Where can the good people be found?

[CruelParadise]

Where are the people with the good qualities? Not the ones who have addictions, mental health issues, toxic or overly sexual. Where are the people who have good qualities that run deep the ones with good character? I’m just not sure

[ProbablyClueless]

They just kind of appear as a consequence of you living your life.

All you can do is hold yourself to the highest standards you can and maintain firm boundaries with the people in your life. Unhealthy people will be turned away by firm boundaries, while healthy people will be drawn to them.

[CruelParadise]

yea I feel like that’s true. Negative influencing people usually ignore people who stick to their own beliefs and agendas. As long as they aren’t trying to sabotage or something like that

[ProbablyClueless]

My biggest mistake earlier in life is that I was too patient and understanding with people. They would behave badly somehow; sabotage a friendship, publicly embarrass me, waste my time somehow; and then I would forgive them because I just assumed they didn't know any better.

What I've realized over time is that the problem isn't whether they know better. The problem is that they don't care. They simply don't care about the way their actions impact the world around them. And they will never change.

As soon as I realized that. I realized that I couldn't afford to have people like that around me. Even if I genuinely liked them besides.

[midnightmoon05]

If you are in HS… you should be able to learn about different personalities… those who are focused in their studies… with good family values…

my daughter’s freshman year… at 14… she had some dramas with other girls… then she learned (with our guidance)… out to make quailtiy friends… you can also watch YouTube…

but those who are focusing on their study … tennis.. are decent.

[CruelParadise]

Thanks seems like a start

[WhitneySnow]

Very hard to find people like that online. Hopefully they exist in real life in your friend group.

[CruelParadise]

They’re fine just feels really shallow to me

[WhitneySnow]

I get it. You need one person you can really trust to be your bestie. You might find them online, but more likely irl.

[Blunky]

Can you define "good"?

People aren't born deep, life makes them deep. Gotta have experience, something you're not going to find much of in your age group.

Instead of looking for people with specific experiences, find people to gain those experiences with in a positive manner.

[Lionman95]

I would say in every day life. It just takes more time to find them. The people that have problems are just easier to be found. People that have good qualities don´t show them right away. They have their own issues and no one is perfect. Take patience while dating and get to know a person thoroughly.

[Shiprex]

All around though they aren't shouting about it all the time. They're usually getting stuff done often for themselves but others too. A lot of people are just pissed off at things because there's too little hope out there

[CruelParadise]

That makes sense

[Nikki1989]

They are hanging with the other good people.

[CruelParadise]

that’s nice to know :)

[fish5505_87]

People who have addictions, mental health issues, are not necessarily, bad people. You might learn something from someone who is recovering? Keep the best company you can, they will find you!

[CruelParadise]

thank you

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In my opinion and experience, everywhere.

Over the course of time, I found some at high school, at college, online, in the streets, in bars and in various events I don't even recall.

[Agape93]

Not here, or anywhere online and most people offline if you consider having mental health issues make one a bad person.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You want a mormon, that’s pretty much what you just described.

[CruelParadise]

I didn’t ask for a saint or god himself. I mean like old time activists or individuals like Mandela. Or Jfk

[Blunky]

Doesn't want mental health issues.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I know it's a joke, and I don't wish to ruin it, but I'm going to do it anyway.
I don't think Mormons, or any other religious social group, would be especially freed from mental health issues, addictions and problematic behaviors. Though they could be better at hiding/masking their troubles, to conform to the ideals of such groups

[jahaims]

You have to get better at spotting them.

[BarryLiverstone]

Growing up in church I’ve met good people

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s an example of good character?

[CruelParadise]

Someone with more positive in them than negative. I watched Disney’s queen of Katwe and Fiona’s coach kept pushing her and the other pioneers in a good direction. To do better for herself and when she does better she can do better for others too.

[CruelParadise]

I feel like a lot of people don’t have this. Not too many people have real positivity that’s not just like a mental defect

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok that makes sense. As a coach he had some experience so he could guide her and keep her from fear of the unknown. As you said in a positive way can be inspiring and comforting

[BarryLiverstone]

Tbh my core strength and positive energy comes from God. I feel like some people put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect and the source of all energy and effort and that can feel exhausting yk?

[BarryLiverstone]

Ugh, I’ve talked to people online who may have mental issues and tbh I feel like they can drain my energy. Like I wanna help them but it’s a balance

[CruelParadise]

Yeah that makes sense. I wish more people had those qualities without faking it, if that’s even a thing. And they had that without like being trained for it or whatever. I never even met a mentor that seemed positive like the one in that film. I wish I had teachers that were like him but I just see they have their pets and their friends and that’s probably it tbh

[BarryLiverstone]

True, you don’t want to be around fakeness as that’s not fulfilling and you can’t relax. Good mentors are valuable as they care about others and want to give because they were once blessed to receive. Having a giving heart is a gift

[CruelParadise]

I don't know I could be wrong but I feel like the consumer culture has wiped out the traditions of giving. It seems unnatural to give and when people do give it’s always a competition. Like during holidays and giving the most EXPENSIVE. Idk… just where’s the good. Where are the good elders. Will our generations grow up to be good elders? Maybe it’s just me. Others seem okay with the people who surround them

[BarryLiverstone]

You nailed it. One challenge with consumer and online culture is the pure size. It’s competition you can never win because it’s millions.

A more supportive and healthy culture is 100 or less people. Found in churches, schools, families.. it’s people who want to give because they know giving helps the community and see it. They want to love others and guide the next generation. It’s the elders who are respected and counseled and people who struggle can find safety.

[BarryLiverstone]

Even in the Bible the story where Jesus feeds his flock there were only 1,000 people fed at most that day, not millions:

“In the Gospels (Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:30-44, Luke 9:10-17, John 6:1-14), Jesus is confronted with a large crowd of people who have come to hear him preach. He tells his disciples to give the people food, but they say they only have a small amount: five loaves of bread and two fish. “

[CruelParadise]

yea I feel like that’s kind of true..

[CruelParadise]

no offense but it’s difficult for me to take religious people serious all the time. I feel like they can have good hearts but maybe they’re not always the brightest. I also think the Bible is kind of comforting but only if I pretend it’s real. For me it’s like a pretend friend

[CruelParadise]

I guess I can try to see the value in it and apply it to my life

[CruelParadise]

thanks

[BarryLiverstone]

I don’t take offense at all. Unfortunately some people fake being religious and that can turn others off. I was blessed to have a good family, including a grandpa who was a minister and my cousin is a preacher. I still had to find God myself but it’s my source of happiness. So I don’t take offense as everyone has a difference in their lives and I can’t know that experience yk

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. I’m sure I typed too much to answer but as you can see I’m willing to have others judge me to try and be myself online. Better than being “perfect “ and fake

[CruelParadise]

I’m jealous… that’s so cool, having family preachers

[CruelParadise]

you seem lucky and a positive person I’m glad I came across your answer. I might try to read the Bible again I don't know

[CruelParadise]

yea you seem authentic. I hope there will be more people like you in the world just way way too many shallow people and it’s sickening. For me it’s almost suffocating 🤦‍♀️

[CruelParadise]

rlly thanks for the honest advice and positive reminder

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Good luck

[CruelParadise]

thanks u too

[Fury_storm]

people your age don't have that many issues

[CruelParadise]

I’ve mostly talked to people online and good things never really came from it. Connections in school are also usually just shallow and it just feels weird. I don't know why I feel tired of it but I do

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Nowhere

[CruelParadise]

you’re not a good person?

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Nope

[CruelParadise]

Well I’m a good person. And nowhere is actually where I am so I guess you were right

[PaleDale]

In church.