Relationships

Don't Call Me Back

As I sit here, spontaneously typing this Take, I'm thinking about the guy I went on a date with Sunday. He was really cool. Well, that's too generic. He was sweet. He was very tangible. He was interested in me. We thought it was funny that we drove the same make & model car. He let me show him my modeling portfolio on my USB on his laptop in the park, in which I transferred some photos to his desktop. We went to the lake, then to the cliff overlooking Manhattan. He was talking about getting a Husky, but that pets weren't allowed in the barracks, so he said he needed a roommate, & then said, "you could be" in a half-kidding manner. He said I was cute, which was flattering to hear instead of "hot" or "sexy." But I think he genuinely meant it unlike those other things. He said a lot of things that I liked, but there's one thing I liked the idea of but wish he didn't say:




I'll text you when I'm out of the field on Wednesday."



On the side note, he's in the Army, which requires going to the field for a number of days. We were hanging out the night before he had to go. He's supposed to be back today. It occurred to me that he would be. But I hate the fact that he said he'd call. Ok, call, text, same incentive.


Reason being why I wish he never said he'd call me, is that it hurts more to be told that I'd be called, & then not be, than to not hear it, not expect it, move on with my life. I learned this when I was 19, when I had my first hookup at a party. He said I was amazing & girlfriend material. Yet in the morning, I had to leave early. He was still sleeping, so I wrote my number on his arm & left. Despite his insinuations, he never called me back.


This series of going on dates & not being called back is what I've grown accustomed to, because it's emotionally easier to not expect to be wanted beyond a night, because most times that expectation fails. After all, there's another fun night around the corner, & always will be. I guess what sucks is that one who comes off as genuine & then says he'd call, because he's the type I actually want calling me back.


I guess I'll just wait & see if he calls me back.


If he doesn't, I'll run for the hills to another date, another night or hookup, before my emotions catch up to me. And it'll be another reinforced dogma.



Don't Call Me Back


Don't Call Me Back
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