What if she has a boyfriend?

[foxsquirrel]

If you have a suspicion that she might be into you but she has a boyfriend, what would you do?

I mean will you show her interest or is it best to avoid her altogether. Whatever you answer say why.

[fmfan08]

I'm confused with my situation, as I made a mistake that must have annoyed her as this girl has been acting off with me, but I've been slowly making small talk and asking questions that show my interest such as how her exams went and then complimenting her intelligence. That gave me a reply of "Haha:)" which at least is okay..

But the problem I have that confuses me is that she uploaded a picture on Instagram/twitter of her smilling exaggeratedly next to a guy she's pally/mates with and tagged it as "Me and my boyfriend @histwittername <3",

I asked if she does have a boyfriend and she said "No I don't", there's nothing at all on her/his or her friends social media to suggest they are in a except that uploaded picture/tweet.. So I have to carry on talking/flirting with her wondering if the picture was a joke or not.

[Anonymous]

Avoid her altogether.

I have been in that situation.

Just a natural instinct.

[foxsquirrel]

What, is the natural instinct?!

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, sorry about the confusion :) Natural instinct to avoid her altogether. It was a very beautiful girl in my college that started to send me lots of signals; I started to think she had feelings for me (I tested it twice with positive results) and thus took the initiative to talk to her; her face lit up the moment I spoke to her - it was an awesome feeling for me (my first approach ever); then the next day I caught wind of her having a boyfriend, and thus I never spoke to her again.

[foxsquirrel]

Oh, I see. Well I'm sorry. She might have been fed up with her boyfriend and took an interest in you and would eventually terminate the relationship. But how are these things, right? So confusing. It's only if this and if that but nothing solid to hold on to.

[Opinion Owner]

My viewpoint is that if a girl has issues with her boyfriend then she needs to talk it through with him; and if need be end it with him. So if a girl is in a relationship and yet has feelings for another guy; then who's to say that the new guy wouldn't get the same treatment? Being cheated on ...I had no interest in having this girl cheating on her boyfriend, since she could do that to me if we were to end up together. If she had ended her relationship with her boyfriend before sending me her...

[Opinion Owner]

signals then that would have been a whole different matter - and I could be in a relationship with a very good looking girl; before I knew she had a boyfriend I could totally see me and her together. But she completely screwed that up; I don't mess around with another guys girlfriend. No matter what she looks like and no matter what her personality is like

[foxsquirrel]

Me too eh. I never actually made any advances on this girl and nor on anybody else especially if they have a boyfriend. I don't want to deal with men regarding these nasty issues.

[RositaV]

If I'm the girl in a relationship, and this guy thinks I'm throwing hints at him, I would prefer that he doesn't make a move.

If he makes a move, and I really wasn't into him, it would become an awkward friendship, to the point, it would have to end as to not affect my current relationship.

If he makes a move, and I really was into him, it would initiate reciprocal attraction, and begin the advancement out of the platonic friend zone into danger zone.

[foxsquirrel]

hahaha @ into danger zone. That's a good one. hehe. The problem in these matters is the ambiguity of the term reciprocal attraction as in how would you differeniate between reciprocal attraction or simple friendliness. It could be quiet tricky. The best thing for me I think is to let it go. But I think I'm gonna remember her for the rest of my life :((((

[RositaV]

Best thing is definitely to let her go. However, to answer the friendliness vs. reciprocal is basically "she smiles at you vs. She smiles at you and touches your arm"

[foxsquirrel]

Well, she did that once when we had the opportunity of talking in a classroom alone. It was so particular because she reached with her finger and touched me so deliberately on my arm whilst saying something. It was like I want to touch you cause I can't stand just being only around you. but that was something like 9 months ago.

[RositaV]

hum.. yea. Stay away. You don't want to get caught up in drama.

[foxsquirrel]

I think you're right.

[TimTomTank]

I think it's best to avoid it all together if she has a boyfriend. Find out first to begin. You don't want to start something with someone who already has a relationship with someone else. It will turn out to be a big potato salad and someone will get hurt. Plus, if she ever did leave him for you, would you be able to ever trust her as your girlfriend knowing she did that to someone else?

[foxsquirrel]

Yes that's true I though about that. Plus that she went through a separation and dragged her ex husband in hell. By the way, she does have a boyfriend. Long term. Three years already. Another thing that worries me regarding her boyfriend is that he is so unlike me. Tatto on arm and chest mafia like face. Very nasty indeed in my opinion. I am more like a child you can see for your self. I mean like a nice guy. Sure as hell not the bad boy kind for sure. So I really must not be her taste.

[foxsquirrel]

You know what I think, I think perhaps she wants me because perhaps she likes how I look and wants her kids to look like me hehe. I don't know. And plus perhaps she thinks that she could control me better. Not the rebellious kind. What do you think?

[TimTomTank]

Well, it's your decision, but be careful!

I just personally have observed that girls that like 'bad boys' get bored with the good guys. They need constant excitement and like drama. If you're into that, then go right ahead. I would just hate to see you get heartbroken for messing around with a girl that is no good.

Plus, if her Boyfriend is in the mafia, that is nothing to mess with. If he found out that she cheated on him, both of you wold be in big trouble. Plus, they go for family first. No joke.

[foxsquirrel]

Both her current boyfriend and her ex look quite bad and gangster like. Both have tattoos and her ex does sniffs coke by her own words. I have been warned actually by another coworker to be afraid of this girl. He told me right in front of her face. What do you mean about mafia people going for family first? (He is from Sicily by the way, her current boyfriend OMG) But once she said that she has absolute power over him as in if he does not like her rules he can get out. He lives with her.

[TimTomTank]

If he ex does coke, I wouldn't be surprised if she has done it or if she still does. If another coworker is telling you this, it is evident that there may be some underlying facts you are not aware of yet.

And what I mean about the Mafia is that if you screw them in any way, depending on how highly ranked that person is, they can whipe out your entire family before they get you. It's not something you want to involve yourself in.

[foxsquirrel]

Ah I see, I understand now what you meant they go for the family first. But do you think they would do such a thing if a guy once tried to show interest for another girl?

Regarding that coke thing, I don't know if she would do that. you know what though she is a smoker and she told me that she is also a heavy drinker and I found it hard to believe because she does not look like some dyke at all. She is very female looking. By the way I think she lies a lot. I heard her lie myself.

[TimTomTank]

I don't think anything serious would happen if you just tried to talk to her, but if it got somewhere and he found out, then yes, I do think they would do something. Depends on the mentality of the person, some people are loose cannons. If she drinks and smokes, drugs are not too far behind. Plus, if she's a liar and if she comes on to others while in a relationship, it clearly shows what morals she has. In my opinion, you're clearly just too good for her.

[foxsquirrel]

I think you're right. That is why she likes me perhaps because she thinks she could play with me easily. Well thanks for your advice I enjoyed the conversation, you're clear in your answers and they make sense :)

[TimTomTank]

Anytime, my friend! Good luck with everything! : )

[foxsquirrel]

Thanks. Goodluck to you as well. :)

[ARCTICMS]

I prefer guys tell me frankly and make my own choice.

Although sometimes it is annoying, it still worth a shot.Good luck!

[foxsquirrel]

As much as I do have feelings for her I think that it is a very complicated situation because not only she has a long term boyfriend but she also has a son from her previous marriage and therefore her ex is still in the picture (the boy is only 7 years old). Further more of equal magnitude, I haven't found a steady job yet, I'm only working on a definite contract which puts into question what the f*** I'm going to do if I end up without a job. Poor me what a situation.

[ARCTICMS]

It is complicated.Even if she like you back, you have to deal with her exbf,exhusband,son and your own career.In this situation I doubt you can give her a happy life. If she can't better off being with you,maybe the best way is keep your little secret and be there for her as a friend.

[foxsquirrel]

I think it isn't a secret. She knows I was very taken by her. She must have realized that I think because I used to get quite different around her and stuff.

[AmongTheApples]

You shouldn't avoid her per se, but you shouldn't be around her either. If you have her as a Facebook friend and something good happens, then congratulate her. But otherwise, stay away. If she likes you and they break up, then she will get a hold of you. Trust me.

[foxsquirrel]

Well she does not seem like she is about to break up. She posted a new profile pic with him. She looked quite happy holding each other. No, that is the last thing I want to do, add her as a friend. It's best if I avoid her as much as I can and besides I'm to be transferred or become redundant three weeks from now, so.

[AmongTheApples]

Well, I was speaking in general terms. But, having now read some of your replies to others, I'd suggest you move on. She may like you but believe, in her mind, that she's unworthy of you, which is usually the cause of pretty girls dating scummy guys, or she knows that you like her and she just likes the attention that you're giving her. Either way it all ends the same for you.

[foxsquirrel]

Interesting analyses!

[mikewnaz]

If she dates you when she has a boyfriend I would run...why date a woman who cheats? Doesnt seem high class to me or a woman worth anything long term.

tell her to leave her boyfriend . Then you'll date her.

If she wont. Drop her like a fly or just tell her that you'll bang her anytime she brings you a six pack of you're favorite beer.

Only give her respect if she is respectful to you and her boyfriend bu letting him go.

[Jordahn]

I've had a couple situations where they had a boyfriend and they weren't acting the way they were s'posed to toward me, so when they started acting too "friendly" I said "since you have a boyfriend, you can introduce me to your cute female friends." She'll either be cool with it and introduce you to her friends, but more likely, she'll get jealous and decide she'll have to choose.

[madhatters4]

i'd try to find out. I don't really like dealing in grey areas so if they seem to be playing games I'm not really interested in playing along.

I'd either ask her in some way what's up or just avoid it

[AdamThomas]

If she has a boyfriend I don't do anything. Why would you want a girl who is willing to go behind her boyfriend's back? IAlso how would you feel toward a guy who tried to steal your girl when he knows all about you? It's just a ****ish thing to do.

[xjesspandax]

I found the love of my life by leaving my ex. Not something I'm proud of but I think you'd be insane to stay with a guy you've never had anything special with.

[foxsquirrel]

A different view. From all these answers it seems that all is possible but to not mess with her was more popular. And I'll think that I'll go along with that even more since she already bit me once quite badly and I would like to deny her any more possibilities to bite me again. The next time she might shred me to bits :( No no, better get the hell away. :(

[darkfoxjj]

You'd be insane to have a relationship with a guy who you've never had anything special with.

Seems like you should have left your ex before you found 'the love of your life'. Also didn't you say 'your the love of my life' to every boyfriend you've ever had.

Yea, I'm bitter, because my ex left me for someone.

[xjesspandax]

No darkfoxjj, we all have that relationship that you "Settle" for when you just want a boyfriend. And no, I'm engaged to "the love of my life" so pretty sure I don't say that about everyone. Don't be bitter about it because there's two people in a relationship so in a way both to blame.

Glad you are letting her go, if she's burnt you once really badly, no point taking the risk.. She doesn't sound like good girlfriend material...

[foxsquirrel]

I think I'll take the advice as well. If she burnt you once don't risk the second time. The girl I am talking about already burnt one man to ashes - her ex. so she really has the guts and the ability to get cold as ice when and with who she feels like.

[Cromartie]

I would act normally and would not mind. If I already believe she is unavailable then that "friend zones" ( or whatever the kids are using these days ) her indefinitely. Life goes on.

[blazethetrail]

If she's in a relationship, then she's either happy with him, or if she's not happy, then she's not ready to leave him yet. So, unless she makes the first move, she's off limits.

[OldboyJon]

look at her sideways and read her she could be unhappy in her relationship but be one of those girls who scared to leave

[kangaru]

Best to ask her first. If she is attached ..then have to let go

[foxsquirrel]

Ask her what?

[kangaru]

Whether she is attached

[foxsquirrel]

To who?

[Anonymous]

all bad. even if she leaves him for you, what do you think she will do to you when she meets a new guy she's into?

[mike5150]

Maybe say something like hey do you have a boyfriend

[maiez]

I would just tell her anyways, it would make her happy most of the time.

[Bornnardmt]

I would cut off contact with a woman who had a boyfriend even if she liked me. That is a recipe for disaster.

[foxsquirrel]

lol, I think you're right.

[Stalemate]

pursue it I have been told by women that, they go where they are happy

[danix]

Whether she was attached or not, I'd still hit it.