But he/she is the LOVE of my life!
Some if not all of us at some time would've met the man/woman of their life- or so they thought. Then it happens that someday, you noticed some suspicious text messages and how your significant other starts to puts a passcode on his/her phone.
And then all the puzzle pieces started to form together. You start to think real hard and berate yourself. What went wrong? What happened? It was not too long ago that he just said "I love you"!
** I'll be using 'he' instead of he/she to keep things simpler.
Are you serious? She is just a friend!
Seriously, how many times have you heard this phrase? "She is just a friend", and next thing you know, they're locking hands. Rule number 1, trust your own gut feeling. I agree that it is unfair if you go around suspecting and questioning, but if you do feel that something is indeed wrong, you keep your eyes peeled.
I've had an experience with this before, and I always thought that it wouldn't complicate things if I just forgave all the 5-6 times he cheated on me. Okay, guess NOT!
There must be something I did wrong
Some people will tell you that your s/o left because you guys were not meant to be (soulmates). That's a general way of putting it. But in fact, there are multiple reasons behind their cheating:
1. He feels hollow because there's no more excitement in the relationship.
- When in a relationship, keep things fresh and build up on the communication. Both parties must learn how to compromise and be mature about their own actions. There's no 100% excitement and 0% responsibilities in a relationship! If he expects all excitement, then he's not yet mature enough to commit.
2. Expectations
- Face it, everyone has their own expectations of how their relationship is going to be like. If the guy is going to be good to them, or if the female is able to fulfill certain responsibilities. Sometimes, it's best to let the expectations be known. Never set them too high or too low. Keep things realistic, and always be open for discussion.
3. My new boyfriend/girlfriend appreciates me more than you do!
- Now, who doesn't like to be appreciated? When in a relationship, never take anything/anyone for granted. A small 'thank you' gift during Christmas, or something lovely during Valentine's would just be perfect. But never be unappreciative ie When your s/o buys you a rose and you tell him that "that is not practical!" or when you decline his gift or does not ever buy him something back. Ouch. Apart from material goods, it is important to share, care and concern yourself with his/her daily life. Never let him feel isolated or depressed. Be there as a pillar of support.
4. Promiscuous
- He/She might not be ready to settle down. In cases whereby your s/o shows that he/she is unwilling to commit and you need a serious relationship, then it's time you move on.
There are many reasons, and what I've listed about are just some of the common ones.
The Blame Game
Who should I blame? In actual fact, most of us would feel hurt, angered and even depressed that we've trusted the wrong person and have been cheated on. You can blame yourself, your ex, and the person he/she cheated with, but you know what? At the end of the day, what has happened has already happened. No matter who you blame, nothing's going to change.
What you can do is to let out all the painful feelings. Tell them to anyone who's willing to listen and give a comfort hug. I'm not going to tell you to forgive and forget, but at least, never blame yourself for what has happened. In time, open your heart up again and treat this as a learning experience.
"I'm sorry, I want you back"
At the end of the day... I still love him. Should I go back to him? The answer? It is your choice. Are you the type to forgive and forget?
I've ever went back to someone who broke things up with me for at least 10 times. Why? We all amount it to the word "love". But have you ever thought that perhaps it is not love after all, but just a feeling of familiarity towards the person, especially if the two of you have been in a relationship for years?
Bear in mind that a person who loves you will never break things up with you, much less cheat on you. If your s/o is willing to change for the better and you are confident of forgiving, then there's no actual harm in getting back together. But there are many cases whereby the hurt remains, which could cause more fights and misunderstanding.
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On a last note...
I hope everyone will stay faithful to your partner, as it was a choice we originally made and therefore we should be responsible for keeping to it. Cheating on a loving partner is never something which should be done, especially if you claim to love him/her. Never let a moment of fun ruin a lifetime of happiness.
For anyone who's been through bad experiences, stay strong and move on.
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Everyone is welcome to share their experiences/opinions. Thanks for reading, much loves!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
As someone who was cheated on, and had to raise a daughter on his own I can say I will most likely never find anyone else in my life ever again. It's not worth it to me with women who cannot be faithful in today's society. Loyalty has gone out the window.
I'm sorry about that. There are actually women out there who can be faithful, especially if she too has kids of her own or is matured enough to commit. I hope you'll at least find a friend or someone close who could be there for you. God bless :)
people cheat because they have a mate to cheat on, and don't know how to sleep around while being single. maybe we should teach them that. =)
People cheat because evolution programmed us to be polygamous. Simple as that.
Yes, I do have to agree that human beings have traits and are said to be naturally polygamous. While monogamy for now appears to be just an ideal, it is not impossible to practice it.
The idea of polygamy actually brings about much more excitement, which could be a main reason why we tend to turn towards it.
Polygamy is still alive and well in the US. Just not the Mormon multiple spouse kind of polygamy. Americans are swingers and swapping wives.