Guys, do some of you just "live in the moment"?

[Anonymous]

I have heard that some men "live in the moment" they think about how happy they are in the moment and not always think about the future in terms of dating.

Im not saying this IS the case, I'm asking if it is.

If this is true it makes sense why a lot of guys ( and girls too) will act head over heels for a girl one day, give her flowers, plan for the future etc.

Then the very next day break up with her. Because they were happy in the moment.

true?

[aMuse]

I don't fantasize about my future life with any particular girl and plan it all out ahead of time, so in that context I live in the moment and take the relationship as it comes. I do however constantly analyze her behavior and words to determine if she is worth committing to or staying with. I consider all her past actions, her current behavior, and possible potential that is still undiscovered, so in that light I definitely don't live in the moment. You are weighed on everything you've ever been to me and what I still see in you. If your negative behavior weighs too heavily in the start you get dropped. If you've earned respect, trust, and loyalty over time, then you have some leeway and a few minor slip ups won't land you under the guillotine.

To answer your last question, I'd speculate that when he's treating you really well, giving you gifts, and all that stuff you start to take him for granted and overstep your bounds. You do or say something that is really uncalled for even if you don't know it and it puts him off. I know I can turn on a dime and freeze out a girl who really messed up or slipped up in a really crucial area. I'm sure other guys are do the same thing. Don't take them for granted and return the same level of interest, kindness, and charity back to them and they likely won't drop you so hard and quickly.

[aMuse]

Some girls take kindness for weakness and think they have him wrapped around their little finger. That's such a huge mistake and is such a common downfall that will get your dumpstered.

[cavmanier]

It could happen. I live in the moment but I think about the future as well.

[Paris13]

It's called "cold feet", and many guys and yes, girls too, for that matter, get it. Maybe "at the moment" everything is hunky dory in their relationship that they are "living in for the moment", but suddenly out of nowhere, like a bullet in the night, they will shoot down someone's heart and have a change of their OWN HEART because they get scared of long term commitments and the whole strings attached thing. My motto in life is :"Nothing is sure but death and taxes." There are many guys and girls today who are very unpredictable, sporadic and emotionally unstable when it comes to being "hooked at the hip," to sort of speak. They get the sweats.

[kangy]

i guess not everybody really live by the focus in the moment
some guys are just fickle minded...

[Theguyoverthere]

I do. I honestly avoid a lot of girls who think way too far ahead because they insist that things be their way on everything and they naturally expect a partner to follow them no matter where they go almost. My last Girlfriend really thinks that she will be at certain places and times in X amount of years when the reality is she may not even have a job for example with the economy the way it is.

Like one girl I was gonna try and meet from match.com told me she was looking for a partner to move in with and this was like the 2nd phone call and he never even met! It's way too soon to be talking about that stuff. Totally never met her. She had issues anyway.

[DevilishCharmer]

People change. Their minds change. Their hearts change. It's perfectly normal, we're human. I like the way John Mayer said it in a song about life, love and understanding that it's ok to make mistakes. "Give your heart and change your mind, you're allowed to do it. Cos God knows it's been done to you, and somehow you got through it"

[Samuel335]

I prefer to live in the moment and enjoy the moment without thinking too far ahead. Why mess up a really good thing if it's working? Some guys live in the moment, others take a proactive approach when making plans or engagements.

[Klaatu51]

i ALWAYS live in the moment