Can You Cheat On Someone You Truly Love?

[Dragon09]

Someone posted a question with this title: Can You Cheat On Someone You Truly Love?

I'd attribute this myTake to them for I was writing a response to their question when I suddenly realised I'd written a ridiculous amount for an opinion. So hense it's here in. Unfortunately that person posted anonymously.

Whether someone cheats or not has nothing whatsoever to do with love.

Those who cheat desire something the best lover, the best cook, the best friend, the best provider, the best all-those-things-rolled-into-one, can never, ever give them.

The chase, the adventure.

A loving, caring, mutually beneficial relationship offers the exact opposite. It offers safe. It offers comfortable.

But cheating partners don't want safe, they don't want comfortable. They enjoy the adventure, the pursuit.

Pursuing someone, not in the 21st century 'stalker' way but the 1950's 'wooing' sense holds great appeal.

But what holds more appeal is the WINNING that pursuit and the great rewards that come with it. Yes there's sex... but there is power, success, joy, self-believe, self-confidence. You win someone like that, it can give you a natural high.

But there is a downside to winning that at first appearances might seem like the prize. The girl/guy is yours. To have again and again. It all seems like part of the 'spoils for the victor'. The winning of that person's heart.

But the keeping of that person requires a whole different kinda skill set, a whole different kind of personality trait. One that the cheater/pursuer will try to fake for a while.

Untimately though, the chase is over. And it all seems great for a while. Happy even. But in the end there will be a time when the need, the yearning, for a new adventure will come around once more.

I don't believe that the amount you love will impact upon that desire much at all. Having said that I do want to offer some final thoughts about keeping that partner:

Loving them more feels the right thing to do, but it's not. It merely reinforces the comfortable frame of mind. When what they really need is a little uncertainty, they need to feel that they need to continually win your affection, a reason to pursue YOU again. You need to show them that there is an adventure, a chase to found right here with you.

They need not look any further.

Good luck.

[XRabbitHeartX]

No.

If you truly love someone you will NEVER betray that person like that and the love you have for them will make you NOT want to cheat on them as you know how much hurt that will cause them.

If you claim to love someone but then cheat on them because they don't offer you something then once again, it's clearly not love because when you love someone they are enough for you.

There's no such thing as loving someone but then cheating on them and then claiming you still love them. If that is love to someone then I don't want that person in my life.

[Chief16]

Cheating has nothing to with love? Why the f does it hurt so much then?

[Hope96]

NO.

Some questions and MyTakes on GAG make me wonder if love even exists. I have to DISAGREE with this MyTake. No games, no adventure can stop a person from cheating. Simple as that. Relationships are not meant to be built on uncertainty or dating games. It's supposed to provide you peace, comfort and security.
Your MyTake makes it seem like it's only the duty of the loyal partner to change themselves and to try to maintain a relationship OR ELSE the partner would go around, whoring themselves and cheating on you.
Those who cheat are assholes. Leave them and better find a person who is not going to give up on you for a 'better and shiny' option.

[Mustachekitteh]

Honestly in that case. The cheater never truly loved the person in the first place. They never truly cared about the person they cheated on. In the end they are a pathetic human being and should have had the balls to end the relationship if it was so horribly boring for them.

[M_A_X]

Agreed, but it's not always about having a lack of balls. Sometimes it's about having a lack of morals lol

[Mustachekitteh]

@M_A_X I was meaning it about any gender. Morals have nothing to do with it. They are just to much of a coward to end it.

[M_A_X]

I wasn't trying to say that you meant it about only men.

Sometimes people don't know the difference between right and wrong because they're stupid or morally weak. The only way to assume it's because of cowardice is to assume they KNOW what they're doing is wrong and they CARE that what they're doing is wrong. If they don't know or care, they simply have weak moral character

[Mustachekitteh]

@M_A_X If someone is too stupid to know cheating is bad. Then they are dumber than a sack of rocks. Even more if they don't realize what they are doing is wrong. They would be to be extremely mentally retarded not to know.

Has nothing to do with if they care about what they are doing or not. Cheating is cheating. I'm saying they are a coward for not breaking up with the person they are in a relationship with first if they are going to go chase someone else.

[0112358]

Everyone wants to say 'no' because they want to believe that real love will protect them from the risk of cheating.

They're wrong.

If you're just dating it's pretty easy to just damn well break up if you want to be with others. But married couples over decades with kids, it takes more than love to keep that going and keep no cheating. It takes work, both discipline of the self and work from each party to keep things going.

[tenchu11]

Cheaters don't love the person. They love the security, a predator always returns back to the comfort of its/their layer. Not to sound Buddhist but if you truly love some one you would be selfless and not cheating. If your not physically attracted to them you'd help them become that person. Within reason such as working out est...

[clampfan101]

I feel the part about having nothing to do with love is contradictory. 😕

Cheating is never okay, and never something I would do. If you want to try and see if another person is better for you, you're simply going to have to break up. (Or divorce, if you're married, and that would be simply wrong...)

Never more than one relationship at a time.

[theccanyon]

Yes, a person can cheat on someone they truly love when they love themself more than they love their other.

[Under_The_Sun]

CAN you? Yes.

Is it ethically wrong? Of course.

Please, people try not to mix what is scientific possible with what is ethically correct ok? Just because soemthing is ethically wrong, doesn't mean it's not scientifically possible. Let's not fall into fallacies. It's a matter of logic, not emotions.

Cheating on someone you love is wrong because it's not ethical, not because it's "impossible".

[Mccc000]

Yes. Temptation gets the best of you sometimes. Doesn't matter if you say you love that person. You see the opposite sex and you're immediately attracted to that person, you aren't thinking and the last thing you know the deed is done.

[ThisDudeHere]

"You aren't thinking"

-That is the lamest excuse ever. Yes you are thinking. You're thinking through the entire thing. If you cheat, you don't love your partner because made a string of conscious decisions that were to the detriment of your partner. You knew full well what you were doing and how it would harm your relationship yet you did it anyway.

[M_A_X]

@ThisDudeHere You and I should be friends. We both expect people to take personal responsibility for their own decisions instead of using excuses.

[ThisDudeHere]

@M_A_X Apparently that is too much asked these days.

[Hidden_P]

No you can't. If someone really loved someone they would want to stay with them, make them happy, keep them theirs. If you cheat you don't love them, don't respect them, and care more about your needs than anyone else's.

[PinceNez]

So if someone is cheating on you, it's your fault - for being too safe and unadventurous? Really?

[giveherthis]

This question gets me mad. I would never cheat on someone who I truly love. Why would I do that to a person?

[LittleSally]

The answer for cheater is 'yes' every time.

[M_A_X]

But then the question becomes... can a cheater really love someone?

[Chief16]

@M_A_X upvote that bruda.

[ThisDudeHere]

Someone wrote a take with the same title like just recently. And my answer is again no.

[ThisDudeHere]

Oh wait, never mind. I only now noticed you mentioned the original. Ok then.

[Poppykate]

I am going to have to disagree with you Mr Dragon!