I HATE my boyfriends taste in music

[Shaddywags]

He likes those rap songs that are disrespectful and demean women. Like completely negative ghetto songs that tell you to do drugs and have sex with lots of women. I hate it. I absolutely hate it so much and he loves that music and he lives watching these stupid music videos that are of girls half naked I don't get what society has become or how anyone can sing along to these songs. The media makes all of this seem like its OK when its not and usually the people that listen to this kind of music are the ones who cheat on their boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't know what to do, he knows I hate that kind of music but it doesn't stop him from listening to it. What do I do? I don't wanna be with a MAN who listens to that music as if its sending a positive message or inspiring anyone. Its trash. Help..

Updates

+1 y

it just bothers me because I love him so much and I know he loves me but I grew up listening to good music that inspire people and something you can relate to and say wow that is touching. not music that's saying "shake your as* and pop a molly and have sex with me and all my friends and shoot nigg*s" like wtf type of person listens to that and says wow that was a great song. what do people see in these songs? is it because they wanna live like these rappers?

[Anonymous]

I don't choose rap as my first choice in music. You should research what you don't like. It sounds like you could be more open to what he listens to, at least enough to leave the room or house when he does. I have noticed that him playing his favorite rappers means less of "I want to live like them" and more, "this story line makes me want to get off the fluffy cloud and go deal with my issues to take better care of my quality of life." Rap is hardcore motivation music, see headbanger music genre. Nothing different there but the distinction in articulation. [I'm actually very surprised no one was able to just answer your question outright. Answers contain a thesis, detailed examples, and solutions to the issue in question. But hey, make me feel "different".]. No one listens to rap to be or sound "more black, more ghetto, more hood, etc.".

No matter what, you're taking the genre more seriously than he does and it is not going to get you closer to him by telling him to turn it off because it's "disrespecting you". Yes. It is misogynist. Yes, there are lots of symbols that are upfront about the end of days. So is other music. Would you believe me when I tell you all music, even Gospel, is laced with an undercurrent of satan's message in them? Probably not, but it is eerily true. If you want to go there with him about rap, it'd be best to stop listening to music and watching television altogether, beginning with yourself and your habits. That's the only way to win this battle, love. Winning it would then entail something waaaaaaay over both of your heads.

However, if you are not living life like the females described ( and I know females who live that way.. ..you know what I'm talking about... ) then it should be no pain or pleasure to you. This is not the battle to fight with him because you're only going to be fighting yourself... Trust me! PLEASE! This is not the one to fight. Learn that when he plays his music it is an opportunity for "Me Time". If he's playing it more often than not, then more than likely means you should be filling that time up with more "you" instead of "Us". If you want to be married to him, he's showing you that you aren't going to stop him from living his life. He can be faithful to you while listening to Wiz Khalifa talk about smoking weed. If that helps him ease his mind and keep it on getting his money to build his nest egg, which should always be separate of yours and "Ours", then leave him be. I Love to dance Burlesque but it doesn't mean I'm a whore or prostitute. We have to stop judging. That feeds into alternative plans. Love your Man. Leave the trivial sh*t alone, or leave him. Either way, he's not going to change his taste in music FOR YOU. [yes, I have been married. I left because he wasn't enough for me.]

[Shaddywags]

WOW that was great advice thank you so much!

[Anonymous]

Have you ever had a deeper conversation with him about why you don't like it? Or asked him why he's okay with it? You can't force him to not like it or not listen to it, but you can encourage him to look closer at it. Talking about it in that way and listening to what he has to say might sort some things out for you.

Communication is key, but if communication doesn't end up resolving anything or helping either of you see eye-to-eye, then you might just have compatibility problems :/

[Shaddywags]

he says its a good beat but I know that's bs because it seems like every time were arguing hell send me a random text from one of his favorite rap songs that will say something reaaally disrespectful and that's a pretty big reason why I don't like that music

[Opinion Owner]

My kneejerk reaction to that was, "Oh gross," haha. I wouldn't like that at ALL, I don't blame you. That's not just about the music.

[Shaddywags]

thats what I'm sayin girl!

[katkaintkwit]

As long as he isn't disrespecting you I don't see the problem lol

[chipOnMyShoulder]

This has been an ongoing thing with me and my girlfriend. I went to the extent of never playing my music when she's in the car but she still not happy and accuses me of not trying. I honestly resent her for it. I've dont disrespected her or her kids, she doesn't drive so we're always in my car. She judges me by the music like I'm a bad person. I understand why she say she don't like it but some of her music (it's not as bad as mine) use bad words. Her best friend listens to the type of music I do but she doesn't accuse her or try to change her. When I said something about her music she quit playing certain songs. What I THINK it boils down to is her being controlling and feeling like what she and how she think it's superior cause I'm just a dumb guy. I'm not saying you should like it but be careful not to Make him resent you. We're suppose to go on a 11 hr road trip and I'm dreading having to listen to her music for a total of 22hrs. I'm thinking about asking for a compromise but it is impossible to get her to understand how I think/feel and that's a fact!

[Lucifatianu]

There's not much you can do. Just make it known to him that you don't want to hear that music, and if he respects you, he won't play it while you're around. If you try controlling him, you'll probably end up pushing him away.

I grew up listening to NWA and I've never disrespected a female, even though some did deserve it. If he has a mind of his own, the music won't change the way he treats you, if it does, then he's an idiot.

[Shaddywags]

but does he listen to that music because he strives to be like those rappers? because theyre not sending any positive messages to their listeners its all junk that tells you to do bad things. its corrupting peoples minds. maybe I'm over thinking this ? -_-

[Lucifatianu]

You're probably just discomforted by it because you're not used to that kind of music. He probably listens to it because it's the kind of music he grew up listening to. Don't make a big deal out of music, I enjoy listening to Brittany Spears but it doesn't make me want to walk around in a short skirt. Music has influence, but only to people who don't have a mind of their own.

[Shaddywags]

this is very true! thanks a lot!

[jj1990]

I don't like that type of music either. If he doesn't act on what he listens to, then this is just something that you will have to accept. I think it is an immature/ immoral taste. For me, I am very cautious of girls that listen to this type of music... usually party going immature you know whats.I Iike stuff like stone temple pilots/ tool/ pink floyd/ smashing pumpkins

[Shaddywags]

thats the kind of music I like too! I'm trying to switch him over to REAL music.

[jj1990]

Music helps define who we are. If that is the kind of music he is into, he's not going to change it anytime soon. He might find that he likes our kind of music as well, though. Who knows.

[Alonso14]

People are entitled to listen to whatever music they like. If it bothers you that much leave him and find someone who likes whatever music you deem to be acceptable. Its incredibly controlling behavior to try and change his taste in something that may be very important to him.

[Premonition]

I used to listen to Hip-Hop like A Tribe Called Quest, Busta Rhymes, Lupe Fiasco, The Pharcyde.

But I stopped listen to them, an new rap in general, I jam to K-pop= Korean Pop musican Video Game an Anime music.

Ask your man to compromise with you. if he Loves you he'll try a little compromise. that's what it mean toShow Love & Respect in a relationship.

[Shaddywags]

thanks and hey there's nothing wrong with rap I'm not saying all rap is bad some are actually inspiring and witty and get you going. but not the type that's constantly sending negative messages to people. I've tried showing him the music I like but he always goes back to the music that I hate.

[Premonition]

well as long as he isn't living out that mentality, you should be fine.

[palek]

You just need to ask yourself if you care to spend your life with a man who secretly longs to be an misogynistic, atonal, inner-city pothead. Bet you can't wait to see life unfold.

[palek]

Can you say "Back that thang up!?"

[Selenator]

That sucks :(. I dont like rap at all, i have only a very very few rap songs i even like. I have always had a weird style, i like pop/dubstep. My favorite singers are Selena Gomez, Aly and AJ, Skrillex, Nero, Ellie Goulding, Emily Osment... etc. Maybe you could ask him why he likes that stuff and that you dont care for it, but i doubt you will be able to change his taste

[Premonition]

Different taste in music isn't that bad. everyone is entitled to their musical taste. As long as he isn't cheating on you or being disrespectful, I really don't think there is a problem.

[BlazingFire88]

As much as I hate that type of music as well, you really can't do anything about it, it's his music and he enjoys listening to it. If you really can't stand it the best thing you can do is just leave him.

[Shaddywags]

but can you really leave someone over their taste in music? is that rediculous? I love him a lot and I know he loves me..

[BlazingFire88]

Well you seem to have an intense hatred for his music and lifestyle, I was just throwing a solution out there.

[Shaddywags]

no you were and I thank you for your input but he'd think I was looney if he asked why we were breaking up and I said "well, I hate your taste in music" lol but hey maybe I am looney that's why I'm stuck in this situation haha

[Anonymous]

Then don't listen to it. It might not be your taste in music, but he listens to it for his own reasons. You aren't his mother and not even his mother can control what music he listens to. You can have differences with your partner but if you can't respect them, then they're either major issues (to you or in general) or you have a control issue.

[Shaddywags]

hey buddy I'm not trying to control his life if that were the case id blind fold him wherever he goes I'm just seeing what other people think about how I feel that's all..

[Opinion Owner]

Well it just seems like you have an opinion on his music (which is fine, we all do that)...but you seem to be a little more militant and much less uncaring than most people would be about other people's stuff, even their partner's.