Says he doesn’t want a relationship but wants to get me pregnant P. S I’ve known this guy for almost a year we matched on tinder. Please help?

[Anonymous]

So he’s always complimented me from my looks to my personality just everything but the thing is he didn’t want a relationship but I did and eventually I found someone I gave it a try and I had to unadd him from snap and quit talking to him. Now few months away when we started talking again he was upset with me for leaving and told me I hurt him and I completely understand that. I apologized Multiple times and he forgave me and we’ve been talking for a few months now again but we started off as friends like usual. here’s the tricky thing he still doesn’t want a relationship he’s a cop im a nursing major trying to get my bachelors. I already have a son which he knows about and has always accepted. So we talk everyday even if it’s just a little bit. He’s told me if I ever need anything to call him and he’s just always been there for me to vent to and all that and that’s cool. But it’s been brought up multiple times about us having a kid together. And when we reconnected he said “ we could’ve had a little us by now” it’s charming it’s cute but I know deep down I really like him but if he’s not wanting a relationship why would he want a baby with me? He’s a great guy don’t get me wrong but I can’t help but be confused because he’s fully admitted he likes me but he’s also told me to not wait around for him bc he doesn’t wanna hold me back and I told him I get to choose how I spend my life and who I spend my time on. There was one point when I wanted to be done and I told him I was bc at the time I was just irritated with him and he just kept being sweet he started talking to me about the kittens he has bc he knows I love animals and it made me laugh bc he genuinely pays attention to me and my interest but if he didn’t want me waiting around for him why not just let me go? Why does he want a baby with me if he isn’t looking for a relationship? I don't know if it matters but he’s Christian. Thanks

Updates

8 mo

So just to clarify we haven’t had sex we haven’t done anything at all like that. As for my son I was raped April of 2020 since you wanna know where his dad is I didn’t add that info in bc it wasn’t valid to the point of what I was asking. I know tinder is a joke I don’t have it or any other dating sites haven’t had it for awhile now. The guy isn’t married he’s a year younger than me. I’m under 23 but over 19. I asked a question to have other people’s input. Never said him and I have had sex.

[richardcory]

Why would he want you to have a child with this man outside of a relationship? I can't think of any good reason.

I am very sorry to hear you were raped, that is horrible. I am concerned that this man is taking advantage of your trauma.

This is ringing all sorts of alarm bells to me. Please listen to the advice of many people here and get out of this relationship - or whatever it is.

Find someone who can love you and care about you. You deserve that and you can have that.

if you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM

[BlackBeauty90]

1st off - WHY are you being so apologetic to a guy that does NOT respect you?
2nd off - WHY are you being so apologetic to a guy who is simply narcissistic?

3rd - WHY are you even giving this guy the time of day? Seriously he's dregs of dregs.

I work in mental health and bluntly this guy is narcissistic (it is why he played the "poor me" victim when you cut him off) and like ALL narcissistic individuals does NOT respect you (otherwise he'd DATE you before talking about a child).

.

4th - you have a young son, how you got him is irrelevant, but put his well being first. The fact you can't identify such obvious RED flags of a BAD situation is quite alarming.

5th - did you even pause once & THINK about what would happen if you got pregnant. You mention you want to do your Nurses - do you WANT to screw up your life/future?

[ShesRad80]

he just wants a baby? but not a relationship, its ass backwards, sorry hadda say it. could be a number of reasons he wants a kid and no relationship. there is something wrong with him and a lot of the nice guy can just be an act. just be careful in general, if i was you i would have less and less contact with him, sounds like he is manipulating you, if you are irritated about something why talk about kittens instead of why you are irritated, something not right here. again be careful

sorry to hear about your backstory, stay strong.

[Staximus]

There's something wrong with a guy who wants a baby with you but not a relationship. He wants you to take care of the baby while he's out fucking around, and then come see you and the baby when it's convenient for him. He's acting like a baby is a dog or something, like he bought you a puppy and and every now and then he could come over and say "aww it's cute". The guy does not understand the seriousness of the situation and is not living in reality.

The last thing you should do is let this guy get you pregnant unless you want to be a single mother and raise a child alone.

[WiccanLady2023]

So let me get this straight you're potentially 24 at the most & have a son already. God knows where or who the boy's father was. Because you don't mention that once.

You met this guy on tinder - which is pretty much the dregs of the dregs of the dating world - and he keeps saying he wants a baby with you. But no relationship.

Newsflash sweetie.

Your "friend" is married
He wants to have unprotected sex
If you happen to have his child well in his mind you already got one, what's another

Do yourself a FAVOUR. Get some self respect. Get some self esteem. STOP falling for men that DO NOT care about you. Your "cop friend" is seeing you as cheap easy sex.

Seriously. If not for yourself do it for your son so he can grow up respecting his mum.

[WiccanLady2023]

Tinder is NOT a website for relationships. No more than plenty of fish & others are.

You want a meaningful relation via online dating then PAY for a membership to EHarmony or others. The payment usually gets rid of the really bottom of the barrel options.

[DaveJord]

What do you need know this guy is not the one, like seriously? No relationship but wants to get you pregnant. He is basically saying I do not want to date you, but I want to have raw dog sex with you, and it might take more than once to get you pregnant.

Then you write a two-page dissertation on it? Like seriously... does this sound right to you?

[WiccanLady2023]

She really needs to get some self respect/esteem if not for herself then for her son.

Quite honestly the guy's looking at her as easy sex and nothing more. Probably married if he's indeed a "cop" and doesn't want to get married.

[DaveJord]

@WiccanLady2023 Agreed

[spartan55]

Who cares why? That's fucked up. I wouldn't be entertaining that dude any further.

[spartan55]

Why won't you give your actual age?

[Truthatanycost]

It's a slightly more in depth way of saying he just wants sex without commitment.

[HelpfulWoman]

Red flag waving, I repeat red flag waving. End it and get on with your life.

[Unit1]

I do not need to read a single word of that. He wants sex only and nothing beyond that. Easy.

[Nemesis2k7]

He wants to use you as a c*m dumpster. Sorry. Facts though. He is future faking, telling you what you want to hear. Run.

[Billlewis]

I think that sounds hot as hell.

[OlderAndWiser]

How many baby daddies do you want to have?

[Anonymous]

Matched on Tinder!

Oh, dear!