How many good people are out there?

[lara8]

Honestly, who here is loyal in a monogomous relationship and by loyal i mean not just physically, this includes not fantasising about others, only having eyes for one etc etc

yes i am :)

no i am not :(

[biggersmack1]

Lara, In my opinion, based on my and my friends experience, the only way you have ANY slim chance of finding a guy that only finds you attractive, is to find a guy now that is looking for his first love. And then keep him. Young men love harder. When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with my first girlfriend, so much that it left me emotionally unstable. This was a major complaint of my ex. I would start crying when things weren't perfect. When she broke my heart, it took me 1 1/2 years to overcome it. And I have seen this happen to so many other young guys as well. Young men love harder, because they have not yet put up with heartbreak and women's crap. I wish my young relationship had lasted. I would have been shielded from so much garbage that I have seen from women over the years.
When I rebuilt myself, I made myself an emotional rock, and got much stronger self confidence. I hung around with a divorced woman in my 20's who taught me how to be a man.
I was committed to being a virgin until my wedding day, and am totally faithful. Yet, even though my wife sexually satisfies me, I do have fantasies. And I do find other women attractive.
You are asking for something that is not natural for a man. Men find attraction with their eyes.

[lara8]

well i’m my opinion if you fantasise about other women you are vermin. it’s disgusting people make excuses for guys purely because they are guys. it’s sexist, disgraceful behaviour and it makes me sick

[SjE78]

I am always loyal regardless of what relationship i've been in... i was accused by my first ex of cheating and when they even said it infront of a room full of people who know me... they all pointed out how deranged and silly she was for even considering thinking about that... funny part was she ended up cheating on me for a year before ending it, also there was a lad she became quite close to before the one she left me for... and he was trying to get her to leave me and talk her into taking my kids from me (2 kids at the time) but he had to approach the house absolutely drunk as hell, cos he thought it would make a difference lol

[lara8]

that’s a shitty experience

[SjE78]

yep unfortunately

[lizziepooh03]

If you expect to be in a relationship with a man and expect him to not find others attractive or being turned on by others, then I expect you are in for a whole life of disappointment. It is unrealistic and unfair to expect this.

Why does it bother you so much? Him being turned on by someone or something other than you does not take away from what he feels for you? Why do you think it does? What do you fear about it?

[lara8]

id rather lead a life of dissapointment than be cheated on. if he’s being turned on by others i don’t want him, i’m better than that. it bothers me because he would have committed to being in a monogomous relationship ship, if he can’t do that, don’t commit. i don’t ‘fear’ it, if someone does it i’ll simply leave, no question.

[seano469]

I hear you same with females but

[seano469]

I've never cheated on anyone

[lara8]

@seano469 ‘females’

[lara8]

@seano469 what do you define cheating as?

[seano469]

Anything that is sexual

[lara8]

@seano469 what about emotional affairs?

[lizziepooh03]

Expecting a man not to be turned on by other women is like expecting the sun not to rise in the morning.

It is useless because it is going to happen whether you want it to or not.

There is no morality to it; it is just default sexual nature.

Morality actually comes into play by not acting on it. Most men will be attracted to other women and most men, that value monogamy, will be monogamous.

You are being very naive. Every guy you will date will be attracted to others; not every guy you will date will cheat on you.

There is no correlation between being attracted to others and cheating.

[lara8]

funny, you’re making exceptions because he is a man. men can not cheat just as much as women, yes they cheat more but the key word is CHOOSE
it isn’t default sexual nature because psychologically when someone is truly in love with someone else, their brain/chemicals actually chang and the way they see other people changes.
just because i don’t agree doesn’t make me naive, it makes you a bigot.
to me being attracted to others is cheating, if you don’t mind people not being loyal that’s your choice

[lizziepooh03]

@lara8 I am not sure why you believe this to be true.

"it isn’t default sexual nature because psychologically when someone is truly in love with someone else, their brain/chemicals actually chang and the way they see other people changes."

I get that you believe this is true - if you are in love, you will not be turned on by anyone else.

But what you believe is not true. Even you, at some point in the future when you are in a relationship, will at some point find someone else attractive.

And men especially, since they are visually turned on more than women, will be find others attractive.

I would make a bet with you right now that if you ever dated a guy that was not asexual and he claimed he did not find other women attractive, he would be lying to you.

And is that what you want? Do you want a man to lie to you because he is too afraid of telling you the truth? That is what you will get if you keep insisting that the person you date does not find anyone else attractive.

You may continue to believe this but it won't make it true.

Just saying...

[lara8]

why do i believe it? because it’s scientific
if a man lies to me about it then guess what? he can go in the trash with the rest that have done it
you saying anything else won’t make it less true. i guess i’ll just have to stick to the lady side of my bisexuality :)

just saying...

[lizziepooh03]

So you are bisexual but still very unenlightened sexually.

It may be best if you decide to be single for now and work out your issues. I would hate to be the one that gets in a relationship with you and has to deal with the grief you will cause from your own fears and insecurities.

I wish the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. And I wish luck to the person that has to put up with you and your nonsensical beliefs. :)

[lara8]

the fact you’re surprised i’m bisexual and apparently ‘unenlightened’ sexually is disgusting, to assume bisexual people are somehow overly sexual
just because YOU disagree doesn’t mean i stay single, i’m not insecure if anything i know what i am and what i want and what i don’t get it they can leave.
Sorry to hear men don’t find you enough though :/

[lizziepooh03]

Ok. Good to see you do not have any issues. Lol!

[tempolocus]

according to this i’m not loyal, bc i do find other men attractive still while in a relationship. but i wouldn’t ever cheat or even think about cheating on my partner. if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t find other people attractive when they’re in a relationship than you need to get a little more realistic.

[lara8]

i am realistic thank you very much

[tempolocus]

i wasn’t saying YOU weren’t i meant anyone who does think that but ok?

[lara8]

which includes me

[tempolocus]

then you’re obviously not thinking realistically as well oops

[lara8]

so because you disagree i’m not being realistic? uh hun the world doesn’t revolve around you

[humanearth]

Still married after 24 years and this summer will make it 25 years. We will renew our vows and the original wedding party.

[lara8]

oo very nice

[sassy1433]

I’m am a good person. When I’m with someone, I’m 100% loyal.

[lara8]

very cool 😀

[SlothySlob]

Looking at it realistically, noone is that "perfect". I can't imagine anyone being completely devoted to one person with no sexual thoughts or similar for others.

[lara8]

well then they can fuck off if they do. loyalty or nothing

[SlothySlob]

Then it'll be nothing for a long time until you realize that you can't control someone's thoughts.

[lara8]

where did i say i want to control someone’s thoughts? point me in that direction

[SlothySlob]

If someone wishes to be in a relationship with you, you want them to behave in a very specific and restricted way. Emotions and process of thought needs to be reworked, by the individual, to suit your wants, in other words, controlling their thoughts.

Let's be real, you want the person you date to lust only over you and everyone else in the world is non-existent. Your interpretation of loyalty is what clash with other peoples interpretation of it.

[lara8]

ssl if someone wishes to be in a relationship with you and you want them to be kind and gentle for example, that’s controlling their thoughts?
and yes whoever dates me i want them to lust over only me and if they can’t do t fuck off
do i give a shit if my definition clashes with others? no because i’m not dating them so take your entitlement and go

[SlothySlob]

There's a different between being nice to you and fanatically worship you.

[lara8]

i’m not controlling anyone, if they don’t do it that’s fine they can leave. i’m not changing anyone, just picking someone already like that. i’ll worship them they worship me simple

[SlothySlob]

Yes you will change them. No one is like that.

[lara8]

i won't change them i’ve just said that, if you don’t wanna read then leave. if they aren’t like that i won’t be with them in the first place. all or nothing

[SlothySlob]

But you don't understand, you will change them as they will change you. Being in a relationship isn't just for status. The two of you need to find a good balance of compromise and understanding. If you can't accept that men will innately look or even glance at breasts, butt, hips, lips, anything that strikes their fancy even if it's not the one they are in a relationship in, then it's going to be nothing for a long time.

[lara8]

i don’t understand? fuck off i don’t NEED to compromise on this. and men do not innately do that, that’s sexist. you’re disgusting

[SlothySlob]

How is it not innate? Men fuck women based on looks, women fuck men based on their characteristics.

[lara8]

you’re so out of whack. you do realise that ‘ men go for looks women go for personality’ is just a fraction of what they think. it isn’t everything. it just means men go for looks a tiny bit more. it’s not overly true at all so fuck off with your sexist bullshit

[SlothySlob]

Oh really? So when a guy walks up to a girl in a bar in hopes to hit it off, he knows everything about her, because her looks are just that tiny factor in this.

[lara8]

so when a girl approaches a guy she knows everything about him?

[SlothySlob]

When has that happened?

[lara8]

what? it happens all the time

[SlothySlob]

In what kind of a shithole do you live where guys have no balls and wait for you to come talk to you?

[lara8]

ok so you’re double sexist. bye

[SlothySlob]

Sexist against men and men, sexist 2men. Nice.

[lara8]

what? fuck off

[Cowboy6666]

I'm single but if I had a girlfriend I'd live with her whole of my life n will always love n respect her ☺️

[lara8]

aw cute

[Cowboy6666]

by the way are u single yourself?

[lara8]

um yeah but i’m 17..

[Cowboy6666]

Yeah I can see you are 17. Not asking u for friendship. Lol

[lara8]

okayy

[CandacePerry]

Bra the way woman cheat as well. as well as lying too. When I was talking to my boyfriend abs he said thar her his ex girlfriend all cheated on hi, before I met him. Wouldn’t date you at all. I stick to my boyfriend

[lara8]

lmao

[CandacePerry]

It very true.

[CandacePerry]

So yo not safety any one any way..

[sawno]

I am genuinely looking for a faithful everlasting loving relationship.

[sawno]

That said the no fantasies and no eyes for others will not happen if you mean that very strictly. A partner will almost always look at others and that is fine if they don't act upon it.

[lara8]

it’s not fine, if they do it they can fuck off

[sawno]

Then you are going to leave out pretty much everyone but the most insecure and easily controllable. I am really monogamous and committed to a partner, but she should understand looking is normal and has no impact on our relationship. If she is so insecure she needs to be that restrictive on me we simply are not a good match.

[lara8]

why should she understand? no fuck off, if she doesn’t like it she can tell you to go she doesn’t have to do anything. disgusting. it has nothing to do with insecurity

[sawno]

Fair enough but like i said guys who are fine with those kinds of restrictions are rightfully very rare. So the answer to your question then becomes very few. Not because they aren't genuinely great guys. But because your demands are very restrictive on there freedom.

[lara8]

i’m restricting freedom? don’t get into a monogomous relationship if you can’t handle being monogomous. it’s your own choice

[Anonymous]

OMG, I just read this question and all of your responses here and you come off as a complete douche. What is wrong with you?

[lara8]

oo so edgy i’m a douche for wanting loyalty go and cry about it

[Opinion Owner]

No, you call people racist cunts for essentially agreeing with you. And you make a complete ass of yourself pretty much wherever you post here at GAG. So yeah, you're a douche.

[lara8]

uhh no

[Opinion Owner]

Uh yep

[ItsTheNephilim]

I can say that I am if that's what you mean by 'good'. Always been into monogamy.

[Guardian45]

I'm a bit of a unicorn. I'm 100% loyal to my SOs, and it takes me a long-ass time to get over a bad relationship.

[lara8]

lots of us just hard to find

[Guardian45]

Yes a good woman is hard to find.

[lara8]

um? ok

[Guardian45]

I've been cheated on.

[lara8]

okay

[Nadim171]

I am always loyal. ONE man and ONE woman is the right kind of relationships

[lara8]

incorrect

[Nadim171]

Ok, so... after all the so callrd "women's rights" thing you like muslims who marry 4 wives at the same time?

[lara8]

why not

[Nadim171]

So... actually it's the same as cheating but as long as it's muslims who's doing it it's right

[lara8]

it’s not cheating. you’re so racist

[Nadim171]

I'm Egyptian, so... I'm racist against myself right? Has nothing to do with race, Islam isn't a race it's something you chose

[lara8]

you can be racist and be egyptian

[Nadim171]

Well... we really don't know what's considered racist these days.
But white man's bad, Muslim suicide bomber good

[lara8]

fuck off racist cunt

[Nadim171]

😂 yeah sorry I'm racist to myself...

[Dav1ss]

I'm 100% loyal if I'm with someone

[Anonymous]

You're naive if you buy people self-reporting themselves as "good" and loyal.

[lara8]

ah true they might lie
however you believing this is anything more than a little conversation is pretty naive ;)

[Opinion Owner]

I never stated to believe anything, that's on your own comprehension skill deficiency.

All I can say is, you follow an idealistic path and you'll hurt yourself the most. People will have fantasies you want it or not.

[lara8]

i never said they can’t have fantasies :) if they do and aren’t about me they can call the next cab out of my life

[lara8]

i can see you’re a bit frustrated being categorised as not a good guy :( boo hoo

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck thinking there's any good in people once past the innocence of your age, I'm just trying to help you get used to it. You're young and you can spare yourself unnecessary pain.

[lara8]

typical self riteous man

[Opinion Owner]

How you take it is your choice, though.

[Iron_Man]

I am a good man

[lara8]

you sure?

[Iron_Man]

Stop trolling

[lara8]

trololol
asking a question isn’t trolling my dear

[Iron_Man]

You are trolling me in other areas

[lara8]

i’m really not

[Iron_Man]

You are my new stalker I see your all over the place where I am at posting after me in my area.

[lara8]

you aren’t the only one allowed to comment. narcassisic much

[Iron_Man]

It's alright I've seen plenty of girls like you stalking me on here and other sites before, I'm used to it they don't know how to get along and say nice things so what they do is try to get my attention by being a wise ass taking pop shots at me.

[lara8]

uhh this is MY question so if anything you’re stalking me. also no one cares about getting your attention. this is a site where people interact, if you just do happen to be there, you will interact. don’t like it don’t use it

[Iron_Man]

What a clown nice comeback but you failed. Anyway were done here rookie

[lara8]

looks like someone needs to go to grammar school

[Iron_Man]

You have no idea what you're talking about and you're not going to push my buttons. I'm done with you in time out you go for a while

[lara8]

i clearly am

[s2firestar]

You really cannot comtrol fantasy...

[lara8]

stay the fuck out of a relationship then :)

[s2firestar]

First of all: watching porn or havimg fantasies is not a crime.

ACTING ON THEM is.

Second: I don't date. I am a military pilot and I am married to my job and to my aircraft. I don't have time for drama.

Third: When I say you cannot control imagination I mean it. Subconscious that is responsible for generating most of your imagination is SUBconsciousness. There is literally no control above it.

[lara8]

according to you they’re not bad.

[s2firestar]

So you would have a partner whom you can invade to the level that you even want to control what they think about?

I would say maybe you are the one who should stay away from guys.

[lara8]

show me where i said that?

[s2firestar]

You are implying it. Well, not that you directly exert that control, but you demand it, such that the person tries to exert that self-control (which is detrimental). And you associate this with "being good".

[lara8]

so did i say it or did i not say it?

[s2firestar]

Implication and context cannot be discarded.

[lara8]

did i say it or not?

[MatinBrumeux]

Exactly three

[Reddwolf]

I was raised to be loyal to only one woman

[lara8]

most people are raised to go for monogomy and i have a separate issue with that. but it’s great you’re loyal in your chosen relationship structure!

[Reddwolf]

Why do you have a separate issue with it

[lara8]

because in western society most people are raised by society to believe monogomy is the only way, or the only ethical way to date

[Reddwolf]

What is wrong with a guy wanting one woman

[lara8]

nothing at all, where did i say there was something wrong?

[Reddwolf]

You said that you have a separate issue with it I'm trying to understand

[lara8]

i’ve explained, re read it. if you still don’t understand then come back

[Reddwolf]

So you want to be in a multiple relationship

[lara8]

no. READ it

[Reddwolf]

I did still not understanding

[lara8]

right some people want one person some people want multiple people BUT consensually. there are other ways
all ways are fine but society tells us only the first one is

[Reddwolf]

Who says that we need to listen to society

[lara8]

we don’t you are correct
but if all we hear is one thing we won’t know what else is out there

[seano469]

No personal choice

[lara8]

huh?

[seano469]

That's just who I am dependable on emotional problem

[lara8]

not understanding here