Do you try to change negative experiences into the positive ones?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

For example 20th of February, is a painful day in my memory.

I made it my goal to do something memorable on that day, to celebrate my little victory and make that day a positive memory in my life history.

[AmeerX]

I try to do it by finding positives in the negative situations 😄.

If someone told me to flee from something just because it's going to be harm I want to go prove them wrong.

Like, my father's case, I was told to pay bribes or he won't come out. We didn't and I remained steadfast. I just find it so funny now when people say they are refugees because of something bad at home especially men. Men are made to work and change a situation unlike women who will cry about it and not use their hands. 😅 Alright so you left your country because you are poor, wow great but I won't be doing it is what I have told everyone irl. This one isn't going to escape

[incorrected]

Yes, for instance my teenage depression kept me from success with the opposite sex despite getting felt up by attractive girls all the time 'cos I was ripped, but at least I didn't have a kid too early! I have bone crushing loneliness, but at least I don't feel that way 'in a relationship'.

[Anonymous]

I don’t try to have control and change them. But I do try to change how I feel and change the reaction I have with it.
This month is 17 years since I had a baby that I eventually gave up to a husband and wife that wanted a child, so it really worked out at the time. Sometimes the child contacts me mad angry that I gave her away - I don’t respond to her - I know she will be okay with time like everyone in most cases.


On her birthday I like to be alone and not tal. To anyone and not go online or anything. Just be home quiet with myself and process it.


So yeah for me I can make something turn into something on a positive note

[IslaTheWitch]

I learn my lessons; it makes painful things bearable, and with time, you remember what you learned, not painful things.

[DJB72]

Oddly, 20th February is a bad day for me. Not anything I can change or put a positive spin onto.

Some stuff though.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am so sorry…

[DJB72]

It's a long time ago. My brother was killed in a road accident. It's hard to find a positive spin on that 🤔

[AviatorTom]

We learn best from our mistakes. So yes, turn lemons into lemonade... whenever you can.

[Anonymous]

No. I think I’m out of touch with that. I see positive and negative things.. but I don’t let either of them consume me. I stay even through all of it. I appreciate the positive and in learn and grow from the negative. That’s it. Nothing special for me has to be done.

[tfan1]

I try to but sometimes the hurt wins over 😞. For example I used to get excited when my birthday comes around - May 22, 1978. But on May 23, 2005, my dad passed away from esophageal cancer. 💔😢😭

[DagonbroughtMehere]

So long as I learn from it, that is a possitive.

[Alina_980]

It happened like he hurt me badly 24 Oct and later on he proposed me on the same day and I said yes.

[SunnyRS]

I do try it.
If I keep focusing on the bad then it would be difficult to move forward so I try to find the positive in it, still it is not possible everytime.

[MarkDown]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/dZfGTL2PY3E

This sums up all I have to say on the matter.

[TheSpider]

Its a good idea. St. Paul said: Tribulation is a good thing. Tribulation teaches us experience, patience and gives us hope.

[CozyCoffin]

Nah. I just see them as something to be learned from but still negative.

[love_conquers_lust]

I have to constantly do it to console women because they bitch a lot.

[MikeyPH85]

Definitely especially with the life I've had so far I've learned that the best way to live is to look for the best in everything!!

[CuriousMufuxka]

Um do you mean January? Couldn't have been that painful if you didn't say the correct fuckin month lol!

[spartan55]

Break up anniversary?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nope. That is in August. That’s not a painful day, don’t even remember which day it was exactly.

[spartan55]

Oh, well whatever painful experience you had later this month I hope you can replace it with a happy one. How's the leg?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It wasn’t painful. Mainly because we sat down, talked and decided to break up - together. That was a mutual decision, even though I found it harder to let it go later on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I started walking! With crutches, I step 20 kg on that leg and on 20th of February, I want it to be the first day I step without any assistance at all.

[spartan55]

That's unusual that it hit later for you. Don't know if that means anything or not?

[spartan55]

That's great news! How long since your unfortunate accident?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That hit later, because he was addicted to me, we broke up 7 times prior that last break up and he was always coming back to me, telling me, I sat a too high of a standard for him to be able to let me go and that he loved me and couldn’t let me go and I was love of his life.

I was pretty certain he’d be back to me in no time. But a week passed, then two, he moved out of our apartment that he was keeping for the time I’d be back… And he left the city and moved away far from the city we used to live in the past…

And it hit me that this time my bird was free and not going to fly back to me again.

[spartan55]

I tore the peroneal tendon in my foot at work at the end of November. I decided against surgery, seems like I made the right choice.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Before then, I was certain he couldn’t live a day without me, I am a pretty good girlfriend, if you can’t tell, I was certain he wouldn’t be able to be far from me for long.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

11 weeks, but my break was one of the more serious types of breaks, plus two breaks at one bone and this type of break takes 4-6 months to heal, so I am doing well, at this timeline nothing more is expected of me.

[spartan55]

Sorry, we are having two different conversations. SEVEN times? Sounds like my girlfriend in college... we did that nonsense too

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I broke up the first time among these 7. I remember I danced and he called me crying. He broke up almost all the time after that, saying it was a torture for him to be in a long distance relationship for this long. By the time we first broke up it was 2 years after we last saw each other. We finally broke up 5 months later and meanwhile broke up many times.

He told me he was just in torture without sex for such a long time and he didn’t want to cheat on me.

And that, if he ever would cheat on me, he’d not be able to face me ever again, so he would make sure to break up with me before that happened but he told me he was scared that would happen, as he was less and less able to control his hormones.

20th of February was the last day I had sex and last day I saw him and kissed him, in the airport.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We broke up 2.5 years after that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

And China opened up 3 years later…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I went back to China 2.8 months later. He bought me the tickets… But he was gone. He moved to a faraway city, started a new job and moved on.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

This November? How’s the healing going? I missed that comment. Because we have two convos haha

[spartan55]

Lol... how would I be able to tell if you were a good girlfriend or not? You are unintentionally funny sometimes.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hahah, Because how else would a man that wonderful wait for me for 2.5 years?

He had lots of choices and girls after him.

He was a very good catch, as well as personality also looks wise.

He told me after 2 years, “You are the only woman who could make me so love struck to wait her so long. You are the only woman, worth waiting. I don’t know what you have done to me, but for these 2 years, I’ve been waking up dreaming of you and going to bed dreaming of you, you are THAT special of a woman. You should be proud of yourself. I didn’t even know I could love someone, not to mention love someone this deeply.”

And then months after break up, when he met a new woman, he told me “Losing you, will be the regret of my lifetime. You will probably be the last thought of mine on my deathbed.”

So, he obviously thought I was a good girlfriend.

[spartan55]

Just unfortunate you two were so in love... but distance killed it

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh and about being unintentionally funny, you are not the first person to tell me that. My coworkers at work have said that and they loved spending time with me 😄😄

I think one of them likes me too. So I guess that’s not a bad trait.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you, your last comment made my eyes teary.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s very similar to what he looked like, but with short hair and a bit more handsome and athletic actually. Have never seen shoulders as broad as his, even though I have seen lots of hot men.

I made it with AI according to his photos. Wasn’t he handsome?

https://ibb.co/L6NW6NF

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

A lot of Chinese and foreigner girls were after him.

[spartan55]

Yeah, he's a handsome dude. My foot is good. The tendon was torn completely so it won't heal. Surgery would have been 8 weeks of cast/walking boot/pt... I said forget it. I had to work in the office for three weeks and I about went crazy... Lol
That tendon connects to one of the calf muscles so that muscle will atrophy. So I might have 'skinny calf' on my left. No pain at all, but it feels weird when do stuff like climb stairs... whatever I've never had an injury like this... no big deal. Just stitches in my face and head (FOUR different times)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you.

Wait… Did yoI hurt Achilles tendon? I can imagine it will take some time to totally heal and have no discomfort but it’s great you could avoid surgery.

[spartan55]

No not the Achilles, it's called the peroneal tendon, and there are two that attach to your foot below the outside of your ankle.

https://images.app.goo.gl/14oETySU5kJq1LLd8

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh I see! How did you manage that!

[spartan55]

I was moving an oil drum onto a pallet to ship and when I planted my foot something popped. I tried to suck it up for a day but I couldn't even walk on it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Now, you should avoid carrying heavy things. I would still recommend seeing a doctor. You’re young, you don’t want 40 more years having difficulty walking.

[spartan55]

Young? Okay, that's fib to boost my spirits right? Lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No, I mean it! You have half of your life ahead of you

[spartan55]

Well, if I live to be 90+ that will be special lol. You are too kind... thank you.

[Massageman]

That is called "learning".

[Rangers]

There's no positive way to spin it

[Zestyassmf1997]

I just accept that bad things sometimes happen.

[elaphe]

Yes, but it is easier said than done,

[Jennz6]

I try to