker unless the girl had the same goals or I took her away from her goals. The only option in a relationship for me currently is to slow down on achieving my goals, and that's not fair to me, and would lead to resentment. If you want a man, you'll have to wait or find one that's there already

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    • so even if you meet you dream girl, you'd let her go, basically because of money?

    • I don't think I used the word "money" or a synonym for it once. It's not just about money, but I do believe that although money can't buy happiness, it can afford depression, in bulk. It's more about getting the most out of my life and giving back more than I take from the world (again not talking about money). The opposite sex isn't the most that life has to offer us, I mean it makes the list for sure but it's definitely not my #1, and thats consistently made clearer to me by the day. I don't believe in "the" dream girl. There's roughly 3.5 billion women, if there's 1 there's probably several. And if there is only 1 I can't really rationalize spending time looking for her in a crowd of 3.5 billion. I'll keep my eyes peeled, but with those odds I'm far more likely to win the lottery.

  • ehh.. she's partially right but ignoring a lot of the issue.

    Relationships are different for men. As things are right now most women are HIGHLY toxic and relationships are incredibly risky for men. So in the face of anti male culture, laws and a saturation of toxic women it should be no surprise that men put off commitment like they do.

    In fact it's shocking that men commit at all really.

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  • If a guy likes you he wants to be with you. Not tomorrow not in the future. he's a player if he pull this shit. Its a great sign to move on and find a real man instead of a child

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    • "Players" don't exist.

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    • Well... men only know how to live when controlled by someone. First their mother then the spouse. It hurts your masculinity but its truth. You never find your socks Im sure

    • Uh... sure.

  • Wtf

    No it's not like that

    When guys say something like that we mean it that way. You are cool and chill but not my girlfriend type

    That's not even friendzone. We just dont want to give you wrong hopes of getting a Relationship but we also dont want to insult you

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    • then why woudn't you just say it like that?

    • I would but dunno what shit other guys say

  • A relationship can be stressful, you have to focus on the needs of someone else half the time or more, making sure to stay in contact. Its pressure and if you are trying to focus on yourself and say your career or schooling then it's not needed. While its easy to just be casual with someone without that pressure that commitment may wreck whatever he's trying to accomplish in life at that time

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  • Well depends if you decide to move on and find out that he went and start dating someone else then you know he lied to you. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't want to be with you because you don't know whether or not he lying to you.

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  • It means exactly what he said. Guys don't bullshit their feelings like women. A woman saying this often just wants you to try harder to win her affection out of insecurities. A guy means exactly what he said which is I don't want a relationship right now. And he'll be annoyed if you try for anything else.

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    • That’s a lie

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    • I assume you are not a man. This makes you bias in your answer. You are also rather young so I assume you haven't been in enough relationships to have adequate information on the subject.

    • @VIVANT I think the lady in the video is right. I mean if a woman wants to find a man to start a relationship she has first to meet a guy with the same goals as her someone who do wants a relationship and won't be playing with you, otherwise if you meet a guy who does not wnt a relationship is a waste of time trying to convince him otherwise. I mean you can be Friends with the guy sure casual Friends beause it is not that he will ignroe you completely, but more thant that is imposible. Maybe he jsut want to be casual Friends or just want to hook up and that is all.

  • People study a little biology and think every over exaggeration they make is real science. We are intellectual beings. Our instincts are behind our conscience and conscious intellect. This seems true to some extent tho

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  • Take it from the Master... He Isn't Into a Steady Betty. xx

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  • The girl in the video is exactly right, but that doesn't mean some guys don't use it as an excuse too

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  • I would read no more into it than what he said. "He doesn't want a relationship now". Remember... Guys are not smart enought to say something and have it mean something else. Were pretty much still cave men when it comes to expressing ourselves.

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  • I think many people who are dating and in relationships, should understand, that it isn’t always better for you to be in a relationship. At times, people should be single because they need to either learn to be independent, overcome some personal challenge, address duties that don’t have to do with them, but perhaps an obligation to a family member, etc. but what makes someone a good person to be with, lot of what makes that person a potentially good girlfriend or boyfriend, is how they developed themselves and matured while single, as it allows them to offer more in a potential relationship. Being continuously Co-dependent, and focused on trying to please someone, wrapped up in all that comes with a relationship does stunt your growth, makes you miss opportunities you can never get back and develop Co-dependent habits potentially, so no, you shouldn’t assume he just wants to be with someone else

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  • Can't be bothered to watch a video on gag so I'll just translate the phrase in the question from my point of view :

    I need a pause from relationships or I can't see myself investing time and efforts in a relationship right now.

    Usually it's the second one. With our daily social lives ; Work, Shopping, Chores, Family and Friends there's not always a lot of time for an additional thing to invest your time in. It is possible to be Overloaded with stuff to do.

    If I were to personnaly use that phrase, it would probably be because I'm too occupied with other things.

    I do believe that as a boyfriend we deserve some time together. That is why, if I can't offer that time due to my schedule, then accepting to participate into a relationship is bound to fail immediately.
    Ense the "I don't want a relationship right now, it's outside of my capacity to do so."

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  • I only use this line when I don't like a girl at all and I dont wanna gurt her feelings is like when girls say" I see you like a brother" aka friendzoning to the highest degree

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  • Obviously, some braindamaged guys DO play games like that (the ones that don't have their ego fulfilled as she put it). She's right about most cases, though - believe him.

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  • Mostly its the guy asking this, it could either mean that he really doesn't or you doesn't like you or that he likes someone else or if you two are really close then it could just be the first thing

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  • I think if a guy says this (and from my experience with my ex), he means what he says. He doesn’t want a relationship, which means he doesn’t want the commitment, or the fact he has to answer to someone/care for someone else, he doesn’t want to remain loyal to someone. Basically, he doesn’t want to put in the work that a relationship needs - he just wants to have fun with someone, with all the benefits a relationship offers (i. e., security, companionship, a stable sexual partner, etc). I wish i had listened to my ex then and not tried to force a relationship (even though it took my going on a date with someone else (before he became my bf) for him to step up his game and “want to” date me)

    Basically, it isn’t worth it.

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    • I agree with you completley something similar it is happenbing to me right now with a guy I like. The problema is that I like him vercy much but he does nto want a serious relationship maybe sex but taht is all and we are not strangers we are causal friends

  • I think it's a little grey. I'm sure sometimes it's genuine, sometimes just used as a cop out.
    I actually used it with someone I'd been talking to online in the week. It was a half truth. I am going through some stuff, I realise I may not be in the right mindset at the mo, but she was also not that attractive to me and was coming on over eagerly, not quite bunny boiler but on the way, thought it was gentler to let her down by putting it on my shoulders rather than pushing my perceived negatives against her.

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  • He either got out of a serious relationship and is taking a break to gather his shattered heart, or he just enjoys being single and hooking up more lol usually one or the other

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  • I am in this position now where I almost have to say that phrase. Because first, I like someone else. Second, I like that girl but not enough to be able to love her.

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    • please then tell her exactly that, instead of letting her guess what that means, just be absolutely honest so she gets the reason and can move on

  • He wants the perks and not the title basically friends with benefits

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  • Lol this is super interesting. But she's mistaken. The way it works (based on personal experience, and a bit of reading) is that guys are pretty easy when it comes to sex. We want to fuck lots of women. It's mostly to do with whether they're sexy, but sometimes, it's simply a hole we need. Unromantic, but true. A fucking hole to make a deposit in. Then sometimes we develop a crush. That is different. That is more focused. That means we would be open to a relationship. Then, sometimes that relationship turns into attachment. A deep relationship. Could last. Or, we find out you are super irritating or boring or just not really what we were looking for.

    So basically, women, you have to find those guys that crush on you, not just the ones that want to fuck you, and then give it a shot, and you may be in luck, you may not. Hint: It helps to have stuff in common.

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  • He's just trying to save your feelings. Pretty much anyone who says that isn't interested in you.

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  • It means he's being honest with you that he's a player. Sheesh! He's being honest about it! We just can't win!

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  • If a guy says that he means he doesn't want a committed relationship with you but at most he could offer you a casual friends-with-benefits.

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    • You re completely right it is unfortunate for us women but ALL guys are like that

  • In my case, it means that I hate the idea of a relationship. I feel trapped whenever I'm committed.

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    • If you're like that you should say that you don't believe in being with one person. Because it's not the matter of not wanting it now it's how you feel about life.

      Saying that you don't want to be in a relationship now implies that you will be later.

    • @Caaarl Most of my friends know about it, and the few times I've acually had to reject someone, they already expected me to say that when they opened up about their feelings since they knew how I felt about relationships.

    • @AD240pCharlie Well that's convient

  • Only watched the first half couldn't watch any further. What bullshit. I know girls like her they want to be In a relationship for all there lives and never evolve themselves. They don't know who they are only who they are in relation to there so.

    But I also know women who are not like that. Independent strong women.

    I can agree that maybe there is a primal urge different. But to assume that is the main part of guys or main force. Or even a important one. You have societal pressure, morals personal experiences, environment, education, upbringing. And many more. What if you just came out of an relationship and you just want to find yourself. There tons of reasons not to want a relationship. If true love strikes that point might change but it's clear that you ain't it.

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  • I don't necessarily think it means he doesn't like you. He probably does but he wants to be able to see other women as well

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  • That girl is mental and should be put back into high school or something

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  • Just getting out of second marriage, so not the woman just the way it is.

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  • No u r wrong he means he is not ready for relationship now at present

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  • She is simply wrong. I'm a good looking guy I've been told. I've had the opportunity to have sex multiple times. All men do not go around looking to fuck everything they can. Most do but all men don't. Regarding the phrase, she is discussing there could be multiple reasons why a guy would say something like that. 1. He is telling the truth, he is emotionally not ready, ex. someone broke up with him or someone close died. 2. He is a fuckboy and doesn't want a relationship, only wants to fuck. 3. He doesn't like you and wants to be nice about it. 4. He can't have a relationship right now because he doesn't have time. Ex. School and practice for some sports take a lot of time. 5. He is tired of relationships because for ex. he hasn't been single for a long time or he found that previous love only hurts in the end. Here are my thoughts on the subject.

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  • When a gay says "he doesn't want a relationship now" it means he doesn't want a relationship now.

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  • She is right. Either he's just being honest with you or he's looking to hook up with any ties.

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  • They just want sex without commitment..

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    • Exactly im in that position right now With a guy Im super attracted, he told me he does not want a relationship, he is 44, and since he finds me attractive but we do know each other for 3 years he wants sex with me but not a relationship, like hanging out to th emovies, like couples do or attend things together, he is not into that beause he does not want a serious relationship with me period.

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    • @Anon-ymous1 so what term you think i tis better to say instead of friends with benefits?

    • @kitty71 Well like I just said, I don't have one. So I suppose it'll have to do for now.

  • It means he just wants to go balls deep.

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  • Nono ofc he wants to date you.. Just not now

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  • Apparently it's what women mean when they say it.

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  • He might just want a booty call.

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  • I think she is 100% right

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  • Didn't watch but to me it means sex

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  • OMG she’s so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  • They are gay

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  • The bigger the beard the bigger the asshole

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  • U in love with a homo or ur ugly af

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  • Lame excuse

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