If a guy doesn't kiss you on your first date, does that mean he's not interested?

Question

The date went well... He paid. He said that he really enjoyed himself and hoped that I did too. He drove me home. But he never kissed me. I felt like we had chemistry, but he never made the move. That being said, he's 34 and separated (was married for 9 years), so I guess it makes sense that he'd want to take things slowly. Am I reading too much into it, or is a lack of kiss on the first date a sign of disinterest?

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

Means he's nervous and likes to move slow.

I've learned that this day in age, if a person is on a date with you, girl or guy, they're interested, otherwise they would not have agreed to the date. 50 years ago that might not have been the case, is with people today who are around our parents age. The dating game has changed. It's no longer a means to get to know a stranger but instead a way to deepen an already growing relationship.

This is especially the case with a women. 99% of the time, a guy isn't going to ask you on a date unless he interested in some way shape or form. Whether that be purely sexual, or for a serious relationship. That being said, many guys are paranoid daters, I'm sort of one of them, but since greatly improved. Women are all over the bored when it comes to their preferences, more so than men. As I always say, some girls want to be treated like a princess, others like a dirty slut, and from the surface its hard to tell which one she is. In other words, one girl may completely welcome if not wish for a kiss on the first date, maybe even more, others would be offended if a guy went in for one. Similar to sexual harassment, most men have decided its best to play it safe than suffer slap the face, a scared or girl, or worse, jail time. This is always why many guys will hesitate to be sexual with you even though I know all they want to do is f*** the sh*t out of you. They are just afraid of offending you or moving to fast, or simply looking like a creepy pervert.

You just have to remember, whether we like it or not, girls are the rule makers when it comes to sex and dating. It's up to them to set the pace and boundaries. You can do this with words or actions. Take more initiative, and usually a guy who isn't completely inept with follow your lead and take over. If you want a kiss, go in for one, or start to flirt harder. If you want him to take things to another level, sit him down over dinner or drinks and let him know that you would like to step things up. Guys greatly appreciate being given these road signs to let them know they are traveling at the right speed and in the right direction. Give us the CLEAR signs, and we're more than happy to assume the drivers seat.

rek101 · Accepted Answer

It doesn't mean that he's not interested.  If I don't kiss a girl it's because I'm interested or because I'm completely disinterested.  If I'm kind of interested and just want a hookup, I'll usually kiss her.  So I'd take it as a positive sign.  It also matters how you know each other.  If it's from online, then that's the first meeting so it is normal not to.  If it's a person you know in person or were friends with at work or something, then it would be more normal to kiss.  But the biggest problem of all is that he's not divorced, but separated.  It's usually a horrible idea to date a guy who isn't actually divorced.  The reason is that when he finally gets divorced, he writes a check.  It's a big check and there is a lot of finality to it and maybe even some bitterness.  He could could have moved out and be living a separate life and seem single, but for a guy, money and writing that check is a big deal.  it's the difference between a guy who hasn't proposed and a guy who goes and buys a ring.  One is serious and ready; the other is just floating.  I'd avoid separated if there's a way to and wait until those papers are signed.

BrighteyedAsh · Accepted Answer

lol my boyfriend and I didn't kiss on the first date. It wasn't because we weren't interested...I just don't typically make the option available on date one. I probably would have. He was just respecting me but I did tell him later that if he'd made that move I'd have been open to it. On date 2 (the next day) we kissed...I initiated so that he'd know I was OK with it since I behaved really  shyly in the beginning.

beerY33 · Accepted Answer

No, that's not a surefire sign he's not interested.

asdaven · Answer

Not at all. It didint feel the right time for him to do so. You gotta be patient.

I always say its a good sign when someone doesn't move quickly. They respect you and your space and are actually contemplating deep down how they feel about you. Men that move fast are users and will just like you for your attractiveness. They might kiss you but them doing so will be moee physical than it is affectionate. People that move too fast are either playing a game or want the feeling of a relationship and love so bad that they "fall in love" with someone in which they have no background with. Be extremely patient and you ll find someone who is good. Backing out on someone too early and migrating towards people who make a move right away, will only result in people in your life who are there for reasons of lust and/or desperation and will end up hurting you. Going all the way to kissing on a first date is way to big of a step. There comes a point where it becomes clear whether or not things are going anywhere. You go on dates to know each other better and discover a connection. Just because your on a date doesn't mean your in love. You date to discover love, which needs time or else that love isn't natural and is just a label where you pretend to be in love.

TheDigitalSaint · Answer

It depends upon the guy. I've waited sometimes as late as the third date to kiss a girl if I sensed she wasn't the touchy feely type. Some girls just give off more vibes that you want to be kissed than others. Sometimes a man holds back if he isn't feeling your enthusiasm about being kissed, or it could be for his own reasons of not going too quickly.

Last but not least, it could be that he's not into you. The final thing is easy to rule out though if you don't contact him other than to say it was enjoyable. If it was truly enjoyable to him as he said, he'll be aiming to set up a second date. In the mean time, stop thinking so much, it won't serve any practical end.

corbmonster · Answer

just my humble opinion:  You're reading too much into it.  I generally make it a point not to kiss on the first date.  Their is no way you've gotten to know this person well enough on just one date to give them an expression of love / affection like that.  I didn't kiss my last girlfriend until our 3rd or 4th date.  If anything it's a good thing because he knows better than to rush into anything.  The two of you have nothing but time.  Enjoy it.  Try not to rush it.  Or question things.  Just enjoy what you are being given.

ExperiencedYetLost · Answer

There is nothing wrong with you making the first move, especially someone that was married for 9 years.  I am sure he is quite jaded towards women, and is going to have a lot of baggage.  Show him that the baggage doesn't matter and make the first move.  Make sure you let him know you have the patience and you are willing to deal with the baggage, and make sure you are able to deal with it yourself.  Dating someone who is fresh to the scene with emotional scares is a lot of work.  Make sure you are both prepared, talk about it, and don't be ashamed to make the first move if you really like him.

Scoopie · Answer

Sometimes one needs more than one date to kiss the other person. I think this especially is true for him, he's older and separated, and now wants to be sure about a girl before he makes the move. So yes, he's probably just taking it slow and doesn't want to rush into anything. On the upside, the moment when he does finally makes the move, you can be sure that he really likes you and is sure about you.

Then there's also the thing that most girls do not kiss on the first date, so that's why I also don't rush things unless we really have had a great time and I can see she's into me a lot and sometimes there's this twinkle in her eye saying she wants me to kiss her. If I notice that sign and I'm into her, then I'll make a move.

Dylan1989 · Answer

No, it does not mean he's not interested. He may have not kissed you for a number of reason. Maybe he was nervous/shy. Maybe he wanted to take things slow. Maybe he didn't want to kiss you on the first date incase that sent out the wrong message (that he was moving too fast and only wanted on thing). Don't sweat it.

Dionysos · Answer

No link at all. I don't think I've kissed more than one woman on the first date, but I'm officially in the middle aged club so I might be so far out of date it doesn't matter. You young whippersnappers :-D seem to be looking for your underwear the next morning before you decide if the person likes you.

That's kinda cool. xD

perkynipples · Answer

hes been out of the game for 10 years, he's taking things slowly and is probably a little afraid. make it a point to tell him you really enjoyed the date. if he missed the sign for a kiss, he may miss the sign that you want to continue dating.

Someone1 · Answer

First date really? c'mon...that's a bit too fast. It took me actually 2 months of dating with this girl before I even gave her our first kiss and it was to make sure she was worth to keep..

TheUglyOne · Answer

Probably because too many women complain about guys moving too fast, so he's going slow.

7gnat · Answer

I usually wait a few dates (like 4 years or so) before I lay a good one on her.

sisterray · Answer

I'm never waiting after the first date to kiss a girl anymore. I've been cut off from for not kissing a girl on the first date and it killed me.

AndyWes · Answer

No, it does not mean he's not interested. It means he wasn't feeling it.

LoveIsChaos · Answer

No, it means he's not sure if he should kiss you on a first date...

Shooter-McGavin · Answer

He doesn't want to be labeled a "creeper" Girls throw that sh*t around a little too much.

jayzee · Answer

No. That means he don't want to rush through stuffs :)

tigermax22 · Answer

I'd say he's just taking it slow.

Brando · Answer

No, you're looking too much into it.

Anonymous · Answer

He doesn't want a sexual harassment suit

Anonymous · Answer

I like to go steady before I start locking lips.

If a guy doesn't kiss you on your first date, does that mean he's not interested?

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