How are you on your healing journey?

[Dbman99]

First of all I’d like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and happy new year yesterday was not ideal as, I am an autistic adult, 48, I also suffer severely from intrusive thoughts and OCD. I did call 988 yesterday I just felt I needed to reach out. One thing that has been bothering me is that I’ve never been in a relationship before. Now I’ve had some strong friends in my corner and I’ve always fallen in love with them. However, I really feel like I’m learning to realize that maybe one of my issues is I’m looking for a caretaker. Sort of. I have my moments where I can be strong and I’ve talked to people and I’ve been a good friend. But I don’t wanna be alone anymore. It hurts more than you might know, maybe. Also, I feel like I was too much for a friend yesterday. Who also is in her 40s and who I am very fond of. But she felt like she couldn’t take on me and her own healing journey at the same time not that she doesn’t want to give advice, but she says you have to learn to start to make choices. And maybe me being autistic doesn’t always read these cues. However, I would like to say that I was just thinking a lot today and maybe one of my issues in relationships other than wanting a “caretaker”, is I am looking for my past to be fulfilled. The absence of consistent parenting. The absence of a senior prom. The absence of a high school girlfriend or a college girlfriend. And I think maybe I want someone to fill those voids so I can feel complete before I move forward. Maybe I am and maybe what she was telling me is you do have the strength inside of yourself and you can do this. My only concern now is that I’m 48 and how long does a consistent healing journey take? Am I gonna wait another 10 or 20 years? Am I not gonna be ready to date till I’m 75? Do you know what I mean , or is that really something that can’t really be answered. I just wanna find light in the darkness. Thank you, and I wish you all the best.

[FunkyMonkee]

EXTREMELY, LOOOOOOOONG AND SLOW PROCESS!!!
I got these incredibly minor wounds on my legs in June and they've nearly taken over the entire calf on both legs and REFUSE to heal up!!!
And, I lost my ability (for the most part) to walk in July on or around my b-day and have been dealing with that ever since!!! It's something to do with my left hip. At least that seems to be healing up ever so incredibly slowly!! Most days, now, I have little problem with it but it's still not 100%. Maybe 80 - 90%.
As of 2 days ago, it SEEMS, EVER SO SLIGHTLY that the calves ARE actually healing up!! I don't have to wrap them quite as much as I did a few days ago. I expect to be dealing with this shit for another few months. Normally, these only take 3 or 4 weeks to heal!!

[Dbman99]

Sorry you’re going through that. Wishing you the best. God bless you.

[FunkyMonkee]

Thank you!!

[Simslover92]

Merry Christmas to you as well. My healing journey was going great until I made a big mistake recently but it's something I have to live with and move on from it. Now I'm back on it and trying to become more self-aware and listening to my inner voice that tells me when things aren't quite right with a person.

[Nikki1989]

Any healing I had to deal with (physical and emotional abuse) was dealt with by myself using nothing but inner strength, willpower, and positive energy. Once you have acquired that, you can accomplish anything with surprising ease.