Did you grow up with domestic violence in your house growing up? If so, how did you get over any trauma from witnessing it frequently?

[HawkPerception]

I have not, but I am curious about how these traumas affect people and may hold them back in life. I'd love to hear personal experiences if you're comfortable to share.

I don't usually allow anonymous to post due to trolling or extremely rude behaviour, but in this case I want to give anyone a safe space to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

My father was a big strong man and a gentle giant, my mother was short and skinny but a complete psychopath and used to beat my father whenever the redmist came on her. She also used to beat us kids.

Police, social workers and women's aid were involved quite a few times and everytime they took my mother's side as though my father was a monster. Even when my mother stabbed my father she claimed he was drunk and attempting to assault her. Police arrested my father many times despite his black eyes and bruises. As a kid I listened to women's aid volunteers coaching my mother how to divorce my father and get maximum child support and martial property. My mother claimed and still claims my father was a controlling abusive man who used to beat and rape her constantly which was lies. Authorities always believed her no matter what from the age of 12 my father wasn't allowed to see me until I was 18.

The effect all this had on me is that whenever a woman says she is the victim of rape or domestic abuse I don't automatically believe her. I also don't trust Authorities and I refuse to donate or support women's domestic abuse charity women's aid who will support domestic abusers and child abusers if they are women.

[HawkPerception]

I hear ya man. That's rough

[Dongie]

Mine was the worst I ever read about. It took till 1988 to end it. He shot me and 7 months later I shot him. This was January 24th 1987. He survived by the grace of God. 20 months later he stopped. He never hit her again. She told me 31 years of abuse. 3 divorces and hundreds of separations. She always went back. Of 5 kids I'm the youngest. I fought him nearly everyday after I reached 15. He thought he knew hatred for me. I showed him what hate was. A deputy sheriff offered to kill him for my mother. She said no. Other than that I guess that's all I can say about it. Thanks Hawk.

[DrPepper12]

Im so sorry. It shouldn't be like that

[HawkPerception]

That's intense man. The fact is you stepped up and manned up for your mom at a young age. The fact you stood up for your mom at that early age is respectable to say the least.

Although it might have been rough and caused you some trauma that might be messing with you even today, I can tell you it's still impressive to hear how you fought for your mom like that. Anyone who hears that story can only respect you.

[Dongie]

Thanks. It'll be there the rest of my life. I have one person I've talked about here and one out here. There's still lots of people here in town that know of it. I deal with it everyday.

[Dongie]

DrP, thanks.

[DizzyDesii]

My mom came from that and said she wouldn’t do that to us. She probably only hit us once or twice a year in the form of a spanking, so she wasn't a beater like her mom. Her parents also have always treated my sis and I good so that makes my moms blood boil that they’re trying to do right by their grandchildren. Its their “2nd chance”. It bothers me though that they say things like “we treated your mom so good and spoiled her” as if we don’t know she hardly lived with them because of how often they disposed of her. But i let them live in their delusions because i don’t want to bring back up the trauma. My mom hates we don’t bring it up but she also spoils them like they never harmed her, so why will I call them out/punish them when she won’t herself? They were out of her life and she went back to them when she had me. So thats on her. Anyways, once we hit our teen years, my mom became verbally abusive towards us and that still happens here and there but she tries to turn it into a joke. I wouldn’t say I’m traumatized but I will say that I don’t have any respect for any of my family, especially extended fam. Blood is not always thicker than water.

[Anonymous]

yeah, it was just a very abusive household in general and CPS got involved several times. not going into detail bc that shit can sneak up real fast on you with flashbacks lol

but yeah it definitely fucks you up in a way you work against yourself. it's stuff like

- self harm so like burning or cutting yourself so you feel something. literally crashed my bike once bc i wanted to feel pain

- sabatoging a relationship or getting into trouble bc you wanna hurt yourself like it's just instinct

- no trust, so like if someone is nice then you wondering wtf they want. everyone is at a distance

- you'd rather die than accept help, but hey at least im very independent

- being triggered by certain shit and feeling/looking like a huge weirdo bc of it (it's really embarrassing)

- you're ability to handle or process emotions sucks

- whats normal to you isn't actually normal and you really need to learn what isn't

[HawkPerception]

Really appreciate this. Thanks for sharing and I really hope you're okay! If you ever wanna talk or rant, I'd be happy to listen 😊 Maybe speaking about it and systematically breaking it down through introspection can help you get past it.

[Opinion Owner]

i don't think you ever get past trauma but just cope better lol

altho it takes a lot of time, mistakes, and reflection. like im way better than i was 6 years ago before taken out

[HawkPerception]

Time heals all

[DrPepper12]

No but I've had to deal with child abuse as a teacher and my wife was raised in a HORRIFIC domestic violence household. It leaves SCARS that dont heal.

[Iron_Man]

There is none but we did get spanked all of us not a problem

[legalboxers]

drunk father.. I just dealt

[Fireguy17]

no, I was lucky that I did not.

[handsomelad70]

Thankfully, no.