Relationships

Actually, I have a better idea for Valentine's Day!

Actually, I have a better idea for Valentine's Day!


Unless you are in your first relationship, or you are waiting for your first relationship, you have some history. There are people in your past. Some of them may be relatively obscure memories and some of them may be quite fresh. Maybe it is one or two people. At my age, I could probably name 15 or 20 women who played some significant role in my past.


Some of you save mementos from your past and you may even have a dresser drawer with a box that contains those items. You have a key chain that your girlfriend bought you went you went to Rock City (all older Southerners understand that reference.) Maybe you have the note that she passed to you during dinner when you introduced her to your parents. You have the extra key to the motel room where you and your first serious relationship had your very first sexual encounter. Mementos help to keep us connected to the past.


All of those relationships ended because they disappointed us or we disappointed them. When they ended, we felt jealousy, mistrust, rage, indignation, sadness, longing, regrets. Some of those feelings can linger for a lifetime. We all have mementos in our psyche.


If you have not let go of those hurts, maybe you have wanted to do like cartoon girl above and push one of those guys off a cliff. They hurt you and it's good riddance, right?


Before you do that, let me point out something. Every one of those experiences - even the lousy, lousy ones - helped to shape and mold you into the person you are today. You learned from those experiences and you are stronger, wiser, more compassionate, more likely to see your partner's perspective . . . you are an all around better partner because of all those experiences. Think back to your first relationship and how you acted then; compare that to how you conduct yourself now. You are a better person today, right?


You can throw out the key chain, the note, the motel room key, but those experiences have all left indelible marks on you. You can throw the guy off the cliff but that won't get rid of your feelings, so I have a suggestion.


Hopefully, you have a wonderful partner in your life now and you have made plans for how to celebrate your love with them. Before you do that, pause sometime earlier in the day and relfect on how the bad experiences have actually made you a better person. And then . . . try letting go of any residual resentments and anger, say a silent "thank you" to all of those characters from your earlier life, give thanks for the gift of love . . . and then go plant a passionate kiss on The One who lights up your life!

Actually, I have a better idea for Valentine's Day!
Post Opinion