10 Reasons Men Cheat

[Anonymous]

I'm not making excuses, but men cheat for a variety of reasons.

Sexually, men are usually aroused by body parts or sexual acts. In general men don't need a relationship or connection to psychologically engage sexual experiences or objectifications. The result is that men enjoy venues and platforms that allow them to sexually objectify body parts, i.e. P*rnography or strip clubs.

Men cheat for one or more of the reasons below:

1. He is insecure

He inserts himself in situations that provide external validation in an effort to boost his self-esteem. For example, he may feel not good enough, undesirable, unattractive, unsuccessful, etc., so he will use cheating to reassure himself of his desirability and worth.

2. He is immature

He thinks "what she doesn't know, won't hurt her." He doesn't get that the truth 9 times out of 10 always comes out.

3. He is scarred or damaged

His past experiences have left him unable or unwilling to fully commit himself to another person. He might think that his spouse is cheating as well.

4. He is unhappy about the relationship

Instead of dealing with problems in the relationship, he turns to cheating as an outlet or distraction.

5. He has unrealistic expectations

He believes his partner should constantly and perfectly meet all of his emotional and sexual needs. Blinded by his narcissism, he might not see that his partner has other responsibilities. If he thinks his partner isn't meeting his expectations, he seeks answers outside of the relationship.

6. He doesn't know what he needs emotionally

He complains about attention and brings up the past or the beginning of the relationship. He might feel trapped, suffocated or emotionally drained, so he'll turn to p*rn or cheating.

7. He is not who he says he is

Despite making a commitment, he never meant to be in a monogamous relationship. He does not respect the relationship and lacks compassion for his indiscretions. He prioritizes his extracurricular needs over the relationship.

8. He doesn't feel appreciated

Especially if he thinks he is constantly being blamed or criticize, he might seek appreciation outside of the relationship. With a new love interest, everything is fun and exciting and he seeks that adrenaline rush and appreciation.

9. He is a sex addict

Instead of dealing with his stress or feelings, he self-soothes and self-medicates with playing out sexual fantasies and urges.

10. He wants an out

He no longer wants to be in a relationship and is trying to send the message with cheating on his partner. He also might be trying to set up his next relationship for when he breaks up with his partner.

Why do you cheat? Do you think the reasons above are excuses?

[SecretSomeone]

All the points can be used against both sexes...

[zombiebabe]

i think its better to leave than cheat

[1GuyOpinion]

Not if they invested so much in a relationship already. Might just be a moment of weakness for most cheaters.

[ObviouslyBored]

I get the "moment of weakness" but when you go from touching, kissing, unbuckling, lining up to put it in, and doing so repeatedly until the finish. At some point before the putting it in you'd think you would stop.

[PhiOmega]

@1GuyOpinion

A moment of weakness and a lifetime of consequences

They're a fucking adult and need to stop acting like kids,

Sometimes it doesn't matter if it was a mistake or an accident, or "moment of weakness", in REAL life u don't always get a second chance, that mindset is dangerous

Men should hold themselves accountable for every action they take, u don't get to pick and choose

[zombiebabe]

@PhiOmega ;agreed!!!
@ObviouslyBored ;yeah they should realize what they are doing

[Anonymous]

Women overthink this cheating business. Al Bundy has the answer as always: "Aw, Peg, how do you expect me to get excited when you just re-wrap the same old junk I didn't play with the year before?"
Men cheat because they are bored of their wives who are the same old women they have been with for years. This is the reason men cheat on their somoking hot wives with ugly skanks. Even that ugly skank is more exciting than the boring wife, especially if the wife is colder than space and her libido cannot be measured by science. Many women also let go over the years and turn into whales. Many of them can't get out of "mommy mode" and neglect their husbands. Not many women understand the excitement of a secret lover. The secrecy, the planning, the obvious taboo makes it 100x more pleasurable than regular sex. You kiss your wife goodbye on your way to work and go to your lovers house who greets you dressed in babydoll lace dress with stockings and a garter belt, without panties. After you finish you go to work and go home to your wife to have sex with her too and she suspects nothing. Now that is excitement.

[wom777]

wow sick..

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1423873-casanova-player-or

[DaCrownlessKing]

You're garbage bruh

[MargaritaPeach]

What you are saying happens so frequently that there has got to be some truth to it. So... that being said, in the scenario you just spoke of, does the husband have a right to be angry if he comes home from cheating one day and finds his wife in bed with another man?

[Opinion Owner]

The man has the right to be just as angry as the woman in that situation. It's not about right and wrong, it's about excitement. If you cheat on your wife/husband she/he has the right to be angry with you. You just have to be careful not to get caught. The more you get away with the more exciting it is.

[gonewild]

The way you defend it, it seems as if you've cheated before. I'm disgusted.

[Opinion Owner]

Many times, this is my thing. I'm not here to sugar code it for you or anybody else, I just gave a honest reason why some men cheat. I don't really care if people can't handle the truth.

[Anonymous]

I am not insecure, immature, scarred or damaged, unhappy, or have unrealistic expectations. I know what I need emotionally. I am exactly who I say I am. I am very appreciated in my relationship. I am not a sex addict and I don't want out.

Also I am not weak, unemotional, narcissistic, non committal and ignorant.
I love my partner more than anything on this planet. We have an amazing relationship, and I treat her with utmost respect and compassion.

That being said, having sex with someone else would be just an activity that brings me pleasure, like any other activity that makes you feel good, it doesn't require emotion. It simply something to do that creates dopamine in the brain. Like when women go shopping or gossip. They get a dopamine rush but are not emotionally connected to the activity. I wouldn't do it to hurt my partner, or anything of the sort, it would just be sex. (I have never cheated on ANY partner, but I can fully understand the reasoning)

Separating the act of sex from the act of love shouldn't be that hard. They are two different things. The only reason it becomes a problem is because women get emotionally connected during sex and then make it more than it is.
Women also can not understand the physical and emotional differences between the two, they assume that because they envelope emotion in the act, that we must as well. Which is simply not the case.

When women cheat it is all about emotion, it isn't just about an activity.

[Mustachekitteh]

Most women who feel hurt when cheated on for sex. Makes them feel like their body isn't good enough to satisfy the guy their with. That their vagina isn't good enough. That they aren't good enough to make the guy want only them.

[PhiOmega]

That's EXTREMELY immature and sounds like a fucking kid

Anyone who would reason on the fact that "it feels good" needs to get their damn desires in check, everyone else moderates their desires if u can't just stop pretending ur an adult

[Opinion Owner]

Women being hurt because they don't feel good enough is because they compare themselves to women, we don't compare. It has nothing to do with her.

@PhiOmega I appreciate your opinion that it sounds immature but that is... Your opinion.
I never reasoned on the fact that "it feels good" I reasoned on the fact that sex and emotion can be separated. The requirement to moderate our desires because "society" tells us to doesn't make us adults... Having the ability to understand your desire and separate love and a physical act of sex is more mature than suppressing urges because of a societal standard. You attempt at shaming me was noted.

[Voidone]

In a monogamous relationship sex usually holds emotional meaning. Not everyone feels this way but if you are I. A relationship you should never think it's okay to sleep around unless you've made this clear to your partner.

I remember reading somewhere that one of the things most sexually fantasized about is being romantically involved. I don't know how accurate that is but I hate the notion that sex is only emotional for women, because that's false. I personally can't have sex without developing attachment, which I why I'm not one for one night stands. Or cheating.

[tbarron77]

I totally agree with you. I also think that if you look outside of your relationship for pleasure something is missing within your relationship.

[inamorata]

"I reasoned on the fact that sex and emotion can be separated. "

By that logic eating and health can be separated. Why not stuff your face with McDonald's and candy like a fat pig?
You can eat healthy next year, you just need a bit of variety now.

PhiOmega was speaking of what is most virtuous, most functional and best overall. You're presuming your behavior doesn't have an impact on EVERYTHING around you. <- THAT's the immature part about your opinion.

Anything you do has consequences. If you're in a relationship and fucking around, it's not separated from the relationship. That's more than just your dick in another woman.

[Opinion Owner]

How is separating eating and health the same thing? Well if your a female who attaches emotion to the act of sex, I can see how it would work, but like I said, men can separate the two. It is not an absolute like eating and health. Just because you can only understand it though your female mindset doesn't mean it's the only way. It doesn't make it immature.

Not understanding that others can think differently, because your mindset only see's the two as connected, and therefore expecting everyone to be the same, is immature. Like children who have been studied can not lie until around 3yr because they don't understand that others may or may not know what they do. They assume that because they know something, you must know it as well. It's a childish mindset.

"Anything you do has consequences", So if you are in a relationship and go to a spa, you let someone rub you down... you get pleasure and have no emotional connection to it. In your way of thinking, this would still be wrong...

[Opinion Owner]

Just because you associate sexual intercourse with emotional reaction, does NOT mean everyone does. Males have a different biological programming and it is nothing like a females. Having sex does NOT have to be anything different than a body rub from a spa. It just doesn't, you will never understand it, you will regardless of what I say, only see it from a female perspective and attempt to shame what you don't understand simply because you don't like it.

Therefore there is no reason to go back and forth about it.

[rubifen]

I have a next door neighbor, an older man in his 40's.
We went out to a tavern, had a couple of pints, talked about life.

This guy was a single man. Had an excellent job, tall, regular yet manly face and had a slender body. Calm, very intelligent and cultured. The guy was marriage material for sure.

But he cheated and left his partner? Why?

She would use sex in a childish and controlling way.
Instead of loving this man, she would reject him (even half way during sex), not hook up for a month or two (until she got the urge...) or scream at him that he was never getting any, ever.

She was getting fat too and never bothered going to the gym

So, he ended up having a passionate affair with her best friend.

So, was this guy a violent, dirty coward? No.
Just a guy who had felt so much hate, stress, anger and bitterness from a cold and frigid woman that he sought and found what was lacking in his relationship.

[Sairapanda]

so guys cheat when they can't get their dick wet, nice

[rubifen]

Your full of hate.

[PT1911]

He could ave just broken up with her...

[rubifen]

True. But the mind is not always in sync with the heart.

[Anonymous]

You've missed out or glossed over one of the main reasons, in my opinion.

His partner has stopped being intimate with him.

This happens far far more than you'd think. Some women get it into their heads that they can train their man to do without sex and start with holding sex from him in an effort to somehow kill his libido.

They turn the relationship into a platonic friendship, with kids often involved and a severe financial penalty waiting for the man if he decides to leave and find actual love elsewhere.

These women insist, despite 4 billion years of evidence to the contrary, that a man can be happy in a sexless marriage, just being friends with his wife, raising his kids and providing for his family.

You want to know why some men cheat? That's why. It's a story as old as time itself, and those women bring it on themselves by being selfishly stupid beyond all rational thought.

[myTake Owner]

I glossed over your point... refer to number 4 "He is unhappy about the relationship." That would address him being unhappy about the sex aspect, but thanks for going in depth!

[Opinion Owner]

Except your number 4 is putting the blame on him - he's unhappy. It's his fault. He wanted too much or had unreasonable expectations.

I got the impression you were fixated on showing that when men cheat, it's always the mans fault.

[EpicFrog12]

You could apply a lot of these things to women as well... I think men and women cheat for essentially the same types of reasons.
Though men are more likely to say that they cheat because "it's just sex," or at least do so more frequently on the internet.

[Kshppatel]

I find it funny that everyone I talk to is so against cheating yet half-off them if not more are the same ones that cheat. People are so fake. That's why I don't trust anything anyone has to say anymore. How many times have you heard "I don't cheat. I'm against cheating. I'm not that type of guy/girl." I feel like people have other people on the side just so that if their relationship is having problems they can go to the other person when they are alone at night. It's all a bunch of bullshit man.

[Kshppatel]

Also I laugh when I hear "I made a mistake" or "one thing led to another and it just happened." First of all you didn't make a mistake. You made a decision. And nothing forced you to make a decision but you. So take responsibility for your fucking actions. Second of all one thing does not lead to another. There are a sequencer of events that happen. One thing le to another doesn't happen in between the guy and Girl sitting there and the guy and Girl laying naked in the bed.. People just wanna be able to do whatever with no consequences. Fuck that shit man. This subject pisses me off so much y'all have no idea. /endrant

[lumos]

Pretty good take, but you could have made this gender neutral since it pretty much applies to everyone and not just men.

[Roostah]

How about:

1) Because his mate stopped putting out and he is sexual frustrated.

2) GF/Wife is lame is a prude when it comes to sex.

3) He just got bored of fucking the same girl. Novelty wears off.

[Anonymous]

what about those who are simply starved for sex? as in, men in marriages whose wives refuse to have sex with them. I doubt those men are just sex addicts.

[Opinion Owner]

plus a lot of men and women cheat just for the trill of it.

[EngineeringStudent]

That probably falls under "unhappy with the relationship" or"feels unappreciated".

[Opinion Owner]

@engineeringstudent everything falls under unhappy with the relationship.

[kheserthorpe]

its unhappy with the relationship with a particularly large helping of 'and can't get out of it very easily'

[PhiOmega]

I'd just end it

[meatballs21]

"Unhappy with the relationship's" description heavily implies that he has made no attempts to try and fix the problems.

[Opinion Owner]

@meatballs21 I'm not argreeing with his description.

[MargaritaPeach]

I think "starved for sex" or even craving emotional connection/validation are probably the leading causes for cheating and affairs. All the reasons listed about are legitimate causes, though. Good article!

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Why is this aimed at men? All those reasons and more can explain why someone would cheat. Don't know why you've chosen to say it's for men.

[astatine]

'scared of emotional intimacy' could be one of the twisted reasons too. he wants to hurt her so that she doesn't fall for him, or the other way round

[Mustachekitteh]

Good take and it almost made me think of this song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCkpzqqog4k

[PhiOmega]

I nvr seen the video b4, i always imagined the roles reversed

[sammy_31]

THIS SONG IS AMAZING!!! SAM SMITH!! Yes reminds me of this song too! :'(

[ObviouslyBored]

You are right. These are all logical reasons. The absolute biggest reason being self fufillment. All of the above reasons are surrounding around filling a void somewhere. Well all except the last.

[Unit1]

Well... I can only agree to number 10, 9, 3 and 4. They are absolutely accurate, especially number 9!

Basically some reasons have women with men in common to cheat.

I never had the chance to cheat... except for games but that's not the topic ;)

[gonewild]

High five for cheating on games._.

[Outofthegrey]

There is only one reason anyone of any gender cheats: Because they're a terrible person.

[sammy_31]

Great take and yes this also go for women, people cheat for many reasons you mentioned, could be one or multiple but something is wrong for sure.

[WitchKing]

I cheat cuz it's just sex. Its not that I don't I've my gf, I love her a lot. Its just sex with the same girl get boring after a while. But that doesn't mean I love the girls I'm cheating with, cuz I don't. I love my gf.

[ThisDudeHere]

Obviously you don't love her you shit.

[been_waiting]

You obviously value your sexual needs over your girlfriend. You either love yourself waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much or you don't love her.

[WitchKing]

@thisdudehere
I dI love her actually

@been_waiting
I'm neither narcisistic not do I value my sexual needs over my girlfriend. Mostly cuz there is no such thing as a sexual need.

[been_waiting]

Then why are you having sex.

[ThisDudeHere]

@been_waiting I don't think we should bother. He's in a whole new level of narcissism way beyond any one's reach.

[been_waiting]

@ThisDudeHere also stupidity lol

[WitchKing]

@thisdudehere
Definitely not stupidity. I'm 7th in my class with a 3.97 GPA, all AP classes.

[PhiOmega]

Immature, just a boy

[Kshppatel]

Dude if you want to fuck other girls why be in a relationship? What's the point?

[WitchKing]

@Kshppatel
Cuz I love my gf, I don't love the other girls I bang.

[Kshppatel]

Lol come on dude. You don't love her. You just want to be able to do both at the same time because you don't want to give up either. If you love your gf then what the fuck is love anymore?

[WitchKing]

@Kshppatel
Trust me, I do love her.

[Kshppatel]

Well if that's true than love doesn't mean shit anymore. If you can love someone and go around and fuck other people without her knowing then fuck relationships

[PonderLife]

You need to take a step back and look into yourself to see what you really want. If I was her to be honest you would be gone in a second.

[Arthurred]

I am not going to judge you for cheating but hypothetically speaking what if she found out that you cheat? How do you think she would react?

[TheDevilInside]

I read 7 out of the 10 points as: "He's a big fat asshole"

[Anonymous]

I like that this take is about the feelings and thoughts of a cheater that may or may not be true that made him cheat and not about what the cheatee has done to make him cheat.

I agree with everyone else that the reasons are genderneutral.

[AyaEhseen]

some men are taught they can own it all and have no repercussions. its a shame.