What does it mean when he says he doesn't want a relationship but still likes hanging out with you?

[Anonymous]

So before you jump to conclusions he's just usng me for sex let me explain. So from the very beginning, my ex told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because he just simply wasn't looking for one. He was in school and had a few jobs and other goals plus perhaps the simple fact he just wanted to be free and single. However, I was in love with him so obviously I was stubborn with my feelings and whenever I got a chance to be with him I went for it. So in other words, even though he said he didn't want a relationship, he still invited me over, watched movies, and didn't always have sex. Plus, he included me in some family stuff here and there. Overall, I knew he had a thing for me but when the whole relationship thing would come up, he would directly say no he doesn't want one at the moment. I started thinking he probably just wants his cake and eat it too which isn't necessarily a bad thing. He liked me but didn't want a serious relationship. Now that we have broken up, it's funny how the last few days he was very sweet to me. We even had sex after not having sex for a while as a real couple. It's almost like this psychological thing happens where knowing were in a relationship, there's pressure, but once we know we're free, we're more open and free to each other and there's just positive vibes. So this brings me to think about when he said he doesn't want a relationship-is he just afraid of commitment and responsibility? Or did it have to do with me? he didn't like me enough to be in a relationship? What does it mean when a guy says they dont want a relationship yet still shows he wants you?

[joeb73]

I think for him it is a commitment issue and the pressures he feels about it. if you both are ok with it then there is no problem. But I would be sure to clarify that you to will only sleep with each other and no one else

[Asker]

Thats def something I was clear about in the beginning, I was just afraid of the possibility of him using me for sex. But luckily, it grew into something more than sex. So in that case, what is it about commitment that might scare him? you said the pressures but like what? He recently said while breaking up that he "stresses out" making time for me while being busy.

[serious]

I think he likes you a lot but is somewhat indecisive or he might have had some bad experiences previously., or he has some fears related to commitment.

[Asker]

So what am I supposed to do if I want it to work? How will he be able to commit? or when can he tell he's ready?

[serious]

Well what you can do is try to ease his fears, be understanding and supportive towards, be there for him when he needs you. That's all you can do, but then eventually he has to make his decision, he has to make his decision to commit to you.

You never know how long it will take, it might take a long while also. How patient are you as a person, are you willing to wait?

[Asker]

Im actually running out of patience, but I still want him as a boyfriend so I don't know what to do.

[serious]

How long has this been going on?

[Asker]

Well its been like a few days since officially breaking up. I know its fresh but it feels forever and at this rate, I don't know if I'll be able to move on. As much as I think moving on will probably give us a better chance at getting back together and actually being serious, I just want him back now and have our relationship going again. But I think I did a pretty good job in the end, I kinda did what you said which was be understanding and supportive of his decisions and leave with a positive attitude. I would hope that left him with a good impression and attracted him. Now Im just hoping for a miracle to happen, even a text of him saying he misses me.

[Militanthex]

I mean it could just genuinely mean his not ready for a relationship right now, could be commitment issues, could be previous relationships. Until you talk to him and ask him openly then you will never know for sure. He clearly likes you to be inviting you out etc I'd let it be and enjoy it for what it is and whatever happens happens

[CountryBoy21777]

He just wants in your pants