Why do women want to wait till their 30 to settle down?

[Anonymous]

shouldn't your husband get your best years that your giving to other men? At least it would seem that's how it should be

[Prof_Don]

People learn what they want in a partner through the dating process.

I will admit when I was 19, 21, & 25, what I THOUGHT I wanted in a female partner, I honestly realize I didn't want overall. Not just self-realization, but because I changed with a person over time as I age.

Same for other people.

Don't see it as "giving the best years to men that don't matter"; guys and girls alike are either dating to find out what they want, or are dating to find "the one" but happen to fail their first few iterations.

This love thing is so much trial and error more than anything else.

[Anonymous]

Because when they are in their 20s they are not wise enough to see the mistake they are making.

link

[Asker]

this is why systems have been put in place for centuries to protect women from themselves.

[Jade4]

I find your assumption that past 30 you've past your prime pretty offensive or that women choose not to settle down before 30. I was in an 8 year relationship which fell apart because by boyfriend proposed and took it back because HE wasn't ready. This was mind you in my 20's. I actually feel my best years are now, I'm still living my life but I'm old enough to have a better perspective on my life, life in general and relationships. My friends haven't settled down because the guys haven't been ready to as well

[Asker]

lol you were with a guy for 8 years because you choose that don't blame him for your mistakes. don't you think you should have left him after I don't know 8 months if you saw its going nowhere?

[Jade4]

I'm not blaming him, it wasn't going nowhere, we moved in, got engaged and he did the right thing by not going through with it because he was t ready. My point was that he wasn't ready, not me. You can't blame a complex social interaction on one party, ie the woman. In my experience it doesn't matter whether the guys or the girls in any era of society are ready, both have to be so. Youve clearly missed the point of the example.

[Ashley34]

I'm not waiting till a certain age but I would rather be older than younger. You have the rest of your life to be with this person. I want to travel the world hang out wtih my girlfriends try new things and just be independent without having to worry about a signifcant other

[pickledxtofu]

Most men want to settle down later in life, so why should women put their lives on hold for men who aren't going to do the same?

Also, the average person in America isn't financially stable in their 20's. So bringing marriage into the equation is asking for a divorce.

[Prof_Don]

Very true, the most common cause of stres/strain in a marriage is money problems!

[MaskofInsanity]

I get my best years, and the crap ones too. I choose to share them with other people. My 20s are for me to do as much exploring, experiencing and just enjoying myself. A husband would mean I have to consider him in those plans, and I'd rather be able to be selfish.

[Asker]

makes sense, but the way you speak you realize you are going to be offering your husband used goods.

[MaskofInsanity]

lol well realistically I'll end up with someone with a like mind so he won't consider me "used up"

[Asker]

or you won't end up with anybody at all. look into the statistics. they scare me too

[RedThread]

I don't think she'd have a problem finding someone if she really wanted it.

[MaskofInsanity]

What statistics?

And cheers RedThread (: I like to think I'm rather charming.

[Asker]

youre an adult you're free to look them up

[MaskofInsanity]

I was questioning what the statistics pertained to, not their validity or source. Jeesh.

[Asker]

they pertain to you being foolish and wrong

[MaskofInsanity]

Good thing I have no trouble dating :)

[RedThread]

lol just ignore him :P

[MaskofInsanity]

I knowwwwww. Sigh.

[Asker]

i lol

[Prof_Don]

I fully understand the feeling of wanting to be able to have to freedom to do what you want without the burden of a marriage...better than getting married too early and feeling "smothered". :-D

[MaskofInsanity]

In all honesty marriage just isn't a priority for me. I've had great relationships that I value, but at the same time there are always things I want more.

[Anonymous]

I am in my 20s and don't see myself settling down until at least 30 at the earliest. Why should I when I am not done exploring, living my life, becoming established, and developing as a person? It's not 1925 where I need to get married right after high school to ensure my virginity or some shit. Most people want to date around so they can learn about themselves and know what they really want. You have your whole life to be someone's wife, why get tied down now?

[Asker]

because you most likely won't have an opprotunity later. the most likely time a women will be in a relationship is in her 20s, the most unlikely time a man will be in a relationship is in his 20s. you see the problem here?

[Asker]

also you never stop growing as a person so this whole I need to find myself thing is kind of nonsense

[Opinion Owner]

Where do you get this from? Most people get married in their 30s. Meaning both the husband and the wife are in their 30s when they marry.

Yes, I am going to find myself before I get married. That is my choice. I do not want to be tied down at this age when I could be doing my thing and doing what I want. I can have my pick of men until I choose to settle down.

[Asker]

thats not true most people do not get married in there thirties, in fact the likely hood of a women marrying in her thirties is very low if you actually look at the numbers

[Prettygurl12]

Why do men get to wait until THEIR 30's to settle down and get mature at the normal human rate yet women are not allowed the same freedom? Ask yourself that question next time.

[Asker]

easy because the things women value in men come with age, the things men value in women, they are born with. next question

[Prof_Don]

QA sounds like one of those bitter guys that consistently fails at women and wants to vent, doesn't he?

[sweetone]

I don't know what women you're talking to but I personally am not planning to wait for any particular age. I am waiting for the right man.

[Asker]

statistically after 5 men if you haven't found him, you're not going to

[sweetone]

Guess the odds are in my favor. I'm on the third one and they say thirds a charm.

[Asker]

cheers

[Prof_Don]

I feel many females feel this way; it's mainly the bitter guys that have the "girls are giving their most attractive years to assholes" mentality.

[Anonymous]

That's not true for all. I'm 19, and I want to get married within the next 3 years. I just don't have the means to now.

I agree with you though, I want to give my husband the best years of my life and experience everything with him, and not random guys.

[bellabionda]

Are these women in their 20's married? Believe me, the best years are yet to come. Wait Till they hit their 30's. The best years are yet to come, and you have many many if them ahead.

[Asker]

no a womens best years are from 16-23. sure you grow as a person but what does that have to do with marriage

[Jade4]

Wow, you are so wrong. Ladies I recommend you ignore this post until this guy grows up

[Prof_Don]

Sad that this guy thinks that women are only attractive until age 23! :-/

[Asker]

i didn't say women are only attractive until twenty three thanks for putting words in my mouth.

[lumos]

Shouldn't the woman herself get the best years of her own life? Meaning, shouldn't she spend them as she pleases?

[Asker]

sure she should but then it would be ridiculous to want marriage from a man later on.

[lumos]

Why would it? If anything, I think men are much more stubborn in terms of settling down, especially young men. They want to be young and free, they want to bang everything and everyone without any kind of commitment. In fact, I think commitment scares a lot of guys nowadays.

[Asker]

well past a certain age yes say 22-23 yes men start to look at marriage with a sidways stare, why is this though? because mens brains are becoming fully formed. men in their younger years are willing to marry however the girls are all sleeping with the same handful of guys. this is just a fact backed up by genetics. so when women come around to the idea of marriage mens brains are fully formed and wonder what's in it for them, the answer, nothing she hasn't given other men, and this is not good

[Asker]

for several reasons, studies show that people with male levels of testosterone will turn down a deal that benefits themselves if the deal benefits the other more greatly, and marriage was invented for women. marriage is for women always has and always will be.

[lumos]

"Marriage is for women, always has"? Lol are you kidding me. Marriage used to be about men just picking out a woman they liked and then owning her like she was his property through marriage. She had no right to object. Do you know how many women who've been forced to marry a man because of their culture? Ever heard of arranged marriages? Or how about this, a 40-something year old man marrying a 8 year old girl. link

So please. Don't.

[Asker]

yes marriage is for women, becuse women have children and need men to raise them. today we have welfare which is the largest expenditure by the government and it will ultimately collapse the system because women are not getting married and having society pay for their families now. I think you need a heavy dose of reality and you need to re read the literature without your feminist goggles on

[lumos]

Did you even read anything of what I said haha. I think you need a slice of reality, by realizing that in some parts of the world, marriage GREATLY benefits the man, especially sexually. Arranged marriages, hellooo. Why else would a 40 year old marry a child?! So please, just admit that marriages partly does benefit men, especially in some parts of the world, and I'll be content.

[Asker]

yes marriages benefit men in that men used to get women when she was her most valuable sexually and get the benefit of children and a mans wealth would take care of her and her children. today we have welfare which is crippling the country

[harveykinkle]

If a woman's on welfare because she "didn't get married" wouldn't it be the fault of the douche man who left her?

[Sapphire1995JE]

I haven't got a certain age in mind to settle down for me its when I meet the right guy and you can't see yourself with anyone else...honestly if someones telling you they're not ready to settle down they're fobbing you off!

[pooper89]

Some do and some don't. I'd rather be 30 to settle down to be honest. I'll get married tomorrow if I found the right guy. I'd have a child for him the day after that if we both wanted it. But settle down? I'm too young for that haha

[Prof_Don]

It depends on how you want to define "settling down" :-P

[Anonymous]

Why is a woman after her 30's past her best years? I feel bad for whoever you end up with

[Asker]

all I have to say to you is lol

[louiseee]

I don't. I want to get engaged NOW, and married in two years at 23.

[laramills23]

im 20 and di wanna settle now so that question isn't valid for most

[Anonymous]

Not all women do? I think most women are married by their 30's. I'm not waiting for a certain age, I'm waiting until I'm financially stable, I already found the right man and I'm 19.

[NikkiBabes]

I was settled down and engaged and I am just 23 found the love of my life had a lovely family, Happiness never lasts, He left and broke my heart now I will never want to settle down to soon again!

[Anonymous]

Men are the same way. Shouldn't you be investing all that time chasing women you could never get into one woman?

[Asker]

i lol at you

[Opinion Owner]

Lol you know I'm right. You've never been laid and you're taking that out on women.

[Prof_Don]

very true, Ms. Anonym; this dude is just venting his sexual frustrations.

[Opinion Owner]

Yep, girls like banging hot jerks and he's a bitter virgin.

[Asker]

lol a virgin

[kangaru]

there's no hurry