Has she become complacent?

[Randomguy4558]

Lets start from the beginning. I feel my girlfriend has become complacent. Now keep in mind my girl is older than me. I'm 24, she is 42. Most people call me crazy for being with her. She is a great girl, beautiful, hot, sexy. Now I'm an assertive guy, aggressive when it's called for. I'm 6" 260 solid large build. Bald with goatee. Very physical job, so I'm in good shape. Things are good but I feel like she has become complacent. She doesn't keep me on my toes anymore. Like if we go out, I like to dress well for her. She stopped doing that for me. We are both very sexual people. Sex is great, but has slowed down a lot. I want her all the time, I tell her this. I tell her how I want her, what I want to do to her. I focus on her(which most giys should do if they had a brain). I'm an action going guy. I always keep things new, I still feel like me and her are new. I still get that butterfly flapping in my stomach! She doesn't do a lot of the things she use to do, that is my point. So is it my imagination or has she become complacent? I find it very frustrating, to the point to where I'm second guessing myself. I don't like that! What is your opinion?

[HandsomeRaj]

1, This is the 1st time I've come across where the man is complaining about the woman losing interest (not that it doesn't happen but scarce in comparision to being the other way round)

2. Understood natural fact that in the beginning all relationships are about fire and spunk and as time passes at least one of them begins lagging behind and in this case it's your gf

3. We also must understand that she is a lady who now is 40+ and with women things change both psychologically as well as physiologically from time to time. She may well be heading for menopause or something psychologically is bothering her

4. Or is it that you are a lot more pepped up than you were earlier thus finding her complacent, If she doesn't keep you on your toes with demands doesn't mean she doesn't care anymore. She probably has matured to a time when she feels secure with you. most time the 'demanding' nature pops up from insecurity which is why a woman keeps a man on 'his toes' once that security level is achieved or the concerend person has given up what comes up is what you term as 'complacency'

5. I'd recommend you try having a conversation with her, open her up and check if it's something bothering her which again could lead to what we see as complacency. That doesn't mean that you sit across the table and start up an FAQ. It just means that be considerate, understanding etc and talk to her over a period of time thus getting her to realize and thus introspect which is when she will be able to identify the situation and probably even open your eyes to certain things where you contributed to her being so today :)

6. Realization of situations and acting on them is something that keeps anything going, relationship or individual. In a relationship it's very important to talk and open up to keep it alive cause everything changes from time to time and only that changes / evolves survives. People often shut down when they think they've tried too much and the other person 'doesn't understand' THIS is when they need to be opened up.

Good luck :) you got a great woman there and everything good and great needs to be nurtured, soil turned etc :)

[Darkfairie17]

It does sound like now that she has you, she has become complacent. I would try talking to her again about what you want her to do and why it is important.

Like the major big ticket items we own (car, house) we must maintain what we have. Relationships are the same. We have to maintain our relationships by keeping up doing things that make our partners happy.

That being said, I think it's okay to become a little complacent. But if she won't dress up at all or have sex with you hardly ever. then yes, that needs to change.

Talk to her about why you feel it is important. Communication is always key. Tell her that she doesn't keep you on your toes anymore.

A lot of relationships break down because the one partner stops doing what they did to attract the other. In some situations it can be really bad, because they go from doing everything to nothing almost instantaneously.

So talk to her. Find out what's going on with her and hopefully she starts doing more things to keep you on your toes!

[Anonymous]

How long have you been together? You do know that the 'fireworks' at the beginning of a relationship don't last forever, right? After awhile things to tend to slow down as you become more comfortable around each other and used to each other. It is important to keep appreciating each other and finding ways to express your love. She may just feel this is the natural progression of the relationship, whereas you feel neglected in the relationship. Have you actually verbalised your feelings and conerns to her? None of us are mind readers and she may not even realize there is a problem that needs to be worked out. I think it's also important that you keep in mind the age difference. What people want changes as we age, and her energy level just isn't going to be where yours is, she is almost 20 years your senior. So when you would maybe rather do something fun and exciting, she'd rather have a quiet dinner at home and get a good nights rest before work. Bottom line, express your concerns to her and go from there.

[Randomguy4558]

I get all your saying, I'm not your average 24 year old. I'm way too mature for my own age. I come from a harsh background. I know what your saying. Had I been a typical guy, I wouldn't have never had a chance with her. I've been with her for coming on 2 years now.

[Anonymous]

just talk to her about it

[Anonymous]

well just try and fix it, talk to her.

[Anonymous]

Sadly she has.

[Anonymous]

sounds like it

[Anonymous]

it's possible

[Anonymous]

yes, I think she has

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it