I struggle with anger and envy?

[Anonymous]

I am autistic and epileptic and had a lifelong struggle with managing these and being accepted. It was much harder for me to learn social skills, coordination, and learning stuff in general than others, and therefore much harder to make friends, get a romantic partner, and get employment.

I am now married, have a job, and able to make friends. I still have a lot of envy towards people who got high paying jobs right out of school, people who make friends very easily, people who had a rotation of romantic partners, and people who seem to have a Midas touch like money just flows into their bank account, and those who have children (my wife has cystic ovaries and the odds are not in our favour) I just feel like everything I have at this point I had to fight for, and those people did less work and still have much more than me. It makes me angry whenever I see it. How do I get rid of this anger?

[Whatthefluff]

The problem is that you’re comparing yourself to others. Success is not a one-way track, but a graduation of accomplishments on an individual scale. You are going to be miserable if you keep internally competing with your peers, since your and their life trajectories were going to be different from the beginning.
If seeing these things on social media is the trigger, take a break. By nature, we tend to fixate on only the negative parts of a situation. Take account of your own accomplishments and reasons to be grateful every day. Bitterness is not a good look.

[Asker]

I've tried to get away from that, but even without social media, it's in my face all the time. My sister has a high paying job and two little daughters and I have to see them at family gatherings. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law both have children, and I have to see them at my wife's family gatherings. My childhood friend got a job opportunity abroad, and his leaving was hard for me because he is one of the few people I don't have to wear a mask around. He came back to visit his mother recently, and he visited me also, and had lots of interesting stories that made my life look pale in comparison. As a pilot in this job he gets to see the world. Even if I stay off social media, I can't get away from it.