Why men are naturally polygamous or "cheaters"

[apexalpha]

Humans rather than men only are naturally polygamous. Polyandry a marriage of one woman to many men is very rare, but polygyny the marriage of one man to many women is widely practiced in human societies. The obvious reasons being most cultures are patriarchal and in biological sense men have millions of sperm and women one womb.

Truth be said most men even when with a women regardless of the relationship type be it marriage or friends with benefits always are on the lookout for the more biologically fertile women in order to spread their “seeds”.

It’s in escapable and the sooner women realise this there will be less headache and heartache in the long run. I’m` not saying all relationships should be open without limits but this fact of nature should be in the back of every woman’s mind.

Hence modern society’s incorporation of open marriages and the like.

“Both men and women tended to split into two groups: one made up of people who valued faithfulness, and another with people seeking flings. Slightly more than half of the men could be classified as having the promiscuous orientation, compared with just under half of the women.”

Debunking of the double standard

Donald Symons, in his influential 1979 book "The Evolution of Human Sexuality," contended that it is natural for men to seek out multiple sexual partners while women are motivated to settle down with a single "good provider."

“Women, on the other hand, see sexual interest in another man as an indication that something is wrong - with their husband, with their marriage, or with themselves.”

Testosterone makes you want to mate with more partners………

“Relative to monogamy, polygyny creates greater fitness variance (the distance between the "winners" and the "losers" in the reproductive game)( alphas and omegas) among males than among females because it allows a few males to monopolize all the females in the group. The greater fitness variance among males creates greater pressure for men to compete with each other for mates.”

When there is an income discrepancy in a community like in most societies (rich and poor) women go for the one that provides. As George Bernard Shaw puts it, "The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first-rate man to the exclusive possession of a third-rate one."

The only exceptions are extremely desirable women the 10/10`s. Under monogamy, they can monopolize the wealthiest men; under polygyny, they must share the men with other, less desirable women. However, the situation is exactly opposite for men. Monogamy guarantees that every man can find a wife. True, less desirable men can marry only less desirable women, but that's much better than not marrying anyone at all.

IF HOMOSEXUALS ARE “BORN THAT WAY” AND GAY MARRIAGE LAWFULL SHOULDN’T POLYGAMY
ALSO BE LAWFULL?

[hellionthesage]

What your descirbing is promiscuity not polygamy. Polygamy is the attempt to find emotional fullfillment outside of a relationship, promiscuity sexual fullfillment. This also ignores certain issues. We desire high fat and sugar foods. The reason is because they were good energy sources so our brains are wired to send pleasure signals when we consume them, however the more important factor was that they were rare. Now that they are much more common, thanks to mankinds propensity for exploitation of nature, we have a surplus yet we are still wired to desire them as if it was rare. We know that its bad for us scientifically to consume large amounts yet our bodies are still wired as if there rare. It is entirely possible that this is the reason for a stronger male sex drive. The fact is women where far more likely to procreate thats why they focused on providors, which is known as hypergamy, and males focused on high sex drive. The reason being one, only about 40% of males reproduced compared to 80% of women. This higher sex drive forced men to take greater risks in order to wooh females (many proponets of the no masterbation challenge claim this to be true as well) this helped incentivise men to seek out women. The second reason is also due to the percentage of reproduction which meant that males did not have the luxury of being choose and thus more prone to being very superficial yet very open to sex, basicly shot gun approach (you take what you can get). So this is a very likely reason for these drives meaning that promiscuity would be a side effect rather then primary function (also the increased population size from a small group up to twenty to a city of millions would excaserbate these properties). However it is also been shown that when conducting open relationships many of them end in divorce. Most frequently do to jealousy which is why many ground rules are established (which seems rather unnatural for a perfectly natural thing). Many more slide back into monogomous relationships citing difficulty maintaining all of them, whether it being emotionally available to multiple people or scheduling or trying to balance time so one partner does not get left out. All of this would suggest that we tend towards monogomous (ish) relationships rather then open ones, plus multiple children requires multiple resources to provide for them so only the most able hunters/gatherers/wealthy would be able to maintain that.

[hellionthesage]

Then you have the issue of whether or not natural drive actually matters. Its natural for me to want to punch some one in the face when they make me angry (with our larger/thicker jaw bones and eye ridges we are actually designed for it) that doesn't make it a good idea both socially (breaks trust and group cohesion) and from a survival perspective (if he is bigger). Then you have the fact that your looking at this from a near utopian (in comparison) society. Imagine the open relationship without contraceptives. This would greatley increase the odds of STDs. It would also increase the amount of offspring, offspring which I doubt the average person could take care of if thay are with multiple women/men. Then the dependency period, second trimester would prevent a woman from hunting and decrease the fat (high energy) that she could get on her own or from a male providor, then the years of breastfeeding. If a male could not provide for her then the child and likely her would die.

[hellionthesage]

This would not be particularly advantagous from a biological/evolutionary perspective. Then you would also take into account that if a man knew he would not in all likely hood reproduce, what purpose whould it serve him to work hard/invent/build or do much of anything then fullfill his most basic needs? A society cannot function like that which is why monogamy is closely tied to agrarian societies (agriculture being the root of all civilization) Then of course the argument that our ancestors where poligomist/promiscuis is also flawed since technicly only some of our ancestors where, to be specific the wealthy/resource rich where. If you claim to model all of society what only a very few were able to maintain then would you also believe in incest, which is what all of the royalty in the world partook in (alongside the poligamy)? It is ancedotal, and would not make a very cogent argument.

[LonelyLillie13]

wow nice !

[LonelyLillie13]

as well on the side of monogamy is a male can ensure the upbringing of his offspring, he can protect them, hunting and teaching him the way to adulthood. People just want to be whores now a days but there is good reason to believe that monogamy is the way to go for some people.

[hellionthesage]

@LonelyLillie13 precisly. I also forgot to mention that we have an over saturation of sexualized media that has also scewed our perceptions of sex. Since it is so common place in media (basic emotional responses sell really well because they tend to be near universal and inherent to us, hence news outlets tending towards fear mongering) this has normalized the idea of promiscuity when it was not really the case. But when it is bombarded everwhere it seems to be natural. Also what you said is very true, with our juvenile/neotanis/plastic brains (child like in that it is highly adaptable and learns quickly) education and information is key to survival. The many children approach would most likely lead to death for the mother or child but if they did manage to survive then the child would also not benefit from the years of experience that the father could pass down (its how society exists, the passing on of knowledge.)

[hellionthesage]

@LonelyLillie13 It would have placed the child of a absenty father at a disadvantage to one who did have a father since it would have been unable to learn from them. Imagine an incredibly educated individual competeing against some one who wasn't, it would be a very one sided situation. Unfortunatley people are living comfortably enough where they think indulging there urges are natural just because they have eliminated all the things that would keep those urges in check. It actually reminds me of the mouse utopia experiment: ( io9.com/how-rats-turned-their-private-paradise-into-a-terrifyin-1687584457 ) long story short, without outside influences regulating behavior there "society" fell apart and resulted in complete extinction. Hopefully we can learn from that and not succumb to the same fate.

[LonelyLillie13]

great points!

[hellionthesage]

@LonelyLillie13 Thank you.

[Glue-Sniffer]

Ahhh... What a bunch of nonsense. If the purpose is to procreate and pass on one's genes, this approach is makes little sense. A woman is only fertile for a short time frame during her cycle. It lasts about 24 hours... if we assume sperm can survive inside her body for about 3 days, that gives you roughly 4 days to impregnate her. So the longer you hang around, the better your chances of having sex with her in that time frame. A guy can only procreate if he has Intercourse with her during that time which still doesn't guarantee anything. Then there is the whole question of okay I koncked her up but who provides for her until she gives birth and rises the baby?
If nature wants us to pass on our genes to our next generation, it only makes sense for two people to take care of the kids until they reach adulthood so the kids can go and spread their genes. Leaving the expecting mother and the helpless child isn't technically the best approach for guaranteeing your genes are being spread.

Besides mathematically it doesn't make sense. Because you need a man and a woman to cheat. So are all those cheating men only having sex with single women? Or with a few specific married women?
The statistics are flawed... Because how do you conduct research on such a topic? You rely on asking individuals and surveys... And that's a recipe for disaster... Because people get to manipulate the truth.
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-18233843

[DerMaisknabe]

My thoughts exactly.

[drayday4]

Women outnumber men and we die out faster. So if everyone pairs off some women will be alone.

[Glue-Sniffer]

There are more male babies born than female babies. But men die on average younger than women so this balances everything out. The sex ratio is very close to 1:1.
Get your facts straight!

[FatherJack]

Far more boys are born than girls , even accounting for earlier death , men outnumber women worldwide in the younger age groups , this only evens out into the 50's age groups , far worse in India & China where they abort / kill their girls. My daughters class is 70% boys - 30% girls & this is quite typical

[SakuraChii]

@draydray4
Not everyone wants to be in a relationship and some people leave their country to find a mate. Countries like China also has a large male population, so I don't see how this is bad.

[SakuraChii]

@drayday4

[GirlsLie]

I'm getting a little tired of seeing things like this, I mean it's obvious that men and women are built differently, i'm not arguing that fact. And I also don't have an issue with people choosing not to be monogamous if it works for both of them and their relationship.

My issue is how does that excuse them from making logical, fair and empathetic decisions towards the woman they love?

Obviously sleeping with more than one woman would hurt the majority of women's feelings and obviously it's not fair for men to get more sexual partners in the relationship.

So after evolving, knowing what the standards are today and that most women expect equality, how does that excuse them from thinking logically and empathetic towards the woman they love and not putting how they were "made" over the feelings of a woman they supposedly love?

The same could be said for women, people say women were made to be seek out the strongest, most successful male to mate with but these days women are open to all types of men, men who are more feminine, women can be bread winners now, we can equally provide for ourselves and our families.

So it would be equally as unfair for all women to go around going "you know what, I only want the most successful man because I was made that way".

Women were also made to be baby factories but now that we've evolved we can take precautions and choose to not even have children.

We don't have to look for the strongest mate to have them with because some of us choose to think with our brain instead of our vaginas, so why aren't men held to that same standard.

[apexalpha]

Men that chose the polygamous route should have consent from their first partner I stated that in the take

[GirlsLie]

Well i'm not arguing that you didn't say that or that people shouldn't do that. My point is why does the way you were made excuse you of any empathetic decision making or of fairness in the relationship, when the same could be said for women, with multiple examples.

[apexalpha]

Relationships should be fair but the needs of men and women in most cases are different

[GirlsLie]

I think so too but relationships also involve two people and the needs of your partner needs to be considered as well, so if you have to sacrifice keeping your dick in your pants and women sacrifice you not being the most successful man on the planet, because you both love each other. Then how it this just not another compromise, among many that people make in relationships

[apexalpha]

Yes relationship are based on comprises but you should also acknowledge that men are different just because he is in a monogamous relationship doesn't mean he isn't lusting for other women the reason he is repressing the urge is his compromise

[GirlsLie]

Well that's my point lol but it's just such a common thing now for people to go "oh but men are made that way".

You don't see people writing takes and articles about how women compromise when they pick a man who makes less money than they do.

But no one really takes into consideration the compromises women make in relationships as well.

I'm not making this a gender battle but i'm not going to pretend that it's not getting really old to see these same things said over and over in regards to men.

Because you do realize that you're actually sort of subconsciously insulting some males emotional intelligence and empathetic qualities by continuously saying things like that to generalize them.

[apexalpha]

But how do I go about insulting someone's subconsciously when I can't tap into someone subconsciously anyway it wasn't suppose to be an antagonistic take but to reflect to girls why "some" men cheat and yes women make sacrifices but its usually more to the offspring of a male. rather than himself I. e. look at mothers

[GirlsLie]

Well I didn't find it antagonistic, I just found it biased.

And I understand what you mean, I see it a lot actually, when women have issues with men looking at other women, when women have issues with men looking at porn or when they want an explanation for why a man cheated etc.

Men come in with this very same explanation and i'm not even arguing that it isn't a factor in why they do those things but the thing is he cheated because he made the decision to cheat and made the decision to put his feelings and needs before someone he loves, not because he was born to cheat.

We were all born to do a lot of things based on our own gender but don't all run disregarding others feelings to do those things.

[apexalpha]

Yes totally agreed a. man that's single his got sexual urges if he can't fond a girlfriend should he rape NO. You have to exercise self control obviously

[nalaa]

Another one of those posts, really?
It's the same thing all the time, the guy goes out of his way to explain why men are designed to sleep with loads of girls and how it;s natural to cheat, while giving exactly 0 regard to female sexuality.
Seriously guys, it gets old!

I do wonder though, is that you don't know about female sexuality or that you left it out on purpose to push a certain point of view?

And polygamy, really? I mean of course men always see themselves as the guy with more than one girl but in reality most if you will be the guy left with no girl. And with everything you said about male sexuality that'd be a nightmare
And in fact reality shows that that IS a social and economical nightmare. Men who have no chance and no hope of ever finding a girl are more aggressive and act out more, which leads to a generally unstable society. It's not really an issue if it's just 1 or 2% of men that feel that way, but if its 10%, 20% , 30% or easily more it's a huge issue. Just look at countries that allow polygamy, they're wastelands
Trust me we're doing you a huge favor by pairing up in two. It works out best for everyone

[apexalpha]

1) women experience sex by the total experience less to do with physical than men I. e. the importance of foreplay to them and sure they want to orgasm as well
2) women to men ratio after age 29 in most countries is higher. The flaw that some men will go without and act aggressive

[Azara]

what do you mean less to do with physical foreplay is adding tons of 'physical' to the otherwise few minutes it takes for the it to blow his load. sex is HUGELY physical. women bodies are way more sensitive all over physically.

[AdenKay]

In my opinion everything should now become legalised I mean incestuous relationships, polygamy and all sorts. If someone is horny for there sis or bro who are we to judge lol. If gay people are allowed to be gay and thats considered unnatural to some why are other forms of relationships blocked? I want to marry my CAT leave me be lol. obviously I dont believe incest is normal but it's unfair to judge some people if they want to be polygamous let them. in my opinion nobody should judge anyone so everything should be legal.

[nalaa]

@AdenKay what about the children? And marriage is a legal contract you can't marry someone or something that can't legally sign contract.
And saying everything should be legal is incredibly short sighted

@Azara ya I have no idea what he was trying to get at either, which is why I didn't reply

[AdenKay]

your short sighted if u think gay matriage iis any more normal then polygamy or incest. There all disgusting end of. My point was that you either judge everyone or no one. Not every child produced from incest is fucked up that's the media exaggerating the problem. In my opinion polygamy is fine because it's a contract. Why is polygamy and phaggot behavior different ehh? There not because it doesn't involve anyone and everyone is happy. Stop being a dumb bitch and accept men are innately programmed to fuck many women

[AdenKay]

Might I add you should go back to the kitchen and forgot about any career prospects because you clearly are incapable of coherent writing which you should have grasped at your age. You epitomize stupidity. Women like you were made to serve men sex and thats all. Other then that you have no worth to a man. I can already hear u shout "THERE ARE MORE GIRLS THEN BOYS AT UNI". But men are clearly more superior if 85% of the CEOS in the ftse 100 are men. We think mmore logically and dont use prostitution as a source of income. We are the main bread winners and we'd physically batter u. So dont forget this is a man's world. The only 2 places a women should be is in a kitchen/Brothel. doesn't include my mum or sisters #TRUTH

[nalaa]

@AdenKay
wow geez, you're on your period or something? Calm down

[AdenKay]

It's funny how u Insult me using a feature only girls can have 'periods'. Therefore u admit all girls irrational and illogical on there periods. Lol you've reinforced why men are superior we dont bleed once a month. Go bleed yourself to death. If your ever poor ill hire u to relieve myself while my wife is cleaning in the kitchen.

[nalaa]

@AdenKay I was exaggerating a stereotype to ridiculousness, because no normal person overreacts that much

[Mesonfielde]

1.) I am pretty sure most people look into options of cheating because their relationship feels like it is going nowhere, they feel unloved, not valued, etc. Essentially it is the process of looking for an alternative mate. Seen that in both males and females. Yes, females can cheat too.

2.) some people might value the Zerg mentality more and have sex with so many people (or so many times, I am looking at you people in poverty) they won't be able to provide for either of the children, but many people prefer have about 2-3 children and centralize the resources on their development. Either way, you don't need to be male to want to have sex, and you don't need to have a thousand mates to be biologically successful if neither of your kids survive the winter.

3.) bring a gold digger is learned behavior. Everyone values money though, it gives them more possibilities.

4.) 10/10 women are not globally valued as 10/10. Some people will value them 7. People find different things biologically desirable because this enforces genetic diversity. If every woman wanted to have kids from "that one guy" and vice versa, we would all die during the next plague.

5.) polygamy isn't needed, and most people aren't interested in it anyways. Maintaining one family is expensive enough, not to mention 5. And it would most likely break current IT infrastructure. Comparison to homosexuality is false equality.

[RationalLioness]

This is utter BS and has been disproven. You're not innately a cheater. You make the choice.

I'm not saying that it's impossible to make your penis stop perking up whenever you see something you like. I AM saying that there isn't a genetic function inside of you that overrides your logical thought to fuck another woman besides the one that you pledged yourself to without her consent. To say that is more than a little irrational.

This is an excuse for guys to cheat and it's not a good one. If it becomes well accepted, I think this will turn women off of men WAY more and that would be the adverse effect that many guys would want.

Anyway, polygamy isn't going to be legalized in the U. S. due to it not being beneficial for the government. I don't care if someone wants to have 10 children (provided that they care for them I hope) and marry 5 people. That's them. It's just the fact that that one household is going to get a LOT of money from the government when filing taxes which is the real issue, I think.

[apexalpha]

If men didn't have an overide function I guess rape would be more rampant. Most men don't act out on this desire for many reasons but it is there.

[Northeast106]

@rationalLioness, some people do seem to have a harder time not cheating though. I knew a guy who was married, and he was always cheating on her. He really loved his wife, and was almost embarrassed of his cheating, it kind of reminded me of someone with a gambling problem. He wanted to stop, but just couldn't help it. Of course, he would always have to plead with her to stay, and she would. She would even call him a player joking around, and he didn't like it. I'm not sure if he still is cheating, but they are still together and have 2 children. On the other end of the spectrum, I know of a few who are too loyal. Loyal to a person who really treats them like shit, but they still stay faithful to that person.

[RationalLioness]

Dude... Take Owner... You really can't be this simple. The rapist makes the CHOICE to rape. It's a choice. There is no genetic function which makes men black out and wake up with their dicks inside of women... lol.

Having a libido is natural. So many men have theirs raging crazily. But they still make THE CONSCIOUS CHOICE to relieve their desire by cheating. It's a choice.

@Northeast106 Your point is? He's still scum. If you know that you can't keep it in your pants because your sex drive is so high, find someone who matches you and would be okay with you sleeping around. That simple. There are many women out there like that.

He sounds like a sex addict which is a very real addiction though.

[apexalpha]

Yes its all a choice but there are driving forces behind the force that's my point

[RationalLioness]

That doesn't excuse the choice that was made. If you know that you have a large sex drive and you're with someone that doesn't fill your tank yet you care for them, the best option isn't to go get some on the side while selfishly still being with that person unless if the person says it's okay (there is a man that I spoke to who said that he lets his wife sleep around because he can't get it up).

The best option is to find someone else who will fuck you 8 times a day or to communicate this to the person if you haven't (you need more sex because it's important otherwise you need to leave).

[apexalpha]

Its not the quantity but the variance of sexual partners some men could be married to a nymph and still cheat when they see a younger fresher face

[Northeast106]

@RationalLioness True, I just meant some people are more prone to cheating, just like some people are more vulnerable to drug addiction.

[Jay-Are]

I disagree with the statements. Personally I have no problem staying faithful. And I am all for people staying faithful.

But to understand it you have to go all the way back to the beginning of humanity and ask yourself a different question. Don't ask yourself why men are not faithful but ask yourself why it is needed to be faithful? You soon realize that "It would be nice" is about only reason you can come up with. So imagine yourself being one of the first humans on the planet.

1. There is no such thing as marriage and staying faithful. Those are concepts that us humans made up along the years. Back then people just needed to survive.

2. For the survival of the human race it is not needed that men stay faithful. All we need to do is make sure the children get born and survive. You can see this with other animals. They don't stay together all of their lives. They just stay together until the children are old enough to stand on their own.

3. If a man would make another woman pregnant would even more ensure the survival of mankind.

4. Both sexes cheat. And tests have shown that women cheat just as much as men. In the beginning of time a woman could not really afford to cheat because she cannot get pregnant of two men. Nowadays with condoms that worry is over.

So these thing changes over time because society made these rules up. We may have evolved but deep down inside we still have these urges.

[apexalpha]

Yeah its a primordial instinct but its mostly society that dictates things

[sephylove]

To be honest, there is some truth to your take. Polygamy is a lot more common than people think. Even in North America, where it is illegal in the sense of, you can only marry one person at a time, there are countless affairs that happen regardless of a monogamous relationship set in place.

The biological and evolutionary aspect of man also seems to support man as more "polygamous" rather than "monogamous". Even the rate of man to woman is uneven, as there are a lot more women in the world than men. If there was just "one guy for one girl" theory, then a lot of girls would be left empty and without partners.

However, it is a very touchy subject. Especially since the Western culture idolizes finding "the one and only", "their love for ever and beyond" etc etc, which is further processed even more in the media. The actual truth though is farther than which we have fabricated ourselves to fit our perceptions. That monogamy isn't "natural" per say.

BUT, we don't live in a world that's purely based on our instincts and sexual desires. There is a society, and limits for each individual. There are an incredible amount of complications - such as the consent of the wife, the emotional and financial responsibilities upon the husband to take care of the wives, the number of wives he should be allowed. Etc etc. Just a lotttttt of questions to ask.

A lot of people would be against it simply because they don't like the idea of "sharing" a husband. But on a biological, scientific, and reasonable level it does make sense.

[apexalpha]

Yet more people are in polygamous relationship but under the name of friends with benefits and open relationship (to-mato tomato)

[sephylove]

True true trueeeeeeeeee. It's a double edged sword huh.

[vishna]

Men have evolved to have a different relationship with sex than women. They are driven by sex on a more intense and frequent frequency than women. Women only carry viable eggs during certain times of her cycle while men are fertile at any time. But besides this, women have to actually carry the child in her body for nine months, provide the growing fetus nutrients, then take care of the child from infancy until it can survive on its own or in a group setting.

Women have to be more selective, that's how we're wired. We need to find someone who can provide (we did in the past for sure) Guys want to spread their seed, that's how they're wired. But we have also evolved mentally. We have expanded consciousnesses, and different sets of relationship goals vs a turkey or a bull.

Now women can take care of themselves, but we generally still want monogamy. And guys want monogamy too. Some guys are just out for sex, no relationship. Others actually might find it hard to overlook a woman with a great body who wants him. But just as we've evolved to have sex for pleasure, we have also evolved and have more self control and empathy.

So, if a guy used this reasoning to rationalize cheating on me, I would dump him to the curb.

If people are ok with a polygamous relationship, then great. But don't use male biology as an excuse to not stay faithful. People have been doing it for thousands of years, so it isn't just sexual biology.

[apexalpha]

Haa yeah you can't go on a sex rampage and get the whole town pregnant

[Floyd790]

Some girls are out for sex too so you can't say only some guys.

[vishna]

I know. I tried to word my opinion in a way so that I wasn't completely tying down a sex. I'm saying, this is basically how each sex is wired. I'll clarify and say that within each sex, they deviate from the biological trend.

[Floyd790]

@vishna
When certain girls are horny some guys can't keep up "biches in heat"

[vishna]

That was a play on words about another question. I've forgotten the question, but I was mentioned that user's name and even said something about the reference.

[PiuBelloAmante]

Hey is you are single go ahead and sleep around as much as you want, whatever consequences you face are your own

I like the idea of settling down with one woman I truly care for but sometimes that idea seems so distant and unrealistic
Which is crazy, men by nature are attracted to many woman, we might be in relationships and find other women attractive and think about doing things with them but what separates a good man and a great man is that the great man sacrifices on those things for love

I would never cheat or rationalize cheating
But if a woman is ok with a man sharing his love and affection with other women, it's really not her place to be upset

[apexalpha]

Obviously in a polygamous relationship all parties would have to be willing but I see it as more list than actual romantic attachment but as long as everyone is happy who am I to judge

[ArabianPwincess197]

I think in today's time a decent woman might not be able to share her man with anyone. The one's who can live in Hugh Hefner's harem. They don't mind at all

[PiuBelloAmante]

@ArabianPwincess197 yeah I wouldn't be willing to share my girlfriend with anyone and I hope my girlfriend would feel the same way

@apexalpha yeah leave and let live they say 😄

[ArabianPwincess197]

Same here. I'd rather share my pens than my spouse lol

[PiuBelloAmante]

@ArabianPwincess197 haha!!! Oh my!
Sheesh that was funny 😂😂😂

I still wounds share all my pens especially my tri-color bic pen!

[PiuBelloAmante]

*wouldnt

[ArabianPwincess197]

Saying something and doing it are two different things. Tbh I'd just go out and buy the same pens for this so called invisible barrier of a woman who's after my man lol. Bribing with pens :o

[PiuBelloAmante]

Lol! That might not work everyone sweetheart @ArabianPwincess197 lol
Not everyone loves stationary 😜

[ArabianPwincess197]

True :( Would the ferrero rockers work? I have a awesome Italian cook you know

[PiuBelloAmante]

I think they would work amazingly :) @ArabianPwincess197
And thanks =)

[ArabianPwincess197]

Awesome :)

[apexalpha]

I will fine both of you for bribing women
And @ArabianPwincess197 I want some ferrero rocher

[Bvroon]

I think the tendency for a man to seek out multiple women is greatly dependent upon the man. I say this because while it is true that I look at other women, looking is as far as it goes, as I am happily married and am far more willing to dedicate my energies into my marriage to make it as good as it can be, rather than believing that I might be able to "get" with other women. Even if I could have multiple partners (many women, for my one self) I'm not thinking I would, the reason behind that, is again dealing with my desire to make my one wife happy and I'm not sure I could do that in a multiple marriage sort of situation, besides how would I be able to support multiple women when quite frankly I feel I'm struggling just to support the family I already have? I guess I'm just odd that way in, that I really like a strong stable home environment, and I will do what I can to help strengthen this environment.

[apexalpha]

I agree having one is better quality over quantity

[miserybusiness]

Are you seriously trying to justify cheaters?

Believe it or not, men have brains too. Or are you saying that rationality and higher judgement are traits solely for women? (Thank you, btw)

Instead of relying on your dick to get through the day, why not use that little noggin hmm? Your "natural state" is no excuse to hurt another human being unlawfully. After all, you aren't a gorilla, you're a human being. A human being with the ability to sense and judge based on morality. A human being with a freaking BRAIN

[apexalpha]

The irony in this

[miserybusiness]

Do you even know what irony means?

[genuinlysensitive]

"Believe it or not, men have brains too." Agreed. I can think of lots of women on this site, and in real life, who you need to share that information with!

[Azara]

Slightly more than half of the men could be classified as having the promiscuous orientation, compared with just under half of the women.”

even if this were true. just under half is a huge amount. 60/40... 40% appropriated to our entire of the population is huge. it hardly establishes promiscuity being male centric as a rule.

additionally, patriarchy is a social structure-not biological. it doesn't prove men are naturally more promiscuous. it just highlights the prejudice behind acceptance of promiscuity depending upon gender..

[bubble_tea]

Yeah... I don't get why he thinks 60-40 is such a huge difference that men are naturally polygamous, but women aren't lol

[bubble_tea]

It may even be something like 55% men vs 48% women.

[Scrambled]

I'm a poly, and more women in my social circle are poly. The men are actually the pussys of the group.

[Azara]

i also think if people want 1 or 50 partners woman or men , woman and women man and men man and women thats their business. im not against it. im just not buying its a 'guy' thing.

QA it doesn't need to be justified by being a guy thing. if its your thing thats enough. do you your thing g ;p;

[Jxpxtxr]

Is that supposed to be your justification to cheat or what?
That is so weak tbh - it might be true that it's just a natural "instinct" or w/e but even then there seem to be a lot of men that are more evolutionary advanced because they mysteriously manage to control themselves and stay faithful in a relationship. LMAO.

[apexalpha]

Not a justification but highlighting a factor for need of multiple partners in men

[Jxpxtxr]

So do you think women don't have this need? I think not.

[AleDeEurope]

Hmmm even though I now rather not be just with one woman and prefer to jump around, when I get older I just want ONE woman, I want her to be just mine, and I want me to be just hers, and I see many men like this, men that just want to find one woman who they can spend the rest of their life with, and no one else.
I'd rather have one woman that cares for me and who I can live my life without worrying of her cheating or anything, than having 5 wives which only main purpose is so that I don't have to have sex with just one and can spread my seed to more women.
The "love" one woman can give you, can't be given by multiple, it's not the same.

[datgirl]

MHO!

[AleDeEurope]

@datgirl If only he could give MHO haha but thanks though :)

[TwistedLogic]

I don't know if "natural" means anything to be honest. Is civilization natural? What about culture, arts, and technology? In my head it is pretty simple. Humans must curb many of their natural urges in order to improve their quality of life. I am sure it is natural for a human being to harm, kill, or rape others given our egocentric nature. However, if you want to live in an advanced and productive and safe society, you must control your urges or face the consequences. So, just because men are biologically designed to spread their seeds everywhere, they must realize that this is not a proper way to build a healthy society and history verifies that.

[Ozanne]

Two things: I'm not against polygamy. If all parties are happy with the arrangement, go for it. If they want their marriages legalized, I don't care. Go for it. I myself wouldn't enter a polygamist marriage, but I certainly am not going to stop others if that's what they choose to do. It's an ancient practice for families that need help with yard work. :/

About our biology, I agree with you, what about our evolution though? Men might have the want or need to cheat to spread their seed, but we've also evolved to learn some self control and consideration for our partners. Women may want to cheat fill emotional needs, but also have evolved to control those feelings.

I think cheating, though you are correct has an underlying biological urge in men and women for whatever the reason, is used now as a tool to get out of bad marriages when normal communication won't do or isn't working.

[apexalpha]

People cheat for reasons that benefit them women mainly because the man is not attentive and men its more physical. If you not happy after giving it a shoot why stay. There are too many marriages where the spouses stay unhappy with each other because the kids.

[Ozanne]

I know. I had said I agreed with you there.

[oddwaffle]

You need to take a bit deeper into evolution to understand why female and male have different behaviour. Probably throw in behavioural economics and ecology for good measures. The ideal strategy for male would be to impregnate as many women as possible and let other males playing fathers. The ideal strategy for women would be to get a kid from the best genetically superior, successful and compatible male and have the most suitable fatherly male to help her take care of the kid.

Another strategy for male would be to impregnate one woman who is extremely compatible with him and stay with her to raise a few kids successfully. That way, instead of having 100s of children who might or might not survive until adulthood, this male would have a few with almost certain chance of survival.

Female has one optimum strategy because they are limited in the number of offsprings they can have.

[apexalpha]

The last strategy is what works best for our modern times in my opinion

[oddwaffle]

It really depends actually, if you could secretly impregnate a lot of married women then you'd probably do it if there is no chance of getting caught. In fact there is nothing to prevent you from having a family and donating your sperm (as a way of reproduction) if your sperm is superior and worth about $900 a tube. Yeah, superior human sperm is pretty expensive... even your wife would chip in and help milking you for sperm if you need money.

[apexalpha]

Damn I thought spemr doners made like $40 tops

[oddwaffle]

Nope you can probably go hundreds if your sperm is superior and you are selling them instead of donating. Of course, you would need to be verified somehow. High IQ, handsome, no genetic defects... etc.

[nalaa]

Agreed. Choosing ONE woman is the best and most successful strategy for most men. Which is why we do it. It's best for society as well.
We're not a pack of lions were you can just fight a guy for his wives and if he loses you kill him or he wanders of alone, not affecting others. That's not how society works

And I think you only got it half right.
" The ideal strategy for women would be to get a kid from the best genetically superior (...) male" true but that's only half of it. She also needs a guy that has to be able and willing to provide for her and her children. And that doesn't necessarily have to be the same guy. Since genetically superior men are more likely to cheat and less likely to provide for their children, getting it from two different men makes sense as long as the risk of being caught is reasonably low.

We know that women overall have been far more successful in passing on their genes to the next generation than men, implying that is exactly what happened

[Azara]

#1 ensures nothing. bc once spreading is the imperative there's no saying any other male will be around or spreading his own seed. i dont buy either argument bc communities are much more to credit for the raising and survival of children. nuclear model is a modern concept appropriated to what we think we were millions of years ago. but as your examples go #2 is the only one that is logical. #1 is just used to justify mean fucking around and being promiscuous and moreover to shame women out of having free sex life.

animals that have to raise young for many years live together with mates and or with others.

[Octavius]

"Blah blah blah blah, Polygamy! Blah blah, no self-restraint, blah blah blah more excuses. Blah blah blah..."

No but seriously maybe there's something inherently wrong with me because I don't even need to make an effort to being attracted to only one person. If I'm in a committed relationship the most I ever do is look at a girl and think "She's pretty attractive..." and then forget about her two seconds later.

[hellionthesage]

same here.

[BiffWebster]

there isn't that much evidence to support polygamous. Polygamy causes lots of emotional problems for women. They usually don't talk about it because polygamy usually is a sign of some cult or a psychopath. -_- or both. With natural polygamy (like many wild animals) you wouldn't have so many people hung up on their lost loves. They would simply move to the next one without any thought... like a lion. Hits it and moves to the next, and nobody in the pride freakin cares.

But no, relationships hurt, people will literally kill themselves over it, or some unlucky bystander. What your talking about is promiscuity, but that crap usually ends when the love for someone deepens to where you won't leave the girl, or guy your with.

[cipher42]

First off, I'm actually conflicted on whether polygamy should be legal. However, your arguments for polygamy are all deeply flawed. Argument from nature is a logical fallacy. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it should be legal. Furthermore, comparing polygamy to gay marriage is utterly ridiculous, as even with same sex marriage the nature of the marriage remains the same as it has previously been, whereas polygamy changes it entirely. Lastly, polygamy and polyamory are not cheating, and to insinuate that is deeply offensive toward polyamorus people. I recognize you probably didn't exactly mean it that way, but being as you didn't explain that your use of cheater in the title is still problematic.

[FakeName123]

"Argument from nature is a logical fallacy. Just because something is natural doesn't mean it should be legal."

Isn't that the same argument homosexuals use to explain that homosexuality is natural?

[FakeName123]

+normal -natural

[cipher42]

@FakeName123: Yes, sometimes, and even there it's a fallacy. Though honestly I see that argument brought up mostly as counter argument to the anti gay people arguing that it's unnatural (which is of course still a fallacy), where the "it's natural" argument would actually be valid. Also, there's a difference between arguing that it's okay because it's natural and arguing that since they can't change it, they shouldn't be discriminated against for it.

[Pampered]

Girl you are not 17. wth lol

[cipher42]

@Pampered: Ha, thank you, I guess. I definitely am 17, I'm just well read for my age.

[hellionthesage]

glad you pointed that out, I was also arguing that.

[KBob93]

I agree, polygamy should be lawful. There are Fundamental Christians that practice it, there are still Mormons who practice it. It's a very primal practice, though. The backset to polygamy is that down the line, cousins might start mating with cousins, causing incest in the long run.

[crystalt70]

Mormons don't practice it. The ones who practice it USED to be Mormon, but were kicked out of the church because they wanted to be polygamous. They refuse to give up their Mormon status, so they started their own church. They are not LDS (Mormon), but are FLDS (Fundamentalalist Mormons) who have no status/membership in the Mormon church.

[Northeast106]

Mormonism started with polygamy. The LDS main church body gave in to political pressure and abandoned the practice, even though it's supported by their theology.

[crystalt70]

@Northeast106 I know that. I said they DON'T practice polygamy. I am referring to the present tense. I was baptized in two religions. Mormon was one of the two, with Catholic being the other. I know the history and current practices of the church. I am telling her that the ones who practice polygamy currently are not Mormons anymore, because they were kicked out specifically for practicing polygamy. The ones you see on tv were kicked out for that very reason, but they still claim to be Mormon. Many of them live on communes and are rather cultish in their practices. People see this and believe that those are true Mormons and that's how all Mormons are. They broke the law and the church rules. These people didn't like it, so the FLDS church was started.

[crystalt70]

@Northeast106 these are two different churches with two different practices in today's world. The LDS church does not support polygamy. The FLDS church is all about polygamy. The LDS people are really good and humble people. They are made to feel like crap by those who have no clue what they are talking about. They do not fight back, though. The Bible shows that people will go against anyone trying to be close to God. It also states that you will be rewarded in Heaven for each time you turn the other cheek. The person (s) who do you harm will be the ones to face judgement when the time comes.

[Northeast106]

@crystalt70 I see, thanks for the explanation.

[crystalt70]

@Northeast106 When the LDS church practiced polygamy in history, it was not against the law. They were not the only ones to have polygamous marriages in the U. S. The founder of the church did practice polygamy and that is why Mormons were associated with polygamy. Once it became illegal, the church abolished the practice. Many of the members did not want to give up their multiple partners. The church kicked them out and that is why the FLDS church was started. Those people still wanted to be Mormon. They still believed the same things. When people think of Mormons being cultish, they are thinking of the FLDS church, but do not know that there are two separate groups. Why? Because like anything else in this world, people spread things without doing their research for the truths. It's all about what can cause the most drama and give the most thrill. Ignorance is in ubundance, despite the plentiful resources available. It's easier to spout off with falsehoods than to actually learn.

[crystalt70]

@Northeast106 you are very welcome. 😊