Do you hang on to an argument or let it go right away?

[DishLady]

I was debating whether or not it was right to expect an apology for something that a person has repeatedly done to offend me. The way I was raised, the only way to get a repeat "offender" to stop is to hold them accountable for offending you. Not that you're chasing them down for an apology, but just don't let them stay in your inner circle if they're going to keep doing wrong by you. I've had different responses from guys and gals about this:

• Either apologize immediately or just say nothing and next time you see the person just be positive, perhaps do something nice for them.
• Ignore it, let time pass. Time heals all wounds, even the deep ones.
• Repent privately and try to patch things up with the person. (Or if the person has offended you, give them a chance to repent. Perhaps even lead by example in trying to patch things up.)

Which would you do?

[ryanrhino]

Repeatedly done to offend me earns them a spot in the hockey timeout box and it's up to them to be allowed back in, either by apologizing or stopping the upsetting behavior.

[DishLady]

Thats what I think, but perhaps that’s the “old school” way? I’m told nowadays one just lets everything go bc the person is either worth our time or not.

[ryanrhino]

Time is valuable, but if you give someone attention is may inspire change and understanding. It's up to the person wronged to decide how much time to give to improve the situation. For me, a simple text is fleeting, but has the potential to be reuniting and healing. It has been especially true as we age. So yes, maybe this "old school" becomes all of our ways as we age into being older.

[Jeff51]

Depends what the argument was about.

[DishLady]

How so?

[Jeff51]

Minor stuff can be overlooked. Serious arguments needs to be worked out.

[Jeff51]

Thank you for the MHO

[OlderAndWiser]

People who are manipulated into offering an apology are not truly repentant of their offenses. They are merely yielding to your pressure so that you will stop annoying them. I don't see much value in such apologies. When people consistently make me feel uncomfortable, I simply push them out beyond the horizon and not let them reutnr.

[worldscolide]

Unless it's funny, I let it go.

Nine times out of 10, if my wife and I argue, we end up laughing after. I only hang on to the ones that were especially funny.

[DishLady]

I was like that with someone who I felt very close to... but then he pushed me too far and I felt I couldn't trust him anymore. Spoke to him yesterday to try to clear the air before holidays, but it was like talking to a brick wall. I apologized on my side, he accepted, then wished me "have a nice day" -- not even happy holidays. I felt like i was talking to a complete stranger.

Very hurtful in my opinion to act like that, but apparently in "guy world" this is normal, bc what's the guy going to say? "I suck, I'm the worst. I don't know why you bother with me"? Obvi none of the above. So... they just act like it never happened and perhaps do something nice in the future to compensate.

[Spencer10]

Depends on the argument... if it got a bit personal i may hang on to it for a bit. Otherwise I tend to let them roll off my back.

[Cidknee]

I think i have trouble unless it's resolved.

[AgentG111]

Depends on the argument and it's content

[Staximus]

I beat dead horses

[Staximus]

I'm quite notorious for this

[spartan55]

A little equine carnage never hurt anyone. 😂

[Staximus]

@spartan55 my brother's co-worker was over at our house having a couple beers with us and he said "dude are you going to start beating a dead horse again?" And my response was "dude, the horse is still alive. I haven't even started beating it yet"

[spartan55]

@staximus
You should have said "damn right, you helping?"